The Sun Will Rise
by Trans
Summary: No matter what we wish, some things are just meant to be. To see what is important, sometimes it has to be taken away. How far will Hisoka be willing to go, to get it back? TsuSoka.
1. Prologue

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: This is one of my first fics for this fandom, but I have a good idea where it is going, and hope that everyone enjoys it.

**Prologue**

The night air was thick, and even the moon was blocked out. No stars. No light. They were truly blind, or at least Hisoka was. Hoping that Tsuzuki was having a better time at seeing the path than he was, he moved closer to his partner's side. Even in the dead of the night it wasn't cold. The air was strangely stifling, hot and sticky on his skin. Hisoka's neck was damp, hair plastered annoyingly to his forehead. Something in the distance was beginning to prickle at his senses.

A hand curled around his wrist and Hisoka had to quell the impulse to flinch away. Tsuzuki was halting their progress suddenly. He couldn't see the brunette's face, only a foot or so away from his own, but he could feel his sweat-slick fingers and the fear emanating from the tight grasp. The muscles of Tsuzuki's arm were tense and unsure. He was worried.

"There, do you feel that?" The prickling along the tops of Hisoka's arms intensified at the same rate as the ache in the back of his skull. Power was gathering ahead of them in the grounds of an old temple, now just a few pieces of grown-over rubble. They'd already passed a few crumbling tori gates. This was definitely the right spot. Why this place of any, Hisoka still couldn't figure out.

This case hadn't been what they'd expected from the start. First it had been one soul, Kira Shinose, and they'd been assigned to retrieve it. It was standard: a run down hotel room, Tsuzuki going over budget on desserts, and of course the incurable whininess. Then it was two souls.

Two, then ten, then fifty--people would die and their souls wouldn't arrive in Meifu. In the span of a month, the total was over one hundred. None of the deaths were suspicious in themselves. Souls…simply disappeared.

It had been more than frustrating trying to find some kind of connection or clue, anything as to why everyone dying in the area young or old would just go missing--some way to stop it from happening yet another time. On top of that, having to share a room with Tsuzuki for a month…wasn't enjoyable to say the least.

A happy puppy Tsuzuki could be dealt with. A lazy, messy, Tsuzuki could be taught a lesson or two. A depressed and guilt-ridden Tsuzuki…that was when Hisoka was at a loss. They hadn't had many cases since Kyoto, and all of them had been simple retrieval cases, nothing to work Tsuzuki too hard. Everyone, most of all Tatsumi and Hisoka, were still concerned with his mental stability. They didn't want him hurt again. Hisoka should have known that with their job it was impossible. This had turned into their first big case since then, and he knew it had come too soon.

As more souls vanished into thin air, and with nothing new to go on, Tsuzuki became more cheerful (false of course) and seemed even more distracted. A number of times Hisoka had found him sitting by their hotel window absently rubbing his thumb over his wristband, radiating uncertainly, case papers slipping from his lap. It was unnerving and really Hisoka was no good at comforting people. He just didn't know what to do…

It was too early for Tsuzuki to be working a hard case, but the purple-eyed shinigami seemed determined to finish it. Hisoka thought that in a way he needed to know he could still do it--that even after Kyoto everything would work itself out and that he wasn't _broken_. It was hard for him to watch.

So Hisoka worked even harder. If that was the only way he could help Tsuzuki then so be it. It was amazing how many people really died each day, and so the number of souls increased exponentially. Deciding it was the best way to figure out just where all the souls were going, they went to the local hospital yet again. They'd spent numerous evenings investigating there, but with no results. It was difficult to predict just when a person was going to die, and even harder to catch the soul in the time between departing and mysteriously disappearing--finally they found someone. They held vigil in the shadows until the old man died, only then placing the tracking spell on the soul. It had to be timed precisely.

Now Hisoka had never like hiking, usually it being too hot or too cold, uncomfortable, and seemingly pointless, but he hated it even more when he was forced to do it past midnight. The dark hid things. What hideousness could be waiting while one was blind? He could feel the gathering power now, like claws ready to strike while he was unaware. A lot of power. The moon should have been full that night--the strongest time for magic. Whatever spell or ritual the souls had been gathered for, was apparently going to commence shortly. Leave it to them to get there _just_ in time.

Tsuzuki's breathing was loud with everything else so silent and he finally let go of Hisoka's hand. "What would require that much energy…?" The younger shinigami knew he was just as worried as himself. Spells always needed an exchange. The greater the magic (the affect wanted), the more energy (sacrifice) it needed to be cast. He shifted uneasily. The energy at the top of the hill was a shining beacon in his mind, almost like a red burning that couldn't be seen by ordinary eyes. It was more than just the souls they'd been searching for--how could someone amass that much energy? Regardless of how, with that much energy, they could cast a spell with devastating affects.

Tsuzuki was summoning one of his messenger birds, like the one he had used on the Queen Camella. Hisoka couldn't see it but he could hear Tsuzuki muttering the spell quietly. Releasing it into the air, he wondered if even it would be able to navigate in the starless sky. "I sent a warning to Tatsumi. We need back-up." Hisoka nodded in agreement even if he couldn't be seen.

A faint light began to shimmer through the trees up ahead, catching their attention. "Tsuzuki I don't think we have time to wait. The spell could be cast while we wait here, and then we won't be able to save any of the souls." To his left Tsuzuki shifted uneasily.

"Alright," he said reluctantly as they continued their ascent. "But we don't know what we are walking into. Please be careful." His emotions were so turbulent that it was hard for Hisoka to ignore them. Worry, some anger at whoever was doing this, but mostly fear fizzled in the air between them. There was a fear of failure, or the fear of possibly having to kill whomever the caster was to stop the spell. It was so deep that Hisoka opened his mouth to say something, anything to make his partner feel more confident and assured, but he couldn't get himself to say it. He couldn't say the simple truth: that he would be by his side.

"Idiot, I'm the one who should be saying that." He was surprise to hear a nervous edge in his voice. "Just hurry up," he amended, his tone a bit stronger. Now wasn't the time for Tsuzuki to doubt himself. He was strong, stronger than anyone, and even the wounds Muraki had inflicted to his spirit couldn't change that.

The path turned steep as they reached the crest of the hill, the air so thick now that Hisoka could choke on it. His empathy was becoming unbearably acute with all the excess energy, a headache forming between his eyes. He pinched them shut, trying not to show his distress to Tsuzuki. Hisoka followed him closely, concentrating on tolerating it. Suddenly the path became lost in the thick brush, and they walked carefully so as not to attract any attention.

Hate, he realized, was the emotion that pressed in on him, and was what made the haze so thick. It was almost like a grey matter that soaked in through his pores. The caster was just so…angry. He must have made a sound of pain because Tsuzuki was holding his arm again, ducking his head to whisper against his ear. "Are you alright?" There was a bit of panic there, in his voice and touch. Hisoka took a deep breath but it did nothing to push the suffocating feeling away. His stomach turned.

Ignoring Tsuzuki's question, he pushed him away. "Keep moving." Without them touching, The brunet's emotions were drowned out by the hate and power. Hisoka wasn't sure if he should have been relieved to get away from that incessant worry, but he wasn't. It made him feel even more lost, like he might be swallowed up by the other's emotions, and lose everything, becoming just as senseless as they must have been.

It was so hard to continue walking, getting closer, feeling that digging sensation grown in the pit of his stomach. By the time they reached the edge of the clearing, it was all he could do to sway into the trunk of a conifer, breath coming in sharp pants. It was always that way. He could never be strong enough to hold his own, protect Tsuzuki, or be his equal. He would always be overwhelmed--always be useless. It just made him feel so, so…._angry_.

_No_, he reminded himself as he turned his head to see what Tsuzuki was staring at. That wasn't his emotion. Not his. Not his. He had to remember that it wasn't his but--_it was hers_. There was a woman standing on the foundation of what must have once been a building. She was only visible because of the light glowing from the stone basin at her feet. Malevolence was painted on her face like heavy make-up; eyes like steel being tempered by flames. Her hair must have been blonde, but the limp strands appeared red in this light. She was scrutinizing them, his slowly processing mind realized.

Tsuzuki stance was defensive, a fuda already at the ready, and Hisoka really wished he could keep his knees from buckling. It was just too much, but even shaking, he dug his nails into the bark of the tree to keep himself from sliding down any further. "Why are you doing this?!" he shouted before he could stop himself. _Why are you so angry? _Tsuzuki didn't move, but his eyes darted to the blond, surprised that he'd spoken. After seeing the condition of his partner, he could nearly feel Tsuzuki's muscles twitch as he fought the urge to go to his side.

"It's the only way!" Her voice was cracked but sharp. "Don't try and stop me!!" Hisoka could see the gleam of red symbols painted on the ground and over her skin, probably from the blood of some kind of sacrificial animal. The light in the basin bubbled at the edges straining to be free. The souls…that was why they hadn't been able to detect the gathering energy--she'd found a way to contain the souls.

"You don't have to do anything!" Tsuzuki said pleadingly. He always wanted to try and save everyone, even the enemy. If it weren't for the pounding in Hisoka's head, he would have yelled at him for being an idiot. There was no way Tsuzuki could persuade her, but then again, he couldn't feel what he could with his empathy. He didn't know how powerful her hate was. "Just let the souls go and you won't have done anything wrong!"

"NO! It doesn't matter! I'm so close, and then everything will be better!" Her voice was hysterically shrill, loud in the dense air. She still hadn't finished the spell, which must have been long and complicated (no telling how far she was already into it), so if they could keep her distracted…then she shouldn't have time to complete it. If they could just get enough time, then Tsuzuki or even Tatsumi could dispel the gathered energy and release the souls.

"What are you trying to do? What will killing all these people do?" _Stop, Tsuzuki_, Hisoka thought tiredly, _just end it_. She couldn't be reasoned with…

"You wouldn't understand what I've had to live with. How horrible my life's been. Hell would have been better!" She pulled her sleeve back exposing the scars over her wrist. "But why should I have to wipe myself out?! It is all their fault! They did this to me! Why should I have to be the one to die, and I HATE them so much!"

"Ah!" Hisoka gasped against the renewed emotions flooding him. A part of himself echoed what he could feel in her. The hate, it was for the people who hurt her, who made her the way she was. He too hated, mostly his parents and Muraki, and he could never forgive them. He could no more forget his hate than she could.

"Hisoka?!" Tsuzuki called, then quickly, "no, dying wouldn't have helped, but destroying all these innocent souls won't either. You have to stop! Killing doesn't make anything better! You'll regret it forever it you do…"

"But I won't! Don't you see? Killing them wouldn't take away my suffering. Revenge would change nothing! That's why I need to wipe them out. It will be as if they never existed! I won't ever have to remember, no one will know their names! Even you!!" Oh. Hisoka could finally see why she needed so much energy. For a spell to be powerful enough to change time itself…but she would need a catalyst…a more powerful being to carry off something like that.

"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka tried to warn him. Using all his strength he forced himself to stand. He could handle hate…he felt it almost every day, so he should be able to handle hers too. Her reasoning didn't matter, because it was their job to stop her. She'd included herself in the spell's energy by painting the incantation on her flesh. If they wanted to stop it, they would have to kill her. As long as she didn't summon whatever being she was attributing the spell to, and make the wish itself, then it was possible to stop this madness. "Tsuzuki…we have to…"

Purple eyes were so unguarded as they met his. The pain there, the near plea that they didn't have to kill her, the hope that if wouldn't be more blood on his hands, was too great for Hisoka to take. He looked away. He knew that Tsuzuki must have known her pain as well. He too had experience a life with little more than despair, but he knew that Tsuzuki would rather die himself than take out the ones tormenting him. That was where Hisoka knew they were different. He would, had, survived at any cost. "We have to…," he repeated. But it was really _he had to_, because only Tsuzuki was strong enough. Hisoka wasn't…never would be…and he hated it so much. He was only a burden to Tsuzuki.

Then it was too late. The woman was speaking again, this time muttering the spell with a fast tongue. "Tsuzuki! Now! You have to stop her now before--" But he would only stand there with the fuda clenched in his fist, and it _was_ too late. The symbols were bubbling and hissing, the stones cracking underneath her feet. They split and shot upwards, massing together in clumps like clay. "Damn it!"

Running forward, Hisoka stumbled into the clearing, trying to keep a footing on the shaking ground. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki seemed to come to himself and was running after him. If they could just stop her from making the request…then maybe they could still salvage the souls. Tsuzuki would have to deal with whatever demon the girl had summoned.

She was kneeling at the foot of the mass of moving boulders, hands shaking as they clutched her own arms. Under the hate was a tinge of fright. "You have no idea what you've done! This isn't something to mess around with!" Hisoka reached her side and grabbed her by the arms. She looked at him stricken. "Come on! Move!"

"No! I want to make it stop! This is the only way! I just want it to stop…" She was babbling. Great. Hisoka tugged again, but she only unwrapped her arms, not budging at all.

Hisoka turned and looked at the writhing mass of rocks. They were beginning to smooth out into what appeared like a statue of a large man. The expression was fearsome with long shaggy hair surrounding his face. Bulging muscles drew out of the sharp rocks, shaping the man into something that resembled a sumo wrestler. He could feel the girl's fear increasing behind him, but he watched Tsuzuki instead, who was readying to summon a shikigami.

When the ground stopped moving, they all held their breath. He had to get the girl away from there! "You can't control that thing, get out of here now!" he shouted at her as the stone fingers began to flex, and granite eyes blinked open. Whether she believed him or not, she seemed scared enough to scramble backwards off the foundation and onto the grass.

Taking a thundering step forward, the stone man peered down at him, making Hisoka realize he was standing were the girl had been just seconds before. Next to him was basin containing the souls, and he thought hastily that they should have thought to move or protect it, because now he didn't see how they could do either. "Tsuzuki!" he shouted as the demon reached a hand the size of a small care down to scoop it up.

Tsuzuki's shikigami was already being summoned, but the demon didn't seem to care that a threat was on its way. He downed the contents of the basin in one swallow, the souls beyond retrieval. No! No, no, no NO! The empty basin fell from the giants palm, crashing to the ground, forcing Tsuzuki to dodge out of the way. The broken pieces scattered over the floor and grass. "Your sacrifice is sufficient," a voice rumbled from stiff stone lips. Hisoka took a defensive step back as granite eyes focused on him.

Sparing a hopeful glance Tsuzuki's direction, he was alarmed to find he couldn't see anything. The temple ruins had vanished, making him alone in pitch black. The dark squeezed in close, and he hoped that it was all an illusion. If Tsuzuki wasn't there then he would have to fend for himself. "Make your request," it continued.

Hisoka pressed his lips firmly together. He wouldn't say a word. He hadn't cast the summoning spell! He refused to have anyone's soul be used for his benefit, and hardly trusted the demon for a 'wish' anyway. Internally he pleaded for Tsuzuki to somehow find a way to get him out of the situation. He highly doubted that jitsu, or at least _his_ jitsu would have much affect. He hated it! Why was it always like this?! He was only every a hindrance to Tsuzuki, never his equal, and only seen as a kid. He would never…if only he wasn't so _weak_. Hisoka could understand why the girl thought it would be better to forget everyone. If he could forget Muraki…if that man had never existed, then maybe he wouldn't have suffered the way he had. If only his parents had shown him one ounce of love--if he hadn't been born with this damn empathy… Maybe his life could have been different. Maybe his life would have been better, made him less messed up than he was, and then _he_ could have been better (for him)…In a way he wished--

"Your request is accepted." What?! NO!!

"I--I didn't say anything! I didn't request--" The air was stolen from his lungs instantly. It felt like a pillow was being pressed to his face and covering his ears. He couldn't draw in any air, his lungs burning longingly, nor could he see. It was only darkness that traveled up his spine and spun in his head. No, he hadn't meant to…he didn't want…

But he couldn't breathe and he couldn't think. The night was pressing in from all around, and finally, finally he gave in and let himself slip away.

AN: for those that might be a little confused about anything that happened in this chapter, rest assured, I kind of meant that to happen. I want people to have to figure things out with the characters.


	2. Chapter 1

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Chapter one, enjoy the confusion, and be patient, Tsuzuki will pop up again.

**Chapter 1**

"Uhh…" He felt warm, a hot coil spun between his ears, but something cool and damp brushed over his brow and down his cheekbones. His thoughts were stuck somewhere that he couldn't reach, so he didn't move at all--didn't try to open his eyes _at first_. It could wait. He felt so safe, and just so warm. The cold dampness lifted from his head, and dainty fingers brushed hair from his eyes.

"Mmm…" It took him a second to remember how to open his eyes, but when they blinked open he could finally see the face that looked down at him. "Miya?" Short hair in pigtails, she smiled softly over him. She would always be a plain country girl, but in Hisoka's opinion, her smile gave her a sort of innocent charm. Too bad being a servant of this family meant she would never be able to marry.

"Good your awake! Your father has been worried about you." She set down the washcloth in her hand and knelt back. None of the lights were on in this room, so it had to still be early in the day.

"What…what happened?" He tried to remember but his mind felt fuzzy, like he'd slept too long--too deeply. He knew he'd been dreaming something too…but besides purple eyes and red moons, it alluded him. He often had inane dreams anyway, that he couldn't recall, and always left him unsettled. His head throbbed dully. Had he hit it on something, he wondered?

Miya frowned. "You've been overworking yourself. Ever since Dr. Hazama's…tragic death, you've been so concerned about the Mistress that you've neglected yourself! We were so worried when you collapsed yesterday!" Her hands clasped at the hem of her yukata restlessly. "You have a slight fever. You should rest, and I'll bring you something to eat." She stood up and hurried from the room.

Hisoka settled back into his blankets, his head slowly clearing of its haze. He hadn't been working _too hard_, he could argue, but he knew Father wouldn't hear anything of it. But if they had no doctor, that left only the few servants that knew about her, to take care of Mother. He wanted to be there for her too! She needed someone, and he might not be a doctor…but he could at least be there. Perhaps he hadn't been sleeping enough…but it was necessary, even if Father didn't believe him…

"Its good to see you awake." Hisoka lifted himself up from his pillows into a sitting position. It wasn't Miya bringing his tray of food, it was his father. He was frowning a look of disapproval, as he kneeled down at his bedside. He set the tray onto his lap and said, with no room for questioning, "eat, you haven't been eating enough lately. Rui would never forgive me if I let you waste-away like this."

Bowing his head in apology, he swallowed before speaking. "I'm sorry Father. I didn't mean to worry you." A large hand rested on his shoulder. Hisoka looked up to see him smiling. He studied his father's face carefully, all too aware of his own difficulties as of late. The smile seemed to warm away some of the tiredness from his face, but his eyes still looked like those of a cold snake. Hisoka forced himself not to look away.

"Your mother has been…ill, for almost two years, and nothing you do will change that. I, myself…haven't been in the utmost health. We have to keep you healthy now, don't we?" For the village. The Kurosaki line must stay strong…and his father was doing his best for him too. Hisoka knew, that once Father was gone, the family responsibilities would go to himself.

"I'll be more careful," he said taking a few bites off his plate. He didn't want his father to worry about him too. So much had happened lately in the family, that he wanted to be there to help bear the weight. Hisoka was nearly eighteen. He was a man--seventeenth generation Kurosaki!

"Good," he shifted into a more comfortable position besides Hisoka's bed. "I talked to Miya, and she and I agree, you have been working too hard taking care of your mother. I know you don't like the servants doing all the work, but it isn't your responsibility either. Its been nearly a month since Dr. Hazama left us…and I've sent for a new doctor. I've received confirmation that one will be arriving in a day or two. I hope, that that might ease your mind." Nagare looked at him expectantly, his bandaged hands resting in his lap. His father used to be, still was, a handsome man. Hisoka hoped he could grow to be like him someday.

"Of course. Maybe they will be able to help mother…" There was still hope. He could feel that longing in my heart, to be a family again, and for everything to be alright.

"Well then, I expect you to rest some more. I don't want to have this conversation again, understood?" That was his father, strict, but you always knew he cared. From the time Hisoka was little, he had done his best to lessen the burden of the family name. They never talked about it, but he knew that his grandfather hadn't been as compassionate. He tried to do his best, and in kind, Hisoka tried to be the best son he could be.

"Yes," he promised. He would just be more careful, and perhaps this new doctor would be able to help his mother. There was only so much he could do after all. Often he only sat at her bedside, although she didn't seem for be able to hear what he was saying most of the time. But sometimes…sometimes she would turn her head and smile--even say his name.

"Well then, I'll let you finish your lunch." His father stood and left quietly.

Suddenly, Hisoka felt ravenous and found himself finishing everything on his tray without even having to be goaded into doing so. It was good, and his head no longer felt fuzzy. He was feeling better, rested, and…perhaps he hadn't been sleeping enough. But there was no help for that. His father might not understand, but he couldn't be lax in his duties, not if his mother was to get better--be safe.

Sliding the tray from his lap, He stood up, and cleaned up his futon, placing it neatly in the corner of his room. Hisoka's muscles were still a little sore, but he didn't feel dizzy, perhaps he would just take it light today. Usually he would train every morning, but it was nearly noon now, and he didn't think he would be up for it. There was no point in practicing if he was only going to be sloppy. No, he hadn't gotten to check in on his mother last night, so he would go see her now. But first, he frowned looking down at himself, he needed a bath. From his dresser he pulled out a change of clothes, and left his room for the bath.

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The hallways in this portion of the estate were darker. The main house was always lit fully. It was pristine and warm. The side buildings, this building in particular, were never granted much light. It frustrated Hisoka sometimes, like they were purposefully trying to blot the place out of existence…but he knew that wasn't true. He didn't hate this place, even if it frightened him a little. That was why he always brought light with him. Why shuffle in the dark, using flint to spark a flame, when you can invite light willingly into the cold space? And it was always cold…so empty. "It must be so lonely out here…"

He pulled the key that hung around his neck out from the from of his yukata, and turned it in the rusty lock. It clicked loudly, and he pulled the door open. The hinges protested, groaning in a low drawn out sound, but he was used to this by now. "Perhaps we should have it oiled…," he whispered to himself. It was a bad habit he had when he came out here where the silence was unnerving.

Using his own lantern's flame, he began to light the ones inside, until the glow was bright enough to expose the interior of this room with no windows. What it must be like to live in a place with no light… his father just didn't understand. Hisoka couldn't leave her alone out here. "Good afternoon mother…I'm sorry I didn't visit last night, and I'm so late today. I'll make it up to you."

Slipping his shoes off onto the mat by the door, he made his way to the only chair in the room. It was resting dutifully by the large bed, where his mother rested. She looked the same as he had last seen her. Her cheeks were gaunt making her cheekbones more pronounced in her face, unblinking eyes popping. Bony fingers clung to the swell of her stomach through the sheets covering her, and her mouth gaped, muttering things under her rattling breath that made no sense.

Reaching out, Hisoka brushed some of the hair from her face. He tried not to notice how brittle the strands felt now, when he could remember a time when he had admired their sheen and beauty. He tried not to think about how clammy and cold the skin of her forehead felt when his fingertips skimmed it, when he remembered a time that her hugs were so warm it felt like all the problems in the world could disappear. There was a time when she was animated and loving, always put together in the way that made her look like a delicate butterfly.

Swallowing back the burn in his throat he tried to continue, "Father has sent for a new doctor, and maybe he'll be able to cure…this." He looked back down at her stomach, at that abnormal pregnancy of two years. He didn't trust it. If it were a child…then it was not his sibling. No normal child would rob their mother of life--would reduce her to this. But what could he do? Their family, despite circumstances, strived to uphold a standard of normalcy. Family pride made many things taboo. He could remember many times he had tried to breech the lines, and talk with his father…but he always thought better at the last moment.

The doctor was for his sake, not Mother's. Hisoka didn't believe his father thought Mother could be cured. There were many things they did not talk about, to maintain the peace, and uphold their family's honor. He did not question where they placed Mother after her illness. He understood it was for their own protection…if his uncle were to find out… but he was also too scared to ask for more lights. He couldn't break his silence--break his mother's darkness.

"I'm sorry…" Hisoka clasped one of those thin hands in his own, leaning forward to rest his head against the edge of the mattress. His eyes stung, like always when he touched her, because he was almost forgetting what it was like when she had been well. It scared him, how memories escaped him, leaving him with only emptiness. Sure their family had been far from perfect. His father and mother had never been in love with each other…but they had loved him, and the three had made a close family to block everything else out. There had been happiness despite the natural sorrows of being a Kurosaki, but now…now Hisoka felt so alone. Most of the time he wondered why their lives had been condemned to something so fearful and lonely. All he had left was his mother and father, and it seemed both were slipping away from him.

"I'll protect you. I promise. Mother please hang on." Clutching that hand tighter, Hisoka sighed into the soft blankets. Help was on the way. He felt that hope blinking to life again in his chest…somehow he had the feeling that something good was about to happen, something big. Tomorrow would _mean_ something.


	3. Chapter 2

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Tsuzuki time!! And of course I had to have Watari love…

**Chapter 2**

"WAAAH! Tatsumi that isn't fair!! MEANIE!" Tsuzuki, in full-blown puppy mode, clung desperately to the secretary's knees. "I waited all m-morning, a-and….WAAH!" He continued his blubbering, and missed the exasperated frown on Tatsumi's face. Tsuzuki had been acting more whipped than usual as of late, and the whole office knew why. Tsuzuki needed yet again, a new partner.

Proffering the Cinnabon in front of the kneeling man's face, Tatsumi said coldly, "perhaps if you hadn't been waiting for this, then you would have come to the meeting on time. After making everyone wait, the least you could do is share, isn't that right?" There was an evil glint to his glasses, that sent Tsuzuki to sulk in the corner.

After passing the small portions around to everyone, Tatsumi finally began the meeting. Tsuzuki's dejected attitude didn't improve much. "We were sent a case this morning. Although I know its too soon for a new partner to have been found by the department, everyone else is currently occupied with their own cases." Tatsumi gestured to Watari. "However, since Watari has just finished a case in his area, he agreed to partner with you for the duration of this one."

"Actually," Watari broke in with his usual chirpiness, "the case requires us to pose as a doctor and assistant! So, naturally, it makes sense for me to tag along. I've been reading up on it and everything!" Tatsumi quirked an eyebrow at being interrupted, but conceded.

Tsuzuki perked up a bit. Watari was one of his good friends, and he wouldn't mind a temporary break from the constant stream of rookies he usually had as partners. Lately it seemed, they were leaving faster and faster. He just couldn't understand why, or rather what, about him pushed them away. Perhaps Watari could help him…give him some pointers after working with him or something. At least he knew Watari would help him cheer up from the bad mood that had been hanging over his head like a small rain cloud.

"I would have suggested against the pairing considering how scatterbrained either of you are on your own…but perhaps together you can be a bit more _diligent_." Tatsumi, stressed the word, shooting both of them a warning look that made it clear that they'd better do their jobs or else.

"Oh, Tatsumi! You worry too much. I'll keep Tsuzuki in line," the blond said vivaciously as he slung an arm over Tsuzuki's shoulder.

"Coming from a man who has his own tendencies to go over budget, that isn't very comforting." Shifting his glasses and passing out the folders to the two, he continued, "regardless, this is your assignment. I will expect you to stick to your budget. You'll be teleporting to Kamakura, and traveling by normal means to the estate, as to not arouse suspicion. Details of your cover are in there with the case file, so review it before you leave tomorrow."

Glancing at the time on his wrist watch, the secretary seemed to think they were wasting too much of it. "That's all you'll need, so Tsuzuki if you would get back to work--I'm still waiting for at least a dozen of your files to be finished, and Watari--" The blond had been inching towards the door, hoping to escape notice. He wasn't so lucky. "If you wouldn't mind staying for a moment, I would like to discuss your latest expense report, something about a certain volatile chemical." Tsuzuki swore he could see a smile on the scientist's face even as he flinched, before turning around to head back to the table.

Shaking his head, Tsuzuki left the conference room, heading for the break room instead of his office, hoping there might be some donuts left.

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Tsuzuki had a hard time falling asleep that night. The wind was strong outside, howling through the sakura trees, so that petals sprayed pink against his bedroom window. His mind felt heavy like it was trying to reach some sort of conclusion, but of what, Tsuzuki wasn't sure. Before getting ready for bed, Tsuzuki had actually managed to read through the file for the case. It hadn't held much. It outlined their cover, and gave a brief summary of the family: names and ages. Nothing that would be much help to anyone.

There was nothing peculiar in the folder. A case for one Kurosaki Rui, but something seemed to be worrying in the back of Tsuzuki's mind. He'd reread the file several times trying to figure out what it might be, but finally, he'd given up. He needed to get to sleep or he wouldn't be able to drag himself out of bed in the morning.

But the wind was moaning, and in the dark, Tsuzuki squirmed uselessly on his futon. He couldn't get himself comfortable, and the blanket was already half twisted around his lap. It felt like something was turning in his stomach. The unease was palpable, making him sigh in frustration, and try to untangle himself. Flopping down onto his back, Tsuzuki ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it was just nerves over his recent loss of a partner--another partner. The last year or two, had been worse than usual.

He'd liked Asuka or should he say Masaki? The younger man had been nice, if only there hadn't been that whole ordeal with his cousin…well Tsuzuki couldn't help but 'drop' the summons. Of course there went another partner, as Asuka had to go back for retraining. Soon after, Tsuzuki had been introduced to another, a man that was actually older than Tsuzuki (in appearance), and the man seemed to take that as reason to boss the other around. Tsuzuki hadn't meant for the guy to get hurt during their first big case together, but really, who was stupid enough to stand in the way of Byakko when he was in a fight? The tiger rarely noticed where his huge paws were going… Tsuzuki wasn't too sad to see him go after being released from the infirmary.

Fukiri was a bit better, but not cut out for shinigami work. She cried like a baby when they were sent to retrieve a soul that had 'gotten lost', and of course that had made Tsuzuki upset, and then they were both crying. They only got back to Meifu because the soul had asked, clearly annoyed, 'why they weren't going yet,' and, 'he wasn't getting any younger.' Tsuzuki had wanted to point out that he wasn't getting older either.

A few more came after that, but all so quick that they were hardly worth noting. Somehow, no matter how nice Tsuzuki was, or how hard he tried to make friends, all his partners found some reason to leave him. He was starting to think he was cursed. Then again, Tsuzuki thought wryly, _this could just be another form of my punishment. They shouldn't be forced to stay with someone like me…_

Tsuzuki ignored the pain that throbbed in his chest, and rolled over onto his side, clutching his blankets around him like a lost child. It hurt to be alone. Seventy-three years as a shinigami, and he had no one. His stomach clenched further, and Tsuzuki pressed his face into his pillow, trying to fight the urge to cry. It wouldn't do to get upset now, because in a few hours, Watari would be on his doorstep expecting a partner, someone who was actually pulled together. No one wanted to see him upset.

Sighing deeply, Tsuzuki at last managed to close his eyes and drift to sleep.

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Tsuzuki felt warm and safe, and a smile spread over his lips. From his bed in the hotel room, he could see the other twin bed, separated from his by only a night stand with a lamp. His eyes keenly settled on the small head peeking out of the mound of blankets. Even with his back turned, Tsuzuki new his partner's face would be the serene one of sleep.

The case had been hard, but the other was still with him, had promised to always stay with him, and it made him happier than he could ever express. Tsuzuki ached to get out of his own bed and walk around to the other side of the room, where he could watch that sleeping face. He did it often if he knew he could get away with it. It somehow calmed him.

Biting his lip in a worrying fashion, Tsuzuki sat up silently, his blankets falling to his waist. He could feel the warmth in his chest; the protective caring that he had no way of expressing. It was a deep feeling that urged him. Carefully swinging his legs to the ground, Tsuzuki stood up. He had to see his partners face. He had to know_…who…_

His feet padded silently on the carpet, and he began to round the end of the other's bed. In a moment he'd see. He'd know who it was that was responsible for this warmth in his chest--for his smile. The person he lived for, because he was _needed_. He knew_… If he could just see…_

He was on the other side, but his partner's face was buried in the blankets as well, only his hair visible. Tsuzuki's fingers curled impatiently around the comforter's edge, ready to pull back the blankets, but he'd barely touched the soft cotton, when a rough hand shook his shoulder.

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"Tsuzuki! Hey!! It's morning sleeping beauty!" The loud voice was entirely too close to his ear, and Tsuzuki groaned in complaint. He was still groggy, and rolled over, intent on falling back asleep. He'd been so close… "Nuh uh. You're not getting away that easy!" A wet finger suddenly probed Tsuzuki's ear, shocking the man into a completely alert state.

"Ahhhh! Watari that's gross!" Tsuzuki rubbed his ear in his palm, making a face at its wetness. Watari's spit was not a pleasant thing to wake-up to in the morning.

"That's what you get for sleeping in when we have an important case. I knocked on the door forever, and when you didn't answer I just teleported in. Good thing too, because you were stuck in dreamland, my friend." Watari waggled his finger in disapproval, but was still smiling in his jovial manner.

Tsuzuki rubbed his eyes, and recalled the dream he'd been having. It had felt…so nice. "I was…having a really weird dream." Tsuzuki looked up to see the curious raise of Watari's eyebrows. Taking the queue, Tsuzuki expounded, "I was in this hotel, and there was this other person there, and--" Tsuzuki stopped suddenly at the mischievous grin spreading over the scientist's face.

"Really Tsuzuki, I'm sorry I woke you from such a…'pleasant' dream. But do tell me all the details, you naughty boy." Tsuzuki's frown deepened, and suddenly he didn't want to share the dream with anyone. It would just make him look like an idiot anyway.

"It wasn't like that!" He didn't recognize the hotel room, but after working for over seventy years, they all started to look the same. It wasn't the room, or the place he cared about anyway. _His_ partner. He'd been so drawn to the other bed, like he wanted to stand over the other protectively until morning, making sure they weren't so much as touched by nightmares. His chest had pounded with that undeniable urge, and he had wanted to see the other's face. So peaceful…because it made him happy. If only he could have had a few minutes longer…so he could have seen the face of the mysterious person…To know that maybe that feeling could be _real_. To not be alone…

"Tsuzuki?" Watari asked gently. Tsuzuki suddenly became aware that he'd been silent for longer than he should have, and the expression on his face must have been giving him away. He tried to push the dream back somewhere safe in his mind, but it was rather hard to force a smile back to his lips. "Do you want to talk about it?" Watari queried much more seriously this time.

"No, It's fine," Tsuzuki gave him a big smile and hopped out of bed. "Let's get breakfast!" Watari eyed his friend carefully before deciding not to push it.

"I'll be in the kitchen, get dressed, and we'll be on our way." Watari left the room with a swirl of blond hair.

Tsuzuki tried to smooth out his own, but it decided it wanted to stick up where it'd been lying on his pillow. Searching the floor, he spotted his rumpled suit, and changed quickly. His tie took a bit longer to hunt down, somehow finding its way under his dresser. After he was dressed, Tsuzuki ran his hands quickly over the wrinkled fabric. There weren't any mirrors in his room to check his appearance, but then again, Tsuzuki never really liked looking at his reflection. Grabbing the small away-bag he'd packed the previous night, he headed for the kitchen. Somehow, even while he tried to not think about the dream, the feeling still lingered, like an unanswered question.

"Ready?" Watari asked. He was feeding 003 an owl treat, and only now did he realize that he must be bringing her, and Tsuzuki supposed he hadn't really thought about that. Oh well, the two hardly ever separated, so it made sense in a way.

"Yeah, one moment." Tsuzuki bent over by the door, and started putting his shoes on. Watari already had his on. He was wearing his usual black pants and turtle neck, and had traded his lab coat for a knee length jacket. It was a deep forest green, fitted, and it suited him somehow. He picked up his two bags, one similar to Tsuzuki's, and the other one clanking. Tsuzuki supposed it must have medical supplies in it. Over one shoulder, Watari had his laptop bag snuggly in place.

"Great," he said as they walked out of his flat. "Tatsumi gave us a map." Watari pulled out the paper and pointed. "I don't know the area so let's go in spirit form in case we teleport in somewhere that's conspicuous. The train station would be a good place, because Kamakura is too big to take on by foot. Well have to hop on a bus." (1)

Tsuzuki nodded and grinned. "Then we eat breakfast?"

"Of course. Tatsumi was his usual cheapskate self, but we're posing as private doctors so…we shouldn't have to worry about accommodations." He waved the gift card in his hand like it was the key to Nirvana. "I was thinking…we might stop at one of the tea houses and enjoy a good meal of tororoten. (2) Kamakura is famous for it." Tsuzuki was salivating at the thought.

"Watari, I think I love you!!"

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Feeling extremely content, that is, his belly now full, Tsuzuki sat on the train station bench, waiting for Watari to come back from the restroom. So far the mission was off to a good start. Breakfast was enjoyed by the two gluttons, and the conversation mostly settled around various types of cuisine. It was a discussion only two food-lovers could really maintain.

It was nice to spend some time with one of his closer friends. Tsuzuki smiled as Watari bounded over the platform towards him. "We better get moving, or we'll miss our bus. According to the file, we need to head to East Kamakura. Its pretty remote." (3) Standing up, Tsuzuki followed Watari off the platform.

The bus ride was a rather long one, and Tsuzuki kept falling in and out of a dozing state as he watched the city slip into country scenery. He hadn't slept much the previous night, and it was hard to stay awake. He didn't dream any more of that hotel room, but staring out the bus window, his thoughts wandered there frequently. Watari had been doodling most of the trip, showing off his work to the small owl on his shoulder.

It would be rounding on lunch by the time they got there, but Tsuzuki was already hungry again. Receiving a poke in the shoulder, he turned to the blond. "Hey, what's with the face?"

Tsuzuki chuckled; people weren't used to him thinking silently. They always assumed something was wrong. Tsuzuki wasn't sure if there was. "Nothing, I was just thinking. That's all."

"About what?" Watari asked calmly.

"I need a new partner," Tsuzuki said like this answered everything.

"Well, that's not all that new. You just have to find the right one. Look at me, I don't even have a partner. I usually just go with Gushoshin." Watari continued to doodle something that looked like a cat with roller-skates.

"What if there isn't a right one? What if it's me?" It wasn't really a question, but more of a statement about what he was really thinking. It was him. He drove them away. There would be no 'right one' to finally stay where all the rest had left. Seventy-three years of service…and he doubted anything would change.

Watari frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think you're so bad. You just have horrible luck…and you're too kind. You take everyone to heart."

Tsuzuki took his gaze away from the window and gave Watari a startled look. "What do you mean?"

Watari chuckled fondly. "Oh, just that you care about everyone you meet. You want to protect them. Someone who gives their heart so easily is bound to get hurt. Some people just can't see how self-less you are, and take it for granted. I'm sure there will be a time when there is a person who appreciates that about you, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki gave a wane smile. "Yeah, maybe." He didn't want to ponder too much on his friend's words. They came too close to that desperate need he'd felt during his dream; it was something he'd had in his grasps but only for that short time. Somehow he doubted he'd ever find that person. After all, who would need him?

Tsuzuki spent the rest of the trip in silence.

AN: at the sentence, "Watari's spit was not a pleasant thing to wake-up to in the morning." I almost thought, that depends on just who he's sharing his spit with. LOL I could imagine Tatsumi wouldn't mind swapping spit with him in the morning, but then again that's just the perv in me.

(1) Unlike how the manga depicts Kamakura City, it is actually a huge tourist attraction, and very populated. It is in fact too large to travel though on foot, but many of the buses can be taken from the train station.

(2) Tororoten are sweet cold noodles. There are a lot of famous teahouses in Kamakura, and this is a specialty.

(3) So this is a complete guess on my part. East Kamakura just seemed the most remote part of the city, and less of a tourist destination. A lot of the buildings are older, and it was a better match for the manga's description.


	4. Chapter 3

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Finally, the meeting. I just want to say that any deviancy from how things are in the manga can be attribute to how things changed with the 'wish'.

**Chapter 3**

Hisoka woke-up early the next day, blinking at the ceiling for a few moments, as if trying to recall something he'd forgotten. But the dream that had seemed so important while asleep, slipped away like sand through his fingers. Shaking slumber from his frame, he set about cleaning up his futon, and changing into his hakama for training.

Taking the kerosene lamp from his bedside table, he headed out for his morning visit to his mother, as usual. The halls in the main house already had their lights on, only the servants awake at this hour. Breakfast was probably being cooked at that very moment. By the time he was done training, it would be ready to serve.

The cell door creaked open, and Hisoka muttered a short prayer under his breath before entering. Taking care to light all the lamps, he sat down on his usual chair, and swept the hair back from his mother's face. "See, I came on time today, just as I promised." When Hisoka took her hand, it was cold and it didn't grip back, but he was accustomed to this by now. It used to scare him, but he'd gotten past the ache it caused in his stomach.

Clearing his throat, he began a light conversation. Even if she wasn't answering, he liked to think she could at least hear him. "After I am done training today, I thought I would go to the graveyard. Some of the summer flowers are really lovely…and…I thought I should bring some there. Father as been visiting the gravesite a lot lately. I think he fears…I'm not sure. He's been so sick lately, that I think wants to repent. Its not his fault, but you know him…"

Hisoka shook his bangs from his face. "I could bring some flowers here too. Its been so long since you've been to the garden…but I've made sure its kept just how you last saw it. Even the cherry blossoms are in bloom. I wish you could see… I'll be sure to bring the flowers." Hisoka tried not to think about how the flowers would wilt in the darkness of her room, the life being sucked away just as it had been from this woman.

"I was dreaming again last night," he continued on a new string of thought, "but it is just like always. I think it must be something important, because I know it's of the same thing…but I can never quite recall…" The hand in his clenched slightly, and Hisoka leaned over the bed to look at his mother's face. Her eyes were still unfocused, but he smiled anyway. She was listening.

"Do you remember the story you told me about dreams?" Hisoka smile fondly, the story of O-Tei coming to mind. (1) The tale was of a man and women deeply in love, betrothed to get married, but on the year of wedding, O-Tei became ill. Before dying she promised to the man that she would be reborn, and that they would find each other again. His mother had always been a romantic, dreaming of something she never quite had for herself. "Do you still think my dreams are of my own O-Tei? Or am I the waiting spirit, and my very own Nagao Chosei will come to find me?" Hisoka chuckled. She had told him the story when he was very young, saying that perhaps his strange dreams were of his previous life. His father had never been very pleased by this.

"I got some new books last time I went to the city. Perhaps we can start one tomorrow. It's been a while since I've read to you." Hisoka smiled wistfully. "But no romance, I don't get that stuff." Bending over his mother yet again, he kissed her gently on the cheek. "I'll come back tonight."

((insert break))

Enjoying the sun against his skin, and even more the sakura scented air, Hisoka meandered through the garden, picking flowers here or there. He was creating two bouquets in his hand. One for the grave, and one for Mother.

Breakfast had been mostly silent, his father not speaking as much as he used to. Hisoka frowned. It was almost like he was barely himself anymore, but that thought didn't bare thinking about. What had really bothered him, was that he'd been wearing the scarf around his eyes again. It wasn't that the servants didn't know just what his eyes looked like now, and Hisoka had been convincing enough to get his father to not wear the thing around the estate. Even changed, he liked to see his father's gaze, and know he wasn't afraid to show it.

He hadn't worn the scarf at all the last month since Dr. Hazama's death, but now…Hisoka supposed it was because the new doctors would be arriving, but still, it saddened him somehow.

Hisoka was now wearing a silver-green yukata, of a plain pattern, something he preferred, and the summer breeze tugged at the hem playfully. Outside he could breathe, while the air of the main house had long since turned oppressive. Revolving lightly under the late morning sun, he took in the warmth and the silence, a small placating smile on his lips. It was hard to find moments like these when he was happy. They were usually tainted with some other emotion, like anger, worry, or weariness, but today…

Something about today felt wonderfully free.

Collecting the last of the flowers he wanted, he walked down the path that led to the small graveyard at the edge of the estate. He had another family member to visit.

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Hisoka had the strange notion he must have fallen asleep. The sun wasn't much higher in the sky than when he'd been picking the flowers, no later than noon. He'd placed the flowers on the grave, and then leaned against the tree that grew just besides it. The sun had been warm and lulling as he'd talked quietly to the grave marker. He hadn't felt himself falling asleep, but it was obvious now.

As a rarity, he'd actually had a dream he could remember. Hisoka burst into light laughter, something he seldom did. The dream after all, hadn't been about anything useful. Leave it to him to only remember the weird ones. In his dream there had been a cupcake and a slice of apple pie, and they had danced in circles, singing. Hisoka had told them he didn't particularly like sweets, and then they had rushed him, frosting and filling spilling onto the floor.

"But we taste so good!" They had said in a depraved sing-song voice. Hisoka had then hit them with a large book and told them to go back to work.

The whole thing made no sense…_maybe I'm slipping_, Hisoka thought wonderingly.

Standing up, he brushed sakura petals from his lap. They all seemed to be falling now, as spring waned into summer. Most of the lawns and paths were covered in swaths of pink. Hisoka found the sakura comforting in a way, that is except for that one single sakura.

Hisoka glanced at the hill in the distance, where atop perched one of the older sakura trees of the property. It was beautiful even from a distance…but from the time he was a child he'd never felt right about that sakura. Its innocence seemed false to him, like something lurked there ready to grab him, but knowing his own unease, it was easy enough to avoid that certain tree.

Taking to the path again, he ascended back up to the main house, the second bouquet in his hands. Even the distraction of the clear air and that dream couldn't stop him from noticing the strange feeling that crept along his arms. Turning his head, he squinted his eyes towards the front gate.

Two men were standing there, talking with what looked like one of the housemaids, although from here, Hisoka couldn't tell who. Turning that direction instead of towards his mother's cell of a room, he hurried his pace. The feeling was definitely there… Hisoka, like all descendants of the original Kurosaki, who fought the epic battle that won his family honor, had some minor spiritual awareness. It wasn't much, but it was greater than his father's, now dull from his illness, and Hisoka listened to it often.

His father disapproved of relying on such a thing, but Hisoka found it useful, like a kind of alarm system. Now as he approached the front gates, it whispered to him softly, but not of dangers. Something else…These men brought something else.

Coming in from the side, he could see them long before they saw him. The maid was Miya, and she was greeting the man with long blond hair enthusiastically. The other man, dressed in all black, was listening, his brunette hair much shorter than the other's. One must be the doctor, and the other his assistant, Hisoka thought quickly. Feeling foolish to be holding a bunch of flowers, he stopped and cleared his throat. It was his responsibility after all to invite them to the Kurosaki estate.

The first one to turn was the tall brunette, and Hisoka opened his mouth to great him, but seemed to freeze. Looking back at him, were two very warm amethyst eyes.

AN: Kinda short…Hisoka is harder to write because he hardly interacts with anyone! Stupid loner!! Hopefully now that the two are in the same place, the chapter lengths can be more consistent.

(1) The tale of O-Tei is a true story From Lafcadio Hearn's classic _Kwaidan_, 1904. The man Nagao Chosei and O-Tei are betrothed. She does die of illness, and promises to meet him again. Later in Nagao's life, after his wife and child die, he journey's and meets a women than looks just like O-Tei. Then she tells him about their promise, although she can't remember it after their conversation. And the two get married…and live happily ever after. Want a better description (since mine is pretty crappy) google it.


	5. Chapter 4

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: teehee. That's all I can say.

**Chapter 4**

Finding the actual Kurosaki estate had been a bit of work. Tsuzuki had thought once they got off the bus, that it couldn't be that hard to find, but apparently rural areas weren't big on road signs. They had had to ask a few villagers the way as they walked, all of which seemed ecstatic to point out the correct roads.

That is, once they realized they were the doctor team sent for. It appeared, by how they were nearly worshipped by everyone they met, that the Kurosaki's must be a well-loved family in the area. They had all begged them to take care of Lady Rui. _Take care of…_, Tsuzuki thought darkly. The case wasn't specific and Tsuzuki didn't know if they would be protecting or taking Rui's life. In a way, it was sad that everyone saw them as hope when they could very well be the ones to end her life.

"Hey, is that it up ahead?" Watari pointed through a break in the trees. Ahead on their path was the entrance, and further up, a large house. Drawing around the bend, Tsuzuki could see it better. It wasn't just a house…He could feel his jaw dropping. He wasn't sure what he was expecting…but the place was huge, composed of a larger main house, and a few smaller buildings, not all visible from the main entrance they were approaching.

"Watari, do you think this is such a good idea? I don't think I've ever been in such a…they've got to be rich!" His eyes were wide as he tried to take in the opulence. It was clear the buildings were old, probably the original architecture. The people would surely be very proper, and Tsuzuki knew he didn't know much in the way of edicit. He had a very bad feeling it wouldn't take long to make a fool of himself.

"I'm sure it won't be so bad…think about how good the food must be! They probably have their own chief and everything!" Watari beamed, always on the brighter side of things.

"I'll just let you do the talking…," Tsuzuki offered.

"Of course! I'm the doctor after all. You're just a lowly assistant," Watari teased.

The front gate was closed, but there was no lock, so the two stopped there and looked at each other. "Are we just supposed to enter? …Or do we wait for someone to notice us?" Tsuzuki shuffled his feet.

"Well it's not like we can knock way out here! They may never notice us. I think we should walk up to the front door."

"Are you sure, what if they get angry at us for trespassing or something?" Tsuzuki turned to face Watari, a hand on his hip. "I don't want to get yelled at!"

"It would be impolite for them to yell at us. We are invited after all."

"But…but…"

"AH! You must be the new doctor!!" a feminine voice nearly squealed on the other side of the gate. Looking up from their argument they realized a young women was walking hurriedly up to the gate. She wore a traditional yukata, and geta. Although homely looking, her smile was genuine, and helped Tsuzuki to relax.

Watari smiled. "Hello, we weren't sure if we should just walk in."

The girl, swung the gate open, and bowed deeply. "My name is Miya, I'm most sorry you had to wait. Your arrival has been very much anticipated."

Inclining their heads in return, Watari spoke up for them, "this is my assistant, Tsuzuki Asato, and I'm Watari Yutaka, the doctor." Tsuzuki smiled at her at his indication, and then Watari continued, "we didn't get much information before coming here, so if you'll forgive us for being a little shocked when we found the directions led to such a grand estate."

"Ah, yes! The Kurosaki lineage goes back seventeen generations. This is a historical site, and carried under much esteem by the city."

Tsuzuki was trying to pay attention to the conversation, but his eyes were drawn up to the large structure with its sweeping lines, and dark woods. It was beautiful he mused. A house worthy of noble lineage. We wondered just what the master of the house would be like. He would probably be a man that always stood straight, and commanded respect. His face would be firm and commanding, perhaps with the hard eyes that the wealthy often had, where they looked politely down at everything. They would have a strong traditional Japanese upbringing. Probably all dark haired… Tsuzuki could already see a picture forming in his mind.

A soft cough to his left drew his attention immediately. He was met by a pair of startling green eyes. Tsuzuki wasn't sure if he'd ever seen eyes quite like these. They were large, filling up that pale face. The hue was cold, their set strong, but with long dark lashes. Strikingly beautiful, Tsuzuki thought. But they also gave an eerie feeling of probing, like they could see deep into him, where only his inner most thoughts lay. Something about those eyes called to him.

They stood there staring at each other for nearly a minute, unhearing of Miya's introduction, or soft query when neither seemed to be paying attention. "…Young master?"

The boy, or young man, Tsuzuki couldn't quite be sure from such a slight build, blinked back to awareness. He turned his head to look at the girl, and Tsuzuki finally came back to himself. The young man was shorter than him, about 5' 11", and slim. His short blonde hair was a contradiction to the image Tsuzuki had summoned, his fine strands catching the light and falling over that pale face. Those eyes…they were different too, and the green of his yukata only seemed to make them shine brighter.

Wait…young master? Feeling distinctly embarrassed, he couldn't stop the blush that spread over his face. This is exactly kind of situation he had been afraid of…but the boy seemed to be blushing too, although he was acting like the tense moment hadn't happened at all.

"Kurosaki Hisoka," he said in a light voice that reminded Tsuzuki of the wind. "Welcome to the Kurosaki Estate." He bowed, his spine bending with ease, before straightening in one fluid movement. This was the air of a truly cultured person.

Miya introduced the two, each bowing after she pointed out their names. Hisoka followed the introductions with his bright gaze, and again it stilled on Tsuzuki's a moment longer than what was needed. Tsuzuki couldn't help it. There was something so familiar about the boy's face…in fact even his attitude and how he stood and talked. _I'm sure I've seen him before… _"Have we met before?" he blurted nearly wincing at how out of place the question sounded.

The boy locked eyes with him again, his brow furrowing for a moment, like he himself was trying to place the brunette's face. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe that is possible. I've never traveled beyond the city."

He was young too, eighteen if he remembered from the file correctly. The possibility was slim…and then there was the fact that Tsuzuki had never been to Kamakura. Putting on a false smile, he tried to shake off the feeling of Deja vu.

Turning back to Watari, Hisoka began to speak again, "Sensei, thank you for coming. If you'll come up to the house with me, Miya will take your bags. I'd like to introduce you to my father."

The house was even more impressive from the inside, as they entered the large entry. Scrolls hung on the walls, and opulent oriental rugs covered the floors. Inside they paused, taking off their shoes and exchanging them for indoor slippers. Hisoka continued with the tour, and brought them to a small sitting room. The furniture, though works of art, weren't all that comfortable in Tsuzuki's opinion. Watari seemed to be taking everything in with the same awe he felt.

"One moment please," Hisoka excused, walking to the door. There he conferred with another servant. The woman bowed and left. Hisoka returned to a seat in front of them, sizing them up, but in a polite manner, if there was such a thing.

Seconds later the same woman servant returned with a tray of tea, "The Master will be along shortly," she chimed. She turned to walk away, but Hisoka stopped her with a movement of his hand.

"Would you mind putting these in some water? I wanted to put them in Mother's room." The woman nodded with a smile, and accepted the small bunch of flowers, Tsuzuki only now realized, he must have been carrying the whole time. Something about how polite the boy was even with the servant, and the fact that he'd been picking flowers for his mother, brought a warm smile to his lips.

As the woman left with the flowers, Miya returned, her hands carefully guiding a man into the room. He was tall and built more strongly than his son. His hair was also blond, much longer in the front, but the first thing Tsuzuki noticed, was the white strip of fabric tied around the man's eyes. Also, as the man was settled into the seat across from him, he saw the bandages covering his hands.

Bowing politely, they went through another round of introductions. The man's voice was deeper than Hisoka's but of the same fine quality that was his upbringing. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Excuse me, it is true that we received and accepted your summons for a doctor, but we know very little about the patient. If there are any files--" Watari stopped as Nagare, Hisoka's father, shook his head firmly.

"I am afraid there are no files. After Dr. Hazama's death, they went missing." Tsuzuki glanced over to Hisoka to see that the boy was looking down at his lap. Tsuzuki stored this bit of information away for later use. It was clear there was more to the story than this.

"And the patient?" Watari asked calmly, trying to gather more information.

"If you would like to see for yourself, I believe it would be easier that way," Nagare suggested softly.

The boy was already rising, stepping to his father's side to aid him incase he needed it, but it was apparent that the man was familiar enough with the layout, to know where he was going. As they stepped into the hallway, the servant from before stopped them briefly to hand Hisoka the flowers he'd picked, now in a glass vase. "Thank you," he whispered. Nagare gave no indication of noticing his son's interruption of their walk.

The main house was large, and richly decorated, something that distracted Tsuzuki until he noticed they were being lead into another building, suddenly lacking in the way of electrical lights. A sort of cold was in the air--unfriendly--and Tsuzuki shivered slightly. He and Watari exchanged looks.

"You'll have to promise me something doctor," Nagare asked calmly, "you must not speak about what you see in this house, or you will fall to the house's curse." They exchanged looks yet again, but said nothing. What would one say to that?

Hisoka stepped ahead of them, pulling a key from his collar, and unlocked the lock to an iron door in the wall ahead. It groaned in protest as he pushed it open. They followed closely, thrown into darkness. Tsuzuki could hear movement close by and the crack of flint being struck.

"Ow!" Watari complained apparently tripping over something. "What is…?"

Another spark lit the air, and then a lamp burned brightly, illuminating the bed in the center of the room. "AAAAHHHH!" Watari yelped, taking a few steps back, as if shocked with a high-voltage wire.

"Wa-Doctor!" Tsuzuki called, stepping up, and stilling in his own shock. The woman in the bed looked more dead than alive. Her eyes were flown open and unblinking, much too large for their sockets. Her inky black hair spread over the pillow like snakes. Only the slight rise and fall of her chest with shallow breathing showed that she had life.

Hisoka stepped past them, frowning at their response, and set the vase on the small table near the bed. Her skin was even paler than his, stretched impossibly thin over bones…and the large bump that rose under the covers…her stomach… "Is she…?" Tsuzuki asked, remembering what that particular type of bump usually meant.

"Yes, my wife is with child," Nagare said, his voice like a chill down Tsuzuki's spine. This place really did freak him out, and he couldn't wait to get out of there.

"S-shouldn't she be in a hospital?" Watari asked, just now getting over his shock.

"That would be impossible, you see, the child isn't mine."

Hisoka was unimaginably still at his father's side, his eyes cast low, giving no indication of even listening.

"Regardless, in this condition, the normal thing to do--"

"Doctor, would you say, that a pregnancy that has lasted two years, is normal?"


	6. Chapter 5

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: wanna pocky? I've just been typing like a fiend.

**Chapter 5**

Hisoka felt foolish and rude for having been caught staring, hardly the impression he wanted the newly arrived men to have of the Kurosaki house. Trying to get back on track, he kept a close watch on his politeness, but it was just so hard. He had to fight the urge to just stop and stare at the man named Tsuzuki.

It was that purple-eyed stare that caught him unaware. He'd, in all his life, never seen a person with such an eye color. He hardly believed it, and had to keep a firm control not to turn and keep rechecking that he hadn't been hallucinating. And something about them…the way they looked at him, felt so familiar.

Which was stupid, he knew, because he had never traveled much in his life, and the doctor had been sent for, from another city, or so he'd been told. The chances proved to him that he was just imagining things. He knew they hadn't met before…but that feeling remained, and he was surprised when the man voiced his own thoughts.

But control was back now, standing in his mother's room, listening as his father explained the situation. He hated how it sounded; how it looked. He knew what they must think about them for where they kept his mother--the distaste. The shame burned deep in his stomach.

He knew how horrible his family must look to them. It was in how the blond doctor screamed in terror at the sight of his mother, and the odd looks at his father's covered eyes. It all spoke of how less than perfect they were--that behind closed doors they were nothing more than cursed mongrels. Hisoka kept his eyes trained on the dark floor.

If it was up to him…Hisoka would have sent his mother to the hospital, his father too, and he would have had electricity installed into this wing of the house. He would have decorated the room with bright colors, and had a radio to play the classical music his mother loved so much. If it were him, he wouldn't be afraid of his uncle, or how their family looked. If it were him, he would make his father love his mother like she loved him, and he would only care that they were all happy.

Somehow the room felt rather small to him all of a sudden.

"Not yours then who--?" The assistant was cut off by the glare the doctor shot him. Hisoka watched under low lashes.

"Unless you wish to examine her, then perhaps we can continue this discussion back in the sitting room." Nagare waited for them to reply, seemingly oblivious of their reactions. Only Hisoka thought, it must be that he was just much stronger than himself.

"I don't have my bag with me. Perhaps I could examine her later?"

"Of course."

Hisoka allowed the others walk out ahead of him, so he could turn and look back at his mother. Leaning forward quickly he whispered to her, "see, I brought the flowers just like I promised, and the doctor has come too. Please hang on." Squeezing her hand briefly, he turned to follow the group. He was shocked when he realized the assistant had strayed behind to watch him, and must have just witnessed his swift words. Feeling himself blush again, he hurried to blow out the lantern.

"Follow me, it's easy to get lost in this house," he warned, feeling strange to be alone with the man. His father must have already moved ahead to the sitting room.

"You know, I think she was happy that you brought her flowers." Hisoka's head jerked to look at him incredulously, his anger rising, thinking that the man would dare be sarcastic about something like that. His eyes widened when he saw the sincere smile on the assistant's face. He was looking at him with warm eyes.

"Sensei--"

"Please call me Tsuzuki. Sensei feels kinda weird to me." He laughed, walking ahead for a moment.

"You're going the wrong way," Hisoka said trying not to laugh. The taller man glanced around and then quickly turned back to follow him.

"What should I call you?" he asked. "Can I call you Hisoka?" He was beaming again, that kind smile…that was understanding somehow.

"We've only just met. It would be inappropriate for such--" Tsuzuki looked at him again, scratching his head.

"I'm sorry. I'm not very good at this, and Hisoka just sounded right." Hisoka stared at him in confusion. He'd never met someone like this before. He was so…strange. _Who calls someone they only just met by their first name? _But then again, looking from his wrinkled suit, to his wild hair, it was obvious that Tsuzuki wasn't lying about not being used to the situation. Hisoka thought it odd that a man assisting a private doctor…wouldn't be used to it by now.

"I--" Hisoka swallowed. "I don't mind…" Shaking his head, he blushed. "Just not around Father…" Walking quickly to be the lead, he didn't want to see the reaction to what he'd said. He'd always been rather self-conscious about people's reactions to him.

Besides, they were already back at the sitting room, and Hisoka wasn't sure what to make of the new doctors. They certainly weren't like Dr. Hazama, the old man that kept to himself.

His father looked up, although blindfolded, when his son entered with the assistant. "I got lost," the amethyst-eyed man covered for him, as he sat next to the doctor. Watari blinked in annoyed amazement at the others lack of sense of direction.

Sitting back by his father's side, Hisoka tried not to wonder too much over the man's actions. He was torn between being severely irritated and liking him.

qpqpqpqpqp

After showing the two guests to their rooms, Hisoka was relieved to be alone again. He didn't like to have to focus on being perfectly polite, and his father would be judging how he carried himself. He was after all, going to be the next head of house, and he had to serve the name rightly. It was an annoying burden to uphold.

As soon as he could escape, he did, going outside where the sun was shining merrily. Lunch was probably being served now, but it was usually served to each individual room unlike breakfast and dinner, and Hisoka didn't feel very hungry at the moment.

Walking without a destination, Hisoka pondered over the last hour and a half. Mostly about that man. Just looking at him made Hisoka feel weird, uncomfortable,…but not in a bad way, or at least he didn't think it was. It was like a feeling of recognition, without there really being any, and he had to keep reminding himself to not act overly friendly, when for some reason that felt more natural than detached politeness.

Glancing around to make sure he was really alone, he gave an undignified flop down onto nearest pile of sakura petals. They billowed up around him and then fell, snowing pink for the next minute or two. Relaxing on his back, he closed his eyes and began to hum a song his mother used to sing.

AN: sorry it is so short… (the chapters do get longer).


	7. Chapter 6

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Not much to say, except I love Tsuzuki.

**Chapter 6**

Watari flopped down on his futon, blond curls fanning around his head, and spilling over his face. Spitting a few strands out of his mouth, he inquired, "so what do you think?"

Tsuzuki sat down on his own futon, thinking for a moment. "Well they are definitely weird. That whole curse thing…They must not want their family's dirty little secrets to be exposed." Tsuzuki looked around the guest room they'd been given. It was sparse, but the furniture was still beautifully carved, and the wall hangings just as old.

"Some secrets too. A love child with someone…two-year pregnancy…that definitely has the potential to ruin a reputation. Must be why they have her locked away in a cell. A little creepy actually." Watari chuckled as a ball of feather zoomed down on top of his face. "Oh, hey there girl, I was wondering where you had gone off too."

"I noticed that too. The room didn't even have any lights. It's like they're hiding her away or something." Tsuzuki sighed.

"Well, I agreed to examine her before dinner. I'd like to get a look at Nagare's eyes too. Illness seems prominent in the family." Watari sat-up, 003 tumbling into his lap. "I guess I better get more intimate with gynecology. Never thought I'd have an opportunity like this!" the scientist burst, reaching for his laptop.

"Nagare said Dr. Hazama died in an accident, but I think it's a little too coincidental that his notes went missing afterwards. I'm thinking foul play." Tsuzuki loosened his tie, laying down on his bed properly.

"It's worth looking into." Watari glanced sideways again at his partner, eyes narrowing slightly. "What do you think of the younger master of the house?" It was a weighted question if Tsuzuki ever heard one.

"He seems to care more about Rui than his father," Tsuzuki answered simply.

Watari began typing on his computer, acting like the conversation was merely a casual aside. "What about earlier? The tension between you two could be cut with a knife."

Tsuzuki stiffened. He didn't really know how to explain that strange feeling of familiarity, or what had first gone through his head upon seeing that emerald stare. He'd only make a fool of himself. He was considering a way to change the subject when there was a light tap on the door. "Yes?"

The door slid open to reveal Miya, holding two trays of lunch. "You must be hungry from your travels. I hope this is to your liking." Carefully she set the trays down. Tsuzuki stared at his, salivating. The next moment he was diving in without concern for the food flecking his cheeks.

"Thank 'ou," he uttered, his mouth full.

Watari set down his laptop and turned to Miya. "Can I ask you something?" he asked casually, picking up his tray but not beginning to eat just yet.

"I'll answer if I can," she stated.

"Is there a reason for the patients…housing?"

Miya seemed to blush in embarrassment. "Please don't judge the master. He loves the mistress very much. It's for her own good, because you see, there is a bit of family tension between the master and his elder brother. If he were to find out about the Mistress's condition…" Miya sighed, "they take good care of her, especially the Mistress' son. He spends more time with her than is healthy for a boy his age. That is why we've been waiting so patiently for a doctor. Please help lady Rui!" she begged.

Tsuzuki swallowed before speaking this time. "What about the curse that the Master mentioned?"

Miya blanched. "We do not speak of it. Only those of the household must be burdened. Please, it is no concern to houseguests. Don't go into the matter too much. I'm afraid Dr. Hazama--" Miya swallowed, realizing she had said too much. Forcing a polite smile, she bowed. "Take care of Lady Rui, so Young Master will not have to worry any longer."

Quickly, as if she were afraid they'd ask more questions, she took her leave. Tsuzuki blinked at the door for a moment, processing what was just said. "Family tension huh?" Taking another huge bite of food he closed his eyes and hummed with pleasure, "mm! Watari this food is wonderful! Let's stay forever!"

Digging into his own lunch, Watari let 003 pick off his plate. "While I examine Rui, try to get some more information from the son. From what Miya said, he spends the most time with Rui, and he seems to be taken with you. Maybe you can get him to spill some of his family's secrets."

Tsuzuki choked on the food in his mouth. "Wah, Watari?" he sputtered.

"Come on Tsuzuki! You couldn't have gotten lost. You were right behind me! What did you two talk about?" Watari asked.

"He brought his mother flowers… I was just being friendly." Tsuzuki said defensively, although he wasn't quite sure what he had done wrong, if anything. He just had the strange feeling he was being accused of something.

"Well, while you were dawdling, I was talking to Nagare," Watari said matter-of- fact.

"He's scary," Tsuzuki whined. "He's so stiff, and he talks so straight-faced. You'd think he's a statue!" Tsuzuki exclaimed.

"Really?" Watari thought out loud. "He kinda reminded me of Tatsumi." Tsuzuki gaped. "Well then," Watari continued in a comical tone, "you take the kid, and I'll deal with Nagare. We'll do the exam tonight, poke around a little, and see what we can come up with!"

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Tsuzuki followed Watari out to what he equated to a jail cell. Hisoka was already waiting for them, the door unlocked. His father was nowhere in sight. "Will the master of the house be joining us?" Watari asked casually, walking into the room.

"My uncle has come for a…visit. He will be preoccupied for a time. You can just refer everything through me." Tsuzuki was surprised to see how much brighter the room was than earlier. Hisoka had brought extra lamps, and they lit up the room enough that he could see more than just the bed in the center.

The walls were covered by hanging bolts of fabric, with intricate patterns, probably to cover the iron sheeted walls that lay beneath. There was a dresser, but it looked like it was mostly there for decoration. Nothing else would really fit, he mused, the cell being no bigger than ten foot by ten foot. Hisoka settled into the chair by Rui's beside, and picked up his mother's hand. Blushing at being watched, he spoke to her, even though she gave no indication of hearing, "the doctor is going to examine you. I'll be here the whole time."

After Hisoka moved away from the bed to give room, Watari opened his medical bag and began a basic exam, scribbling in his notebook. He took her blood pressure, and listened to her heart. Hisoka watched everything he did carefully.

Tsuzuki took the moment of being ignored, to stroll slowly around the cell, feeling out with his senses for anything strange. The fact struck him, that from the moment he'd entered the estate, everything had felt 'strange'. Fingers following the pattern of a river on one of the swathes of fabric, he took notice of a lingering trace of something there. There was magic, not strong, and not even activated. It felt like a lingering coolness of something that _had _been there. Something about the walls…

"Tsuzuki-san, shouldn't you be assisting?" the cold voice asked. Turning around, he could see Hisoka watching him critically. There was suspicion in his stare, something untraceable in the gaze that followed from the movement of Tsuzuki's hands to his face.

"Just Tsuzuki," he amended with a smile. Stepping back up to the bed, he glanced at the seemingly comatose woman. "I don't usually assist simple exams," he lied gently. Watari had the sheet pulled back so the woman's stomach was exposed, porcelain skin stretched in a round bump. He had a stethoscope pressed there, listening for the heartbeat. His face was in a concentrated frown. Finally pulling back, he scribbled something else in his notebook.

Tsuzuki studied the wary look Hisoka had, staring at his mother's stomach. It was like a thinly veiled disgust. "Is…is everything alright?" Hisoka addressed Watari. He reached out his slender hand to touch the swell, but then yanked it back as if burned.

"Well, I'd like to run a few tests, and confer with Tsuzuki first before I come to any sort of conclusion." Taking out an alcohol swab, he cleaned an area on the underside of her elbow, and then stuck it with a needle, filling several vials of blood, before stopping it with a taped-down cotton ball.

Summoning some courage, Tsuzuki asked softly, "Hisoka, was she sick like this for the whole pregnancy?" Hisoka blushed with the friendly address, but didn't complain as Tsuzuki half expected him to.

"No…for the first seven months or so she was fine, but then she became bed-ridden and ill…slowly she became this." Hisoka fixed him with that soul-searching stare of his again. "Will you be able to help her?"

_Help_, Tsuzuki thought, again faced with what he knew might come back to haunt him later. "We'll do all we can," he promised, hoping it wouldn't be their actions that harmed her.

Packing everything back into his bag, Watari put on a cheery smile. "All done here! We should get cleaned up before dinner." He skipped from the room leaving them behind in a gust of air.

Hisoka watched after him dispassionately. "Can I rely on him?" he asked seriously.

"Of course!" Tsuzuki said, nodding his head, "Watari is a genius. If anyone can solve a mystery, he can. Your mom is in good hands." Standing by the shorter youth, he didn't notice his own hand reaching out to ruffle the blonde's hair.

It was instantly swatted away before if even contacted, and he was pinned by a glare. "You should really work on your manners," he said icily.

Yelping at the acidic gaze, Tsuzuki held up his hands. "I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking." Remembering Watari's suggestion Tsuzuki floundered for something to say that wouldn't anger the boy. "So…what do you do for fun?"

Hisoka eyebrows raised in disbelief. Turning away, he began to extinguish the lamps one by one. "I read," he murmured, only one light glowing in the room. Lovingly, he lifted his mother's blankets and smoothed them over her frail body. The orange glow of the lamp made the golden strands dance over his face, green eyes narrowing as he examined his mother's face.

"Come, we'll be meeting my father for dinner." Hesitantly, he blew out the last lamp.

"You spend a lot of time with her?" Hisoka's hand fumbled as he locked the door. His shoulders were tense, and his voice came rather sharp when he replied back.

"Should I abandon her? Everyone seems to think so…just admit…if you think it's hopeless."

Tsuzuki sucked in a breath, feeling guilty. "No…I was just thinking that it is admirable. Not everyone is so dedicated to their family. Not everyone is as strong as you." Tsuzuki couldn't count the number of cases where souls withered and died in hospitals, hanging on past their time just hoping for a last visit--that desperate shine of longing that would dwindle out as the days passed.

His words must have been accepted for their sincerity, because Hisoka turned to glance at him, an awkward smile on his lips. "I wish there was more I could do."

They were both silent for a minute before Tsuzuki broke into an excited grin. "We'll bring more flowers! And I always like stuffed animals when I'm sick. Hisoka, what kind of things does she like?"


	8. Chapter 7

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Sudden Mummy complex. Hisoka is so weird here.

**Chapter 7**

Hisoka didn't know how to express, or if he even should, the gratitude he felt towards this man. The understanding that practically radiated off of him, and that infectious smile was soothing. Of course the compliment that Tsuzuki admired him, had been a little hard to swallow, but it was a genuine acclaim so unlike the compliments his family's associates often gave.

He couldn't be sure how old the other was, but he seemed young, perhaps in his mid-twenties. Still, his innocent charm was that of a much younger spirit. Stuffed animals and flowers were hardly the answer, but with the way he nearly skipped at the thought, one would think it was. But what really made Hisoka want to smile, thank the man for coming, was how he spoke. He didn't ask what kinds of things she _did_ like, he asked what she _does_ like. He spoke about her like the person she was, still alive, as if…

No one expected her to get better anymore, Hisoka knew, and none of them thought about her enjoyment. It was like they were merely caring for a corpse. But for even one person to acknowledge her as a human being, a person, Hisoka didn't know how to respond.

"S…she," Tsuzuki was absorbed in his reply--truly interested. "She likes classical music, and her favorite flower is forget-me-nots…but they are too small for me to pick." He thought that the name of the flower itself was just too ironic for his mother's situation. "She read romance novels, but I usually bring fantasy or mystery. And…she loved the rain. She used to hum when rain storms would come, trying to make a melody from the rain on the side of the house." Hisoka stopped suddenly, recognizing the burn in the back of his eyes, and wanting to save himself the humiliation.

A hand barely brushed his shoulder, and Hisoka stepped back, out of the reach. He was uncomfortable now, wondering how he could act so sentimental in front of a man he'd only met today. Tsuzuki's impertinence was apparently just as infectious as his smile.

Stepping around him, Hisoka began walking back to the main house. They'd already lingered too long, and he didn't want another reprimand from his father. Softly, he called over his shoulder, "remember to call me Young Master or by my sir name while in company." Hisoka tried not to blush at the thought of it.

Somehow having Tsuzuki call him Young Master didn't feel normal at all. He almost wanted to laugh at the very idea, which didn't make sense at all. He was used to being referred to as such…but for the other man to call him that… It was almost as absurd (only in his mind, not actuality) as him having to call such a flamboyant and spacey person, Sensei.

Hisoka shook off the odd burst of ridiculous thought, hoping he really wasn't ill. He'd been having stray ideas like that flying in and out all day. There was one point…not that he'd admit to such a thing, when he'd noticed the purple eyes closing, clearly falling asleep while his father spoke to them in the sitting room. Hisoka had felt his hand twitch, and a flash of an image: him smacking the napping man upside the head. He'd only just stopped himself.

Smacking houseguests was not courteous to say the least. Hisoka walked them to the dining room lost in such thoughts. He should be grateful, he reflected, that at least this doctor was so oblivious. Dr. Hazama had been too curious, too nosy, and in fact, he hadn't been the kindest man. These two were at the very least, kind and wanting to help, but mostly they seemed to be the type that distracted easily.

Of course…Hisoka braved a glance over his shoulder. He wasn't sure if that just wasn't an act. He had the uneasy hunch that there was more than beaming smiles and indecorous addresses from the men. Perhaps not so oblivious…Tsuzuki was observant. Yes, he had been studying his mother's room a little too closely for Hisoka's comfort. Not that the man could know…but none the less it was better to be careful. Then there was the way that Tsuzuki was _too_ easy to talk to. Hisoka would have to be careful not to say too much.

"We're here." Hisoka stopped and turned to the other man. He gave him an expectant look, but it didn't seem to rouse much interest in Tsuzuki. Hisoka eyed the loosely flapping tie and wrinkled suit jacket disgustedly. Didn't the man know how to wear a suit properly? "Perhaps you want a moment…?" he tried to hint again.

Tsuzuki just blinked at him. "What?"

Hisoka shook his head. "Never mind…" Perhaps he would see to it that more traditional garb was sent to their room, perhaps that would earn him a more put-together appearance. Straightening himself out, he slid the door open and walked into the dining hall.

His father was already seated, Watari directly across from him. They were conversing, the doctor spinning his chopsticks idly in his hands, like they had to be kept busy so he could think properly. "AH! Tsuzuki-san!" he called, amber eyes locking onto them as they entered. Hisoka bowed before taking a seat near his father. Tsuzuki nearly tripped over himself as he sat down, eyeing the door to the kitchen expectantly.

"Sensei, the doctor has told me that you've examined Rui. I'm extremely grateful. I hope you will be able to help my wife." Nagare spoke softly, his tone even. Hisoka glanced at his father, but couldn't gage his real feelings with his eyes covered like that. It was ridiculous really. It wasn't like he couldn't see with their condition, but with that stupid scarf--Hisoka wanted to rip it off and be done with it.

Gathering his courage he addressed Watari, "perhaps you could also look at my father's eyes--"

"Hisoka," the voice warned sternly besides him, but Hisoka refused to act abashed.

"Yes, now that you mention it, is there something wrong with you eyes, sir?" Tsuzuki asked, curious gaze roaming the older man's face.

"Yes…that is, they have been bad for some time. I use natural herbs on them, but it doesn't seem to have any affect." Reaching up elegantly, his father untied the white strip of fabric and let it fall from his eye. Yellowed eyes with slit pupils studied the faces of the doctors for the first time. Hisoka could remember a time when they were the same shade of emerald as his own.

The awkward silence of the table was broken when the kitchen door opened and several servants brought in the night's meal. Hisoka didn't feel very hungry, but knew it was exactly that trend that resulted in him fainting the other night. Already having pushed his luck with his father, he didn't want to risk his wrath so soon. Still, he didn't eat nearly as much as the two doctors, who could have been starving animals for the way they ate.

Hisoka got his wish though, his father didn't put the scarf back on until after dinner.

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Hisoka stewed in his room for quite a while after dinner, letting his mind wander over the days events with avid detail. It had been odd, he surmised. The new guests were of the strangest kind, not that his family had room to talk. Being more refined didn't make up for gruesome secrets and strange maladies.

Hisoka hadn't paid much attention to the talk during dinner. His father had mostly discussed their pay, and the basic rules of the house. Hisoka considered most of it pointless, the biggest law being, ' the don't ask, don't tell rule,' that was never really spoken aloud. By the end of the evening, Hisoka found himself severely irritated.

He wasn't sure with who.

Miya had been doting on him too much when he'd headed back to his room, asking if he was feeling alright, and trying to convince him not to visit his mother tonight. It didn't matter to him if they did have a doctor now. He would continue his morning and nightly ritual of visiting her!

Then there was Tsuzuki, who acted way too friendly, and caused _him_ to be too friendly… It really was irritating. People shouldn't smile that much. People shouldn't eat that much. People shouldn't be able to pout like that when they want more desert. It just wasn't…normal.

Speaking of normal, it was his father that had nerved him the most. At times, the man could just be so cold. It was a fact Hisoka forgot at times, when he remembered special memories, or they had a personal conversation. Still, for the most part, they acted like strangers living in the same home. Knowing how he himself was raised, Hisoka tried to understand that it wasn't easy for his father to show emotions or communicate well…but he didn't like it when he felt he was going through a Kurosaki training course rather than living his life.

Hisoka hadn't appreciated his father's warning after dinner. As if he didn't know the importance of maintaining the family's integrity, and not to try under-handed methods again. Worrying about his family didn't seem under-handed to him. And that, just that, was what pissed Hisoka off the most. His father was so apathetic most of the time that Hisoka began to fear…if those reptilian eyes were any indication…that the man was becoming less and less of himself. He was afraid he wasn't only losing his mother, but his father too. He was afraid he would be left all alone and it was…annoying.

Hisoka pretended he didn't feel like crying in his frustration.


	9. Chapter 8

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: special thanks to Tinker-Bel-Greenleaf for being my beta reader! You rock, and I'm sure everyone will appreciate less errors in the chapters.

**Chapter 8**

Watari left the bath first, grumbling about how long his hair took to dry. Tsuzuki didn't doubt this, and when he returned from the bath himself, he noticed that Watari, clad in large pajamas, was _still_ busily toweling the curly locks. It was times like this that he was glad he had short hair.

Settling onto his futon, Tsuzuki was still wearing clothes that were presentable enough, should he be caught while perusing the house tonight, as he planned. "So doctor, what are you findings?" Tsuzuki asked, only half-joking.

"Well…" Watari reached for his notebook and flipped it open. "Her pulse was high, I'd guess with anxiety. Her blood pressure was much lower than I'd like. That could be caused by minor internal bleeding, nothing too serious, or dehydration. I could prescribe something, but I'd want to be sure of the cause first, especially since she is pregnant. I'll definitely see if we can get an IV. I'll get some blood work done on the samples I took: blood cell count, traces of anything unusual, and her hormone levels, just in case." Watari shut the book and looked at Tsuzuki dead on. "As for the baby…There are no medical cases of a fetus living that long. Some pregnancies have been documented at reaching over a year, but not two and counting. The health risks escalate the more prolonged the pregnancy. After two-years, a normal fetus would have died long ago. It would have been still-born."

"So is the baby alive or dead?" Tsuzuki asked.

"That's the thing. There was a heartbeat. It was strong too, stronger than the mother's in fact, but…the rhythm was off. I'm not sure what we are dealing with here, but that fetus isn't normal. It may not even be human." Watari flipped his hair back over his shoulder. "I'd like to test the amniotic fluid, but I'm nowhere trained enough to perform an amniocentesis. We'll have to go about it a different way."

"You're sure it isn't human?"

"Well Nagare said he wasn't the father. Maybe she had a romp with a demon…or with all these curses they keep talking about, it could be a spell, or possession. It's really too early to tell." Watari suddenly began rifling through the coat he'd been wearing earlier. "Ah, yes. I almost forgot…but I found something earlier…"

Tsuzuki perked up, and shuffled across the floor to look at what his partner was holding in his palm. "What is that?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"This would be a scale." Holding it up to viewed properly, Tsuzuki could see it was a hard grey scale, much larger than that of a snake. In a way, it reminded him of one of Sohryu's scales, but of a different hue.

"Is it real? A scale of that size isn't from any sort of animal you'd find around here…"

"Well, I'm going to find out. There are some tests I can run, and if I can get some DNA off this puppy, then I might even be able to tell you what species it's from. It might take a while for the results though." Watari slipped the scale into a plastic bag, and put it in the bottom of his suit case.

"Sounds good. While you were examining Rui, I got a look around her room. I think there may be something there. I can't be sure because of the fabric covering the walls, but there was the lingering trace of a spell. I thought I might go there and try and poke around some."

Watari nodded. "That is a good idea, it will be difficult to investigate properly with the boy watching so closely. He was making me rather nervous." Checking his watch, Watari spoke again, "were you planning on going tonight?"

"Yeah, just waiting for everyone in the house to be asleep. I wouldn't want to be caught." Tsuzuki smiled. "Besides it's been a while since I've had to pick a lock."

"Aren't you going in spirit form?" Watari questioned.

"Yeah, I thought it would be best, but I don't want to just phase into the room. Whatever the spell was, it might still be affective. It would be smarter for me to walk in." Tsuzuki yawned. He felt exhausted, but he couldn't sleep until his mission was complete. Glancing at his own watch, he felt confident enough that any sane person would be sleeping by now.

"Just be careful. We don't want our cover blown until we have an idea of what's going on. Do you mind if I don't wait up for you?" Watari asked climbing into his bed, and pulling his laptop onto his crossed legs.

"No, I'm not sure how long it will take. I'll tell you if I find anything in the morning." Slipping on his coat to stay warm, Tsuzuki shifted into spirit form. Waving goodnight, he walked into the hall through the bedroom wall.

Tsuzuki was right, all the lights in the house were out, and it was utterly silent. Tsuzuki was glad he had good night vision. Patting his coat pocket where he had a bobby pen and a lighter (something he 'borrowed' from Terazuma one day after he ate the last Danish), Tsuzuki set off in the direction of Rui's cell.

Tsuzuki never had the greatest sense of direction. After living so many years, and seeing so many places, things all seemed to blend together. It didn't help that when his spiritual senses were heightened, he was often distracted by false emanations and really…his intuition wasn't always on the mark. The winding halls of the Kurosaki home seemed more of a maze than anything.

But Tsuzuki recognized a painting here and there, a shelf, and finally he found the right door. Sighing in relief, he walked through the wall again, stopping on the walk in front of Rui's room.

The night was cold when Tsuzuki shifted back into solid form. Tightening his coat around him, he dug out his bobby pen. He'd learned to pick locks when he was younger, a bit of a survival technique, if anything. It'd been years since he'd used his skills, only a couple times on cases so long ago he could barely recall them. Bending the pen, he pushed it into the lock.

The iron door was like ice, rusted, and rough. His finders grazed the sharp edges of the lock, and he twisted his hand trying to get it into place. This lock was old…it should be like the ones he used to…

Tsuzuki thought he almost had it when he heard the crunch of gravel just around the side of the building. More than a little surprised he yelped, dropping his bobby pen. Yet when squinting towards the ground to try and see where it had fallen, he realized it was a hopeless case. He turned then, and peered into the gap between the two houses, trying to see what had made the noise.

"What are you doing here?" A lantern was lifted up, blinding him from seeing who held it, but there was no mistaking that light voice that had a sharp edge.

"Hisoka?" he asked in disbelief. What was he doing up so late?

The lantern was lowered as Hisoka finished approaching. Tsuzuki could now see that the boy too was wearing cotton pants and a T-shirt, and Tsuzuki was struck by how normal it made him appear. Actually…Tsuzuki thought he looked adorable. The pants were baggy and loose on the other's hips, while the under shirt was tighter. A blanket was held over his shoulders to ward off the cold, and altogether Hisoka looked younger than his boasted age of eighteen. Tsuzuki thought he looked like a kid at a sleep over. That was when Tsuzuki noticed he was holding a large book in his other hand.

…_He came to read to her_, he thought in surprise. This late? Was this what Miya meant when she said he'd been working too hard?

"I asked, 'what are you doing here?'" Hisoka's tone was harder than before, that suspicious note back again --a nice reminder that Tsuzuki was _supposed _to be befriending the younger Kurosaki.

Smiling as welcoming as he could, Tsuzuki tried to come up with a good excuse. "Ah…well you see, Miya mentioned that you visit Rui every night…so I thought you might like some company?"

Tsuzuki couldn't be sure if Hisoka bought his lie or not, because all he got was a surprised stare in return. A blush slowly settled over the bridge of his nose and cheeks. Then suddenly, like a switch, the boy scowled angrily. "I don't need anyone's pity, not the maids, and not yours."

Tsuzuki swallowed. How was he supposed to be friendly when Hisoka acted defensively to everything he tried? "I didn't mean it like that! Honest! I just…well…I wanted to visit too."

"Why?" Hisoka eyes were boring into his, and Tsuzuki had to work hard not to flinch. It was eerie, those large green eyes trained on him…_They were_…For a moment Tsuzuki was drawn back to how familiar those eyes were. Posture relaxing, Tsuzuki turned, and studied the attempted glare, completely forgetting the question. _They were…magnificent._ "Uh…" Hisoka was the one to shift uncomfortably this time. "Never mind."

Hisoka walked around him, averting his eyes, and began to unlock the door. "So I can stay?!" Tsuzuki asked excitedly.

"You should go back to your room, and sleep like everyone else, but if you are going to be an idiot--" Hisoka paused, realizing what he'd let slip, and blanched slightly, trying to regain his polite protocol. "I mean, if you want to visit too, then I won't stop you. Just stay quiet while I'm reading."

Tsuzuki smiled even more widely, noticing the slip. "But Hisoka!!" he whined, "you're being an idiot too! You might as well have company."

He blushed again, although Tsuzuki wasn't sure if it was from embarrassment over what he had said, or Tsuzuki's reaction. Or…perhaps he just didn't like being chastised for staying up so late. Whatever the cause, Tsuzuki felt a thrill at the cute reaction. Coughing to cover his discontent, Hisoka stepped into the room, not waiting for Tsuzuki. He followed anyway, pleased with himself.

Hisoka set the lamp he'd brought on the bedside table, and shifted the chair as close to the bed as it could go and still give room for his knees. Coming to the conclusion that seating wouldn't magically arrive, and he obviously wasn't going to be able to examine the room like he planned, Tsuzuki plunked himself down on the ground, his back resting against the bed.

Most of the room was nothing but shadow, the one lamp only enough light to illuminate the book in Hisoka's hands, and part of the woman lying still on the bed. In the silence, Tsuzuki could hear her stuttering under her breath, which tapered off as Hisoka held her hand.

Glancing once at Tsuzuki, trying to determine just how distracting his presence would be, it seemed he decided to ignore another person being in the room entirely. "Good evening mother. I brought the new book I told you about." Without any further words, Hisoka opened the book to the first page, and began reading in a smooth steady voice.

Tsuzuki found that if he was caught watching the other, when he glanced up from the pages, he'd receive a frightening glare. Instead, Tsuzuki closed his eyes and focused on the sounds of the words forming the story being told. It was hard to pay attention though, because Hisoka had a low voice, but not really deep. It was like the voice Tsuzuki sometimes heard breaking his nightmares, with comforting words, just before he opened his eyes to realize he was alone. Warmth spread through Tsuzuki's limbs, making them languid, and his breathing settled. Floating into a light sleep, with the sound of beautiful words surrounding him, Tsuzuki didn't put up a fight. He felt so tired…

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He was laying in a bundle of sheets again, eyes open in the dark of the room. He couldn't sleep again tonight, the agony of the case getting to him. He was failing. It was hard to pretend it wasn't his fault. He had to act fine. He couldn't let the other notice…worry…

Only three feet away, the second bed in the room was occupied. His partner was tightly curled under his sheets. Tsuzuki wondered if he knew he slept like that, head tucked to his chest, arms hugging himself. He looked too innocent and lonely, and Tsuzuki had to fight the urge not to curl his own arms around him, and hold on tight until morning came. The thought of slipping under those blankets was so very appealing.

Tsuzuki hid a lot of things.

He wasn't sure if the changes he'd felt since 'the incident' were the same as what the other felt. Surely…after what was said…but Tsuzuki couldn't be so sure. He was never sure. Whenever he gained hope, it was only to be proved wrong. _Tatsumi…_But no, this time was different.

The heat in his chest tightened into an almost painfully powerful feeling. He wanted so much, but feared being needy. He didn't want to scare the other away, lest loosing it all, and without him, what reason was there to live?

Tsuzuki shook his head at the disturbing thoughts tickling in his mind. No, he was almost certain that the other felt the same. Watching the soft strands poking out from the twisted blankets, Tsuzuki again slid from his bed, and softly padded around to the other side of the room.

He had already decided. For sure after this case, if he could complete it, and prove he wasn't worthless, that he would confess his feelings to his partner. No actions, or soft words, but state it clearly, and wait for a response. He didn't want to wonder or wait anymore. He'd waited so many years, so many lonely years, and he wanted to know…if…if he would be allowed to keep _this_.

As soon as this case was completed he would…Tsuzuki blinked, some consciousness flickering behind his eyes.

But, he didn't know, couldn't remember…

Was he dreaming again?

His hand flew out to draw back the blanket, hoping this time he would be able to see, but before he could even make contact, his eyes were flying open.


	10. Chapter 9

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader who makes my life happy, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf!

AN: haha, finally some of the mystery pops up. You know I've never really written stories with such short chapters, and I'm starting to realize that I'm going to end up with a gazillion short chapters to finish this thing. Oh well...

**Chapter 9**

Hisoka finished the long chapter and snapped the book shut, committing the page number to memory. He would continue tomorrow night. It was getting a little too late now, and he didn't want to accidentally sleep in tomorrow. He'd been forced to come out even later tonight, knowing his father was keeping a close watch on him. Hisoka wouldn't let himself pass out from exhaustion again, not if it meant being banned from visiting his mother.

Stifling a yawn, Hisoka glanced down the man leaning against the bed frame. He frowned when he realized he'd fallen asleep. _Well I did tell him to go back to his room_, Hisoka thought, annoyed. Why was Tsuzuki so nosy? It had only been a day, and already he'd run into the man more than he usually saw his own _father_, and that was with them living in the same house.

Besides, it was _absurd _to think about anyone staying up this late to wait for him. Of course…Hisoka's eyes narrowed, the thought that there was another motive had crossed his mind. But he had no proof, and Tsuzuki didn't _seem_ dangerous, not at all. Hisoka sighed. He would have to rouse the other and get him to go back to his room. He hoped Tsuzuki wasn't one of those people that was difficult to wake-up.

Setting the book next to the lamp, Hisoka bent down in front of Tsuzuki. Pausing a moment, he examined his sleeping features, knowing that at least the man was sleeping, so he wouldn't be caught this time.

Tsuzuki was wearing pajamas, his black trench coat falling loose around him. His arms were limp in his lap, chin tilted down to his chest, so that his long bangs fell over the left side of his face. He looked surprisingly pretty for a man. Hisoka always became enraged when others described him as such. After all, being called beautiful was hardly manly. Still, watching this man sleeping, Hisoka couldn't think of a more suitable word.

Shaking his head, wondering just how tired he must be to think such thoughts, he reached out his hand to shake the man's bare forearm. His fingers just made contact before his knees gave out. Kneeling, he couldn't get his hand to pull away. He could feel something sinuous threading up through his fingers, a heat that tingled and rushed.

It felt like touching a high voltage wire, but it didn't hurt, it was just paralyzing, seizing his cells in tight fists. Gasping, trying to push away the feeling rising up his arm, and pull away his grasp on the other at the same time, Hisoka failed at both. It was just too over whelming. He knew he was shaking, but his mind was fogged, trying to cope with an influx of something that was foreign to him.

_What…what… _Hisoka couldn't understand what was happening, but feelings like sad and lonely seared behind his eyes. Warm, scared, but hope, such strong longing. Hisoka could see flashes of a room, one he'd never seen before, but… "Ahh…" Hisoka groaned, a pain wrenching up from his very core, like he was tearing something from a dark hiding place to see these things. It hurt. It hurt, but the feelings themselves were so warm, so powerful, snaking through his chest like a hot flame.

"S-stop…please, STOP!" Gasping, his fingers jerked away from the warm skin under them, and Hisoka shuffled back on his heels, dragging himself as far across the floor from Tsuzuki as he possibly could. His chest was still heaving, just short of hyperventilating, and a headache was throbbing behind his eyes.

"Hisoka?" Purple eyes were blinking open. They glanced first at the empty chair, and then swept to the shadows where Hisoka was sitting, trying to catch his breath. Gaze sharpening, trying to make out Hisoka's expression, he sat up, and made to move towards him. "Hisoka…are you alright?"

Hisoka's mind whirled. This wasn't normal. What just happened…Those weren't his feelings he knew…and that room…Tsuzuki's dream…_Tsuzuki's_ dream.

Was this part of the curse? But his father had never mentioned seeing things when he touched people, but…then again, his father rarely discussed much of anything with him. Whatever that was, it wasn't normal, and Hisoka didn't want it happening again.

Tsuzuki was squatting down in front of him, eyebrows pinched in worry, and a hand reaching out. Hisoka's eyes widened in fear. "Don't touch me!" Tsuzuki froze, hurt but heightened worry flickering over vulnerable eyes.

"Hisoka…?"

"I'm fine. It's nothing," Hisoka snapped, trying to calm his racing heart. He felt like it might just leap from his chest. His hands were jittery, so he clenched them into fists, wanting to hide it from the intense gaze Tsuzuki was casting over him.

"You don't look fine. You're pale…and shivering. Are you cold?" Tsuzuki asked, picking up the discarded blanket Hisoka had brought and draping it over his shoulders. Hisoka couldn't help but flinch, fearing they might accidentally touch again.

"Are you sick? I could get Watari…"

"No! I said I was fine!" Hisoka said frantically. He didn't want to answer questions, and if his father heard about his breakdown, then he'd have more than enough reason to keep Hisoka from visiting his mother. Hisoka swallowed, realizing he needed to pull it together before Tsuzuki pushed him any further. Willing his pulse and breathing to slow down, Hisoka stood up. Tsuzuki followed, eyeing him for any show of needing support.

"What happened?" he finally asked in a dead-serious tone.

Hisoka faltered. Could it be that Tsuzuki knew? Could he feel Hisoka somehow drawing out his thoughts? Such a vile thing. If his father found out…he was so afraid of anything supernatural, that Hisoka wasn't sure how he'd react. _But this has never happened before…_ Hisoka met Tsuzuki's dark gaze. _It's him… _he couldn't be sure about it yet but, _it only happened because I touched him…_

"I was just tired…I dozed off for a moment…had a nightmare," Hisoka lied, watching for any sign that Tsuzuki noticed the untruth. His expression was blank and unreadable now, so very different from his usual open one. Somehow Hisoka thought he knew there was more to the story.

"Right…it's late. We should go to bed. You shouldn't stay here so late," Tsuzuki warned, apparently deciding he wasn't going to get an answers by asking. Turning his back on the other, Hisoka retrieved his book and lantern from the nightstand.

"You go ahead…I want to say goodbye to my mother."

There was a moment of silence, and Hisoka, could feel that stare drilling into his back. He was afraid to turn around and meet that intense look. Hisoka thought that for sure, Tsuzuki would protest, and attempt to walk him back to his room. A sigh, "alright, I'll see you tomorrow." Tsuzuki walked back out through the creaking door, pausing only once to glance back.

Alone, Hisoka let out the shiver that had gathered at the base of his spine. "What the hell was that?" he groaned into the quiet of the cell, rubbing at the ache behind his temple. His senses were on fire, and he was shaky and drained. He felt unbearably tired. Stumbling to the door, he bowed his head and put his palms together, speaking clearly under his breath. The energy was hard to gather, especially in his current state, but it worked, the paper charms behind the fabric hangings glowing to life. This was his mother's true security system, and Hisoka had taken great care to make sure he was the only one that knew about it. His father might not believe that his mother was in danger, but Hisoka knew there were things that wandered these halls, haunted their family's name. He would take no chances.

Locking the door, Hisoka began the trudge back to his room.

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Hisoka couldn't sleep that night. Exhaustion was heavy in his limbs, and behind his eyes, but his mind raced. The feelings he picked up earlier in his mother's room kept replaying in his mind, along with the fragments he'd seen of that room. Sweat had long since gathered on his skin, cold in the night air, but his head burned like coals compressed between his ears. His mouth was open and panting against the throb. He felt sick--terribly sick.

His consciousness came and went with small bouts of rest that were always interrupted by strange images. He was plagued by the scent of sakura, usually sweet, smelling like blood. He dreamed scars and fire, ash that crumbled, and fathomless amethyst eyes. There was no escaping the gaping void that swallowed him.

Finally…finally it seemed to trickle away, and Hisoka lapsed into an empty sleep, his hands still clenched in his blankets.


	11. Chapter 10

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: yayness for demon spawn.

**Chapter 10**

A week passed and Tsuzuki tried not to reflect on anything too much. They'd fallen into a routine. Every day before lunch Watari would examine Rui, checking her pulse and blood pressure, and record it in his little notebook. Hisoka was always present for these examinations, but he was more quiet now, exchanging as few words with them as possible. Somehow it frustrated Tsuzuki. After all, he was supposed to be befriending him…and it had been going so well. Tsuzuki still couldn't figure out what had happened that first night, but whatever it was, Hisoka had clamped shut.

The second night, Tsuzuki had wanted to join him for reading again, but Hisoka had told him to go to sleep, stating that he was a distraction. Tsuzuki tried not to feel hurt at this, but it was difficult. Hisoka was purposefully avoiding him, and Tsuzuki couldn't help but feel he'd done something wrong.

It was in the way Hisoka turned his head before their eyes could meet, or how he would side step just enough to make sure they never brushed shoulders in the tight space of his mother's room. It was complete avoidance; almost like fear. And that, the fear, was what truly hurt Tsuzuki…because he was afraid that if there wasn't a clear reason for why Hisoka was evading him, it was simply because it _was_ Tsuzuki. Perhaps the boy could see what he truly was…

Tsuzuki shook his head. It was this type of thinking that had him in a bad mood the whole week. When Tsuzuki wasn't awake trying to solve a case that he couldn't seem to focus on, he was lost in dreams of a hotel room, and a partner that promised to never leave him. If Watari noticed any of this (which he probably did if the looks he'd been getting were any indication) he didn't say anything. Tsuzuki was grateful, because he didn't know what he'd say if asked.

Their routine had yet to be disturbed, so it was with a muffled groan, that Tsuzuki woke up to the sound of typing one morning. Watari, apparently having much more in common with 003 than his chipper attitude, was a night person. So to wake up _after_ Watari (even with Tsuzuki's bad habit of sleeping in) was a surprise. "Wadd'ya doing up so early?" Tsuzuki grumbled into his drool covered pillow.

"Science! What else?" Tsuzuki lifted his head to see Watari still typing on his lap top.

"Wha'?"

"My friends back at the main lab in Meifu ran the blood tests I wanted. I got the results this morning," Watari said cheerfully, 003 hooting excitedly on his shoulder.

"Really?" Wiping sleep from his eyes, Tsuzuki sat up. "Does it tell us anything important?"

"Does it!" Watari spun his lap top around and pointed at some numbers on the screen. Tsuzuki looked up at him blankly. "Right, right. Let me explain."

Tsuzuki yawned. "You'd better because I'm not the one playing doctor here."

"Well first of all, her white blood cell count is high, like she's fighting off an infection. Her hormones, despite having an abnormal pregnancy are all at the right levels. Human chorionic gonadotropin hormone, human placental lactogen, estrogen, and progesterone are present in the proper amounts. But what gives reason to our theory, is in the traces of another chemical found," Watari stated proudly.

Tsuzuki took a moment to cut out the scientific bits, before asking, "and what was our theory?"

"That the child isn't human! Remember we thought it might be part demon, or possessed? Well the toxicology report supports the idea!" Watari pointed at the numbers on the screen again dramatically.

"Toxicology? She's being poisoned?" Tsuzuki frowned in confusion.

Watari sighed. "Am I the only one who knows anything about demon possession?"

Tsuzuki tried not to glare. His stomach turned forebodingly. "Just explain it."

"Alright, so there is a reason why demons can only possess a mortal for so long. Obviously mortals and demons aren't compatible, and the body usually rejects the demonic presence, and then shuts down, until the host dies." Watari held up a finger when Tsuzuki looked ready to question him. "That is why there are a lot of legends of demons wanting to be reborn through a human form instead of possessing one that is already alive."

"What's the difference?"

"Well if the host is completely human, it wouldn't last more than a month under possession, thus being completely useless. However, if a demon can somehow create a host that is half demon and human, then it would be viable, and not only that, but earthly bound. Makes it easier for demons to conduct their business on earth. That is, a ritual of some sort would have to be performed to transfer the demon into the fetus, or else…I suppose a soul would be appointed to the body like any human child." Watari paused, tapping his chin. "The point is, demons and humans aren't compatible, so if Rui did have a tryst with a demon, and her child is half demon, then it's killing her."

Tsuzuki swallowed. "How exactly?"

"It's all in the toxicology report. Each type of demon, depending on species and strength, produces its own sort of toxin. Its why half-demons are so rare. The fetus will produce the toxin, even if it isn't as strong as a full out possession, and it slowly poisons the mother. Usually this results in either both dying, or it weakens the mother's body enough to induce a miscarriage. Cross-breeding isn't natural after all."

The words circled in Tsuzuki's head, and he tried not to cringe. He could still hear the chants of the village children screaming at him. 'Monster!' The shouts would become unbearable. 'Demon. You're a demon! Look at his eyes. He isn't human!' Tsuzuki shivered.

"Tsuzuki?" Watari was looking at him oddly, and Tsuzuki realized his face was frozen in a sort of grimace.

"I was just thinking. So the blood test proves that Rui has one of these toxins?" Tsuzuki tried to make his voice even. It was hard; the lump in his throat threatened to choke him. The conversation alone was stirring up things he'd rather leave forgotten. Hisoka's avoidance of him over the last week had already brought old fears back into the spot-light.

"Yes, and a particularly high count too. It's my guess that even if she was to survive the birth, her body has already been damaged beyond repair. She's bound to have organ failure. I'd give her another few months." Watari said grimly.

"There is no way to reverse the damage?" he asked dismally.

"Not this much. She's already having system failure. That's why her condition has deteriorated so much. If we induce labor, she won't survive it. Not in her state." Watari shoved his laptop onto the bed and drew his knees up under his chin. "Of course if the fetus were to die, then there are other methods of removal. A still birth may not be as taxing…" Tsuzuki looked up appalled.

"It's a baby! It's not like it's killing her on purpose!" he shouted, his stomach tightening further.

"No, but Meifu doesn't exactly value the life of a demon as much as a human's. Besides, if the fetus lives, then it could be the rebirth of a much nastier demon. We really don't know what we are dealing with. We just need to keep in mind what options we might have to take."

"Yeah I know," Tsuzuki said sharply, standing up. "I'm going to go wash up." Not bothering to look back at his friend, Tsuzuki grabbed his clothes and left the room.

The bath was just down the hall, and it was too early for much of the house to be up yet. Given this, Tsuzuki didn't try to cover the hurt that twisted his face into a frown. His eyes felt itchy, like they might start tearing at any moment, no matter how hard he fought it. _It just wasn't right._

Walking into the bath, he tossed his clothes to the ground haphazardly, undressed, and walked into the heated pool. It must have already been filled by some of the maids for the morning, and Tsuzuki was grateful for it.

He sank into the steamy water with a sigh. He hadn't meant to react that way to what Watari had said, and it wasn't fair to him. After all, he couldn't have any idea what had been going though Tsuzuki's head over the past week. His dreams had driven his longing for a permanent partner even higher, and he couldn't stop from feeling like he was losing something--even if he never really had it--when he woke up each morning. He didn't know how to fix himself so someone, _anyone,_ would stay. Hisoka's elusive gaze, and the apparent dislike, only served to remind him of his faults. And now this whole situation with Rui, another life dangling from a thread, just seemed to make it all worse. He just felt so tired…

Shifting so that he could rest his chin on his knees, Tsuzuki shivered. Even if the baby was half-demon, that didn't automatically make it evil did it? Watari said himself that a human soul could be appointed. Just because it wasn't normal…didn't make it a monster… Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes shut against the hot tears that spilled down his cheeks.

It wasn't it's fault… _it wasn't his fault… _He could still hear the angry voices of children hissing in his ears, telling him otherwise. Abnormal, a monster…_a killer_.

Rui would die. Wasn't that right? He couldn't just let that happen either. Still, for Rui to have a half-demon fetus meant there had to be a demon somewhere around here. If they could kill that demon…then maybe the baby could live. Rui would die either way, Watari had said himself that she'd only have a few months…

Tsuzuki drew his arms around himself harder. He didn't want more blood on his hands…

Confusion and guilt swirled in Tsuzuki's head, and he was so busy trying not to sob that he didn't notice the bath door slide open.


	12. Chapter 11

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: Um…really, this probably wouldn't happen in the normal timeline due to Hisoka's super-strength modesty, but I figure it makes some sense here.

**Chapter 11**

So Hisoka wasn't a freak. It wasn't something that was easy to test, but Hisoka had 'accidentally' brushed hands with Miya the first chance he'd gotten after his incident with Tsuzuki, which wasn't long after, considering she'd had to come wake him up because he'd slept in. He hadn't been happy about that, but at least by the time it was morning his illness, and the throbbing headache, had left.

Touching Miya brought nothing but a blush on her part (making him blush in turn). Later, he had touched his father's arm when guiding him to the dining room. Nothing happened. Nothing was said. There was no freezing of limbs or rushes of emotions--nothing to signal that Hisoka was abnormal. It had to be Tsuzuki, he decided.

But it wasn't easy trying to throw Tsuzuki off. In fact, the puppy dog eyes and tail tucked between the legs he'd gotten when he informed Tsuzuki he didn't want him joining his nightly readings anymore, had almost made him feel like a heartless bastard. That sort of look _couldn't_ be human.

Hisoka found, that even being close to the other man was enough for him to feel the miserable air around him, if not as bad as that first night. He could no longer make eye-contact, because those sad irises had the power to make him cringe in guilt. It was stupid really, because it wasn't _his_ fault. He was still courteous. Just because he wasn't trying to be his 'buddy'…or something…

The week had left Hisoka tired and feeling worn. It was a lot of effort to avoid Tsuzuki when he seemed to constantly be running into him. And the dreams still came to him at night, more fiercely than ever since the incident. It only added to his fatigue, and finally, when Hisoka woke with a start this morning, sweat on his forehead and that now familiar headache, he'd given up, and headed to the bath.

It was early, but the estate's help usually woke before dawn, so Hisoka felt confident that the bath would be filled for morning use. The bath was open to everyone in the house, but since becoming ill, his father liked to bathe alone in a private tub. The servants washed before day-break or late at night before letting the water out. Even when they entertained guests (though rarely these days) the bath was usually free this early in the morning. In fact, Hisoka was so accustomed to bathing alone, that he nearly had a heart-attack when he opened the bath door to see the very man he'd been trying to avoid, already there.

There was a brief hesitation, where Hisoka considered just turning on the spot and leaving. Tsuzuki hadn't seemed to notice him yet. He could still walk away. But…Hisoka's eyes narrowed… The man was holding himself tightly, submerged in the steaming water to his chin, and…crying. He looked like an upset little kid, eyes worried in pain. Hisoka didn't know what to make of it. He froze in the entrance. "Uhh…," his voice cracked into the silence.

Tsuzuki's head snapped in his direction, water sloshing over the rim of the bath. They were wide with surprise, then embarrassment. Quickly he turned away, a hand coming up to wipe at his cheeks. He let out a nervous chuckle. "I'm sorry." Trying to hide that he'd been upset just moments before, Hisoka was alarmed when he realized that he was rather good at hiding his feelings. With a wide smile, and after unfurling himself some, Tsuzuki looked completely different from the man he'd walked in on.

Hisoka could feel it though, and he wasn't fooled. The sadness, loneliness…and guilt, all permeated the air, sweeping into his lungs as he tried to breathe. "Would you…like some privacy?" Hisoka asked, hoping that he would say yes. It wasn't just the awkwardness that he'd have to endure sharing the bath with him, but he wasn't sure he could handle to be so close. Already from here, he could sense those emotions, and it scared him to death. What if it got worse? He knew he wouldn't be able to hide whatever strange connection they had. It would be horrifying if anyone found out…

_This isn't normal_, he thought again, like engraining a mantra into his brain. No one else acted differently when they accidentally touched Tsuzuki. _Just me. Only when I touch him._ Hisoka's heart pounded in his chest.

Tsuzuki smiled disarmingly. "No! There's no point in me hogging all the water!" Tsuzuki said joyfully. _You're lying_, Hisoka thought, and he didn't know why it bothered him so much. If it weren't for this…abnormality, he wouldn't even know that Tsuzuki was anything other than what he acted.

Swallowing, Hisoka set his towel and change of clothes on the wooden bench by the wall, and then slowly slid out of his yukata. He couldn't prevent a blush of embarrassment at being seen naked. Really, if he thought about it, no one but his immediate family had ever seen him naked, and that hadn't been for years. Trying to cover his discomfort, he stepped into the water quickly, resting against the opposite wall.

The water was hot, fires probably still burning strong to heat it, and Hisoka could feel the tension in his muscles relaxing away, even as the apprehension in his mind increased. The strong emotions from Tsuzuki had mellowed now, and he noticed those purple eyes were glancing at him side-long. Curious, happy, a strange sort of affection. New, and barely there, a small sort of hopefulness that was nearly smothered by the never ceasing guilt. It was strange, Hisoka thought, to be able to know these things when Tsuzuki's expression was only friendly. It felt intrusive…yet somehow powerful to be able to know what he was really thinking. Hisoka was so intrigued that it took him a moment to realize they were staring at each other in silence. Blushing again, he looked away.

Hesitation, and a bit of fear, pre-warnings before Tsuzuki spoke, and Hisoka wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to get used to _feeling_ this. "I'm sorry." It was completely different in meaning from when he'd said it before, and Hisoka looked at him in confusion.

"For what?" he asked almost automatically.

Tsuzuki blinked, as if it must be obvious. "Whatever I did for you not to like me. I know I can be annoying sometimes, and people usually tell me that I'm hard to deal with. I just wanted to apologize for whatever I did." It was sincere, true belief, and Hisoka thought the sentiment was ridiculous. After all, Tsuzuki hadn't really _done_ anything.

Hisoka huffed in irritation. "Who said you _did_ anything?"

His words sparked a true fear, hate (self-directed), sadness, and it reaffirmed something dark and ugly that Hisoka could barely make out. It scared Hisoka and he shivered. He shouldn't be feeling this. He was violating the other's privacy. He just wished he knew how to turn it off. "Oh…I-I understand. I can leave if you want."

Just what did he think he understood? The emotions felt wrong, and Hisoka was just so confused. He focused harder, trying to clear the muddle out of his head, but instead he caught something, dark and menacing, '_It is just me then…He hates me because…'_

Hisoka choked, that pain flaring in his head again, like he was ripping something inside--something that shouldn't be touched. Rubbing his temple, Hisoka knew he had to say something. "No. No, I don't hate you." His words sounded weak to his ears, and the bath spun in his vision. This was bad…he had to breathe or he was sure he'd pass out.

But his words seemed to cut down the rush of dark emotions, their sudden absence so close to bliss, Hisoka couldn't help but sigh in relief. "You don't?" he asked, unsure, but the hope was so much easier to take in.

"No, I'm sorry if I gave the impression…" Hisoka stopped to breathe, his lungs feeling tight. The bath was a bad idea. Sure the heat made his tired body relax, but it also made him dizzy, and with how overworked his mind felt, all he could hear was the blood beginning to pound in his ears. He cringed, sudden alarm and worry being directed at him from Tsuzuki's side of the bath…_And that really isn't helping_, Hisoka moaned silently.

"Hisoka?!" He could feel water stirring, and knew that Tsuzuki was moving towards him. _No! He can't touch me! _

Hisoka could hear it clearly in the other's mind too. _'I knew he didn't look well. He was so pale. I should have paid more attention…He probably hasn't been sleeping like he should…'_

Hisoka wanted to yell at him to stop thinking like that--thinking at all! He was so loud about it, and overwhelming. Hisoka's stomach turned, and he could feel himself slipping further into the water. Suddenly, warm hands were catching him, and holding him safely above the water's surface. Arms were sliding around him, and pulling him clear out of the bath. The air was cool, and prickled at his skin, a contrast from the heat of those fingers, and the rush of something that jolted down his spine.

"Hisoka?!" he could hear from faraway, but his eyes slipped shut anyway, body limply detached from his mind. He could feel himself being wrapped in his towel, gentle fingers brushing the bangs back from his forehead--then movement. But it was so far from where he was falling. The pain at the back of his skull was engulfing him, the emotions so thick he could suffocate.

Colors spun out around him and before he knew what was happening, he was dreaming in images and disjointed words. Feelings moved faster than what he saw, like a film that wasn't in sync. Words were out of correlation with moving lips.

It was raining, heavy and cold, but unheeded. His shirt clung, damp and awry, and his hair was heavy over his eyes. But the cold was unobtrusive compared to the warm emotions radiating out towards him. A deep seated protectiveness--wanting to keep pain far away. A willingness to care where others hadn't…

Hope, because this man didn't have much of it, and when it came, it was fleeting, so very much like the rain in this place. Because he wanted to hold onto it and pray that his loneliness would end; someone would stay. That loneliness seemed to resonate in Hisoka. He knew only too well what it meant to be abandoned, cast out, to want to cling desperately to _anything_.

Hisoka turned his head, the effort seeming to take so much strength in this scattered dream. But there he was, drenched suit, and water-logged trench coat, not minding the downpour either. He looked good in the rain, dark strands of hair shielding mauve eyes. Rain seemed to bring all the darkness to the surface, to be washed away, like it could purify. Nothing was as rich as that stare, serious but welcoming. It said they could find strength together. That he would care for him because, 'You're my partner,' his voice said, the rain trying to catch the words and keep them from Hisoka's ears.

And the rain was really stripping everything away, the bridge railing dissolving into drips of color, and the buildings beyond melting away like a tipped watercolor. Even that promising smile was falling into blurs of black, and small drops of purple. His hands too were being taken, because this wasn't real.

This was just a dream. A dream now because he'd let it all slip away. And even not knowing it, he could feel it, the truth in that. It was gone, never was, because of _him_.

The water was all around now, dripping and drowning, pooling around his ankles. All gone…all of it.

Gone…

"Gone…" It was a sigh, a gasp, all at the same time. Consciousness yanked him awake sharply, the breath squeezing back into his lungs. He could just hear the tale end of someone speaking.

"You should go inform his father--wait, looks like he's waking up."

He forced his eyes to open, the sharp light filtering in through the screen doors, making his head throb further. "No," he forced himself to say coherently. It was difficult, because the dream still clung to his fogged mind, making if hard for him to remember just why he was lying on the floor wrapped in only a blanket, or why his father should be informed about it for that matter.

"Hisoka," a gentle voice said, Tsuzuki's face swimming into view. It wasn't melting into thousands of colors like in the dream, and it made Hisoka want to reach out and touch, just to affirm that everything was solid, real, here. "How are you feeling? You passed out in the bath."

It took a record length of time for the words to register, a flurry of memory aided by the tender concern he could feel flooding him from where Tsuzuki was brushing the hair from his eyes. Oh. A blush, even in his disoriented state, found itself over his cheeks. Tsuzuki had touched him, _carried_ him, whilst he was stark naked. He could remember the warm hands, enjoyed them, felt safe. The blush darkened.

"If you want, I'll tell Nagare and you two can--"

"No!" Hisoka cut off the doctor. "Please don't tell him!" Hisoka struggled to sit up, his limbs still lethargic. "I don't want him to worry. Please, he'd be upset if he knew I'd been ill again. He'll think its because I'm not taking care of myself, and he won't let me visit my mother anymore. Please don't tell him!" Hisoka could feel the urgency that the doctor understand this. Those amber eyes were searching his, for what he didn't know, but he knew that they must be eerily perceptive.

"And have you been taking care of yourself?" Tsuzuki gave a strange look towards Watari, but the doctor's eyes were still trained on Hisoka.

Hisoka felt that if he lied, somehow he would know. "I have trouble sleeping, but I swear it has nothing to do with seeing Mother. Please, don't tell him." Tsuzuki's hand was on his shoulder reassuring him, and he sent another look to Watari, this time blatantly imploring.

Ruffling a hand through his abundant locks, Watari seemed to concede. "Alright, but I'm only covering for you once. We are _employed _by your _father_."

Relief spread through Hisoka, and he wasn't sure if it was his alone. Tsuzuki was still touching him, but it didn't feel painful or overwhelming right now. It had dimmed to something tolerable, and Hisoka relaxed into it. The same protectiveness from the dream was there, and Hisoka could almost hear those words echoing in his head, '_because you're my partner_.'


	13. Chapter 12

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: Finally some real Hisoka x Tsuzuki-ness.

**Chapter 12**

Tsuzuki dressed silently after Hisoka had insisted he was feeling fine, and wanted to go back to his own room to get dressed. Tsuzuki had relented, but only after making the boy promise to talk to him after breakfast. He still felt worried, and the way Watari kept looking at him wasn't helping him calm down in the least. "You checked on him, and he was fine, right?"

Watari gave him a covert glance. "Yes, he might have been telling the truth when he said he was just fatigued." Tsuzuki paused to look at him.

"Might? You don't think it was that either then?" Tsuzuki finished buttoning his shirt and sat down.

Watari grinned. "There usually is more to it. It's called scientific observation, and I don't think he was telling the whole truth…except for the fact that he was truly afraid about how Nagare would react."

"I don't know…back in the bath…it seemed odd," Tsuzuki said hesitantly.

"Really? What exactly happened?" Tsuzuki was glad that Watari didn't attempt to make any of his usual jokes.

"We were talking," Tsuzuki paused guiltily, when he remembered just what they had been discussing, "and I should have noticed that he hadn't looked well even before that, but he was saying something and then…well he sort of paled and started looking like he had a headache." Tsuzuki made a concentrated face, as he vividly recalled the previous events. "The weird thing is, he acted really funny when I touched him."

Watari bit his lip to keep from making the obvious remark…"What'd he do?"

"He started twitching like he was having a seizure… and I thought I felt something…like he was gathering power, but it was different, something barely there. Then he just went limp." Tsuzuki couldn't really word the sensation. It was like a tingling in his finger tips--an invisible hand reaching out to him. The reaction had been natural; he'd put up his shields. Then Hisoka had relaxed, and both strange feelings had gone away.

"Power?" Watari began pacing, 003 on his shoulder.

Tsuzuki knew what he might be thinking, and shook his head. "No, Hisoka is human. I didn't feel anything like that. Some humans have naturally heightened spiritual abilities. It could explain what I felt in Rui's room. It was a weak spell whatever it was." Tsuzuki tried to recall if the energy he'd felt in the bath was similar to the traces in Rui's room, but both were so fleeting that he couldn't tell.

"A bit coincidental with all this 'curses and demons' business that is going on in this house. How can we be so sure? Demons can enhance a human's natural abilities too. If a demon wanted to raise a half-blood host, it might need a mortal to help it." Tsuzuki glared at Watari, knowing that he was only being the devils-advocate for the sake of the case, but still harboring the need to protect the younger Kurosaki.

"No, Hisoka loves his mother. He wouldn't work with a demon against his own family!" Tsuzuki said adamantly.

"I'm not saying he _definitely_ is, but you can't ignore that it's plausible. Like I said, half-blood pregnancies have low success rates. A demon would be smart to make a deal with a human to take care of the mother. Whatever that spell is, and with how much time Hisoka spends with her, you can't deny that Rui is being attended to with great focus." He shrugged under the cold look Tsuzuki was giving him. "We have to be careful. It might not only be a demon we have to deal with in the end. I just don't want to go about things blindly."

There seemed to be a sort of accusation in that last statement and Tsuzuki felt threatened for a moment. "I'm not being blind. I'm just telling you that Hisoka isn't like that."

"You've only known him a week. You're losing your objectivity. We're on a case, and everyone is suspect until it's solved." Watari's expression softened. "It's like the conversation back on the train. You should be careful not to get too attached to people."

"I'm not attached." Tsuzuki thought the word 'lie' at the same time he spoke. He couldn't help it though. It wasn't like he'd known Hisoka long, and hell, he'd spent the whole first week being avoided, but somehow he did feel close to him. It was just something he knew for certain in his heart. He knew Hisoka wasn't behind any of this. He'd seen the love in his eyes when he'd read to Rui, and when he'd placed the flowers on her nightstand.

"Then you'd better be careful. I thought he might open up to you, but if you can't handle that, then we're doing just fine solving the case this way too. I just don't want to see you hurt, Tsuzuki." Tsuzuki avoided his partner's gaze.

"Yeah." Standing up, and pretending to stretch, he put on a false smile. "Well, at least there's always breakfast!"

qpqpqpqpqp

After breakfast, Tsuzuki excused himself from Watari's company, and walked out to the side building where Rui's room was. He slowed down when he saw Hisoka had only just gotten there himself, and was finished unlocking the door. He paused then, noticing how Hisoka bowed at the entrance and muttered something under his breath. Tsuzuki could feel it, a dispelment of energy, and he knew that his theory had been confirmed.

But a small doubt was breeding in the back of his mind. Just what was the spell…and how did he know for sure that Hisoka could be trusted? Was he being foolish to trust a gut feeling? Forcing a smile, he bounded up the walk, and peeked into the room.

Hisoka was already sitting there, frowning at the vase of flowers on the bedside table. They were wilted and brown from the lack of light. "We could pick some more," Tsuzuki offered while walking fully into the room. He could feel it, the buzz of the broken spell, and he itched to check it out.

Hisoka shook his head tiredly. "What is the point. They die so quickly." His eyes traced his mother's face, and then trailed down to the curve too large to be hidden by blankets. "There isn't much that can survive without sunlight."

"Is that what your trying to do Hisoka? Bring her light?" Tsuzuki sat on the foot of the bed, watching his expression carefully. It was docile now, tired, and a little sad.

"I don't know what I'm trying to do. Nothing seems to make much of a difference." Hisoka reached out and took his mother's hand. Dark eyes blinked open on the woman's face, but she didn't make any acknowledgments past that.

"I think it does." Tsuzuki smiled sadly. "To the people that care about her, it matters, and I'm sure it helps her too."

Hisoka gave a strangled laugh. "I…try to remember everything how it was before, because I'm afraid she doesn't remember…and if I forget. If I forget, then it will be like it never existed. People can fall through the cracks in this family. I don't want to let her go." He still had his gaze trained on where his hand held his mothers, and Tsuzuki wasn't sure if he was truly aware of what he was saying, because he had probably just said more than he'd intended to.

"I want to protect her, but I think I'm too late. Tell me, do you think you can save her, or is it really hopeless?" Hisoka asked, a sort of whining note coming out in his words, but his eyes surprisingly tear-free and focused.

Tsuzuki didn't know what to say. He knew the truth, but was afraid to break Hisoka's hope. "I think…we need to believe she can make it," Tsuzuki managed softly.

"Right," Hisoka ran a hand over his eyes and through his hair, taking a deep breath. "Let's pick some flowers then."

Tsuzuki started in surprise, and then smiled. "Good idea Hisoka! If we find a pot, then maybe we can bring forget-me-nots too!"

Hisoka let out a small grin at that, and Tsuzuki thought it might've been the first time he'd seen him smile. It was truly beautiful, and he found himself in awe at the way it made his entire face seem to light up. No, Hisoka was strong and loyal, loving, even if he seemed distant. Hisoka wasn't evil--he was an _angel_.

Tsuzuki noticed him blushing, and wondered if he weren't used to smiling. They left the room, which Hisoka locked, and then Tsuzuki followed him to where the garden was.

Even though spring was winding down into summer, the sakura blossoms were still gorgeous scattering in the wind. It was like pink snow, blanketing the lawn, and Tsuzuki thought the parallel between the Kurosaki garden and Meifu was amazing. He felt entirely at home, and the weight on his shoulders relaxed.

Hisoka led him around to the back of the estate, where some of the smaller buildings were, and Tsuzuki found himself surrounded by thousands of flowers in careful landscaping. "You know," Tsuzuki said, paying close attention to what types of flowers they had, "I have a garden back home too."

Hisoka glanced over his shoulder. "Really? I didn't think you'd be the gardening type."

They stopped at a small shed, and apparently it wasn't locked, because Hisoka just walked inside. Tsuzuki waited, not sure if he was supposed to follow, but a moment later Hisoka came back out with a small pot, a spade, and a pair of shears.

They spent the next half-hour walking around the garden, cutting flowers here and there. Tsuzuki had fun pointing out the ones he grew too, and ones he wished he had. "Before you go you can take some with you," Hisoka would say when he pointed these out.

"Where are the forget-me-nots?" Tsuzuki asked as their hands became full with flowers. The sun was hot on their shoulders, and it made the fragrance even stronger. Tsuzuki felt giddy compared to this morning.

Hisoka paused, and it was a purely fraught motion. "They only grow in the grave-yard," he said, glancing down the hill, where Tsuzuki could see the small fenced off area.

"Well then, come on!" Tsuzuki cheered, nearly tripping as he skipped down the hill.

"Wait! Tsuzuki!"

The path was even more slippery with the mat of decaying sakura petals, but Tsuzuki managed not to fall flat on his face. Not far behind, he could here Hisoka jogging to keep up. Stopping just short of the gate, he didn't seem to give enough warning to the other, because Hisoka stumbled into his back.

Hisoka gripped the back of his shirt hard, and tugged him away from the gate. "Only family members are allowed inside," he puffed, still trying to catch his breath from running.

"Oh," Tsuzuki muttered in disappointment. Even from outside the fence he could see the patches of forget-me-nots that blanketed the graves. The ground was level though, so Tsuzuki reasoned that he could still watch from the fence.

"Ok, I'll just wait out here!" Hisoka relaxed visibly at this, and walked around him to enter through the gate.

"I'll be fast," he said. Tsuzuki watched as Hisoka crossed to a small grave, where the most flowers grew, and dug out a small patch of them. Carefully, he packed them into the pot with some dirt. It was cute, Tsuzuki thought, to see him on his knees in a traditional yukata, getting his hands dirty. He was as gentle with the flowers, as he was his mother, and Tsuzuki thought how nice it would be if he could have this kind of company in his _own_ garden.

Not soon after, Hisoka came back out of the grave-yard gate, wiping his hands onto the thin cotton shorts he wore under his yukata. Hisoka was smiling again, the sun seeming brighter in his hair. "Got 'em?" Tsuzuki asked, excited. Hisoka handed him the pot and he examined the blue flowers with zeal. "Great! Why don't we relax out here for a bit before going back?"

Hisoka shrugged, his expression going back to neutral. Tsuzuki wasn't fooled though, and he knew he had managed to lighten both their moods. Looking around to find a nice spot, he pointed to the large cherry tree on top of the next hill over. "What about over there?"

Hisoka looked to where he pointed and stiffened. "I don't like going over there," he said at Tsuzuki's questioning eyes. "It…doesn't give me a very good feeling." Hisoka shuffled his feet, afraid he might be laughed at for admitting not liking a place based on a _feeling_, but Tsuzuki understood perfectly.

"Then you're very smart. A lot of people ignore what their guts tell them." He gave a reassuring grin. "Where do you like to sit then?"

Hisoka nodded in the other direction, and they began to walk around the base of the hill where another cluster of sakura were growing. The wind wasn't as strong here, and the shade was thick and cool. They settled down at the base of the trunks, Tsuzuki sighing in comfort. It really felt like home, and he wasn't sure if it was the sakura or the company. Everything just felt so right.

"About this morning…thank you. I know you didn't have to help me, but I really am…grateful you didn't tell my father." Hisoka said self-consciously.

"You're welcome. I understand what it can be like to just be having a bad day…Sometimes it's better when people just let it alone." Tsuzuki knew that well. That was why he liked to hide it when he was upset, because sometimes people just didn't know when to let it go. Besides, he was sure that whatever really had happened that morning, Hisoka wasn't ready to share it with him, or anyone.

"When I came to the bath this morning…was that you having a bad day?" Hisoka questioned tentatively.

Tsuzuki stiffened for a moment, but then smiled fondly. "A bad morning. It's over now."

"Good."

They fell easily back into a companionable silence. All there was, was the rustle of tree branches, and summer insects buzzing. This was a good place to sit, Tsuzuki agreed, because it relaxed the person enough that the mind wandered effortlessly. It was a good ten minutes later before Hisoka broke their quiet, almost speaking his own thoughts.

"There aren't many people here, not any decent company anyway, so I usually come out here to think."

"Am I decent company?" Tsuzuki asked.

"You're getting there," was the sarcastic reply. Tsuzuki beamed.

"I'd be even better company if there was dessert tonight. You should have a talk with the cooks," Tsuzuki hinted in a wheedling voice.

"My father and I don't really like sweets."

Tsuzuki gasped. "But they taste so good!"

There was a chuckle. "You just reminded me of a dream I had before you came. I don't usually remember my dreams…but it was really strange. There was a talking piece of pie in it."

"Was it apple? Apple is the best."

There was a thoughtful pause. "Yes, I think it was."

"We should have apple pie tonight. You're lucky you have such good dreams Hisoka." Tsuzuki thought about his own dreams, which were never that sweet. It was a bitter thought, but Tsuzuki didn't want to think about sad things. It felt good out here, and he wanted to keep that while it lasted. Nothing good ever lasted for him.

"They aren't always good," Hisoka admitted quietly. "It's why I have trouble sleeping."

"I can understand that."

"But usually I can't remember what they are about, just a general sense if they were good or bad when I wake up. My mother used to tell me The Story of O-Tei, and say I was dreaming about the person I belonged with," Hisoka continued.

"O-Tei! I remember that story! It came out when I was little, and my sister used to read it to me." Tsuzuki perked up. "Your mother must be a real romantic."

Hisoka sighed. "Idiot, it came out well before you were born, in 1904. You don't look one-hundred to me." Tsuzuki was happy that Hisoka didn't take back his idiot comment this time. It showed that he was being more relaxed around him.

Tsuzuki laughed it off, wondering what Hisoka's reaction would be if he told him he'd been four when the story had been published. He'd have to be a bit more careful with what he said, he chided himself. "Oops. But I really did hear it before! I think your mother has a very nice way of looking at things."

"Yeah, she does." The sad lilt to that voice sounded shy, but reminiscent. "But I think you have to have dreadful karma to be born into the Kurosaki family. We have notoriously bad health."

"You do?" Tsuzuki asked. "Is that why your father thinks you are cursed?"

"Mm," Hisoka hummed noncommittally.

"You don't seem cursed to me," Tsuzuki thought aloud. "I think you're much too nice to be. Why would you think that?"

Hisoka shrugged, sitting up, and brushing sakura petals from his hair. "It doesn't matter," he spoke sharply, then softened his tone. "Cursed or not, people die. Come on, let's bring these back to the house," Hisoka said picking up his flowers.

They walked back in silence, but Tsuzuki's mind wasn't silent. A million thoughts were running through, and without even noticing his own precaution, his shields were held firmly in place.


	14. Chapter 13

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: This was written at four in the morning. Excuse all insanity.

**Chapter 13**

Hisoka found that the company of another could be enjoyable. It wasn't that he hated people, although he certainly never like them, but he'd never had a person who had genuinely _wanted _to spend time with him like Tsuzuki did. It was strange at first, making conversation, and just being with the other man. He still picked up odd feelings now and then, and if they touched, he couldn't be spared some sort of peek into Tsuzuki's head. But since the bath, things had been better.

Tsuzuki liked picking flowers together, and they often took the pot of forget-me-nots out with them to get a bit of sunlight. They didn't wilt.

At night, Tsuzuki would join him for reading, although Hisoka had to catch Tsuzuki up with what was happening in the book, since he'd missed a few chapters. It was a companionable silence that Hisoka was growing accustomed to. Of course Tsuzuki almost always fell asleep while Hisoka read, but now he was smart enough to poke Tsuzuki awake with the nudge of the book spine, instead of his hand. Tsuzuki always whined that he was a 'meanie' for doing that.

Hisoka still refused to let Tsuzuki walk him back to his room at night.

It was such a pleasant change from how he had spent that last two years of his life, that Hisoka almost felt guilty for being glad Tsuzuki had come. After all, if his mother hadn't been ill, then he wouldn't have been there at all. That's where his thoughts often turned complicated, but overall, Hisoka thought it was good. So very good.

When Hisoka woke that morning, his steps were considerably lighter, and it was difficult _not_ to smile. Somehow he managed. The thought of being caught, being _happy_, because of a certain amethyst-eyed assistant, wasn't even remotely appealing.

It was bad enough that the housemaids seemed to have created a fan club of sorts for the doctor and assistant. Hisoka would often catch snippets of conversation about whether long blond curls, or tall, dark, and handsome, was a better catch. It was disturbing, because Hisoka had to _actually_ stop himself once from adding, that it was the _eyes _that mattered.

Besides the point, he thought, because their girlish obsessive-ness made it perfectly clear how one shouldn't act if they didn't want to be sickening. Not that that was a problem after all, because his joy was strictly of the friendly nature, not over which man would look better in a yukata.

The giggling in the Kurosaki house, was destined to worsen, because tonight just happened to be the most important festival of the summer. Hisoka would have liked to have forgotten. Playing representative Kurosaki to the village was never a picnic, and Hisoka always found it worse because the village women liked to vie for his attention, as if they actually _cared_ for him more than his family name. It was superficial, and monotonous. He wasn't at all looking forward to it.

'Honor above all,' he'd repeat in his head.

Breakfast that day, as usual, was an official affair. His father was seated at the head of the table with Hisoka to his right. Watari was talking about his mother's blood results and how they were normal, but Hisoka didn't know how normal, normal could be, when Tsuzuki was radiating doubt like that. But then again, it could be because none of the food on the table was made with more than fifty-percent sugar at the moment.

The predicament was remedied when the cook herself came out with a basket of fresh-baked pastries. Like every other female under their employ, the cook had been more than taken with Tsuzuki when he'd gone into the kitchen after his first week there and requested an apple pie. The standard of cooking had really taken a dive after that, and with every meal, the cook made sure to make something the sweet-tooth would like.

"Kisa, you're the best!" he practically squealed, accepting the basket. The cook smiled, a crimson blush on her cheeks.

"I'm glad to see that my staff is taking such good care of our honored guests," Nagare said in a way that made Hisoka question if he liked it at all. Perhaps he too was unnerved by the high-strung feminine haze that had taken over.

Tsuzuki was too busy drooling over a mouth full of pastry to make any sort of intelligent reply. Hisoka allowed himself to roll his eyes, realizing that since his father stubbornly persisted on covering his own eyes, he was free to make as many childish gestures as he wanted. Besides, Tsuzuki always seemed to brighten with amusement when he did.

As breakfast finished, and Tsuzuki excused himself from Watari to join Hisoka as was now custom, he wondered just how this had really happened. Despite liking the man initially, Hisoka had spent the first week in dread of having to spend more than a few moments at a time in the same room with him. He'd been fearful of touch, emotions, images, any foreign bit that he abnormally absorbed.

The experience in the bath _should _have pushed him farther from liking him. It had been beyond frightening…but, it had also revealed a moment of conviction. He'd been loathe to let the other think he hated him--to let him wallow in such disturbingly dark emotions. He had actually _cared_.

But really it was what he could remember of that dream that made him certain. He couldn't _forget_ the warmth and longing. There was an insuperable truth about that dream. There was a connection, and Hisoka was just too curious to let it rest.

Besides, obviously abnormal wasn't so out of place in this family, and as long as only he knew about it, then what was so wrong with reveling in the one connection he had with another person? It was shockingly _addicting_. He liked knowing Tsuzuki's emotions, because it confirmed that he really did _enjoy_ their time together. It told him when he was lying, and when he was truthful. It made Hisoka feel like he had a special key to a marvelous discovery that no one else would ever by privy to.

The pain that had first accompanied the use of his strange new power, had lessened somewhat, unless that is, he reached too deep. It was taxing in a way, but worth it. Hisoka had never been able to feel so sure in any of his relationships before. Save but his mother, saying or doing the wrong thing had always been one of his greater fears.

"Hisoka, you'll get little worry lines if you think so hard!" Tsuzuki jolted him back to reality with his booming voice. Snapping back to awareness, he gave a paranoid glance to the breakfast table. His father hadn't left yet, and he'd probably heard the loud exclamation. He was sure he'd get hell for allowing the slip in etiquette later. For now, he settled with a glare for Tsuzuki, and walking from the dining room. As usual, Tsuzuki followed him.

"I will _not _get worry lines, and you should be more careful how you address me," Hisoka said shortly as he sat down on the wall of one of the flower beds.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki held out one of the scones he'd hidden in his pocket during breakfast. "Want one? It'll make you feel better!"

"After they've been in your pocket?" he asked incredulously, and more than peeved that Tsuzuki had ignored his previous statement. "No thank you."

"Come on! I wrapped them up, and they taste sooooo good." He popped part of one into his mouth to prove the point. Purple eyes closed for a moment, pure pleasure undulating down his features. A contented hum drifted from his throat as he swallowed. Oblivious of Hisoka's slightly wide-eyed stare, he promptly licked any remaining crumbs from his fingers. Tsuzuki looked like the cat who got the cream.

Hisoka snorted, a sound of disapproval, even while he blushed. "No thanks."

"Hisoka, you're so grumpy today." Tsuzuki pouted, but the concern was real. Hisoka was getting used to that. "Did you have a bad night?"

Hisoka had found that Tsuzuki also had trouble sleeping sometimes, and less than pleasant dreams. Even if they never really discussed the contents, asking about how the other slept was becoming a pattern, one which was an invitation to discuss anything bothering the other if they wanted.

"No," Hisoka replied truthfully. "But I won't be so lucky tonight," he continued sulkily.

Curiosity and more concern. "Really, why?"

"_The_ summer festival is tonight."

"WAAAHHH!!" Excitement, enough to nearly knock Hisoka over, flew at him full force. "But festivals are so much fun! How could you possibly be mad about that!?"

"Calm down!" Hisoka reprimanded. "It isn't that I don't like festivals themselves, but I have to represent the family, and I end up spending the whole evening talking to people I don't care about, trying to be polite. It's really dull." Hisoka frowned. He avoided the villagers as much as possible, but this was the one time of the year that he couldn't shirk off his duties as a Kurosaki. After all, the festival was in honor of _his _family.

"Come on, I'm sure it can't be that bad," Tsuzuki tried to sooth his temper. "I'll go with you!" The thought of going to the festival with Hisoka made Tsuzuki's amiable mood skyrocket, and suddenly there was a hand tugging on his yukata sleeve. "I can, can't I?"

Hisoka hung his head. "Do what you want, but I won't have any time to entertain you." The festival might have been nice if he could actually enjoy it with a friend, but he hadn't had a fun festival experience since he was little. His father used to carry out the delegation, and his mother would take him around to the different booths. Now his father didn't venture out into public.

"Festivals are so great. There is Botamochi, Sekihan, Anpan, Dango…" (1) Hisoka sighed into his hand. Was sugary snacks all that Tsuzuki could think about? He wondered if the man wasn't spun of sugar, and would melt in the rain. The image of that dream came back, and he rejected the idea.

"And Hanabiramochi, Imagawayaki, Kompeito, and ooh, there will be Kakigori too!" Tsuzuki continued to rattle off lists of food items, and Hisoka resolutely ignored him. Otherwise, he might have throttled the man.

qpqpqpqpqp

The servants hadn't wasted any time either apparently. Convening shortly after dinner, the female fan club gathered to adorn both Watari and Tsuzuki with two of his father's best yukata. It was an ungraceful ambush of flying clothes, and girlish squeals. Both men barely stumbled out alive, dazed expressions on green faces. Hisoka was smart enough to evade all persons of the opposite sex until he had changed into the yukata of his own choosing.

Miya (the winner of a questionable raffle over who would be able to escort the two lovely doctors), joined Hisoka in the entry hall. It wasn't long after, that Tsuzuki walked in with Watari in tow. The latter was wearing a pale coral yukata, that was only masculine in its simple striped pattern. Hisoka was slightly distressed about the small ball of feathers hovering over the man's shoulders, but decided not to comment.

It was a mistake to even take note of what Tsuzuki was wearing.

He could remember only seeing his father in this yukata once, and it hadn't looked even vaguely as flawless as it did now. Somehow the dark sapphire cotton, with burgundy lotus blooms, made Tsuzuki's eyes more prominent. The fabric hung loosely over his chest, his father having a bigger build, and more skin than what could be considered proper was showing. The entire design had the undesired affect of ones eyes traveling straight from his bare chest to his wine-colored gaze.

Hisoka was mortified to find that he wasn't exempt from said reaction. Blushing was no longer optional. Silently he cursed Miya and her fan girl cohorts for noticing, and giving Tsuzuki's eyes their due respect. He asked himself, _and just why am I acting like such an idiot?_

Regaining his composure, and unsure what to make of losing it in the first place, Hisoka greeted him, "sensei." Miya was present and he couldn't afford Tsuzuki to forget appropriate addresses while with the townspeople.

Not as stupid as he might look, Tsuzuki caught the hint, and replied with a hint of amusement, "Young Master."

"We should get going now." Stepping into a set of geta, Hisoka led the group out the front entrance, and to the road that would lead to the small festival. They walked for a bit that way, before Hisoka drifted back to be with the others. They were already in conversation. Sadly, it was about food.

"Mochi is a staple dessert Tsuzuki, I totally agree. But personally, my favorite is uiro. Sweet but simple," Watari was saying merrily. Festival cheer was contagious.

"You too doctor?" Hisoka asked. "Just where did you come from that dessert is so important?"

"But desert is important everywhere, His--uh, Kurosaki-san." Tsuzuki fumbled for a moment.

"Tsuzuki is that your motto?" Watari laughed at his friends momentary mistake. Watari leaned in towards Hisoka like he was going to share a secret, but spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "Tsuzuki is known to spend whole paychecks on new dessert shops now and again. Eating himself out of house and home!"

"Watari!" Tsuzuki whined. "Don't be so mean!"

"A man who likes sweets is cute! Maybe you'll rub off on Young Master. He hasn't had cake in years," Miya added in. Tsuzuki stumbled at this.

"WHAT!?" Hisoka found himself pinned down by an appalled stare. "That isn't true right? That can't even be possible…" Tsuzuki's lower lip was trembling like the thought alone was severe enough to reduce him to tears.

"I don't like cake…," Hisoka said steadily. Tsuzuki cried into Watari's shoulder the rest of the way to the festival.

The festival was one of the larger ones in the immediate area. Booths full of games and snacks were already busy taking customers. The air was filled with the delicious smell of food and Tsuzuki resumed his good mood as soon as it came within range. Sadly, and as much as Hisoka expected, they had barely stepped into the throng of people before he was spotted.

"Kurosaki-san! It's so good to see you! I hope you are doing well." The man that approached was short with copious tufts of white hair--on his chin that is. Hisoka could see his reflection in the man's balding head. The fact that he was flanked by two younger, and more attractive women, did nothing to impress Hisoka.

"Good evening Mayor. Thank you, I am doing very well." Hisoka passed into polite mode without even a twitch of his lips. In his head he was already grumbling about the stretch of night before him.

"Good. Good."

"I believe you remember Miya-kun. These two gentlemen," Hisoka introduced, "are our doctor, Watari-san, and his assistant, Tsuzuki-san."

"AH! Yes! I was so very pleased to hear about your arrival!" The older man bounced on his toes, widening his squinty eyes just enough to study them. "It was so good of you to come all the way out to the country like this. The village is forever grateful!"

Hisoka let the two-faced gratitude roll off him like water would oil. They were hollow words that Hisoka had learned to keep a courteous smile through. Watari and Tsuzuki seemed taken aback. "You're welcome…"

"The Kurosaki family is very important to the village!" the mayor continued.

"Such praise…," a coarse voice broke behind them. Hisoka turned and _just_ managed to keep his eyes from narrowing in distain.

"Iwao-san." Hisoka bowed politely. In truth he felt nothing but loathing for the man. He was disgusting, and without morals, always trying underhanded tricks due to his anger at losing the right to the family inheritance. Hisoka thought that it would have served him duly to have inherited the estate and family _responsibilities_. He certainly deserved it.

"Hisoka-_kun_," Iwao acknowledged, making anger swell under his skin. They weren't close, and he hardly saw Iwao as _his_ equal. It was insulting. Even if it was unwanted, the tension was sharp in the air. "We should have a word. It's been so long since my brother has _invited _me to his home."

Hisoka swallowed the nasty reply that struggled in his throat. "I wouldn't want to disregard _family_." Hisoka bowed to the mayor. "If you'll excuse me." He made sure to address this to not only the mayor, but Tsuzuki and Watari as well.

Hisoka walked away from the crowded area, and to a more secluded one, before turning towards his uncle. Iwao gave him a nasty smile. "How is your mother doing? Nagare has been very fuzzy about the specifics of her illness."

"She is doing well. We have a new doctor, so everything is taken care of," Hisoka stated coldly.

"A new doctor. I heard Dr. Hazama died in a rather nasty accident. Perhaps you should be more careful who you bring into the family home." Iwao peered down at him through his grimy glasses.

Hisoka's teeth were grinding together with the force of the words he was containing. "Yes, I suppose his death came as much of a shock to _you _as everyone else," he bit back. They stared each other down for a moment, accusations and threats left unsaid in the air.

"I'm only concerned, Hisoka-_kun_. After all, with both Rui and Nagare in such ill-health, that only leaves _you_. Your well-being is the _family's_ concern after all." His uncle's words left a bitter taste in his mouth, and Hisoka had to make sure he didn't outwardly show the small fission of fear they caused. He'd had his suspicions of course, about what had happened to Dr. Hazama and his mother's file, but nothing more. He didn't like to think that his uncle was desperate enough to attempt anything towards _him_.

"Then you will be delighted to know that both my mother and father are in fine health, and _I've_ never been better. The family has _nothing_ to be concerned about." Hisoka made it clear that he wouldn't be intimidated.

Iwao let out another one of those smarmy smiles. "That reminds me, you'll be turning eighteen in the fall, now won't you? I suppose you'll be taking a wife then."

Hisoka couldn't contain his surprise this time, his eyes widening by a fraction. Iwao's grin broadened at getting a reaction out of him. _Damn it_, Hisoka cursed himself. But a wife? He shouldn't have been so surprised, after all, the family always married young to carry out the family name before the curse would smite them. Still, the thought was strange to him, and he realized that he'd spent the last two years so worried over his mother, that he hadn't even considered the idea. "That is up to my father."

It would be arranged for him…Hisoka internally frowned. For all the love stories his mother had read him, Hisoka doubted that whatever suitable candidate his father chose, would be someone he could love. His own father's attempt at marrying for the right reasons had failed miserably, and from the shady gleam in Iwao's eyes, he remembered that too. "I guess it is."

Another stare down, then, "well if you'll excuse me, there are more people I'm expected to great before the evening is over. This was an…enlightening conversation."

Iwao grunted in response, and they gave each other a quick bow.

(1) This is pretty much just a list of some Japanese festival snacks and sweet snacks. It's not really important what each one is (a.k.a I'm lazy).

P.S. I totally wouldn't mind Tsuzuki in that yukata. Oh, and who wants to kick Iwao in the balls? I mean talk about moron. Who in their right mind would _want_ to be the Kurosaki heir?


	15. Chapter 14

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: And this is precisely why Watari and Tsuzuki should not be left to work a case together when alcohol is within reach. Enjoy. (written at five in the morning…)

**Chapter 14**

Tsuzuki didn't like being left behind to converse with the mayor, not after the way Hisoka had reacted to Iwao. It was obvious that Hisoka disliked the man, if that was a strong enough word to describe the hostile atmosphere between the two. It wasn't much work to connect the dots, and Tsuzuki distinctly recalled the 'family tension' Miya had mentioned. Miya also seemed apprehensive about letting them go off to have a private conversation. It was only Watari who decided to take full advantage of their newest source of information.

"I am aware that the Kurosaki's are a prominent family in the area, but pardon me for being so surprised at just how important they are to the community," Watari said pulling out his most cultured act.

"Surprised? Didn't you know?! This whole festival is dedicated to the Kurosaki family!" Tsuzuki was immediately attentive, for the _moment_, forgetting about Hisoka's absence. Watari was just as interested.

"No, I believe I missed that little bit of background."

"Well I'm sure Miya-kun could fill you in. _Everyone_ knows the story." The mayor bowed. "Please enjoy the festivities." The mayor and his entourage retreated to greet more guests.

"So Miya," Watari began, edging just close enough to make the girl blush. "I'd be interested in hearing this story. It must be pretty important for the Master's family to warrant a whole festival in their name."

Miya cast her eyes down, but decided to indulge them. She took a deep breath, staring down at her shoes. "The ancestor of the Kurosaki family was a hero who saved the village long ago. Back then, a horned snake demon named Yatonokami lived here. His horns had the power to bring disease and drought. The people suffered terribly. Every summer the people would bring Yatonokami a sacrifice to be drowned in the marsh." She frowned but continued, "nobody dared disobey the god…except one man--the first Kurosaki. His name was Ren. As the chief samurai of the village, Ren confronted Yatonokami all by himself. He wanted to free the villagers from the terrors of death, disease, and starvation. And to this day the Kurosaki are revered as a family of heroes. After a death match lasting seven days and nights…Ren defeated Yatonokami on the morning of the eight day."

Tsuzuki blinked in surprise. Miya finished quickly, her voice rising, "but unlike Buddha, Yatonokami damned his foe! It put a curse on Ren and all his seed. Even now centuries later, the Kurosaki all die young in strange accidents or from mysterious diseases."

Watari frowned. "Is that what people believe of Rui or Nagare?"

"They don't know that the Master is ailing, nor the severity of the Mistress' condition!" She looked alarmed, but then came back to herself. "But even so…illness has always followed the Kurosaki family," Miya whispered. "Regardless," she blurted, "please do all you can to help the mistress! The Young Master would be so heart broken if she were to die!"

"We'll do our best, Miya," Tsuzuki assured her.

"Oh, thank you." She smiled meekly. "But what horrible talk! Please forgive me. This is a festival, you should be enjoying yourselves."

Tsuzuki put on his brightest smile, even while the new information simmered in the back of his mind. "You're right! Let's hit the booths!!"

"We can play games!" Watari exclaimed.

"I'll win you a prize Miya," Tsuzuki interrupted.

"And we can drink 'til we drop! It's been forever since the trip to Hokkaido!" Watari cheered, his fist pumping In the air.

"We'll gorge ourselves! Ready Watari?" Tsuzuki asked, getting into his battle stance. "We only have this one night. We gotta make it count!"

"Ah…gentlemen?" Miya asked, getting worried.

"Ready!!"

qpqpqpqpqp

Tsuzuki sat with his back to the base of a maple tree, his butt getting wet on the apparently not-so-dry ground. In one hand he held a large wad of cotton candy on a stick, while the other was wrapped around a bottle of some kind of alcoholic beverage. At some point he had actually known what he was drinking, but now it eluded him. He alternated between a bite of sugary goodness, and a swallow of the bitter drink.

Watari sat besides him, various snacks resting in the lap of his yukata. Likewise, he held a bottle which he was busy draining. 003 had long since flown off, apparently disgusted by her owner's behavior. (Miya had scattered with the excuse of rejoining Hisoka). The two of them had walked into a patch of trees along the edge of the festival when they'd tired themselves of the booths. They'd smuggled as many goods away as they could carry, and then hidden themselves where they could talk in peace.

Tsuzuki paused, pink sugar melting on his lips. "It's been a long time since I've had fun like this…" He followed the statement with another sip of alcohol.

"Tatsumi would cut my budget for a year if he knew we were drinking on a case." Watari stuck something in his mouth and chewed, not really paying attention to what it was. He smirked evilly. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Tsuzuki slumped back. "I wish I could have gotten Hisoka to join us. No wonder he hates festivals so much; he's been talking to old guys the whole time!"

Watari drained his bottle, a pink line spreading over the bridge of his nose and cheeks. He reached for a new one. "Ah…Tsuzuki, too bad hanky-panky is against the rules, huh?"

Tsuzuki turned his head and blinked a few times stupidly, the words processing slowly. "Wha' you mean Watari?"

"I'll admit I didn't know you liked them so young and pretty…" Watari struggled with the new bottle's cap, ending up smacking himself in the face, and getting his hands slopped with foam. "I always liked the more mature…broad shoulders…" Watari cheered as he successfully opened the bottle.

Tsuzuki blushed. "It's not like that," he defended.

"Uh, huh." Watari turned his head to smirk at his partner. "You should have seen the way he looked at you in the entrance hall."

"The way he was looking at me?" Tsuzuki asked, a note of excitement making its way into his voice.

"Not like that huh?" Watari laughed, accidentally spitting his drink out.

"Watari you jerk!" Tsuzuki shouted, irritated. He took another long drink from the bottle in his right hand, and followed it with a bite of cotton candy. "What about you and Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki shot back.

"What about it?" Watari waggled a finger back and forth. "I told you that I liked them mature…and Tatsumi always looks good in a suit." Watari laughed again. "Not that you'll ever see him in anything else."

"I was wondering why you were blowing up your lab so much lately," Tsuzuki said wonderingly. It felt like a lifetime since his own--he wasn't sure he'd call it a relationship--but it had been many years since their partnership. Tsuzuki could understand Watari's attraction, and personally thought the idea of them getting together was a good one. He hadn't been right for Tatsumi, but Watari seemed the perfect man for the job.

"He gets to yell at me for a couple of hours, but I find it kinda cute." Watari sighed. "Too bad he's as dense as a rock when it comes to flirting. I could probably lie on his desk naked, and he would just continue complaining about me going over budget."

Tsuzuki winced at the metal image invading his head. "Gah, Watari. You're such a pervert." The wide grin on his face showed that he really found it amusing.

"So have you gotten anything out of him? I haven't had much luck with Nagare." He effortlessly switched the conversation away from himself. Watari was already half done with his new bottle, his words slurring a little. Tsuzuki had consumed twice as much that night, but was just beginning to get drunk.

"He doesn't like talking that much… He always changes the subject when I ask about something he doesn't like." Tsuzuki slumped down further, until he was practically laying down. "Do you think they are really cursed?"

"By a big snake demon?" Watari shrugged. "It sounds like country folklore to me."

"Probably."

"I heard that none of the Kurosaki's have lived passed forty," Watari said abruptly. "I suppose it could just be bad genes…more susceptible to illness or disease like Miya said."

"I don't think it's fair," Tsuzuki said quietly. "Hisoka is so nice, but both his parents are sick. If they died he'd be all alone in that big house." Tsuzuki frowned, emptying his last bottle of alcohol and barely feeling coherent.

"If his parents are meant to die, then they'll die Tsuzuki," Watari pointed out logically. "It doesn't matter if he's nice or not."

Tsuzuki was silent. It had been bothering him since Hisoka had first mentioned that he must have had bad karma to be born a Kurosaki--as though he really did believe he was cursed. But it was understandable, Tsuzuki thought, because it wasn't a life he'd want. Hisoka had been raised to be an aristocrat, his father an apparently distant figure. His mother seemed nice enough, but she was sick now wasn't she? Had been for the last two years and Hisoka…Hisoka, tried to take care of her on his own. He lived in a house with only servants and a man that Tsuzuki was rather scared of (no matter if Watari did try and compare him to Tatsumi). Hisoka had made his disdain for the villagers clear. He was alone. Tsuzuki understood _that_.

But it wasn't fair. Hisoka was kind, and he hadn't done anything to deserve a life like that, as Tsuzuki had.

Tsuzuki felt a sort of connection to the young Kurosaki heir. He couldn't name it, but he also couldn't brush it aside. From the moment he'd laid eyes on him he'd known that there was something there. Even as he tried to solve the case they'd been assigned, he was also busy trying to unravel this other mystery: Hisoka.

"Tsuzuki?"

"Hmm?"

"Hisoka is human. We're Shinigami working undercover on a case involving his mother." Tsuzuki expected him to continue, but that was all Watari said.

"I know."

"Do you? I just wanted to make sure you don't…get too close."

Close…yes, Tsuzuki wanted to get close. Hisoka was a secret, as his name implied. He was pure and beautiful. Tsuzuki felt as if he was on the edge of some significant discovery when ever they were together. It tugged at the back of his mind, and made him wonder. There was a helpless attachment there, just as Watari feared, but Tsuzuki couldn't stop himself. He was mesmerized by something even he didn't understand.

And really, he didn't even understand what he was thinking _now_. Tsuzuki hiccupped drunkenly. "Watari, we should head back, or I might fall asleep here," Tsuzuki said, avoiding Watari's statement. He'd been avoiding Watari's prods more and more lately.

They stumbled to their feet, clutching the tree for support. "Ugg, Tsuzuki I feel kinda dizzy." Watari grabbed the sleeve of Tsuzuki's yukata.

Tsuzuki glanced at the swaying ground and then at Watari's hand. Deciding it was the best idea, he grabbed hold of the blond, and they staggered forward together, using each other for support. "It's a long walk back to the estate…," Tsuzuki grumbled.

"Take a short cut…I don't know how long I can stay upright like this," Watari confessed as they dragged themselves up the dirt road.

"We might get lost." Tsuzuki really didn't want to get lost wandering in the woods. He'd never had a good sense of direction and he was sure he was drunk enough that whatever he did have, had fled. As it was, he was having a hard time convincing his brain that the ground was down and the sky was up.

"Nah, just go straight at that bend, and it will bring us up to the side of the estate." Watari tried to point, but ended up nearly tripping as it disrupted his balance. He tightened his grip.

Tsuzuki groaned. This would take forever! Tossing it up to luck, they left the path and headed straight. It brought them just around the rim of the lake, and through the open field just east of the estate. Fireflies were floating above the tall grass in little spots of blinking light.

"Isn't that pretty?" Tsuzuki said with a slight slur. Watari nodded silently before yanking them forward. Tsuzuki thought they should speed up before he passed out cold, but his feet refused to work faster than their slow shuffling pace.

It took a good twenty minutes before they staggered and pulled each other to one of the sloping hills that surrounded the Kurosaki estate. "This is taking forever!" Watari groaned. "Why is this stupid fence here?!"

Tsuzuki drunkenly stared at the fence for a full minute. "We should walk around…"

"That would take longer!" Watari shouted sharply, dragging Tsuzuki to a gate. "If we walk through, then we just have to clear that hill, and then we'll be at our room."

That made sense, Tsuzuki thought, but something nagged at him that they should go around. His thoughts, as slow as syrup, didn't want to divulge any clues. "Mkay…," he conceded.

The gate swung open, and Tsuzuki took a few steps forward before walking into something. He staggered back, causing Watari to almost topple over. "Tsuzuki what are you--"

"Watari…what's that?" Tsuzuki asked, stock-still. His eyes were riveted on the large stone that was protruding from the ground, the very thing he'd walked into.

"Ahh…" Watari squinted, his alcohol consumption apparently affecting his vision. "A grave marker…?"

Tsuzuki blanched. "Oh, no! We aren't supposed to be in here! Hisoka said only family was allowed!" Stupidly, he tried to move them back towards the gate, but Watari stood rooted to the spot.

"So. He isn't here," the blonde said determined. "We're just walking through. No one will know we've been inside."

"But. But…" Tsuzuki pouted as Watari tightened his grip on his arm and all but threw him forward.

"Get moving, or I'll leave you to crawl back to the room alone," Watari threatened evilly.

Tsuzuki nodded, his world taking a brief spin, and they began to navigate around the markers. It wasn't an easy task. Tsuzuki would have likened it to navigating a mine-field with one's eyes closed. It didn't help that Watari was beginning to lose control over his legs, his tolerance lower than the other shinigami's. "Watch it Watari--"

"Arrragh!" Watari gave a rather undignified yelp as they both fell over, limbs sticking each other in painful places.

"Watari, is that your foot…?"

"Ack!" They scrambled for a moment before finally separating from the tangle. Tsuzuki rubbed the back of his neck, where he'd landed on Watari's elbow. Both their yukatas were disheveled, and Watari's hair was covered in blue dots.

"Watari…hold still. You got stuff in your hair." Leaning forward, Tsuzuki combed some of them out, before inspecting one between his fingers. "Forget-me-nots…?" Looking around them, he saw that they had landed in one of the biggest patches of forget-me-nots. In fact, this was where he'd watched Hisoka dig up some flowers for his mother.

"Just great," Watari said sarcastically while shaking out his hair.

Tsuzuki traced his eyes along the ground, until they landed on the right spot. There was a small marker only a few feet away, with fresh flowers resting before it. He'd seen Hisoka bring flowers here once before…and he recalled Watari mentioning that Nagare visited the graveyard frequently. He'd assumed it must have been his father's marker--Hisoka's grandfather.

"Just a moment Watari…," Tsuzuki whispered, crawling on his haunches to get a better look at the marker, because that couldn't be right. Hisoka had alluded to the fact that he didn't like his grandfather. He wouldn't bring flowers for someone he hated…

Nearly falling on his face, as his equilibrium failed him yet again, his nose came down within an inch of the stone marker, the cloth that covered it fluttering to the ground. Crossing his eyes, he read the name: _Hisoka_. "Watari…?" Tsuzuki called in a choked voice. Numbly he pulled back from the marker, his eyes still trained on it.

"What?"

"Can you come look at this? Please?" He could hear Watari crawling up besides him, but he didn't dare look away from the marker. "Do you see…what that says?"

Again, Watari committed to his squinting act, even going so far as to bend forward by a whole foot. "Uh…Was Hisoka named after a relative?"

Tsuzuki swallowed. "Watari, look at the date."

There was a silence, and then Watari moaned, placing a hand over his mouth. "Tsuzuki, if we don't get out of here right now, then I'm going to puke all over this grave!"

"WAAAH! Watari! Hold it in!!" Tsuzuki screamed hysterically, as he hauled his friend to his feet. "Hold it in!"

qpqpqpqp

Watari was out cold before they even made it back to the room, leaving Tsuzuki to drag him the rest of the way inside. They made it, by whatever blessing it may have been, and no sooner had Tsuzuki relieved himself of his burden, then he was passing out on his own futon.

Sleep rolled over him like a cold hand, dreamless at first, and then insistent. It was edging towards morning when the dream hit.

Tsuzuki was kneeling on the ground, soft and moist, ruining his trouser legs. His skin felt chilled, the prickling of frost bite starting on his fingertips. Around him were thousands of azure flowers with their faces turned and bitter. Tsuzuki didn't know where he was, but it was dark and lonely.

"It is_, lonely _I mean," a voice broke, smooth like the wind.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, looking up from the never ending sea of forget-me-nots. He was there too, kneeling in the same polite pose he used at the dinner table, feet tucked neatly under him. He was wearing a pale blue yukata, bound tightly, and unraveling at the hem into even more flowers.

"You won't forget me, will you, Tsuzuki?" Emerald eyes gleamed at him through the dark, incandescent and sharp. Hisoka looked so pale, his skin appearing to glow translucent… "You won't leave me?"

Tsuzuki swallowed. Hisoka was human. He was a Shinigami sent to investigate his mother. "Hisoka, I won't forget you…"

Those eyes narrowed, as soul-searching as ever. They were always like that, a gaze that could spear into your heart, and make you feel bare. "You will. Just like them."

"No, no Hisoka!" Tsuzuki shook his head, fists clenching in his lap. They felt sticky, damp, and his eyes flickered down, palms facing up. Crushed flowers slid from them, red dripping from the petals, trailing the lines of his fingers, and splashing on his knees.

"Everyone does. It's my curse." Shaking, Tsuzuki returned his gaze to Hisoka. The boy had an eerie smile on his face. Hisoka rarely smiled, Tsuzuki had taken note, and when he did, it was something fragile with its beauty. This though…this wasn't right. "My parents will leave, and so will you."

"You aren't cursed Hisoka! You shouldn't have to…be left alone." Tsuzuki clenched his jaw, a pressure building in the back of his eyes.

"It's how it has to be. A _monster_ like you should understand what it is like to be left alone." Tsuzuki's eyes widened in horror, his breath catching in his throat. "They'll all die, and you'll help. It's your job to take them away isn't it? You'll take everything away from me!" Hisoka's voice broke shrilly.

"No Hisoka! I'll save her!" Tsuzuki sobbed. "I promise!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Tsuzuki," his voice said coldly, and it resonated deep inside Tsuzuki like a proclamation from the gods. "My death…," the grave marker appeared between them as he spoke, "is inevitable."

"Don't," Tsuzuki begged.

"I'll die and it's all your fault! You're doing this! You monster!!" The hate was visible in those eyes--a sneer over his lips. "I trusted you, and you're going to leave me alone! Always alone…" The ground before the marker was crumbling, creating a gaping hole between them.

"Please Hisoka! I don't want to hurt you! Please!" Tsuzuki cried uncontrollably, his chest tightening. But it was a lie wasn't it? They'd come to take her. He'd ruin Hisoka's life. It _was_ all his fault! Hisoka…would be so lonely. "Please Hisoka…I don't want…to leave…"

"You will," he said deadly calm as the earth at his knees gave way. "You'll leave me all alone because you are too cowardly to stay…" Tsuzuki stared at those green eyes, so solemn.

"Hisoka…" Something…he could just recall something…

"I need you Tsuzuki," the voice came more stricken, almost as if spoken directly in his ear, "I don't want to be alone anymore…I can only stay, in your heart…Don't you leave me!"

"Hisoka!" The ground was falling, and Hisoka was being pulled down into that gaping grave. "No, Hisoka!!" He lunged forward, just catching that slender hand in his, the grip hard. "Please Hisoka! I won't let you fall!"

"I told you." Those eyes were digging into his. "Don't make promises you can't keep." He struggled, the blood on his hands making the hold slippery.

"Hisoka," he sobbed brokenly, "I'll stay. I will! Just don't go…"

"You've forgotten, and it'll be too late." And as the earth caved beneath him, Tsuzuki lamented…He'd forgotten.


	16. Chapter 15

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

**Chapter 15**

The early morning was cold. The grass was frosted so that it sparkled under the morning sun in its clear blue sky. Hisoka took a deep breath, pushing all his frustration into the delicate fold of his fingers. Archery was an art he'd been trained in from a very young age.

It was in his stance, feet firmly planted, no wider than his shoulders. His spine straight, shoulders square, Hisoka pulled back on the shaft of the arrow, bowstring growing taunt.

Archery was about focus, all muscles tight with anticipation, but moving with the precision of patience. Every stray thought had to be compressed into that fine metal point. Draw. Release. _Only relax your stance when you make your target_.

Bulls eye.

Hisoka chose a new arrow. He ignored the bright sun and glinting grass. In his fingers he held his Uncle's disgusting smile, and threatening words. The arrow was his father's aloof manner and shielded eyes. It was his mother's cell, her growing child, the dreams that kept him awake with empty memories. _And this curse_. Most of all this curse that continued to take everything away from him, isolate him, and eventually would kill him.

Draw. Eyes narrowed to that destination. Release.

It struck, next to its sisters, all his arrows planted in the circle at the center of the target. He sighed, shoulders relaxing as he lowered his bow. A deep breath calmed his nerves.

He was surprised when his placated anger was broken with awe, reverence, shock, worry --that he'll be angry because--… _I shouldn't bother him…_

Hisoka turned, a rather jerky movement compared to his grace from only moments before. Tsuzuki was behind him, still with some distance between, watching him. His face looked haggard and those eyes that showed admiration just barely concealed troubled nerves. Hisoka could feel it, the fear still clinging, and just held in check mourning.

"You're really good," Tsuzuki broke the silence. Hisoka couldn't help but feel pleased with the compliment. His father was always critiquing, never good enough in his eyes, and everyone else was mindless about their praise. This was genuine appreciation. "I know someone back home who does archery…but it doesn't look like that." _Fluid…amazing…_

Hisoka studied him closely. Tsuzuki always slept in, and that was why they always met after breakfast. This left time for Hisoka to have his morning practice. It was unusual that the man would be awake and dressed at this hour. The sun had just risen, and Hisoka recalled quite clearly the doctor's activities the previous night. Maya had told him that they had drank quite a bit, but Tsuzuki didn't look hung-over…just tired. "Why are you here?"

Tsuzuki lowered his eyes--unsure. Doubt tangled into the confusing foray of emotions he felt. He looked up with a falsely bright smile on his face. "I remembered that you practice in the morning, and the dojo was locked."

It didn't answer his question, but Hisoka realized he was being unfair. Tsuzuki was clearly upset. "Didn't sleep well last night?" He finally asked the magic question, the one they always opened their meetings with. Neither of them had yet to follow it by revealing what dreams they'd had.

Hisoka hadn't had a good night either. His dreams had been haunted by Iwao's taunting words--a knife being stabbed in his back. Tsuzuki frowned momentarily, his act broken. Shuffling his feet he admitted, "no, not really." Hisoka thought it a show of trust for Tsuzuki to admit that much, when he always tried so hard to pretend to be happy all the time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hisoka asked tentatively. He wasn't one who was well-trained at comforting people, but he could try. Tsuzuki's emotions moved turbulently. They said yes, while Tsuzuki said--

"No. I interrupted you. Could I…just watch for a while?"

Tsuzuki's eyes were desperate, blatantly insecure in a way that made Hisoka feel uncomfortable. Even if Hisoka hated being watched while practicing, as if he were being judged for every little move, the hope in that gaze was overwhelming. "Alright," he answered quietly. The happiness that then came from Tsuzuki was more blinding that any sun. Hisoka thought him a simpleton to allow his emotions to be swayed so easily. "Just a moment." He crossed the range to retrieve his arrows. On his way returning he observed the way Tsuzuki sat, his chin resting on the heel of his palm, one knee drawn up to support his elbow. He knew he must be upset, but it wasn't like Hisoka could force him to talk.

He was glad that he wasn't one to be distracted easily, because having violet eyes trained on him, emotions rushing like that, he was sure he'd miss every shot. Luckily they all made their mark, if a bit off center. He was relieved not to have embarrassed himself. Still, the tension in Tsuzuki was causing him to lose form, and really it was pointless to continue. "Was it that bad?" he blurted.

Tsuzuki started, not expecting for him to speak after such a big stretch of quiet. Hisoka could feel intense guilt, and more fear. "I…I don't know," Tsuzuki evaded. He swallowed and seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. "Would you hate me…If I couldn't save her?" he asked faintly. Almost _too _faintly--but Hisoka heard.

Hisoka's heart began to pound in his chest, and his eyes instantly hardened on Tsuzuki's downcast face. "What?" he asked swiftly, fearing where this was going. "Do you know something? Is she…?"

Tsuzuki shook his head. "I don't know." But the guilt was choking and Hisoka wanted to shout 'LIAR' at the top of his lungs.

"Then why would you ask--"

"Would you hate me?" The tone was fraught and suffering. Hisoka felt torn between answering and trying to badger the truth out of him.

"Tsuzuki I--"

He was stopped again, but this time not by Tsuzuki, but another voice.

"Tsuzuki!!" Watari was running across the lawn towards them. "Tsuzuki I'm glad I found you!" the man said cheerfully. Besides his curly hair looking frazzled, (although Hisoka wasn't sure if that was really unusual), he didn't look like he had a hangover either. What strange men…

"Watari?" Tsuzuki asked, his face slipping back into its genial mask. Hisoka wanted to yell at the doctor for interrupting them. He was sure he was about to discover something important, and Watari had to show up just then?

"I…uh, got a call from back _home_. I wanted to show you some _things_. Mind coming back to the room for a bit?" Watari was not the most subtle of people, Hisoka surmised after the statement. It didn't help that his curiosity was dying to know what was going on. He'd had the suspicion for a while that the Doctors knew more than what they were letting on, and this strange behavior was only spurring on the idea.

Tsuzuki's shoulders tensed slightly, and he gave Hisoka a fleeting glance. "_I'm sorry_. I'll see you…later."

Not waiting for a response, not that Hisoka knew what he'd say, Tsuzuki followed Watari away from the target range. Hisoka watched them go with a frustrated sort of anger settling in his stomach. Tsuzuki was just like the rest of them! Never telling him the truth…always hiding secrets…

"Bastard!" Hisoka growled, gripping his bow tightly. Everyone! They were all the same! Gritting his teeth, he took an arrow back into his hands.

He'd go another round.

qpqpqpqpqp

Breakfast was silent.

Hisoka refused to meet eyes with Tsuzuki, who sat across from him at the table. His father was to his right, but he was the most silent of specters if Hisoka ever seen one. His greetings and the way he ate were mechanical. Watari tried to persuade some conversation out of Tsuzuki, but he wasn't inclined for it either.

From where he sat, Hisoka could sense the guilt and anger radiating like two large hideous spines up the man's back. He couldn't even imagine the dark depression that hovered like a second skin and the sharp belief of _unfair_. This morning Tsuzuki had felt sad and vulnerable. Now, _now_ it was much worse. Much darker. Something had happened.

Hisoka would bet anything that Watari had told him another secret, something to be dreaded. Why else would Tsuzuki be stewing in such dark emotions?

Hisoka was determined not to care. Sure he wanted to know what it was they were hiding, but he couldn't outright demand it, or he'd never get an answer. He was angry, _hell _he was angry, but if his mother was on the line, then he would pry carefully. No matter how upset Tsuzuki seemed, it _wasn't_ his problem. If the man wanted to keep secrets, then let him. He could let the secrets fester in his hands for all Hisoka cared, and let them sting.

Hisoka pushed his plate away, half finished, and passed his gaze right by Tsuzuki and to the far wall. He wasn't even in the mood to be here.

"Hisoka," his father said calmly as the meal was winding down. "I would like you to join me for tea in my room when you are finished."

Hisoka's attention snapped to his side, wondering what his father could possibly want with him. On a day like this, he'd have a hard time acting polite, let alone being agreeable. Nagare sat straight, his jaw firmly set, giving no show of emotions. Typical.

"Yes father," he said, although reluctantly.

It was an excuse to avoid Tsuzuki at any rate, so he could count it as a blessing. He'd be cynical if he was already dreading spending any time with his _father_. It didn't have to be something bad…

Already finished, Hisoka stood, and his father replicated the action. Hisoka didn't say a word as he followed his father through the main house to where his room was located. It was some distance from Hisoka's, closer to the hall he regularly took to reach his mother's cell.

Inside, Hisoka was surprised to find tea already waiting for them. His father had planned this, and had a maid bring it in only minutes before. The water was still steaming. Trying to swallow the sudden sensation of doom that was settling over him, he sat down on one side of small square table, waiting for his father to do the same across from him.

"How did the festival go last night?" his father asked as he poured tea into both their cups. Hisoka wished to ask him to remove the blindfold over his eyes, but thought that it might be pushing his luck.

"Well. I greeted the family acquaintances," Hisoka replied accepting his cup.

"Anything new happening in the village that I'd be interested in?"

"No. Mrs. Naganuma had a child, but I believe you already heard about that." Hisoka took a sip from his tea. It had a light flavor, without any bitter aftertaste. An expensive blend.

"Yes I heard." He took a sip from his own cup before continuing in the same tone of voice. "I also heard that you spoke with Iwao."

Hisoka paused, eyeing his father before answering, "yes, I did."

"And what about?" He was calm giving no indication of a reaction to anything he was saying. Hisoka entertained the idea that he could very well say that he planned on dyeing his hair black and getting a tattoo, and his father would just sit there acting with indifference.

"He inquired about your and mother's health. He met the new doctor." Hisoka thought that that was all he really wanted to share of the conversation. He was sure that he must have gotten his information from Miya.

"Did you tell him?"

Hisoka felt his pride rise against the insinuation. "I told him that you were doing perfectly _fine_, and that mother's condition was nothing to be concerned about with the new doctor here."

His father's lips curved a little. "Very good."

Hisoka finished his cup and set it gently on the table. He was still waiting. This couldn't be all his father had wanted to know. He always asked what had happened at the festival the next day, but never over tea. Never in his room, _privately_.

"He didn't bring up anything else?" His father refilled his cup.

Hisoka thought carefully. It wasn't possible for his father to know the end of their conversation…but then again, if he did somehow, then he'd be in trouble if he lied. However, he refused to willingly bring up the topic of marriage. Not now. "Nothing of consequence."

Nagare frowned. "He has spoken with _me_, and it is not something I can ignore. To call attention to ourselves with the current situation would be unwise. You will be turning eighteen in the fall, and I'm sure you have put this to some consideration."

The cold feeling of ice being poured down his back, made Hisoka stiffen instantly. He knew? Iwao had been pressing the point during his visits? "Put what to consideration?" He feigned ignorance.

His father set down his tea and spoke firmly. "It is tradition that the heir to the Kurosaki name be married when they are of age."

"You haven't brought this up before. Is this because of Iwao?" Hisoka wanted to sound controlled, but it was hard.

"We must keep with tradition, Hisoka."

"Tradition? _You_ didn't marry by tradition," Hisoka said shortly.

"And look what that got me!" His father's voice was suddenly sharp. "You can take my mistake as an example. It is hopeless to resist the family."

"You loved her! That couldn't be a mistake," Hisoka countered defiantly. "I don't even know anyone. I'd be marrying a stranger! You can't be asking me to do this."

"I'm not asking. I've already arranged it with the girl's father."

The outrage snaked out of him like a fire. "You've chosen my _wife _without even _asking_ me?! Have I ever even met her?!" Hisoka's hands were shaking, and he slammed his cup back down on the table. "You hypocrite! After all you went through to marry for love, just because she _died_--"

"That is enough!" His father tore the fabric from his eyes, reptilian gaze flashing. "This is not up for discussion. As heir it is your duty to marry, your _duty_ to marry the girl of _my_ choosing. This is the way it has been since before you were born, and you will _not_ be exempt from the rules."

"The rules have brought you nothing but misery! Was that your excuse when you brought Mother into this house?! When she loved you so _dearly_ and all you could offer was your _damn_ rules, didn't you regret it in the least?" Hisoka swallowed. "I promised her I'd be _happy_. That I'd make my wife _happy_. I will _not_ put another through what you did to Mother! I refuse!!"

His father stood suddenly, towering over him. His eyes were slits, narrowed in rage. "You arrogant fool!" he seethed. "Look at me!"

Hisoka flinched at the harsh words.

"This is what the curse does," he continued in that deadly tone, unraveling the bandages from his hands to reveal scaly skin. "It slowly takes _everything_ from you, even your very self, until you die." He took a step towards his son. "Love means very little in the face of _this_. You are currently the only thing that stands between _this_ demon and the village. It is your duty to ensure our name continue. If that means marrying a stranger then so be it, but do not tell _me _what is _unfair_."

Hisoka stood as well, although it made up little of the height difference. He would not back down on this. "So you want me to suffer like you did? I've done everything I can to be respectable for this family! I've even resigned myself to this curse and that I won't live past my fortieth birthday at best, but you can't ask me to live what little time I do have suffering!"

"And if you wait?" his father questioned cruelly. "You waste so much of you time with Rui. You will never meet anyone living like this. Marriage cannot wait for you to figure your feelings out! She _will_ die Hisoka. _I'll_ die. Where will that leave you? The family?"

"I can't abandon my emotions like you!" Hisoka screamed, injustice coating the words. This was just so wrong. More wrong than anything he'd ever felt in his life, and he couldn't stand for it. No matter if he was being selfish or not, he couldn't allow this.

"I didn't raise you to be a self-centered brat!"

"Don't you dare!" Hisoka's eyes were set in an impressive glare. "I have always done everything you've asked! The perfect Kurosaki robot, to carry on the _insanity_ of this family. I ask for just one thing, _one_, and you accuse me of being self-centered?!"

"This is not something I can give, Hisoka. You must marry, and seeing as how you don't have any prospects of your own, you can't protest that candidate I've chosen."

"Father please, there is so much _wrong_ with this. Mother will never have gotten to meet her…or see the wedding. I don't even know the girls name. I can't do this. I _can't_." Hisoka nearly choked on his breath. He could feel the onset of panic right on the heels of his anger. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be his _life_.

Nagare frowned. "I'll give you a month." Hisoka's heart skipped a beat. "On one condition: hand me the key."

His limbs locked in place, mouth working for a few seconds without words coming out. The key? _His _key to his _mother's_ room? He'd found a way to make him stop seeing her! He'd known for a while that his father had wanted the visiting to stop, but Hisoka had never allowed him a reason the take his key away. The thought of not seeing her when he was all she really had was just…absurd.

And now he'd found a way…because Hisoka knew he couldn't live the rest of his life--even if it was short--married to a woman he didn't love. It would break his promise to himself and his mother. It was his only chance…A month. "My key?"

"If I'm going to give you time, then I don't want you distracted from your task. The only way to ensure that is to take your key. Of course I can't allow you to find just anyone, but I will provide you with a list of proper candidates, and you may try to find love with any of them. If you succeed then I will give you my blessing. If not, then you will marry the girl I have chosen, a month after your birthday. Are we clear?" His father locked eyes with him. This was truly his only option.

Pushing back the horror screaming in his ear, he lifted the chain from around his neck with shaky hands. Holding out the ancient key, he felt like he was signing away his soul to the devil for a wish that wasn't even worthy of such. He knew it was hopeless for him to find love…but he had to try.

"A month," Hisoka affirmed, dropping the key into his father's hand. Regret bloomed in his chest, but he buried it deep under determination. He couldn't fail.

Hisoka knew…that even if he couldn't visit his mother anymore, that wouldn't stop him from checking on her room. Key or no key he would make sure she stayed _safe_…Meanwhile, he would have to figure out how to open his heart to _someone._


	17. Chapter 16

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: Oh yes…wondering what Watari told Tsuzuki? Wondering about the whole marrying crap? (Don't worry too much. There will be no hetero in this story!! Mwahaha).

**Chapter 16**

Tsuzuki's heartbeat refused to return to normal. Realizing what he'd almost done, he felt like it was the biggest mistake he could've made. What if he did tell Hisoka the truth about his mother? About his dream? Did he expect the boy to just accept all that and still treat him as anything other than the killer he was?

Even if it was a lie…he'd rather keep Hisoka as his friend this way, instead of having him hate him. Somehow the idea of being hated, not by just anyone, but Hisoka, was an unbearable thought.

It must have been a sign that Watari stopped him, Tsuzuki thought. "What is it that you wanted to show me so urgently?"

"You'll see! This is just the evidence we've been waiting for!" Watari hurried them back to their room

Tsuzuki practically tripped over his own feet as they entered the door, not seeing the room as he'd left it an hour or so ago, but walking into a carbon copy of Watari's lab. The room before him was vast, with lab stations, equipment, and even Watari's treasured computer (of which 003 had already claimed for herself). "Wha…How?"

"Oh this? This is just a hologram. Thought it might make working easier. Solid enough." Watari demonstrated this fact by knocking his fist on the closest table.

Tsuzuki was stunned. He'd never known that Watari was capable of something like this. It was truly amazing. The shock of it almost made him forget the reason Watari had come to get him.

"So ready for the big news?" Watari asked enthusiastically. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet. Tsuzuki nodded. "Remember that sample I sent back to the lab? The scale?"

Tsuzuki had forgotten, but he thought that if he admitted that, then Watari might just smack him upside the head. He'd done it before. "Uh, yeah?"

"Well, I got the results back." Skipping to his computer, Watari poked at the screen. "Ta da!"

Tsuzuki glanced at the screen, looked at Watari, looked back at the screen, and back to Watari. "So are you going to explain this?"

"God you're old! You know you should really try to keep up with modern discoveries…You know there is this little thing called DNA now." Watari tapped his foot impatiently.

"I'm not stupid!" Tsuzuki protested. "I know what DNA is, but I don't get _that_!" Tsuzuki emphasized by gesturing at the monitor. There was a series of numbers and codon sequences, which might as well have been gibberish to a man like Tsuzuki.

"There wasn't anything specific in the database to compare the sample with, so we don't know the exact demon, and yes, it was from a demon, but they did manage to find a species." Watari clicked his mouse. "It's from a snake type."

"A snake demon…like maybe a horned snake demon?" Tsuzuki could connect the dots.

"It could be a coincidence. As I said, there was no sample in the database that matched the scale, just the species, so we can't be sure." Watari fell back into his chair in an undignified manner.

"That's a big coincidence though…I mean there is a legend that the Kurosaki family is cursed by a snake demon named Yatonokami, and then we find out that Rui is pregnant with a half-demon, and we find a snake demon scale on the ground…" Tsuzuki counted his fingers. "Am I missing something?"

"No, I suppose it all fits." Watari scratched the top of 003's head. "But we don't know if anything about this supposed curse is true. Yatonokami was killed at the end of the story remember? Not everything _fits_."

"Nagare and Rui aren't sick from nothing. Obviously that much of the curse is true." Tsuzuki leaned cautiously against a lab table, afraid he might fall right through.

"We don't know that. This is all speculation. Only stick to the facts. We know a snake demon is lurking around the Kurosaki estate, and that Rui is pregnant with a half-demon. The only thing I'll conjecture on is that there aren't any other demons hanging around, since it's not all that common, and the snake demon is the sire to the fetus." Watari fixed his glasses over his nose. "That isn't to say that the demon _can't_ be Yatonokami, or that the curse _couldn't _be real, but it could just be a coincidence, or the demon took advantage of the local folklore to move in."

"Maybe we should ask Hisoka…," Tsuzuki said carefully.

"You don't think he'd be a wee bit curious why we suddenly ask him, 'You haven't seen a snake demon wandering around by any chance?'" Watari raised an eyebrow.

Tsuzuki swallowed. "We could tell him the truth."

There was silence for a moment before Watari sighed. "I know you have the nasty habit of revealing your cover to just about _anyone_, but need I remind you that if they take negatively to you telling them you're a dead man, we'll have a hell of a time trying to investigate at all. The Kurosaki's have the village wrapped around their finger if you've noticed. We wouldn't be able to have our faces so much as glimpsed in this town again."

"We could just tell Hisoka. If it's to help his mom, then he wouldn't kick us out." Tsuzuki twisted his hands nervously. In truth, he wasn't sure he could keep pretending anymore. The dreams were becoming too much, and the guilt nearly overwhelming. He'd almost let it all out just this morning, and he didn't see the situation improving on its own.

"It's a risk we shouldn't take. Besides, we still haven't been able to rule out our earlier theory that Hisoka might be in league with the demon to ensure the birth of the baby. It would be reckless to blow our cover too early."

"I've ruled it out!" Tsuzuki started loudly. He'd thought that Watari had given up on the idea. "Hisoka isn't like that. I'm sure of it!"

Watari eyed him hard. "Tsuzuki you're getting too attached. I've been gentle about reminding you before now, but I can't keep ignoring this. You're getting way over your head! I've seen the way you look at him, and I have to tell you that I find it disturbing. Your getting too close, taking this case personally, and if you don't pull it together you'll be endangering the mission." Tsuzuki stood there stunned into silence as his long-time friend continued, "I don't want to see you hurt and you are worrying me. You spend most of your day with him doing God knows what. I know you've developed feelings for the boy, and it's only because I consider you a close friend that I haven't contacted Tatsumi about it."

Tsuzuki sputtered for a moment, trying to comprehend what he'd just been accused of. "What do you think I'm _doing _with him?! We're only talking. We're _friends_. Isn't that what I was _supposed _to do?!"

"You can't lie to me!" Watari sounded frustrated. "I've known you long enough to know you get attached easily to those you meet, but this is going a little far. You can't _see _it like I can. When the two of you are together it isn't _like_ friends. It's like your eyes are glued to each other! If you don't pull back you'll end up breaking the rules. You know that relations between shinigami and mortals are _strictly _forbidden."

"But I haven't done anything!" Tsuzuki protested. "I swear!"

Watari's eyes burned into his. "Be honest. What where you dreaming last night?"

Tsuzuki flinched. How could Watari know? He'd been sure that the other was asleep when he'd awoken earlier that morning…but then again, he'd been in a rush to leave the room. "What does that matter?"

"You talk in your sleep you know," Watari answered frankly.

"No I--So what if I do?" Tsuzuki's pulse raced, and a thin film of sweat was gathering on his palms. _He_ knew that _Watari_ knew. He knew that Watari was _right_. About everything…but Watari was forgetting that Tsuzuki had no control about how he felt…it just was.

"You were dreaming about him, calling his name, _making promises_. Tsuzuki, YOU ARE GETTING TOO CLOSE!"

The dream raced through his head like a whirlwind. He recalled the kind of stuff Watari might have heard and it was incriminating. But it was…true. The realization hit like a ton of bricks. He didn't want to leave Hisoka. He wanted to stay. He felt…something. He could still hear the dream Hisoka's voice. _"You've forgotten, and it'll be too late." _

It reminded him of the other dreams…the ones about the hotel room that haunted him every single night. He felt like he had forgotten something sacred. As if something dear to him had been snatched away, and although he couldn't remember what it was, the value still stung in his heart. "Watari…," he mumbled forlornly. "None of this feels right…"

Watari took a step forward, his brow furrowed. "Tsuzuki…?"

"I-It just doesn't feel right! Don't you feel like something is missing? Something just isn't right about any of this!" Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes shut tightly, and tried to summon the vision of the hotel room again. _He was forgetting something_.

"Tsuzuki what are you talking about…? Are you alright?" There was a nervous edge to the scientist's usually bubbly voice.

"Watari…I…" Tsuzuki trailed off as a bell sounded throughout the house. Breakfast was ready. Instantly, Tsuzuki snapped back to reality. Just as he couldn't tell Hisoka the truth, he couldn't tell Watari about the doubt that had been plaguing him. "Lets eat," he said finally.

Watari stood blinking at him, like he might just have a second head growing from his shoulders. "Tsuzuki, I want you to tell me what's going on. What was that all about?"

Tsuzuki straightened and smiled brightly. "Nothing. I'm really hungry though!" Practically running from the room so as not to give Watari any more chances to speak, Tsuzuki made it to the dining hall in record time.

qpqpqpqpqp

Tsuzuki was forlorn.

Now he had two people upset with him. It didn't take a genius to notice the frost gathering on Hisoka's side of the table. The silence was unnerving, and Hisoka's gaze harder to catch than a soap bubble. He was avoiding him.

Watari was just the opposite. He wasn't trying to ignore Tsuzuki in his annoyance, so much as continually lure him into conversation, as if he feared silence might result in Tsuzuki spontaneously losing his sanity. Yes, that was it, Watari was trying to gage what had caused his outburst in the room before breakfast.

In short, opening his stupid mouth had damaged his relationship with two people in the span of just one morning. Could it get any worse?

It could.

As much as he wanted to avoid Watari, and try to get Hisoka alone again to run damage control, Nagare decided he suddenly valued his son's time. Besides formal greetings and short conversations over the dinner table, Tsuzuki had yet to see any real interaction between the two. It was a shock when he suddenly asked that Hisoka to join him for tea after breakfast. Hisoka didn't react as if it was anything new however, and much to Tsuzuki's annoyance, he now had no excuse to avoid Watari.

It didn't help that the moment breakfast ended, Watari latched onto his arm and practically dragged them back to their room.

"Talk now or I'm calling Tatsumi!" were Watari's first words after they had some privacy.

"There is nothing to say. You accused me of a lot." Tsuzuki folded his arms like a petulant child.

"No, I stated the truth, but…what was that at the end? What _is_ going on?" Watari cornered him with a stern look. "You're not running away from me mister! I'm more stubborn than you think!"

Tsuzuki took a step back, and Watari followed it with a step forward. "It was nothing. I was…just upset about what you were saying."

Watari thought for a moment, consideration clear on his face, before posing his question. "So what _exactly_ about what _I_ was saying didn't feel right? What is it that is _missing_?"

_Think of a lie! _The warning shot through Tsuzuki's brain with nowhere to go. He had to come up with something quick, because if he told Watari the truth he was sure that he _would_ call Tatsumi. "I just don't think…it's wrong to get close to people and want to help them." Tsuzuki thought the words sounded right. "And…I'm not sure what is missing. I think there is just more to this case than what we are looking at. I think Hisoka will be able to help us put everything together." Tsuzuki pictured the grave marker, and who's name was on it. It said Hisoka, but the date clearly stated that the person had died a whole year before _his _Hisoka was born. They had lived and died in that same year--a baby.

Tsuzuki relaxed internally. From the look on Watari's face he bought the lie. Still, Tsuzuki knew the truth about the realization he'd made. Something _wasn't_ right, and he believed it was somehow tied to Hisoka. Even if it meant lying, he needed to find the truth…

"So you'll be able to leave when everything is over?" Watari asked simply.

The thought burned in his mind. It felt wrong too. It felt like he was breaking some revered promise that only his heart was aware of. "Yes, I always do." True he grew close to those he met on cases, but in the end he always left them behind. Only he knew this time was different.

"And you think Hisoka is hiding something he will share with you?"

"He puts a protection spell around his mother's room. I've seen him do it…I think he may know something else is in the house," Tsuzuki confessed.

"I see." Watari frowned. "Alright, but tell him as little as you can get away with. Any odd signs from him, and we have to work quick, got it?"

Tsuzuki couldn't believe his ears…Watari was finally agreeing with him. His stomach squirmed uneasily. That also meant that he had to face Hisoka now.

"You do it your way, and I'll do it mine. I'll look into last night's discovery and you can dig up some clues." Tsuzuki thought that Watari made it sound simple.

qpqpqpqpqp

It didn't turn out to be an easy task.

Tsuzuki's first instinct was to go to Rui's room, but it was locked, and Hisoka was nowhere in sight. He'd walked through the garden, and even passed the graveyard without seeing a single sign of the youngest Kurosaki. He spent most of the morning searching the grounds of the estate, accidentally falling asleep briefly when he took a break in one of the flower beds. He was still exhausted from last night, and dearly wanted a cat nap.

He was considering just how lost he might get if he searched the winding halls of the main house or side houses, when he realized it was lunch time. Disappointed and hungry, Tsuzuki returned to his room. Watari was there, sitting on his futon, the hologram turned off. Typing madly on his laptop, he had a grin on his face.

"What are you doing?" Tsuzuki queried, only half-interested as he flopped onto his bed.

"Talking to Tatsumi. I think he may miss me!" Watari said merrily.

Tsuzuki stiffened. "What about?"

Watari paused and glanced sideways at him. "Don't worry, nothing about you. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt for the time being. As long as that _attraction_ doesn't become _action_." Watari chuckled to himself.

Tsuzuki didn't want to admit how relieved he felt.

"So, I'm guessing you didn't find Hisoka by the dejected look on your face."

"Nope. I have no idea where he is. He couldn't have been talking to Nagare for _that_ long!" Tsuzuki gestured widely with his hand.

A knock at their door stilled the conversation. "Come in!" Watari called. The door slid open to reveal Miya holding both trays on one arm, displaying skill that someone as clumsy as Tsuzuki could admire.

"The cook made a really nice lunch today," she said while setting the trays down in front of them.

"Thank you Miya."

She was almost out the door before Tsuzuki got an idea. "Wait! Miya, could I ask you a question?"

Scooting back, she smiled at him warmly. "What do you want to ask?"

"I know that Hisoka was having tea with his father, but I haven't been able to find him since. Do you know where he is?" Tsuzuki's voice was practically begging for his whereabouts.

Miya blushed. "It's actually a bit of talk with the maids right now…," she paused as if considering if her slip of tongue would get back to Nagare. Finally, she smiled impishly. "They got into an argument, loud enough for a couple of the girls to hear. But really it's the subject--" She paused again, this time for dramatic effect. "Of course love is always an interesting subject! The master wants Hisoka to marry after his birthday in the fall, but of course it will be an arranged marriage…and things really got heated!"

Tsuzuki's stomach dropped down into his toes. "An arranged marriage? He doesn't…know her?"

"No. I think it is the daughter of one of the Master's acquaintances." She frowned. "That is family tradition I'm afraid. But the really good part of the story is…" She took in their expectant looks eagerly, as someone who loved to gossip would, before dropping the final bomb. "He made a deal with his father that if he gave up the key to the Mistress's room, that he'd have a month to find a girl he wants to marry!" Miya made a swooning gesture. "Isn't that so romantic?! It's like the beginning of a romance novel!"

Rage made Tsuzuki's skin crawl. That wasn't romantic in the least. It was horrible. He'd heard Hisoka talk about the family acquaintances, and how he hated them. Not only was he being forced to marry someone he didn't even know…but now he'd been forced to give up Rui's key. Of all Hisoka's possessions, Tsuzuki knew for sure that the key was his most treasured.

_He must be so upset…_

Tsuzuki took in a deep breath to calm the protectiveness rising within, demanding that he go to Nagare right away, and give the man a thrashing. "Do you know where he is?"

Her smile waned, as if reality was catching up with her. "I brought lunch to his room, but he said he wasn't hungry. He was looking a bit peaky, so I suggested he go outside for some fresh air."

"Thank you Miya!" And for once Tsuzuki actually forgot about the lunch sitting in front of him, and sprinted out of the room.

Hisoka had been in his room! Of course, Tsuzuki had only a vague idea where that was, because Hisoka wouldn't let him walk him back at night. But if he hurried, he'd be able to find the teen somewhere outside. Tsuzuki conveniently forgot just how vast the Kurosaki grounds were (despite the fact that he'd been the one searching them just hours before).

Again, he started in the garden, but the path was empty, and no one was hiding in the flowerbeds. He walked around the back shed, past Rui's room, and then down the sloping hill to the graveyard. No one was out, and Tsuzuki wondered if he'd missed Hisoka after all. Walking around the base of the hill, he headed towards the 'special' spot Hisoka had showed him on their first day of being friends.

As the small cluster of sakura trees came into view, Tsuzuki could see a figure sitting amongst the tree roots. Hisoka looked small there, knees drawn up beneath his chin. Tsuzuki's heart clenched at the sight, and his pace hurried until he was standing right in front of him.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, as no reaction was given at his arrival.

"What do you want?" The question was terse and defensive. Tsuzuki knew he had a lot of work to do.


	18. Chapter 17

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: FINALLY! God I waited forever for some hints of true TsuzukixHisoka goodness! Anyone else who has been waiting as patiently as me will be pleased.

**Chapter 17**

Hisoka always thought that those who wallow in despair were fools. Well, he supposed he was a fool then, because he couldn't bring himself to feel much else. It was like he was locked in a stupor. Sitting in his room for hours, a book forgotten on his lap, he just wanted to run away.

Yes, it was a wish that always teased him in the back of his mind. He used to dream of packing a small bag, and running far away. He wasn't sure where he would go, but he imagined big cities with lots of people who _didn't_ know his name, or a small house in the countryside with a large garden that he could relax and read in. He dreamed of that moment, when he'd be free from his family title, and the weight of responsibility that felt too heavy for his shoulders. He dreamed of being _free_.

It was hopeless though. He knew that until his final breath, he would be the next in blood, the Kurosaki name branded into his body. He would have to _die_ to be free.

Death was not something Hisoka could accept. His father, who currently suffered, had yet to draw a blade to himself. He knew that his pride would prevent him from ever considering the idea. Besides, he didn't want to die. He was afraid of the unknown--the permanent state of it.

His mother would die, and he would be left alone with his father, cold and distant. Then he too would die, and Hisoka would be stuck in his role. There was no hope of a happy ending. It all came down to death, and it's timing.

And now he was weighing the time he would be losing with his mother, hoping it wouldn't be all she had left. He had to try and capture some slim form of happiness for himself. Was that selfish? He couldn't see himself falling in love, so perhaps he was just wasting time. Never in his life had he been attracted to a girl. All those that he met were usually too flaky or shallow. Their giggles would turn his stomach, and some were far too clingy for their own good. Hisoka fancied himself someone who just wasn't into looks. He'd never admired a woman's shape, or had his heart stop over one's beauty. Personality seemed more important if he was going to look for a defining attribute.

If he were to choose by personality alone, he still wasn't sure he could find what he was looking for. His heart was a reserved one, and ever since his mother had read him the story of O-Tei, and told him he had a soul mate out there waiting for him, Hisoka had carried the dream of someday meeting a person that was just right for him. Now he knew that had been idealistic thinking. After all, people couldn't be meant for each other. The chances of two souls finding each other in a world as vast as this were near impossible. One didn't just meet a person, have a spot light shimmer down with choir music in the background, and have a voice from above declare you soul mates. That wasn't reality.

"Hisoka?" Miya peaked into his bedroom. "I brought you some lunch."

Had he been in here that long? Hours of thinking and it just seemed to be running him in circles! He couldn't think straight! He was cornered, trapped in his role, and he was helpless to try and change that.

"I'm not hungry," he replied faintly. The injustice of his fate could have been a tangible hand around his throat, clamping off the flow of air into his lungs. He felt ill.

"You look a little pale…" Miya frowned. "Some fresh air might do you some good. I'll just leave this here in case you change your mind." Miya set the tray down and excused herself.

Hisoka stared at it for a moment, the food looking wholly unappetizing. He didn't want to eat again for a year. He just wanted to sleep away everything, and only wake up when it was all over. The room was tight around him, like a cage, telling him to submit.

A little dizzy, he stumbled from the room. He was on the edge of illness until the first taste of wind reached his face. The summer air was warm and lazy, fragrances of flowers, grass, and something that just was the outdoors gliding over him gently. The openness of the sky was inviting, the confined feeling of before dropping away.

He wanted to think.

Heading to his favorite spot almost on auto-pilot, Hisoka settled onto the grass at the base of a sakura tree and breathed in deeply.

It was just too much. That was why he couldn't push the despair away this time. The future had always been far away, a dark thought he could bury. Sure things were never truly happy, but he could pretend, and everyone around him pretended too. But his mother was sick, and his father was turning into something he couldn't even recognize. That would be him. Hisoka drew his knees up under his chin, and gazed desolately at his hands. They were small, his body always more petite than he liked, and covered with _pink_ human skin. He tried to imagine what they would look like covered in grey scales, cracked, and rough. Would he still be able to feel the texture of the books he held, or hold his sword in the same firm grip? Would they cover his body like a rash, devouring him?

He dreaded the day he would look in a mirror and see his pupils inverted into slits. He was afraid to lose himself, to his family's traditions that restricted his freewill, and the same coldness that had taken his father's heart. He didn't want to be devoured slowly. He didn't _want_ this life.

His lungs felt like they were burning on the fine summer air.

"Hisoka?" a voice full of clear relief and hesitance queried. Hisoka wanted it to go away and draw it closer at the same time. Tsuzuki was the person he'd wanted to see least this morning, but his anger from before seemed so trivial when compared to this ache. He didn't want to be alone, and yet…the sudden longing to tell Tsuzuki everything, his hopes and dreams, and even his fears, was something he warned himself could not be touched.

"What do you want?" His eyes were still trained towards his feet, the question coming out cold.

Tsuzuki was silent for a long moment, before he walked to Hisoka's side, and settled back into the grass to his right. "I just wanted to be here for you…in case you needed someone to talk to." The warmth of the emotions Tsuzuki was giving off, made Hisoka want to drown. It felt so good when compared to his own chaotic thoughts. Unconsciously he shifted closer.

He wanted to be there for him? When was the last time someone had simply _been there_? "I don't want to talk," he said stiffly. It wasn't true. He wanted to scream out everything. He didn't want this to be stuck inside him anymore. His stomach was clenching and unclenching in a rhythm that countered his pulse and made him nauseous.

"Then I can just sit here, right?" Tsuzuki gave him a kind smile, and Hisoka could just see it through the curtain his bangs made.

"Go ahead." Hisoka pressed his face down tighter. He felt weak. All he wanted to do was cry. It had been so long…how long he wasn't sure, but long enough that the emotions that were coiled in the front of his skull were ready to spill out. Crying was for the weak, and that was the last thing he wanted to show Tsuzuki right now.

He tensed as a hand fell gently onto his shoulder, the pressure almost welcoming, and the emotions weren't all that bad either. They were soothing, like when his mother would give him warmed milk when he had trouble sleeping as a child. That hand was firm and welcoming, more welcoming than anything he'd known for a long while. "What are you doing?" Hisoka asked. He was ashamed to hear his voice crack, the sound frail to his own ears.

"Being here for you." The hand squeezed. "It's better when you cry with someone than to do it alone. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to," Tsuzuki said knowingly.

Hisoka wanted to _deny_ that he would cry. He wanted to push _away_ and push _into_ that hand at the same time. He wanted to be somewhere else and right here, because Tsuzuki's presence felt _too_ warm and he was just _too _weak. Hisoka held his breath as the burning in his eyes intensified. Now that he'd made up his mind not to cry, it seemed much harder not to.

His father was right. He was being self-centered. Why would he have the right to be weak or happy, when his father had to endure so much more than him? He didn't deserve anything. The sweat on his palms, and how his muscles quivered, telling him to flee, were wrong.

Hisoka inclined his face deeper into his knees as tears began to flow down his cheeks. The pressure in his skull was too much, and he couldn't contain the strain. A sob caught in his throat as he tried to swallow it back. His shoulders shook.

Tsuzuki's fingers curled into his yukata sleeve, and he was being pulled sideways, an arm curling around him. It was warm and strong, stronger than he felt himself, and it guided him to rest against Tsuzuki's chest. His cheek pressed against the cotton of his dress shirt, tears coming faster than he wanted, and he sobbed again this time unable to hide it.

Tsuzuki held him tight. His emotions kept Hisoka from pulling away, and he listened to the steady heartbeat against his ear instead. It was like home, freedom, and safety all at once. He wanted to take everything into his fists and hold it like a blanket around himself until the fear of where his life was going was smothered away with his breath.

He _couldn't_ get himself to stop crying, the tears feeling too hot for his face, and he was embarrassed to be ruining Tsuzuki's shirt. He _couldn't _get his voice to work through the panic stuck in his throat. He _couldn't_ help never wanting to leave, because this was the most protected he'd felt from the world since he was a child. But he wanted to ask why.

Because he didn't understand _why_ Tsuzuki would be doing this--why the man held him with such warm emotions when no one else ever had. He couldn't know the terrible twist of his emotions, and the shame that threatened to crush Hisoka were he hid. The protective cradle of these arms couldn't know what they guarded against. Tsuzuki couldn't know. So then why…? Why would Tsuzuki do this for him?

Hisoka pressed his face hard against the collar of Tsuzuki's shirt, fingers curling into the extra fabric at his waist. He didn't want to let go. He knew he should. He knew that at any moment his pride would be irretrievable, and he wouldn't be able to deny that he liked the way he was being held. Tsuzuki rocked them slowly, and Hisoka could trace the arm across his back, down to the hand around his waist, to the fingers pressed just bellow his ribs.

It was strange to feel so much of one person, his emotions, and every ripple of muscles as they moved. Hisoka's turmoil and panic lessened, draining into the fingers in his hair, and hum of the chest beneath him. His tears slowed only when he was too exhausted to give anymore.

"See? Isn't this better?" Tsuzuki whispered.

Hisoka was afraid to speak. Afraid of what it might sound like or what he would say. He didn't trust his own tongue, just as he now couldn't trust his emotions. He wanted so desperately to stay like this, the irrational thought that Tsuzuki would pull away, making his grip tighten. He _tried_ to tell himself that if Tsuzuki pulled back then surely the blush and tears on his face would be obvious. He was just embarrassed…he couldn't _want_ this.

Why wasn't he annoyed? Hisoka waited and waited, but Tsuzuki didn't push him from his lap. Hisoka couldn't _sense_ even the slightest bit of irritation. He didn't _care _that his shirt was wet, or that his left leg must be asleep by now. He didn't care that Hisoka had stopped crying minutes ago but was still there. But he did _care_, because Hisoka could feel that. Tsuzuki cared about _him_.

"I'm sorry about this morning," Tsuzuki said softly, "but I did have a bad dream. I dreamt that you hated me. I'll do anything to protect you Hisoka. _Please_ don't ever hate me."

Hisoka blushed, but didn't extract himself. He spoke quietly into the folds of Tsuzuki's shirt instead, "I won't. I don't--I couldn't hate you."

"Good." The relief and joy at that, swept from Tsuzuki and through his veins like honey. Hisoka sighed, body going limp at the invasion. "That's good."

"Mm." Hisoka thought that they should really move now, because there wasn't an excuse for Tsuzuki to be holding him like this anymore. The longer they waited the more embarrassing it would be, Hisoka reasoned. But it was proving difficult to get his limbs to react to the command, his muscles languid under the influx of pleasant emotions.

He was tired, he acknowledged, when he finally took notice that his eyes had closed, and he could no longer see the buttons of Tsuzuki's shirt. He had barely slept the night before, after the festival, and now the last few hours had exhausted him to a point where his body no longer wanted to obey him.

_We should really move, _Hisoka thought again, as he slowly drifted to sleep.

qpqpqpqpqp

Hisoka's eyes fluttered open slowly, and he wasn't sure at first what had woken him up. Wrinkling his nose, he found a sakura petal tickling his face. It took longer for him to understand why he was outside. Shifting enough to lift his head, Hisoka blushed darkly, taking in exactly where he'd fallen asleep.

His face had been moved down, now resting on Tsuzuki's stomach. The rest of his body was curled over Tsuzuki's lap, his legs sprawled on the sukara covered grass. Hisoka didn't move right away, but that was mostly because Tsuzuki wasn't awake yet. The man had his back against a tree trunk, chin drooping to his chest, and bangs falling over his closed eyes. His mouth was parted just so, snoring perceivabe over the breeze. He'd been sleeping too, and Hisoka blinked up at the other's face for a long moment, admiring his fine features.

It would be awkward he knew, if he was still lying there when Tsuzuki woke up. It wasn't normal for two grown men to nap together like that, was it? Then again, he hadn't been acting like a man, but crying like a child. Hisoka scowled. He'd made a fool of himself.

Rolling off slowly, so as not to wake him, Hisoka stood up. His yukata was rumpled, and his face felt stiff from dried tears. Pulling the fabric back into place, Hisoka then used his sleeve to rub at his face. His eyes were still locked on Tsuzuki.

He hadn't had a single dream. Hisoka frowned. His emotions had been so wild…and then he'd just been so tired…He hadn't seen a single thing when he'd been touching Tsuzuki. Did that mean that being physically and emotionally exhausted had affected this strange empathy Hisoka had gained?

Hisoka breathed in slowly and took a step forward. He was calm now wasn't he? And Tsuzuki was asleep, just like that first time… Of course Tsuzuki had told him that this morning he had just been upset, but Hisoka still knew there was more to it. Tsuzuki and the doctor were hiding something. Now might be just the opportunity…

Trying not to feel guilty, and not sure why he was so nervous, Hisoka bent forward until he was within a foot of Tsuzuki's face. His hand hesitated. What if Tsuzuki caught him? Even if he wanted the truth, it was sure to be just as painful as the first time he'd glimpsed into Tsuzuki's mind, and he didn't want Tsuzuki to be suspicious again. Steeling himself, he touched Tsuzuki's face with the bare tips of his fingers.

A cozy, sleepy, tingling spread up his arm. A sharp pain at Hisoka's temple, didn't stop him from concentrating on it, letting the tingle intensify. He closed his eyes and watched pictures flicker into focus. The ache in his head was just barely tolerable, and he knew he'd need to work faster if he wanted to get anywhere.

But the image in his head wasn't of secret plans or hidden information. Tsuzuki was _dreaming_. Hisoka's cheeks flamed as Tsuzuki dreamed about one of the days they'd picked flowers together. He could feel that is was _good_, so very _right_…and…Tsuzuki was wishing that they could stay in the garden _forever_.

A bell rang in the distance, once, twice, and Hisoka yanked his hand back just as Tsuzuki's eyes snapped open. They blinked at each other several times, before they spoke at the same time.

"Is that dinner--"

"I'm sorry--"

Silence again as they realized what the other had said. "What are you sorry for 'Soka?" Tsuzuki asked through a yawn.

Hisoka straightened all the way, averting his eyes. "For before." He didn't want to elaborate.

"Oh." Tsuzuki stood up, his suit more wrinkled than ever. Luckily his shirt was dry now, or Hisoka would have had reason for further embarrassment. As it was, the look Tsuzuki was giving him made him shuffle his feet nervously. "You shouldn't be sorry for that. I'd be sad too, if I had to marry someone I didn't know."

Hisoka looked back at him wide-eyed. "You know about that?!" Tsuzuki's words from when he'd first found him, came back. "Of course you know…It must be the talk of the house by now," Hisoka finished sourly.

"Hisoka…I wanted to talk to you--"

Hisoka cut him off. "Not now. We'll be late for dinner, and I can't afford to incense my father any more today." Walking away, Tsuzuki followed hot on his heels.

"But I _really_ want to talk to you about something! Can we talk after? _Please_?" Tsuzuki had assumed his whiny voice, smiling as if the day hadn't been one horrible mess after another.

"Fine. _After_ dinner."


	19. Chapter 18

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: This chapter is…interesting, but really raises more questions than answers. Please don't shoot me.

**Chapter 18**

After dinner never came. It was the same trick fate had pulled all day. They'd just gotten to dessert, apple strudels, when Nagare again, asked for his son's time, stating simply, "I have a list for you."

Hisoka didn't look too happy about that, but Tsuzuki noticed that he hadn't seemed comfortable since they'd woken up under the sakura trees.

The sight of Hisoka crying would forever be seared into Tsuzuki's memory. It was not something he ever wanted to see again, and hoped that even once the truth was out, he wouldn't have to. Still, Hisoka had cried, and Tsuzuki had been there. The memory of it made him feel warm. Hisoka had been small in his arms, at that moment needing his protection from the world, and Tsuzuki had been all too happy to oblige. He hadn't minded the tears that made his shirt stick to his chest, because Hisoka had been pressed there too. It had felt good to be needed--to be there for someone he cared about.

There was so very little he could do for Hisoka, but if being there was enough, then Tsuzuki would be there. He'd make sure of it.

He didn't know when they'd fallen asleep, but it was rest he needed. Sleeping beneath the sakura, knowing Hisoka was safely with him, had allowed him peace. His mind had relaxed, and the dreams that came were strangely pleasant.

A dinner bell was easily one of the best things to wake-up to, and waking up to Hisoka's face close to his, soft fingers cupping his cheek, lips parted in surprise--that was even better. Hisoka was beautiful, Tsuzuki couldn't deny, although he knew he _should_ be ashamed to think it. One look however, and Tsuzuki couldn't recall Watari's words at all; they were insignificant.

He'd wanted to kiss him.

What a mistake that would have been. Hisoka was already going through too much. He'd be engaged to a _living_ girl soon, and he needed a friend. Tsuzuki had to be a _friend_. No matter what he felt, he could do no more than be there, or else he'd be breaking numerous rules.

Besides, Hisoka had jumped back as soon as Tsuzuki had opened his eyes, so he was sure that Hisoka couldn't feel the same way. Tsuzuki just hoped that Hisoka wasn't embarrassed for crying, so much so, that he would avoid him again.

Now Tsuzuki was bored, and in his shared room again. He was really starting to miss his apartment, which at least had a TV, although he could rarely afford cable. It wasn't that Watari was bad company, but he was currently glued to his computer. Tsuzuki never liked computers much. Perhaps he _was_ old, but switching from hand written reports to typing, had been a difficult transition. He was still a hunt-and-peck.

Anyway, sitting there petting 003 could only be so entertaining. Tsuzuki wondered yet again why he was having so much trouble getting Hisoka alone, and actually _talking_ to him. Was it a sign that he shouldn't? No, the truth was always better than lies…right?

"Watari?"

"Hmm?"

Tsuzuki stared at his back as the scientist's fingers flew across the key board. Tsuzuki wondered if shinigami could get carpel tunnel syndrome. The Chief threw out his back every once in a while. "What are you doing?"

"Not much." A few clicks. "Just hacking into the town records. Seeing if I can find a death certificate to match that grave marker. Even in a place like this, records are computerized…"

Tsuzuki began to hum, brain frying on the lack of stimulus. This was worse than work! Used to being trapped at a desk, he could ignore paperwork and make origami cranes. He had recently learned how to make frogs, and he'd practice how far he could make them 'hop'. There was _nothing_ for him to do now. "Sounds interesting…"

Watari glanced once his way. "You vanish after lunch and don't come back until dinner. You're sure you didn't get _anything_ out of him in that whole time?"

"Mm…" Tsuzuki smiled sheepishly. "I was _really_ tired. I sorta fell asleep."

"You took a nap?"

"Hisoka was sleepy too. He said we could talk after dinner…but Nagare stole him again." Tsuzuki gave an explosive sigh. "It's not _my_ fault."

Watari shot him an incredulous look. "So you two slept the entire time you were gone?"

He wouldn't mention the crying part. Hisoka was embarrassed enough as it was. "Yup. I didn't wake up until the dinner bell." 003 bit at one of his fingers and he shook her off. "Actually, now I don't feel tired at all. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight…"

"That's good I suppose. It should give you plenty of time tonight to talk to Hisoka." Watari snapped his laptop shut. "And he better have a lot to say, because there is no record of a Hisoka dying in 1978. No birth certificate that I can find either. Whoever that grave belongs to, they're off the radar."

"Why is this family so weird?" Tsuzuki sounded defeated. "I'd like to talk to Hisoka, but with this whole arranged marriage business, I'm finding it hard to get any of his time. I don't think he really wants any company right now."

"It's been two hours since dinner. I don't think Hisoka is going to come _here_. If you want to get everything out tonight, then you better go to him. We aren't getting anywhere, and we need our questions answered if we want to solve this case. Rui won't benefit from us waiting."

"He's probably in his room, not that I have a clue where that is." Tsuzuki thought that the Kurosaki estate should come with a map with how mazelike it was, especially at night when the hall lights were off. Tsuzuki had gotten lost multiple times when trying to get to Rui's room, and he _knew_ where that was.

"Well Nagare's room is at the other end of the house, off the main hall way before the walk to Rui's room. I'd guess that Hisoka's room might be over there." Tsuzuki wondered if Watari really trusted him enough to go to Hisoka's room alone at night. Actually…

"Isn't it kind of late now?" Tsuzuki felt awkward just showing up at Hisoka's door, uninvited. Now that they couldn't meet at Rui's room, Tsuzuki didn't have an excuse to meet him so late.

"Well, it wouldn't look very good if you were caught in his room at this time of night…" Watari laughed, but Tsuzuki thought it sounded like a warning. He wanted to throw something at his perverted friend. "But you're used to sneaking around at night, and we really need to get some information. Just see if you can't find him."

"You don't think he'd be angry if I just showed up?"

Watari frowned. "I doubt it."

"Ok…" Tsuzuki stood up, and 003 flew to Watari's shoulder.

"Oh, and don't get lost." Tsuzuki could hear a hint of, 'and don't do anything I wouldn't do.'

"Yeah." Spirit form was easier when traveling the dark halls. It made it less likely for him to be caught, and he could navigate more at ease. It didn't help that the halls were pitch black, or that the near bare walls made it difficult to recognize if he'd taken a certain path before.

Tsuzuki was just wishing he'd gotten better directions from Watari, when the question of just _how_ Watari knew where Nagare's room was located, popped into his head. He had to remind himself that Watari wasn't as stupid as he was. Watari didn't get attached to people despite his overly friendly personality. He drew a line with case work, and never got involved emotionally. In retrospect, he had no idea what Watari _did_ when he spent his afternoons with Hisoka.

"Uh…" His eyes darted around the dark hall he was now standing in, and he realized he must have made a wrong turn. There was a tapestry with a mountain on it to his right…of course there were a lot of those…so it didn't help him in figuring out where he was. "Retrace my steps…"

Turning around didn't bring him back to the main hall. Instead, he was in a side hall he was _sure_ he had never been in before. Watari had probably expected this, and was laughing at that very moment, imagining Tsuzuki lost.

Tsuzuki knew that he would be hopelessly lost for a while. This happened sometimes when he'd go visit his shiki. Some joked that he needed an escort to find the bathroom. Tsuzuki didn't think it was funny, not when he was always walking into Tenku's booby traps unaware.

Wandering around in the hope that he'd happen upon an area he recognized, he ended up getting himself even more turned around. Not very successful, he felt doomed to be lost all night. Turning at a statue of a very fat samurai, he finally heard his first signs of life.

It was a sound, like the gasping of someone in pain. Pausing to ascertain the direction it was coming from, Tsuzuki shifted into solid form, and walked silently down the hall. A light was on in one of the far rooms, the noises getting louder. A groan followed by murmuring made his steps quicken. What could be going on…?

The hall ended, and he could hear the cries clearly now. "Unnh…AHHH!" Tsuzuki flinched. It was Nagare. He could recognized the voice as a deep masculine one, and the only man in the house besides Hisoka was Nagare. "AHHHHH!" He sounded like he was enduring terrible pain. What could…?

"Unh…UNNNH!" There was coughing and then the sound of splattering blood. (He had enough years of experience to know what that sounded like.) Tsuzuki's hand shot towards the door.

A petite hand caught his wrist, the grip painfully tight. Glancing to his side, he saw Hisoka standing there, a frightful look on his face. Tsuzuki tried to take his hand back, the pained sounds increasing, but Hisoka shook his head. It was dark, only the diffused light through the screen allowing him to see Hisoka's eyes. They were dark but wide, flickering to his father's room and back to Tsuzuki's shocked gaze.

Another scream punctured the air, and Hisoka flinched, pulling at Tsuzuki's arm. Tsuzuki allowed himself to be led a little down the hall, before stopping again. Even from here, he could hear Nagare. "He needs help," Tsuzuki whispered.

Again Hisoka shook his head. "No, you shouldn't have heard. I--he wouldn't want us to know!" Hisoka's eyes flashed down the hall, clearly shaken by the sounds his father was making.

"We should at least check that he is alright. He doesn't sound very good," Tsuzuki insisted nervously. It was an understatement. The man sounded like he was dying. Why would Hisoka want to ignore his own father, especially if he was in trouble?

"No Tsuzuki! Forget you heard anything!" Hisoka was frantic. "There is nothing you can do. Even I…It can't be helped. Please just leave it be. He'd be angry if he knew we'd heard."

"AHHHH!"

Tsuzuki turned to walk back, intent on seeing what could possibly be happening, but Hisoka latched onto his arm, showing the strength that his slight frame disguised. Anchored to the spot, Tsuzuki had no choice but to look back into pleading green eyes. "Don't look! Don't! You don't want to see, trust me…I…listen to him sometimes at night--check on him. He's sick, but there is nothing we can do."

"Hisoka…what's going on? Not just this…but everything. What is going on in this house?" Tsuzuki stood, facing him directly. There was no way he could put this off any longer.

Hisoka froze, the grip on his arm slackening. Tsuzuki could see fear there. Hisoka was afraid to tell him the truth. "Hisoka…I need you to tell me. We can help you. If you just tell me what's going on…"

"No. No one can help us." Hisoka cast his eyes to the floor.

"I can. You just have to _trust_ me. If I looked into that room right now, what would I see?"

"No…he's _sick_." Hisoka flinched at the sobbing sound from down the hall.

"Hisoka, _please_. I want to help you."

"you can't--"

High-pitched screaming echoed through the halls from the opposite direction, cutting their conversation off. They both froze again, listening intently to the sound. "AHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HE…HELP ME NAGARE!! Nagare. Nagare!"

"Who…?"

"Mother!" Hisoka turned sharply and began running through the halls towards Rui's room. Tsuzuki took a second to register just what was happening before he followed. Hisoka was ahead of him, face paled. It was difficult to run in the dark, walls springing up from the shadows, and for a moment he thought he'd lost Hisoka when he hit the empty junction between two halls.

He stopped, eyes scanning the wall art, before he realized he was at the corner of the main hall, and the door that lead out to Rui's cell. There was a new yell this time, and Tsuzuki's heart sped when it sounded like Hisoka. Nearly ripping the door from its track, Tsuzuki ran out into the night air.

"His…oka…My--My--My baby…" It was a wet voice, sounding through gurgles of water, and Tsuzuki could hear the steady drip on the wood planked path. "My child…Come to me…" There were coils of scaled skin sprawled over the walkway, Rui's door still securely locked. They led to the body of a woman with long black hair. Her sickeningly greenish-white skin was glistening moistly, and she bowed her head over the crouched from of Hisoka. He was backed into the side of the building, eyes widened to their furthest extent. Trembling hands were held in front of his chest, as if to keep the woman back.

"No…please…" Hisoka cringed away from her. "I'm not. I'm not _her_."

"MY BABY!!" screeched the woman, coils writhing.

Tsuzuki reached into his trench coat pocket, and pulled out a fuda. Her fingers latched onto Hisoka's shoulders, causing him to scream and, thrash madly. Tsuzuki threw the slip of paper forward, putting power into the spell so that it glowed where it contacted the woman's back.

"IIIeeeei! No! No…MY BABY! MY HISOKA!!" She released Hisoka, and he slumped to the ground shaking, face ashen. Long serpent tail contracting, she bowed under the pain of the spell, and moved away from them. Her body turned quickly like a puppet on strings, and she vanished from the walk. Tsuzuki followed to the end of the building, but she was gone.

"Hisoka?" Returning, he knelt down in front of him. "Hisoka, are you alright? Did she hurt you?" Hisoka's eyes refused to blink, and he just sat their shivering. Tsuzuki put an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him close, like earlier under the sakura blossoms.

"It was…It was…" Hisoka murmured into his coat, his shaking not subsiding.

"Who was it Hisoka? Who was she?" Tsuzuki knew the commotion was sure to gather attention, and he wanted to get an answer before they were interrupted.

"Kasane…" Hisoka's shaking stopped, and he curled, gasping into Tsuzuki's side. "Mother's sister…She's come. She wanted to take me." A shiver ran clear up Hisoka's spine, and Tsuzuki squeezed him tighter. "Don't let her take me."

"I won't."

The door was still open, and finally a few maids and Watari came skidding into the entrance. Watari made eye contact with Tsuzuki for a brief second, the agreement to talk as soon as they were alone, made wordlessly.

"What…Young master?" Miya stepped out onto the walk, and knelt besides them.

"I'm…I'm fine," Hisoka whispered, still clearly in shock, but none the less pushing away from Tsuzuki's hold.

Tsuzuki let go reluctantly, trying to meet his eyes. Hisoka had his trained on the ground, pupils dilated. "Watari, check that he isn't hurt." Watari approached apprehensively. Hisoka looked seconds away from throwing-up.

"I'm not hurt." Hisoka stood slowly, and glanced at the puddles of pond water over the path between the main house and the side building. Any remaining color drained from his face, and Tsuzuki just managed to catch him as his knees buckled.

"Hisoka?!" Tsuzuki shifted Hisoka's weight so he could see his face. His eyes were shut completely, having just passed out. "He's fine…" Tsuzuki picked him up easily, just like after the incident in the bath, and allowed Hisoka's head to rest against his shoulder.

Miya swallowed nervously. She wasn't inquiring into what had happened, and Tsuzuki suspected that she already knew. The whole house seemed to be in on some sort of secret, and Tsuzuki was determined to get to the bottom of it. But now…for now Hisoka needed to rest.

"I'll take you to his room," Miya whispered, the other maids turning away from the entrance now that the drama appeared to be over.

Tsuzuki followed her carefully, memorizing the turns so that he could find them again in the morning. Tomorrow he would get to the bottom of this, and there was _nothing_ that would stop him. It was time that the truth came out.

AN: Next chapter is much longer, and answers some important questions. Review, and I'll update faster!


	20. Chapter 19

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: You wanted _some_ answers to what the hell is going on? Want some more TsuzukixHisoka tension? Congratulations! You've finally made it to the promised land. Also, I have tons of spoilers from the Gensoukai arc, and also some theories in here. Still, most of this is based straight out of the manga.

**Chapter 19**

When he was little, Hisoka learned not to say her name. He can still remember when he was first shown his older sister's grave, his own name engraved on the stone. At the time, he'd been frightened, but his father had poured the water over the grave and said a prayer.

"Hisoka," he'd spoken quietly, "never forget you had a sister." Hisoka hadn't. He'd bring gifts to the grave, and imagine the games they could have played together if only she had lived. Back then, the thought that he had had a sister who had died, was not something strange.

Then he'd asked his mother why she never visited the grave, much older then, and he knew the moment he saw the look on her face that their family held secrets, and this was one of them.

"Kasane, my dear Kasane…," Hisoka would hear his father cry sometimes. Always alone. Hisoka knew, perhaps even when he was very little, that Papa didn't love Momma, and that both were very sad.

His mother never did go down to visit his sister's grave, and the name Kasane was never spoken in anyone's presence. It was a secret, one that Hisoka was careful to keep.

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Hisoka was warm and bleary, but most definitely awake. Even aware of that fact, he couldn't open his eyes. They seemed glued shut, his fingers twitching under the blankets. The covers came up over his face, mouth pressed to his pillow, but beneath his eyelids it wasn't dark.

He was awake…and yet, yet he was still dreaming. He wasn't sure how this could be, but eyes closed, he could still see the flashes of images. Sleepy, he saw a room. Yes, it was _his_ room. From the door, he could see the bed, someone sleeping there.

It wasn't bright, the light coming in through the windows pale. It was barely morning. Still, pictures of his room. Warmth. Surprise. He was so very surprised to see the room, with the bed, the person sleeping curled under blankets. The surprise was a tender sort of validation, and understanding that was so bitterly sweet that he felt like weeping.

Hisoka's eyebrows drew together in confusion. The pictures moved closer to the bed. He could only see hair above the many blankets, blonde, and ruffled. Truth. The recognition burned like a brilliant _truth_. This was _it_ he could feel. The powerful emotions washed through him with the images of _himself _sleeping.

_It was him…all along…Even before I came here it was him…_

Hisoka's eyelids fluttered, trying to open, but stuck in the tide of warmth and surprise. It was hard to separate what he felt, and these foreign emotions. He could see himself as he was approached…walking around the edge of the bed. Hisoka's fingers jerked again as he tried to will himself to move. He knew someone else was there, someone watching, and it made his muscles tense with unease. Why couldn't he move?

_Longing_…a strange sense of determination, and he could see fingers curling around _his_ blankets, puling them back from _his_ face. Beautiful, Hisoka felt, seeing his own 'sleeping' face. There was more, a neediness, and hesitation because this was _real_.

Hisoka saw the fingers reaching out to touch his cheek before he felt them, his eyes finally snapping open as the spell was broken. The spasm continued through his body, hands pressing against his futon, and legs kicking back, until he effectively flinched away from the man kneeling besides his bed.

"Tsuzuki?!" Hisoka gasped in surprise. "What are…?" He didn't know how to finished the question. Did he really want to ask what the other was doing? Why he was there?

Tsuzuki was sitting back, a stunned and guilty look passing over his face. He hadn't expected Hisoka to suddenly wake-up apparently. He eyed Tsuzuki, trying to ascertain just what he'd been seeing. Why was Tsuzuki thinking such odd things about seeing him sleeping? Why was he feeling…so…

Hisoka swallowed. Longing. Tsuzuki had felt _longing _while looking at _him_. Tsuzuki blinked slowly, finally processing that Hisoka had spoken. "Uhh…"

"Why are you here?" Hisoka finally managed to ask.

"I wanted to talk to you." Tsuzuki shook off some of his shock, and shifted into a sitting position, too close for Hisoka's liking. His legs were still tangled in his blankets, and if he wanted more distance he wouldn't be able to move without getting out of bed. It wouldn't be easy to do so casually with the way his legs were wound into the twists of fabric. Still, that longing, and the warm emotions, were enough to make Hisoka wary. They felt _good_, and Hisoka was sure he shouldn't be thinking that way.

Besides, looking down, he realized he was still in the yukata from the day before, and the tie had come undone… Most of his chest and stomach was exposed. Hisoka blushed, yanking the fabric back together clumsily. _This_ was why he wore pajamas. Why the hell was he wearing a yukata to bed?! He knew that he moved around too much in his sleep to wear the things.

Tsuzuki's eyes followed the motion, and Hisoka's blush darkened. _Oh, hell_. This was ridiculous. "About what? What could you _possibly_ want to talk about this _early_ in the morning?" He couldn't help the irritated note that crept into his voice. He was having trouble recalling why he was dressed like this, and the emotions he was sensing from Tsuzuki were just confusing him further.

Tsuzuki studied him for a moment. "About last night… Actually, there was something I needed to tell you before dinner too. You remember right?"

Hisoka's mind processed slowly. Last night…? His body froze as he finally remembered _why_ he was in yesterday's clothing. _Oh, God. _Hisoka frantically began to untangle himself from his sheets. "My mother! She--what happened?!"

Tsuzuki stuck out his hand, stilling his panic. "Rui is fine. Her door was still locked, and I scared away…uh, Kasane."

Hisoka took a deep breath. _Think_, he told himself. True, last night hadn't gone as planned. He'd agreed to meet up with Tsuzuki after dinner, but after receiving a list of 'proper bride material,' he'd felt like spending the night alone. Of course he could remember the slight worry that had begun during his short conversation with his father, because he'd been acting odd…That was why he'd gone to his father's room that night. He'd intended on going to his mother's room to make sure she was still safe, and the spell was strong enough with him being away for so long, but the detour was necessary to appease his worry.

He'd done that before. His mother was his number one concern, but sometimes his father just looked so _weary_…

But he hadn't expected Tsuzuki to be there listening while--It had been horrible to hear. He'd seen once, and only once, and it was an image seared into his mind like a scene from a horror film. Tentacles, sweat, blood, and Hisoka _never_ wanted to see his father like that again. The thought that the curse could be that degrading, that Yatonokami had that much control…

No, hearing the sounds, he knew that Tsuzuki could never be allowed to see. The fear in that moment, putting all his strength into holding Tsuzuki back from going to his father's aide, had been choking. Still, that had been nothing compared to what had happened next.

His mother was in danger. Her screams had pierced through him like an arrow. When he'd heard them, he'd known that his worst fears were realized. Something in this house was after her, and due to his selfish deal, he hadn't been there to protect her. If she was hurt, it would be his fault.

But… Hisoka put a hand over his mouth at the horror of the mere thought of it. It hadn't been just _any _danger. Kasane. It was Kasane at his mother's door. A grotesque mutation, wet and rotting, with her body ending in slimy scales. She'd _looked _like his mother. Even dead, she looked so very much like her and--she'd thought he was Hisoka. That _other_ Hisoka.

"Hisoka? Are you alright?"

He yanked his hand from his mouth, trying to control his breathing. It was alright. Tsuzuki had been there, and he--

"How did you do it?" His voice was a mere whisper, the scene playing out in his mind. Kasane's hands were on his skin again, cold and sharp. Then Tsuzuki-- "How did you…get her to go away?" Then Tsuzuki had done something, some sort of magic, and she'd fled. Magic. _A spell._

Agitation rolled off Tsuzuki, causing Hisoka to fidget. "That's…what I wanted to talk about."

And then he'd held him. Hisoka had felt so _scared_, childhood nightmares standing right before him, and she had wanted to take him away… Tsuzuki had been there, and he'd been _safe_. Like when he'd been crying under the sakura.

But he couldn't think about that now. He had to think of his mother. "Then talk. You asked me what is happening in my family but…there is something you and the doctor are hiding, isn't there?" Now was his chance to finally learn the truth. If he couldn't protect his mother any longer, then he had to know.

"Yes…" Tsuzuki looked at him solemnly, fear potent against Hisoka's mind. "You said…you wouldn't hate me?"

He wanted to ignore the need for reassurance _now_. He was so close to the truth, and Hisoka felt as if Tsuzuki was trying to avoid telling him. It was irritating, and he was already nervous enough without him prolonging things. Trying not to snap, because he could feel the genuineness of Tsuzuki's uncertainty, Hisoka replied, "no I won't. Just _tell_ me already."

"Yes but--you promise not to…" There was a momentarily pained expression on Tsuzuki's face. "Promise not to be afraid…of me. You'll promise that too?"

"Of course--wait, what…?" Hisoka paused, recounting the words in his head. He'd been ready for more of Tsuzuki's deliberations, but not that. What could he have to say…that would make him afraid…?

A deep sigh. Tsuzuki re-gathered himself, wiping the anxiety from his face. "I'm sorry. I'm just…nervous. I've told people _before_, but really we aren't supposed to, and I think--well your reaction is more important to me than someone else's might be--"

"Tsuzuki," Hisoka interrupted, "You aren't making any sense. _Just tell me_."

"Right." Tsuzuki was silent a moment before finally speaking something understandable. "Watari and I lied. We aren't doctors. We're Shinigami." Or…perhaps it still didn't make any sense.

Shinigami. Hisoka had heard tales of the 'death gods' and how they personified death itself. Grim Reapers. Those that took life with greedy fists, and cold breaths. Immortals, whose soul purpose was to bring death on a dark string. Hisoka was never sure he believed in such creatures existing. Surely if they did, he'd have seen them long before now, hovering like buzzards around the Kurosaki and their ill-fate.

Looking at Tsuzuki now, it seemed as improbable as ever. The man in front of him was the embodiment of beauty: fine faced, perfect complexion, and a slender build. He didn't look hideous like death should. He wore a business suit, sloppy, and far from a dark cloak used to hide in shadows. Even those purple eyes--yes, _those _didn't seem human--had a cadence of innocence over their incessant guilt and insecurity. Tsuzuki appeared so very real and solid, and those emotions were just _too _human to belong to death. "That's impossible," Hisoka said finally, in a calm tone.

Tsuzuki blinked, the reaction not being what he'd expected. "No it isn't. I really am a shinigami!"

"Dead people wouldn't eat that much! And you're solid. I've touched…When I touched you, you were _warm_." Hisoka's voice forceful in the beginning, stuttered off with embarrassment.

Tsuzuki gave him an ironic smile. "Well, yeah. I didn't say I was a ghost." He picked at some lint on his pants. "We can be solid when on ChiJou, but most of the time we work in Meifu."

"Work in--No, this doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you." Hisoka didn't see why Tsuzuki would lie, or with such a feeble story, but this just couldn't be true. If a shinigami _did_ come to his house…it would be to take his parents away from him.

"But I'm telling the truth. I didn't want to lie to you anymore…" Tsuzuki tried for a weak smile. "I know its hard to believe, but it doesn't change anything! I'm still the same. Everything else I told you about, my friends and my garden, that was all true."

Hisoka took a deep breath. Tsuzuki was radiating nothing but sincerity. Either the man had lost his sanity or he really was a shinigami. Hisoka swallowed the lump in his throat, denying that a part of him _might_ just believe…

Concern. Tsuzuki shifted uncomfortably, eyeing Hisoka's silent demeanor and jumping to all sorts of emotional conclusions over it. Hisoka didn't know how to feel. Conflicting thoughts warred within him. Tsuzuki had been there for him. Since that very first day they had met, he had been there. _Like a friend_. His very _first _friend. Even last night, he had saved him… Why would a shinigami, something--no, _someone_, who was supposed to bring death, be so…kind.

Still, he could remember that initial gut feeling when they'd met, that something had been _off_. Then his sudden empathy with the man had only proved that he couldn't be normal. He also knew that there were secrets the two house guests were hiding. It all came back to him clearly. From the beginning he'd been suspicious. They hid things, and were too observant for their flippant attitudes. Panic was blossoming in Hisoka's chest. Was it all a lie? Had he only been playing with him?

There was truth to what Tsuzuki was saying now. He _had_ performed some sort of spell to deter Kasane, and it had been _powerful_. Even if he wasn't a shinigami, he was a _something_. If they had come here…it could only mean one thing.

"I won't let you take her away," Hisoka said harshly.

"No, no!" Tsuzuki flailed his hands nervously. "We weren't sent to take her!" Tsuzuki's emotions twisted guiltily. "I wouldn't do that to you…"

"Why _else_ would you be here?" Hisoka gave him a hard look, completely ignoring Tsuzuki's last statement, and the emotions tumbling through him.

"You said you wouldn't get mad…," Tsuzuki tried softly.

"Why should it matter?! You only got close to me--You were _using_ me to get to her!" Hisoka was having trouble keeping track of his own thoughts. He repeatedly slipped between believing Tsuzuki was indeed what he said, and denying, no _hoping_, that it wasn't true. But it _was_. He didn't know how, but in his very gut he just _knew_.

Tsuzuki's eyes were glassy, as he tried to smile, but it looked pathetic if anything. "I didn't! I didn't _mean_ to hurt you! Please--_I didn't mean_--" Tsuzuki looked at him imploringly. "Please, we only want to _help_. I promise."

Hisoka could hear it as if it echoed close to his ear, 'I promise to protect you.'

Hisoka gasped, the urgency behind Tsuzuki's words, overpowering. It swept his anger out from under him like a hard wind. This was Tsuzuki, he reminded himself. Those _emotions _couldn't be a lie could they? Words lied, but feelings didn't. "Help? How could you help? Why _would_ you help?"

Tsuzuki exuded relief now that Hisoka wasn't accusing him of anything again. "That's why we were sent! If souls don't show up when it is their time, or if their life force dwindles _before_ their time, we are sent to investigate."

"You came to investigate…what exactly?" Hisoka wasn't sure this sounded right. Tsuzuki made shinigami sound more like detectives, not…killers. Sure he couldn't see Tsuzuki as cold-blooded, but it all sounded so ridiculous.

"You tell me. Your mother was our summons, but there seems to be a lot more going on in this house." Tsuzuki gave him his most earnest look. "You can tell me. I've dealt with all sorts of paranormal stuff before. I'll take you seriously, and I'm sure Watari and I can help."

"So you're only here…to solve a case?" Hisoka didn't want to acknowledge the wash of disappointment and sadness at this revelation. Even if Tsuzuki _was_ friendly, he'd only been nice so he could get information for his case. But he hadn't gotten enough…and now he was asking outright. Once he got what he wanted, Hisoka would be of no use to him. Tsuzuki would leave.

"That's why we were sent…" Tsuzuki took a deep breath. "But…I'm here because I want to make sure you're happy. I _want_ to help you."

The blush that scorched Hisoka's cheeks was not modest in the least. He didn't know what to say to that admission. It was…Tsuzuki was so _sincere_. Somehow after feeling this, it wasn't so hard to believe that if anyone could, Tsuzuki would be able to rescue him from the hell his life had become.

Tsuzuki _was_ asking for more than he knew, however. His family was built on secrets. It was forbidden to share these hidden truths with outsiders. It was not only the fear that kept his lips sealed, but the inability to articulate that the lives they lived were but lies.

Still, he trusted Tsuzuki. For the first time in his life, he felt a connection to another person, and he couldn't put that feeling aside. If there was ever a time to ask for help, and reveal his family for what it was, it had to be now. "I'll tell you the truth, anything you ask, but only if you are completely honest with me as well."

Tsuzuki nodded readily.

"It's a deal then. Could I…Do you mind if I get dressed first?" Hisoka asked. This wasn't really a conversation he wanted to have in yesterday's clothing.

"Sure!" Tsuzuki got up and turned his back, not leaving the room. Hisoka's left eye instantly developed a tick. Hadn't anyone heard of modesty? Privacy?

Getting out of his dismantled bed, he asked, "would you mind waiting _outside_?"

Tsuzuki gave a grin over his shoulder. "I would mind. I'm not leaving you alone until we're _done_ talking! Whenever I let you out of my sight something comes up to distract you!"

Hisoka gave an irritated glare. "Fine. Don't look," he warned. He wished he could keep his face from turning so red. He reminded himself that it wasn't like Tsuzuki _hadn't_ already seen him naked before. Ok, that _really_ didn't help matters. Having the complexion of a ripe tomato, Hisoka pulled a clean yukata, boxers, and a pair of shorts from his dresser.

He dressed quickly, continually glancing over to make sure Tsuzuki wasn't peeking. It was hard not to be embarrassed now. The emotions he'd felt earlier…were cause for some caution. He was almost sure that Tsuzuki…Well he'd had other men look at him _differently_ before…but… Hisoka cut off the line of thought, realizing he'd never stop blushing if he didn't distract himself from thinking about it more.

"You can turn around now."

Tsuzuki spun around beaming. "That was fast! Watari takes sooooo long to get ready in the morning!"

Another mood swing. Great. At least some of those bitter emotions had lessened. It was quite a relief, and Hisoka would rather have this Tsuzuki than an upset one. "Let's not talk here.

"Then where? We…shouldn't be overheard."

Hisoka was apprehensive now, knowing he was about to break at least a thousand family rules, and if he were caught…Well, they would just have to be careful. Hisoka beckoned Tsuzuki to follow him, and then they crept from the house silently. Outside, evening was just lifting into the pink hues of morning, the sun yet to make an appearance in the sky.

Hisoka contained a shiver as goose bumps rose over his arms. It was cold, and he thought that he should have brought a coat. They wouldn't be able to talk outside, not if he didn't want chattering teeth. Making a b-line for the garden, he ushered them into the tool shed.

The shed wasn't very large, but it gave them enough room to move comfortably without invading each other's personal space. Hisoka knew the walls were thick enough that their conversation wouldn't be overheard, and thick enough, that the temperature was a good five degrees warmer than the outside. Hisoka sat on top of the soil bin, while Tsuzuki chose an upside-down utility bucket. An awkward silence descended.

"If you've been…investigating, then what have you found so far?" Hisoka wanted to be sure that if he was going to spill his biggest secrets, he'd get what he wanted first.

Tsuzuki's face darkened. "We found a demon scale. I suppose that belongs to that woman that attacked you. We've also done some blood tests on Rui, and we know why she's sick."

Hisoka's heart palpitated. He knew it! "What's wrong with her?" He couldn't keep his voice from sounding desperate.

"First, I need you to tell me the truth about this family _curse_."

Hisoka bit down on his anger. They did have a deal, and he had to play along to get the information he wanted. "It's passed down to the first born son in each generation, my father being the only exception. My uncle Iwao was supposed to inherit the estate and family responsibilities, but my grandfather chose my father instead."

"Passed down?" Tsuzuki's forehead wrinkled. "Is it the same curse Yatonokami set in the legend?"

Surprise shot through him, and he asked, "so you heard about that? Who told you?"

"Miya told us at the festival after the Mayor mentioned it."

"Yes, the same curse." Miya really needed to learn how to keep her mouth shut. He still wasn't happy that she'd told his father about his conversation with Iwao.

"What does it do?"

"You saw my father's eyes…"

"The first Kurosaki killed a god…" Tsuzuki's eyes lit with understanding. "He didn't die?"

"No." Hisoka shook his head. "Our family has stronger spiritual powers than most, but a mortal is no match for a god. Ren won as far as the village is concerned, but Yatonokami lived on through his cursed. He is bound to the Kurosaki bloodline, and as long as we live, he cannot return. That is why the village honors us so, because they fear what would happen if we were to finally fall to the curse."

Hisoka could feel Tsuzuki's anger and sadness. "That's horrible!"

"We suffer for the sake of the village. There is no other way. However, as generations have gone by, Yatonokami has grown stronger. The Kurosaki's die younger and younger, and our blood grows more tainted. My father is not a weak man, but I fear he won't last much longer. That is why he wishes me to marry. The Kurosaki line has to be ensured, and I'm heir after his death." Hisoka swallowed, determined not to get upset this time.

"Possession," Tsuzuki said quietly. Something passed over Tsuzuki's face and then he queried, "more tainted?"

Ice slipped down Hisoka's back and he shivered. His stomach dropped into his legs as he forced himself to speak. "I'm sure you've seen the painting in the main entrance hall, the one with a large man, dressed as a samurai. That was Ren." The painting took up almost an entire wall, depicting Ren as a man with a long ebony beard, and dark beedy eyes. "And all the family portraits over the generations…I'm sure you noticed their overtly Japanese features…even my mother…" His hands clenched into the fabric of his yukata. "The only reason Ren won, is because Yatonokami was in his human form. Blonde…green-eyed…I'm sure I don't need to elaborate." (1)

Tsuzuki opened his mouth, and then shut it again. The only emotions Hisoka could sense weren't of pity or disgust however. Understanding shone like a sun beam, and Tsuzuki still felt of things like protection and caring.

"If the curse is bound to the males of the family…then who was that woman?"

"My father wasn't favored by my grandfather. He was named heir as a sort of punishment for being thought of as…weak. You see, he didn't marry according to tradition, but instead fell in love with a girl from the village. She was of low class, but beautiful. They married against his father's wishes, so when the time came for the sixteenth generation heir be named, he was picked over his elder brother."

"Rui--"

"Kasane." Hisoka stared down at his feet, trying not to feel the hate that pulsed through him. His father had taken what he wanted; he'd married for _love_. "He was deeply in love with Kasane."

"What happened?" Tsuzuki asked hesitantly.

"She committed suicide, drowning herself in the pond on the estate grounds. She was distraught over the loss of her child." An understatement, Hisoka knew, but he didn't know how to relate the true evil of his family.

"The grave under the forget-me-nots…"

"You went in?" he snapped. Even after his warning, Tsuzuki had gone inside the graveyard. It felt like a minor betrayal.

"It was an accident, I swear! Watari and I were a little tipsy…I didn't really notice where we were going. I wasn't trying to snoop or anything." Hisoka thought that _not_ snooping would make Tsuzuki a pretty bad shinigami by the definition he'd given. Tsuzuki smiled disarmingly. "Why did Nagare name you Hisoka if…You're leaving something out aren't you?" Tsuzuki accused. It wasn't in angry though. It was just a gentle reminder to be truthful, and Hisoka gritted his teeth.

"My father didn't care about family traditions when he was younger. Iwao on the other hand, did everything his father ever asked of him, and followed the family's rules long after he died. Iwao never did forgive my father for inheriting the estate. The 'first' born must be male. My father and Kasane's baby was a girl, my half-sister."

"But with that many generations, it couldn't be the first time a girl was born--" Tsuzuki wasn't comprehending the depth of his family's atrocities. A _shinigami_ not understanding the cruelty of people. How ironic.

"It has. They are killed in their first hour of life. It's as if they never existed."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in disgust. Horror rose like a shadow. "Nagare killed his own daughter?"

"No!" Hisoka looked up with blazing eyes. The shame of his family might be more than he could bear, but even with their disagreements, he had pride in his mother and father. "My father loved her! He wanted to raise her despite our inane traditions, but before the end of her fist month--Iwao demonstrated his loyalty to the Kurosaki name, betraying his own brother!" His voice had turned sharp, but if the emotions he was sensing from Tsuzuki were anything to go by, he understood.

"He killed her…Didn't the police--"

"Police?! We _own_ the police. Our honor is valued above all else, even happiness or the lives of our loved ones." Hisoka's voice softened to a whisper. "But Kasane couldn't take it. Her heart was broken, and even the love of my father wasn't enough. She killed herself to end her guilt and grief."

"You said Kasane was Rui's sister…?"

"They were identical twins. She reminded my father of Kasane even if he didn't love her. My mother on the other hand, had always been hoplessly in love with him. It was unfair of him to use her as a replacement for her sister, but I guess I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that." Hisoka gave Tsuzuki a straight look. "I've told you all _I _know. If you know what's wrong with my mother, you better tell me now."

Tsuzuki sighed, defeated. "The blood results comfirm that her illness is caused by the child she's carrying. We have reason to believe that the baby is part demon."

Hisoka's eyes narrowed. It was as he'd suspected. The child was evil! "How do you know this?"

"Ah…I'm not as good as Watari at explaining it, but in her blood tests, we found a certain kind of toxin. It's given off only by demons and half-demons. It's this toxin that's affecting her."

"Affecting her? Just how bad is this?" Hisoka payed close attention to the slump of Tsuzuki's shoulders, and the tremor of guilt he could feel.

"Watari says that she's already suffering some organ failure. Even if we can somehow end the pregnancy, she'd only have a few months."

Hisoka remembered a time when he was little, and he'd been so upset over something that he'd threatened to hold his breath until he'd die. His father had just frowned and stood with his arms crossed, waiting. It had seemed like hours that he'd lived without air, the world bluring, and the color draining from his sight. A buzz had filled his ears, like angry flies, until the sound alone made him want take a gasping breath. But he'd stubbornly pinched his nose, not taking a breath until he'd passed out cold.

Now he could feel the sensations all over again. It wasn't voluntary, but the air was too thick for his lungs, and he was sure Tsuzuki must have noticed his sudden gasping. His chest burned, and he panted helplessly as that buzzing sounded again. _She's dying_. It played in his head on a loop. So little time, and she was dying.

"Hisoka?!" Hands gripped his shoulders. Still, he couldn't breath, and even Tsuzuki's emotions, paniced and guilty, felt so displaced from where he was. "Hisoka, slow deep breaths. You're hyperventilating."

"I'm not." He was amused to hear is own voice, because he was so sure you needed to breath to be able to talk. "I'm fine."

"You aren't…I'm sorry." The guilt would have been enough to make him pass out completely, but he was breathing now, and his brain was beginning to function again.

"No. You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault." Hisoka was scared, but his sorrow was harder to reach. He'd expected this for so long, and now he felt distanced. Perhaps this was what people meant by shock, he reflected. After all, he felt awfully numb. "So you will be taking her?"

Tsuzuki suddenly hugged him tightly. It was almost painful. "No. Souls don't usually linger. She'll depart on her own." Hisoka wondered if Tsuzuki might have been crying. He couldn't see his face when they were this close, but his emotions were dark enough. "I still want to help though. There has to be a way to break the curse."

Hisoka hesitantly lifted his arms and embraced Tsuzuki back. Closing his eyes, he sighed. "I trust you…" And he meant it.

**AN: (1) **This was no where in the Manga. I came up with this theory entirely on my own. A few things support my theory that Hisoka has at least some demon influences.

First off, his healing and recovery times are insanely high. When Tsuzuki wakes up after the Kyoto incident, Hisoka is already completely healed, and reading a book. Also, for those of you who have read the Hana to Yume chapters after the eleventh volume, you know that Hisoka heals from Kurikara's energy blast, which is supposedly impossible, and at the same time miraculously heals Kojiro's wing, saving his life. Even for a shinigami, this seems above normal to me.

Secondly, if you look on page 143 of volume eleven, then you'll see that Ren is the classic ugly Japanese scary dude you usually see in paintings. Nothing odd about him. He looks Japanese. If you've read anything from this arc, then you'd know that Rui also looks like a traditional Japanese woman. On page 188 of volume eleven, it also shows a picture of all the framed photos of the Kurosaki lineage. They all seem to have dark hair too. Now even the most laymen with genetics and heredity could figure out that blonde hair (a recessive trait) wouldn't pop up out of nowhere.

Thirdly, the thing that gave me reason to make this theory, instead of just believing that Matsushita wanted to created pretty blonde men, is the picture on page 187. It doesn't say specifically who the man dressed in armor and carrying a sword is. One this page it says, "Your ancestor…that man…killed me while in human form!!" Either we can believe that the man drawn is Ren or Yatonokami in human form. His outfit, which looks kind of like what a samurai would wear, supports that it might be Ren. The only problems I see with this is that the Ren from the painting (and all other pictures of him) looked entirely different (although that could just be Japanese art style), and that he looks blonde. Why would a man from that era who is such an elite Samurai, be blonde (much less why the genes would pop up for Nagare and Hisoka if it was Ren)? That leads me to believe that this is the human form Yatonokami is speaking of. Notice that it _is_ blonde… Hence where my theory was born from.


	21. Chapter 20

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: You were all waiting for a Kyoto reference weren't you? Oh…and warning, just some minor death in this chapter. No biggy…

**Chapter 20**

"What are you doing?" Tsuzuki asked anxiously from the door. Hisoka hadn't told him the plan, only that he needed to get something, and Tsuzuki needed to be look-out. They couldn't be caught. Why they couldn't be caught in the store room behind the kitchen, Tsuzuki didn't know.

He was holding the lantern that Hisoka had thrust into his hands. The room was plenty bright since the kitchen was located in the main house where there was electricity, and he didn't know why they'd taken it.

"Shh! Make sure no one is coming." Hisoka was searching the floor with his eyes, and Tsuzuki glanced through the crack in the door quickly. The cook was busy making something that looked suspiciously like cinnamon rolls, and Tsuzuki began to salivate. He wasn't used to waiting this long after waking up to eat.

"Come on!" Hisoka hissed. Turning around, Tsuzuki was surprised to see a hatch door open in the floor. Hisoka motioned him forward and took a careful step into the darkness. Apparently there was a flight of stairs that led down. "Give me the lantern."

Tsuzuki handed it over, following into the small opening as Hisoka descended. Hisoka only paused to make sure Tsuzuki closed the door. They were cast into darkness, the lantern lighting a small sphere around them. A bit more light that was coming in though a small window, gave dimension to the space. "Is this…a cellar?"

"The basement. Only part of it is used as a cellar. It is comprised of several rooms, some for storage." Hisoka paused at the base of the stairs, glancing around warily. Tsuzuki could see that these other rooms were barred off like jail cells.

Hisoka shivered.

"Are you cold?" Tsuzuki asked instinctively. It _was_ chilly down here, but the darting looks Hisoka was giving the room at the far end of the basement, told him that it wasn't the cold that was getting to him.

"No." Hisoka swallowed. "Even when I was a child, I was afraid to go in there. I get a really bad feeling…It's why my father thinks I won't go in."

Tsuzuki remembered Hisoka admitting similar fears about the large sakura on the hill, and wondered at his innate fear of certain places on the estate. "If you don't like it here, then why did we come?"

"This is where he puts things he doesn't want me to find or look through." Hisoka held up the lantern and hesitantly approached the largest cell. The door opened with a loud creak, no lock in place. "Somewhere in these boxes is a duplicate key to my mother's room."

Tsuzuki followed in understanding. If he knew his mother wouldn't live much longer, of course he would want to see her again. "I'll help!"

Sitting amongst the piles of boxes, he began to rummage through the contents, trying to find the antique key. Hisoka continued to shiver, sweat dewing his forehead, but he had a determined expression as he hurriedly went through boxes.

Tsuzuki took a deep breath and asked tentatively, "you believe in feelings about places and…people, right? So do you believe in past lives too? Like…the story of O-Tei?" He fumbled through a box as if the question wasn't important.

Hisoka paused, looking at him in the dim light. "Feelings? I…suppose. Well, I always thought my dreams must be about past lives…but I have a hard time remembering them."

"What about people? Have you ever had a feeling about a stranger? Like déjà vu?" Tsuzuki knew he was reaching, but he didn't know how to asked what he _really_ wanted to know. It was all came down to the hotel room.

Yes, he had begun dreaming of that hotel and his sleeping partner even before leaving Meifu. But it hadn't been until that morning, walking into Hisoka's room to find him sleeping… The boy had been curled in on himself, buried under his blankets. Only blond hair had showed, and as he had walked around the bed…it had been just like his dream, only this time, he'd been able to pull back the blankets and see his face. The person he'd been dreaming of, was Hisoka.

"I…" Hisoka blushed, averting his eyes back to the task at hand. "A little when I first met you."

Tsuzuki's heart thudded loudly in his chest. "Have you ever had any dreams about me?"

"What kind of question is that?!" Hisoka was blushing madly now, and Tsuzuki knew he'd asked the wrong question. But asking, 'Have you ever dreamed about being in a hotel room,' didn't sound right either.

"Never mind," he muttered, pulling down a new box. This one was filled with framed photos, most of them of Nagare and Rui. Although…he realized that with the content smile on Nagare's face, it was probably Kasane.

"Found it!" Hisoka finally exclaimed. He held the rusted key in his hands, examining it. "This should work."

"We need to meet up with Watari before breakfast. He'll want to know everything you told me, so we can figure out how to break the curse." Hisoka shifted nervously. "Or, I could tell him…if you don't mind," he supplied.

"Sure," was Hisoka's only answer.

They left the cellar as they'd found it, careful not to be caught by the kitchen staff. It was difficult, because the smell of cooking cinnamon rolls was like a siren's call to Tsuzuki's stomach. Hisoka had to practically _drag _him out of the side door when no one was looking.

Tsuzuki knew that the dream about the hotel room couldn't be a past life since he'd been a shinigami in it, but he liked to imagine it was his current life. Hisoka distractedly holding his hand, and finishing their secret mission, this felt like how partners should be.

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When they reached his room, he was annoyed to find Watari still asleep. "Watari!" Tsuzuki whined, as he hit him over the head with a pillow. All he got was a disinterested grumble in response. Hisoka stood sheepishly near the door, watching the fluttering owl above the whole scene with apprehension. "Watari get up! If you hadn't been up so late sending crack e-mails to Tatsumi, then you wouldn't be so sleepy now!"

"Nn…Tsuzuki go away. I don't wanna deal with demons today," Watari groaned into his pillow, half-awake.

Hisoka cleared his throat. "So Tsuzuki was telling the truth when he said you two where shinigami?"

Watari froze for a moment, and then the next thing Tsuzuki knew, the man was springing out of his futon like a fire was lit under his butt. "You're here!" Yanking the wild curls back from his face, Watari gave a large grin. "So Tsuzuki finally got a hold of you, did he?"

"Uh, yes…" Hisoka bowed respectfully, not used to talking to Watari directly.

"No need to be so formal! Just a shinigami posing as a doctor!" An awkward silence fell. "Ah…right. Well it's always hard to find an icebreaker."

Tsuzuki shook his head in shame. Sometimes Watari could be more tactless than himself. "We talked this morning. I thought we should try to figure out the game-plan before breakfast." Tsuzuki took a deep breath, and began to recount what Hisoka had told him. The Kurosaki heir was silent during the exchange, glaring determinedly at his feet. Tsuzuki threw him worried glances, feeling awful that Hisoka had to expose his family like this.

Watari nodded thoughtfully when he was done. "So the curse is real. Interesting." He began pacing, murmuring to himself. "Yes…he must be growing stronger…The child could be used…Too weak to make is own physical form still…but if there was no vessel…?"

Tsuzuki coughed. "Um…Watari? Care to share with the rest of us?"

"Oh! Right! Well, it's obvious that Yatonokami intended to use Rui's unborn child to break away from the curse." Watari gave Hisoka a considering glance. "You said yourself that with each generation Yatonokami has been getting stronger. However, just as the curse bound the bloodline to sickness and early death, he is also forced to lay dormant until the last of the Kurosaki's die. It's a catch twenty-two. He needed the curse to survive after the battle with the first Kurosaki, but now he's stuck. Even if Nagare and Hisoka were to die, he'd have to expend a great deal of energy to create a physical form again. He must be planning Rui's unborn child to be a vessel in which he can use."

Hisoka's eyes widened. "Then we have to stop him! We have to stop the pregnancy!"

Tsuzuki felt his gut twist, that guilt returning again. It was innocent, he wanted to say, but was too afraid to upset Hisoka. Why did no one understand that it deserved a chance to live like anyone else?

"You are aware that ending the pregnancy wouldn't save your mother, correct? Tsuzuki explained this to you?" Watari asked calmly, but there was a bit of sympathy in his eyes.

"I know…I've expected for a long time…but it doesn't mean that she deserves her last months to be in suffering. At least without the baby…she could live even for a while, free." Hisoka clutched the key Tsuzuki knew to be in his pocket. Hisoka truly cared, and Tsuzuki wanted to make everything better, if only for that feeling not to be in vain.

"If we induce labor, still born or not, she won't survive in her weakened state. We don't have any choice." Watari looked thoughtful. "If I could look at her again…perhaps some sort of spell could work. It's worth a try."

Hisoka nodded. "Of course."

"But the main curse, that's where it'll get tricky. Even if we try to somehow exercise the demon from Nagare, we'd have to break the curse first. It would be powerful, but if we don't, by right he can move to either Hisoka or the fetus. If we broke the curse, he'd move automatically to the baby. We'll have to make it impossible to use the child as a vessel, find a way to break the curse, and _then_ exercise Yatonokami from Nagare. The fun part would be trying to kill him after he's free. If we're lucky, Yatanokami will be weak enough." Watari stopped and looked at them expectantly. "How does that sound?"

"Not easy at all…," Tsuzuki said dejectedly.

"Well, I never said it was going to be _easy_, but I'm sure we can find a way."

"As long as there _is_ a way," Hisoka stated firmly.

"Yes, but how are we going to get into Rui's room? I heard you gave your key to Nagare."

Standing straight, in a way Tsuzuki supposed was meant to gather his pride, and ignore the truth of that statement, Hisoka held out the key he'd hidden in his pocket. "I have the spare. We can get in as long as we aren't caught. There aren't anymore keys after this one."

"Good! We can sneak in tonight. If things work out, then we can devise a plan, and this case will be wrapped up in no time!" Watari said cheerfully.

A sort of dread filled Tsuzuki's stomach. He didn't want the case to end. Sure, he wanted Hisoka to be happy…_but with him_. It was impossible, he knew, but he couldn't help what he felt. Hisoka was human, had a family, and most likely would be disturbed if he knew Tsuzuki's feelings towards him. But the Hisoka from his dreams…was his partner, who said, no promised, to stay by is side. They were meant to be together, and what he felt in his heart as he watched him sleeping…

Tsuzuki was more than torn between what reality and his heart were telling him.

A bell sounded throughout the house, signaling that breakfast was ready. Tsuzuki's stomach gurgled hopefully, but inside his spirits were sinking.

"Tsuzuki." Hisoka caught his attention as they walked from the room. "My father expects me to be searching for…a suitable woman to marry. In order to uphold pretenses, I'll have to leave after breakfast."

"Oh, I understand," Tsuzuki said, gut turning further. Was he jealous? Angry? He couldn't tell, and he was starting to feel irrational over the whole thing. He'd be in so much trouble if he was ever caught with these feelings over a mortal. He'd never had problems walking away from feelings of attachment before…but…

Hisoka gave him an odd look, like he could feel the turmoil roiling inside the older man. "I'll return by dinner, and we can meet once the house lights are tuned off."

Nodding, Tsuzuki was first to enter the dining room, and the sight of fresh cinnamon rolls, was suddenly unappetizing.

qpqpqpqpqp

"So, did he take it well when you told him we are Shinigami?" They were in the garden, which Tsuzuki found to be strangely different without Hisoka's company. 003 was playing in a flowerbed, while they sat on the bed divider, leaning back to bask in the sun.

"He didn't believe me at first…I'm still not sure he does. I think he found it harder to believe we wanted to _help_ him." Tsuzuki picked at a stray weed that had made its way into the elegant flower clusters.

"I'm just glad we're getting somewhere. I'm really starting to miss home."

Home? Tsuzuki wasn't sure he had a home. Of course, he'd lived in Meifu for over seventy years, so it must have qualified as one by now. He had friends to return to…and his job. He'd have a new partner waiting. They probably wouldn't last longer than a few weeks…

"Why the long face?" Watari watched him, blond curls almost too bright in the pre-noon sun.

"Just thinking. Tatsumi will have found me a new partner by the time we get back."

"I know. That's good isn't it?"

"Good? I guess…" Tsuzuki thought that if longing could bring something into reality, he'd wake-up at that very moment from this nightmare, and find himself in the hotel room. He longed for it with an intensity he'd never felt before. To him it wasn't just a dream. It was like the Hisoka from the dream with the grave stone had said. He'd forgotten. The hotel room with his partner was simply a place in time he'd forgotten…

"There is something else?" Watari asked knowingly.

"Have you ever dreamed something that felt so real, you believed it was true?" Tsuzuki stared at the sun until he saw green dots in his vision.

"Sometimes. Once I dreamt my gender-changing potion had worked, and when I woke up I was almost convinced it had." Watari chuckled at the memory.

"What about…something that should be impossible? Would you trust the dream, or logic?"

He could almost hear Watari's frown in his words. "Logic can't be abandoned for wishful thinking."

Tsuzuki sighed. "You've never felt things should be different?"

"Different? You mean without regrets?"

"No…like it didn't feel right."

"Like something was _missing_?" Watari asked.

"Yeah…"

In a rush of movement, Watari was leaning over him, a hard gleam in his eyes. "That's what you were saying before, when we had that argument…You were talking like this, and you tired to brush me off. Just _what_ are you talking about Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki berated himself for not being more careful. He'd wanted the conversation to be casual. Now Watari was suspicious of him. "Just a _dream,_ Watari. It…isn't important."

"It doesn't sound like it the way you're acting. Just what kind of dream did you have?" Watari knew Tsuzuki was prone to bouts of depression, and Tsuzuki valued his concern but…

"Things were just _different_." Tsuzuki sounded irritated.

"Different _how_?"

"I had a partner alright?!"

"A partner…?"

"Yes, I had a partner. He…stayed." Tsuzuki cursed the miserable noted in his voice. It made him sound pathetic.

"Oh, Tsuzuki." Watari smiled at him sadly. Tsuzuki thought it pitying and hated it. "I'm sure you'll find the right--"

"No! I won't! The dream--only this person…only he would stay." Tsuzuki pinched his eyes shut, still seeing the sun under his eyelids. If it were just reality… If Hisoka were his partner, he would never have to be alone again.

"Tsuzuki…" Watari tried for a gentle tone. "Did you see his face?"

He couldn't say. How could he possibly explain? Watari would never believe him. "Watari…if things weren't right, would you try to fix them?" He wouldn't answer Watari's questions, but he knew he was on the edge of something he could never return from.

"Tsuzuki, you're scaring me." Perhaps his serious tone was frightening, or was it the bizarre line of questioning? Either way, it didn't seem unreasonable to him. He opened his eyes to see Watari frowning.

"Relax Watari," he said with a false grin. "I'm only talking hypothetical after all."

Watari eyed him silently, not at all convinced.

qpqpqpqpqp

To say things were tense, would be an understatement. Watari had him under constant scrutiny. Tsuzuki didn't know how to take back what he'd said, but it just laid there now, a dampener between them.

"He was late to dinner." Tsuzuki brushed his damp hair from his eyes. They'd bathed early tonight so they could sneak out later. He'd had too much time on his hands today, Hisoka being painfully absent. Watari had been glued to his hip, and pestering him incessantly. Watari was a master at manipulating people into unconsciously divulging information, and Tsuzuki had worn himself out trying to keep his mouth shut.

He'd been more than a little shocked when Hisoka had arrived to dinner late. Nagare hadn't said a single word, but Tsuzuki couldn't help but wonder what had kept the punctual youth. Perhaps he'd met someone he'd liked? Tsuzuki tried not to react to the thought.

"The plan is still on for tonight." Watari toweled his hair impatiently.

"Yeah." Tsuzuki sighed, and searched through the pocket of his pants until he fished out a left over cinnamon roll. He pouted when the napkin stuck in the frosting. He was just lucky that the Kurosaki used the fancy cloth kind, or he'd be eating paper.

Watari suddenly threw his towel to the ground, and glared at him angrily. "There is no such _thing _as hypothetical. Not when it comes to _people_."

Tsuzuki froze, sticky frosting on his lips, and eyes wide. Blinking several times, he swallowed the ball of doughy bread in his mouth. Of course Watari wouldn't lay-off now, not when he'd said so much. He supposed if their roles were reversed, he would be just as persistent.

"What are you planning on doing?"

"Nothing. It was only a dream. I told you--"

"You told me a lot more than you think. I'm not _blind_. I can see that you've been acting_...funny_. I want to know what's going on!"

"There is nothing going on. Would you just leave me alone?" Tsuzuki stood abruptly.

"No. I won't. You know I won't. Just tell me. I'm more trustworthy than you're giving me credit for." Watari sounded caught between anger and hurt.

Tsuzuki knew it wasn't about trust. Watari had responsibilities just like all of them. He wouldn't be able to understand Tsuzuki's connection to Hisoka without experiencing it like he had. He could only see the impossible, and as per his responsibilities, contact Tatsumi.

Under the pretense of checking to see if the hall was dark yet, Tsuzuki remained stubbornly silent. Until he could show proof of what he felt, or have it validated by Hisoka, he'd keep this secret solely to himself.

"Tsuzuki—" Watari tried once more.

"Lights are out. Time to go." His tone had hardened into a businesslike brisk one. He didn't want to talk any longer.

Watari glared at him, hands on his hips. He appeared like a scolding mother. "Fine, but I'm beginning to understand why all your partners left. Partners are supposed to _trust _each other. I can't get heads or tails of what you're thinking half the time. You certainly don't trust me, and the way you're acting, I can't trust _your_ judgment, that's for sure."

Tsuzuki swallowed Watari's words whole, and let them burn in the back of his throat. It was proof of his inability to do things right. Watari was his closest friend, and even he couldn't handle him anymore. "I'm sorry," he uttered quietly, but walking from the room, he gave no doubt that he still wouldn't talk.

Tension draped over their silent walk to Rui's room. Accusation and frustration chilled the edges of his senses like dry ice. Friendships could turn stiff and brittle in secrets and silence, and Tsuzuki prayed their's would survive.

"Tsuzuki." He wondered, alarmed, if Watari would pick up their argument right there in the hall. He certainly hoped not.

Watari's hand came forward, and he pointed with a jab of his hand. Turning to look in that direction, he could see a tall figure walking. It could only mean Nagare was also out late. Feeling panicked, he sent an anxious glance Watari's way.

"I'll take care of him. You go ahead."

Tsuzuki nodded, and watched only long enough to make sure Nagare had been intercepted by Watari. Attention diverted, Tsuzuki made it through the rest of the house undetected. He hoped Hisoka had arrived with similar ease.

Outside the sky was a bruised plum, the blue eclipsing into a veiny purple. There was a rusty brown strip in the distance that signaled a summer storm fast approaching. It had yet to rain since he'd come to the Kurosaki estate and now they were in for a pretty nasty one. A grumbling rolled along the hills to the east--the start of thunder.

A tingle crept up Tsuzuki's arms and along the back of his neck. He didn't know if it was the static electricity building in the air or a strong sense of foreboding. Shaking himself free of the sudden chill, he walked the distance to Rui's door. It was shut, but the lock was hanging loose and not snapped into place. Hisoka was inside.

Tsuzuki had witnessed many vigils in his time as a Shinigami: mother's praying at the bedsides of their children, families distraught over loss, and the ruined innocence of children being abandoned. Still, nothing engraved into his mild quite like the sound Hisoka was making as he pushed the door open.

Hisoka was like a wounded animal, keening under despair. It washed over Tsuzuki in a could wave, disturbing him much more than the thunder outside. Hisoka sat in his chair, knees pressed to the mattress edge, as if just keeping himself from crawling up onto the bed and curling into his mothers side. His elbows dug into the comforter, both forearms framing the full-length of his mother's left arm, ending with his hands cradling his mother's limp one. Eyes hidden against their clasped hands, he sobbed helplessly. Tsuzuki watched the tremor of his shoulders, and the sorrowful glint of moisture trailing past his chin. His lips were parted for pained gasps of air.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry…," he cried against her palm. "I don't want you to leave! Please…Why do you have to die?! I don't want to be alone!" He tightened his grip to the point that Tsuzuki feared he'd break her wrist.

Tsuzuki shut the door behind him, the usual scream of the hinges swallowed by a boom of thunder outside. The storm was moving closer. Cautiously, he walked to the bed, afraid to disrupt Hisoka in such a state. He was astonished to hear the murmuring from Rui become a cohesive string of language. "Hisoka…H-Hisoka…Hiso…ka…" Her eyes stared unseeing at the ceiling, but it was clear she was here with her mourning son.

"Mom…" He was breathing hard, as if trying to pull back from the bitter emotions he must have been experiencing, choking on his tears as he did. "I tried. I'm sorry."

Tsuzuki took a step forward, just behind his quivering form. He didn't know what to say, or if Hisoka had even taken notice of him. He felt like an intruder, spying on his vulnerability and stealing a private moment between him and his mother. But…Watari would come at any moment and Hisoka needed to be spared the grace to hide what wounds he didn't wish to reveal. Tsuzuki understood. "'Soka?"

"Don't look at me!" Hisoka tried valiantly to stem his tears while flinching in his chair. His shoulders drew together painfully with the effort. "I don't want to be--" Tsuzuki could almost hear the word as if it were spoken: _weak_.

"His…oka…Hisoka…" Rui murmured her mantra. Hisoka clenched his teeth at the sound, back rolling with a new crash of emotions.

"Hisoka it's ok. It's ok to be scared and upset." Tsuzuki stood as close to Hisoka as he possible could without actually touching his back.

"This can't be real," he whispered desperately. "I don't _want_ this…to be real."

Tsuzuki took in the words and opened his mouth thoughtfully. Whatever was on the tip of his tongue vanished however, when the door was yanked open on its rusty hinges. A flash of lightning illuminated the man looming in the door, briefly showing the grin set wide on his face. Tsuzuki's entire body went rigid as _something_ was thrown inside. He jerked forward, but the door slammed firmly into place, a loud click afterwards telling him they were locked inside.

The object looked like a bottle, glass now shattered against the far wall, its contents splashed over the hanging fabric. Red hot flames spread quickly over the kerosene damp cloth. It was like the line of a whip, heat snaking around the room.

They were in trouble.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki yelled. He was a shinigami and would survive, but if Hisoka was burned badly or even got severe smoke inhalation, he wouldn't.

Verdant eyes reflected the fire, turning as bright as a neon sign. Greens, oranges, and yellows danced menacingly between widened lashes. He coughed against the smoke rising from the ground and stood over his mother, griping her shoulders as if to shield her.

"Hisoka! We have to get out of here!" Tsuzuki grabbed his arm, drawing back sharply as Hisoka lashed out, throwing him forcefully away.

"No! I'm not leaving her! I'd rather--" Hisoka pulled her closer, coughing on the vicious plumes of smoke. The fibers of the wall decorations were highly flammable, sheets of fabric being devoured by the second.

Tsuzuki covered his mouth with one hand, eyes stinging from the heat, and tried to wrangle the teen in again. It was hard enough to teleport others, but near impossible when they were fighting it tooth claw and nail. The fire was scorching the walls black, the heat trapped in the small metal box like a cooker, making the air waver in blurs as a mirage would in a desert.

The room was small and the fire was spreading faster than he could think.

Yellow teeth caught the edge of the bed, coming dangerously close to Hisoka and his mother. Along the wall, the flames were arched high, closing around the ceiling. They were literally surrounded, and the heat was smothering, likely using up all their oxygen. A beam on the ceiling, solid wood, cracked ominously under the onslaught.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki grabbed him viscously around the middle and hauled him back from the bed just as the beam crumbled. Rui twisted on the bed like a rag doll, was buried under the burning embers.

Hisoka strained in his grasp for a moment, letting out a feral cry, before going boneless. "NO! No, no, no, n-no…" His eyes pinched shut as he coughed harder.

Tsuzuki turned him, pressing Hisoka's face into the safety of his coat, and wrapping his arms around his back to protect him from the fire. The room was swirling with red hot ash now, and the smell of burning flesh was revolting. He tried to straighten his dizzy brain and concentrate on escape.

The black plumes of heat seared his finger tips with a movement of air, and Hisoka suddenly clenched his fists in the back of Tsuzuki's trench coat.

Through the heat and nausea he didn't sense it a first, that ghostly hand snaking in through the back of his skull and covering his eyes. A soft surge of power enveloped him, and that was when his muscles contracted. From the moan issued against his collarbone, Hisoka was sharing his sentiments.

His world was spinning, and his eyes didn't want to focus. All Tsuzuki knew, was that he _wanted to die_.

It was something he wished for so fervently, that pain couldn't be a factor. Touda was his friend and understood. _Burn_. It would all be over soon. Finally. _Finally_, he could be free of his burdens. His sins could burn along with him. _It would be over_.

The room was vast, but the eerily black flames darkened the space, closing in around him, making it seem much smaller. He could count the consumed floor tiles as seconds he need wait for release. The fumes were enough to make him gag and sputter, but he forced his lungs to endure, breath after final breath. _Soon_.

Even without the flames touching him, his flesh peeled in the intense heat, fighting to heal. His hands were red, one with blood (another's) and the other in blisters. He pushed them to the sky like a plea. _BURN_, he wanted to scream from his cracked lips. Burn it all away.

_The shrill laughter of a child echoed between his ears with the screams of innocents._

He was so tired, so very tired. Lived too long. Hurt too many. It all had to end. Despair stole over him like ice, unbreakable even in the strongest flame. He'd never managed to escape his past. Now it would finally be over. Perhaps atonement could be found only if he finally succeeded in what had eluded him for so many painful years--death.

But even the pain of being seared alive couldn't smother the emotions twisting in his chest. He was surprised that they could find a place in his tired heart. After all this…_fear_ still hung in the back of his mind. He feared death, _true_ death. Would Touda's flames be enough to disintegrate his soul to the point of nothingness, or would enough be left to be condemned to hell?

_Hate_, because he hadn't ever managed to bring anything but death and ruin. His life had hurt others and yet he had taken so long, much too long, to die. All those years, and it only meant more blood on his hands.

_Regret_, because even if he didn't deserve it, he wished he could have seen everyone one last time. He would die, and he couldn't say goodbye. They wouldn't miss him, he assured himself. He was a burden. Only a burden.

Unbidden, he kept seeing Hisoka's soul-searching stare, behind his own charred lashes. Then arose _longing_. He was weak for hopelessly wanting be with him. The flames hurt more than he'd imagined, and his mind pleaded for an escape. Images of his partner offered such solace, but it made a terrible ache in his heart which he couldn't dismiss.

Over the popping of wood, and the roar of flames, he could almost hear the sound of Hisoka's voice. He'd always thought that Hisoka's voice was deceptively smooth for someone his age, but the pitch was still high enough to sound like the wind through autumn leaves.

Blank amethyst eyes turned perceivably towards the sound, and widened when he saw Hisoka inside. He was here. In danger. _The flames…oh god_. He could hear the voice, but the words themselves stirred in the hot air and dissipated into nothing. He shouted for him to go back, fearful of the thought that Hisoka might too die because of him. It was one death he couldn't bear.

Hisoka was so close, eyes blazing brightly though the ebony smoke, which was as silky as shadows. They glistened with defiance and fear and…Tsuzuki could feel the tears brimming in his own eyes. It hurt so much…He was so tired…He just wanted to… "It's alright now Hisoka," he assured softly.

Hisoka stood stock still at his words, and he prayed he would leave. _Be safe_. Eyes sparking, the blond held out his hand, delicate and the most beautiful thing Tsuzuki had ever seen. Tsuzuki knew it now, Hisoka must have been an angel in disguise all along. Nothing could be that magnificent and possibly be real.

He turned his head sadly. He didn't deserve such an offer. _No redemption_. "I lived plenty long enough," he whispered. _So long_. So many years. "I'm so tired…" Of being here. Yes, so much pain and… "I'm not supposed to _exist_."

From the beginning he was born from sin. An abomination--he should have never been brought into existence. Was he death from that first breath? Only suffering, surely that meant he shouldn't have _been_. If only he'd never been born. So many lives could have been spared. He _was_ evil.

"That's why I'm going to…" The words were swallowed in a gust of scorching air. He flinched when Hisoka flung himself into his lap. He was small and fit perfectly in the span of his arms, pressed solidly to his chest. He could feel the choking breaths on the crook of his neck, and the furious shaking of that small back. Hisoka clenched his fists into the sleeves of his yukata, clinging so hard the fabric threatened to tear. "Hisoka…," he gasped bewildered.

"I want you to exist even just for me!" Tsuzuki couldn't breathe--couldn't think. This couldn't be real. He couldn't be saying… "I don't want to be left alone!"

_Oh Hisoka_… He lifted his arms hesitantly. Hisoka didn't like being touched, but here he was…in _his_ arms. Would he be…allowed _this_? He gave in and held Hisoka gently, as if he might break under his fingers. Burnt Denim settled under his grasp, and it was _solid_ and _real_. "This is the only place for me. Just here…in your heart…" Hisoka folded into him as if it where true. Their hearts beat together, chests so close they could have become one. He _needed_ him, _wanted _him, and it was the first time anyone had ever given him _purpose_.

"Is it all right for me to be here?" He wanted to make sure. If he could live for Hisoka…then maybe it _could_ be ok. As long as Hisoka needed him, he could stand to live. A small nod against his neck, and everything felt right.

All this pain and resignation, and now for the first time he felt truly happy. He could be enough. _He could live_.

They closed their eyes, coughing on the air that tightened their lungs. Silence stretched for a moment before Hisoka whispered close to his ear, "is this real?"

Tsuzuki took in a gulp of air, and it was surprisingly clean and wet. Opening his eyes, he saw a dark sky. Clouds were rolling overhead, with rain sprinkling down on his upturned face. Hisoka was laying over his chest, curved under his arms, face resting over his shoulder. "Hisoka…?" he asked disoriented and trying to understand what had just happened.

"Was that real…?" Hisoka sounded as close to passing out as himself, his voice raw. Tsuzuki could feel the dry quality of his mouth, and the burns over his back and arms healing. The rain was soothing to his skin.

"'Soka," he breathed. "I won't ever try to leave you again…"

He could hear shouts from far away, and hands trying to pull them apart. Slowly he lapsed into darkness, as thunder echoed in his ears.

AN: If you noticed, I based the Kyoto flashback off the dialogue from the anime. I find that there are a lot of discrepancies between the manga and anime, the manga usually being more accurate in my eyes. So while most of my plot is based off the manga, we all know the Kyoto scene was better in the anime. I mean which sounds more like love: "I belong right here…by your side," or, "This is the only place for me. Just here…in your heart…" Obviously the anime was more shounen-ai oriented and less in denial.


	22. Chapter 21

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

Thanks to: My beta reader, Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf

AN: Yes, that's right! I killed his mom!! I couldn't wait any longer (does that make me evil?)

**Also, **I need to address some questions that were brought up in reviews but I didn't get a chance to answer. The Kyoto flashback was _just _a memory which was triggered due to the situation and the fact that they were touching while so emotionally charged. Tsuzuki teleported them out of the fire. I thought that this was obvious because that is what he was attempting to do before the flashback…but I guess this is just one of those things that I should have made more clear. I thought about adding something to this chapter to make it more clear, but I couldn't find a place to fit it without it sticking out oddly. So there you go.

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 21**

There was a time, shortly after his thirteenth birthday, in which he was bedridden for a week. He was sick and fevered, with some the sort of stomach flu that made him incapable of keeping anything down. He'd spend hours sleeping, then some staring aimlessly at his bedroom ceiling. In his more lucid periods, between bouts of disoriented thought, he'd try to decipher his dreams from reality.

At moments he could smell the scent of sakura so strongly it would make him gag, and the moonlight streaming in through the window would tint itself red. He'd hallucinate the strangest sensations, like fire ants marching lines over his flesh.

That week ran in hours, which were counted in minutes, and it seemed to never end. He would wake up gasping, and sometimes imagine he was in a hospital room. But it was in those rare moments of rational thought, when he tried to segregate reality from illusion. Mind fogged, and heart racing, he would repeat his name quietly and accept only the truth. Pain could be put aside if he just transferred it neatly into the illusion category.

Hisoka sat on his futon, arm outstretched obediently, so that Miya could bandage the burn that spread from just above his thumb to his elbow. All considering, it was a light wound, the sting more of a relief than anything. In his head he repeated 'Hisoka,' not allowing his thoughts to crowd in on him. But when 'Hisoka' turned into the weak murmuring of 'Hi…soka…soka…' he'd swallow hard and deny the words their realism.

His lungs still ached, and he could almost taste the ash on his tongue. Hisoka looked dully at his own wrapped arm, and then to the figure standing in the corner. The room was entirely silent, the air weighty, and unsure. Miya was tense, not looking up from her work. Tsuzuki, the only other occupant of the room, was for once, staying quiet.

He had never truly lost consciousness. One moment they were in the room and flames…and then--they turned black--but the next second they were collapsing on the walk together. Somehow, Tsuzuki had saved him. In the dream, he'd saved Tsuzuki.

Nearly the whole house's staff had come to help them, most attempting to snuff out the flames.

It wasn't a miracle. Hisoka knew there was only one answer as to how Tsuzuki had gotten them out of the fire through a locked door, and only one answer on how he'd managed to do so unscathed. He could still feel the searing heat of the fire closing in around them, and Tsuzuki had shielded him, only his arm being exposed against Tsuzuki's back. Still, through the charred mass of fabric along his back and upper arms, Tsuzuki had no burns of his own. It wasn't a miracle; Tsuzuki was a shinigami.

Tsuzuki had changed, and Watari had treated Hisoka's wound. Miya was left to bandage his arm, and Watari went to talk to his father. Everything proceeded so silently and so normally that no one would think a woman had just died. Hadn't just died--she had been murdered.

But Hisoka had a hard time thinking straight. Tsuzuki was a shinigami, yes. His mother was dead, yes. The fire was meant to kill them all, yes. That dream had been real…no? Tsuzuki had saved him, yes. Without any burns, yes. He was alive, yes. Everything would be alright, no.

It was numbing, and he couldn't keep the checklist from running in his head over and over until he was sure it would sink in at some point.

Miya released his arm, and retreated from the bed. The silence was excruciating--more painful than any burn. He wanted to scream, but it all died in his throat. He didn't have the energy, or the words, to voice what he felt.

There was nothing he could do anymore.

The door slid open after a time, immeasurable in the absence of sound, and his father walked in followed by the doctor--no, Watari. Hisoka didn't look at them. There was no reason for any of them to bother him really. What could be said? His mother had just been murdered, and he'd narrowly escaped death. Were there words for that?

"The fire has been put out," his father stated. Should he be glad? Hisoka wondered if he would have cared much if the fire had spread, perhaps burning down the entire estate. He certainty didn't care at the moment. He said nothing. There was a long pause, long enough that he was sure he was expected to speak, but he ignored it. If he was going to answer to his father, then it would be for a worthier comment than that.

Watari continued through the room to stand solemnly by his partner. Hisoka glanced at them through the corner of his eyes. Watari was calm and impassive, not giving away anything in his facial expressions. Tsuzuki, for his part, wasn't showing much more. Only the small trickle of emotion Hisoka could sense, let him know that Tsuzuki was in a similar state of shock, confusion, and numbness.

"Sensei, if you could please excuse us. I wish to speak with my son privately." The words were voiced calmly--infuriatingly calm. There was a buzz of tension in the air where no one spoke. Tsuzuki didn't want to leave, Hisoka could feel it. Although his own body was tired, and his mind unusually inattentive in the face of his father's sharp focus, he could feel the tightening of Tsuzuki's nerves as if they were his own. It was like a jolt up his spine, worry and protectiveness so potent, Hisoka came back to himself a little.

"Of course," Watari said politely, pulling Tsuzuki along when it became apparent he was hesitant to leave. Miya followed, a relieved expression on her face. She knew better than to be caught between the two under such tense circumstances. They closed the door and feet could be heard retreating down the hallway. However, Hisoka could almost taste Tsuzuki's emotions, and knew he must be standing on just the other side of the wall. Somehow…his presence was assuring.

"Explain yourself." His father stood firmly, looking down at him with a hard face, arms crossed over his chest. His blindfold was removed for once, and those slitted eyes were narrowed. Hisoka glanced up once, registering his father's apparent anger, before studying his hands again.

"I wanted to say goodbye," he whispered, voice hoarse.

"I explicitly forbade you from visiting Rui, and you did so anyway." The tone was cold and unforgiving. Hisoka wondered if his father felt any remorse at all for his wife's death. Something heavy and cold was dropped into his lap. "You may keep the spare as well, seeing as how you went through all the trouble of procuring it against my wishes." With a shaky hand, the one that wasn't burnt, Hisoka picked up the rusted key. How could he be so cruel as to return it now?

"She's dead," Hisoka stated blankly. Irrationally, he convinced himself for a moment, that his father must not know yet. How could he act so distanced if he knew? Surely he couldn't…

"I know."

Hisoka swallowed back the bitter taste in his throat. How could someone not be crying? Screaming? A person--his mother--had just been stolen from them, and yet nothing was being said for her loss.

"Someone killed her and--" _And you are acting like nothing's happened!_

"It was a tragic accident. Nothing more," his father warned. Hisoka's eyes shot up disbelievingly. He wanted to…deny…? Another family secret to be swept under the rug, was that what his mother was? Did she no longer hold any importance to him, now that she wasn't acting as a stand-in for her older sister?

"Accident…?" Hisoka couldn't bring his mind to process any faster than it was. His father's betrayal bit into him where he was already weak.

"Yes. A lamp tipped over. It will be an accident." So easily did those words flow from his traitorous tongue. They pounded between Hisoka's temples loudly and he thought he might be trembling from the force.

"Like when Dr. Hazama fell from the old school building…?" Hisoka's voice didn't change by even a decibel, but the air between them became denser.

"That is a completely unrelated matter," his father answered sternly.

"And the police will believe you…They'll agree with whatever you say…," Hisoka thought aloud. The injustice of it boiled under his skin, and he scowled. "She was murdered!"

"That's enough."

Hisoka shook his head, ignoring the wave of dizziness the quick motion caused. He wouldn't show any weakness, not now. "No it isn't! You have to do something!"

"There is nothing to be done. She has already passed."

"BUT HE KILLED HER!!" Hisoka spat. Fury trembled through him, and his fingers clenched in his futon. "Iwao killed her!"

"Hold your tongue!" His father's eyes flashed dangerously with a threat unvoiced. "You will do well to respect your family! Understood?"

"No!" Hisoka looked up at him with scolding eyes. "No I don't _understand_! He tried to kill me! He succeeded with mother! When will you stop protecting him!?"

"You have no proof. Stop throwing such salacious allegations." A dark stare. "It was no more than an accident, and will be regarded as such."

"Iwao will stop at nothing! You can't pretend that he isn't dangerous! I almost died--"

"Your shameful disobedience is what put you danger! If you had only listened to me, boy, then neither you or the doctor's life would have been at stake!" His voice rose steadily, until Hisoka could feel the full sting of his father's accusation--his disappointment.

_You don't want a son! You only want a Kurosaki robot, who will show no emotions, and sacrifice his life for this damned family! _"At least I loved her! You--you feel nothing at all!"

"Don't presume I know nothing of loss! I _cared _for Rui deeply." Lies! All lies! Hisoka didn't want to hear his father lie about something so important _now_. How long had his mother wished he would love her back? How many times had she looked in the mirror and wondered if he would have ever married her if it hadn't been for the face she shared with her sister? All that time, and he never confessed feeling love. _Caring? _How dare he mock her now!

"Loss?!" Hisoka forced himself to stand, locking his knees in place so he wouldn't fall. "It's all Iwao's doing, and yet you do nothing!"

"Quiet--!"

"He took your child away from you! Kasane! He killed Dr. Hazama, and now Mother! _I_ nearly died. If it weren't for Tsuzuki--"

"If it weren't for your impertinence, Rui's room would have been locked! We wouldn't be having this conversation!"

Hisoka stumbled back as if stung by the words. He couldn't breathe in the long stretch of silence that followed. It was true! So very true! He wanted to shrivel up and die in that moment, not wanting to believe that his mother could have died because of _him_.

Tsuzuki's anger spiked through the wall, and it drew Hisoka's own to the forefront. Hadn't his father been the one who had backed him into the corner? Hadn't he only sneaked into her room to say goodbye? On any other ordinary night, he would have been there anyway…That meant…

"No…Iwao meant for me to be there…" The conversation from the festival came back to him hauntingly. He never thought Iwao would have the gall to go through with his thinly veiled threat. He truly wanted to take out all chances of a heir from his father…so he could take on the family rights again. He wanted to take back what he'd been denied when Nagare was named sixteenth generation heir.

"Hisoka--"

"Iwao wanted me to be there! He planned for me to die with Mother! He wouldn't _know_ that I wasn't supposed to be there! Father, he isn't going to stop!" Hisoka resumed his impassioned tone, trying to persuade his father into seeing the truth.

"Iwao is a member of this family! He wouldn't jeopardize our name!"

"Of course not! He knows you'll cover it up!"

"I have no choice! We must think of our reputation!"

"When will _we_ think about our _family_?! What will pride matter when we are all dead? Is there no regard for the lives being taken in this senseless feud?! You could have him arrested! There could be justice!" Hisoka was panting, lungs burning from overuse in their damaged state.

"It isn't an option--"

"He wouldn't think twice before killing you too!"

"He is my brother!"

Hisoka could only gape. "He doesn't care about you! You are not obligated to protect him! You could tell the police everything and it would finally be over!"

"Nothing would be over! Dragging our family's name through the mud would only bring us more pain. It would solve nothing! Rui would still be dead! We would still suffer under this wretched curse!" His father took a ragged breath, pinning him with a dragon's glare. "You may wish to escape what your name means, but it will be easier if you learn early not to fight it."

Not fight? Hisoka couldn't think of a worse existence. How could he give himself up to these rules and regulations? How could he hand his body over to Yatonokami?! Why was it, that he should be expected to accept _any_ of this?! "So you condone murder! Will you look the other way when it is my corpse he presents to you?!"

"Perhaps then you would be spared my suffering!"

Hisoka choked on his next words, shocked. "You wish me to _die_?"

"You are my one and only son. I have watched you grow and suffer being a Kurosaki. I know what lays ahead of you when I pass. When I think about the fate I'd be leaving you to…" Regret, and the first sign of sadness flitted across his father's face.

"We can't give in! None of it is an excuse to not to do what is right! Everyone he killed deserves justice! We can still fight! Didn't you used to believe in that? Isn't that why you married Kasane?"

Nagare's face hardened again. "I was a fool. You're a fool! I will not send my own brother to jail!"

"He's taking everything from you! From me! You still _forgive _him?!"

"He is my flesh and blood! I will not dishonor our family!"

"You are now! Your wife and child have been taken ruthlessly--twice!! You dishonor them!" Hisoka never thought he'd feel shame towards his father. Never before did he think he would feel hate towards the man he'd looked up to as a child. Now he could finally see him for what he was--a coward.

"I do what I must."

Hisoka gathered all the vehemence he felt, hissing his next words. "Then I can no longer consider you my father! I will not abandon _them_!"

Nagare looked taken aback, eyes widening at his son's boldness. Mouth turning into a thin line, he answered calmly, "hate me if you will, but eventually you will have to accept what it means to be a Kurosaki--what it means to shoulder your responsibilities."

Hisoka ignored his light-headedness, and stood as proudly as he could. He didn't regret his words. They stared each other down for a long minute, heat shimmering in the air. The excess of raw emotions could easily have been hotter than the fire he'd just escaped from. With a sigh, his father turned away--turned his back on his family.

Nagare walked from the room without another word, and Hisoka continued to stand where he was, staring hatefully at the closed door. He felt no loyalty to his father at the moment. All his sympathy over the family situation, and his past losses, drained away with his boiling rage. The realization came to him, that none of it had to have happened, if only his father had stood up for himself. He _allowed _his daughter to be slaughtered. He _allowed_ his wife to suffer and eventually end her own life. He'd _allowed _his mother to waste away in a windowless cell. He'd _allowed _her to die. And now, now he was _allowing_ his brother to get away with it all.

Hisoka couldn't forgive him.

Hisoka stood in his room alone, trying to gather where his life would go from here. He no longer had anything. His mother was gone. His father, good as. He was alone. Alone. He took a staggering breath, but found himself calmed. Strangely enough, he could still feel that reassuring trickle of emotions, meaning that Tsuzuki hadn't been caught listening in by his father. Tsuzuki had stayed long past their conversation. He was right _there._

"Tsuzuki?" he called warily.

Even from the hall, he could sense the relief and longing that flared at his meek voice. Even when everyone else left…Tsuzuki had _stayed_. Hesitantly, his door opened. Tsuzuki's form was fuzzy on the edges, nearly transparent, before it became solid. Hisoka wondered if he hadn't had his heightened spiritual awareness, if he'd have been able to see Tsuzuki at all. It was obvious that shinigami had more abilities than healing themselves.

Tsuzuki walked in and quickly strutted across the room. He only waited until he was within reach, before pulling Hisoka tightly against his chest. Hisoka squirmed in the surprise embrace, cheeks flaring. "Hey! Let me go!" Giving Tsuzuki a sharp jab, he was released.

"Sorry," Tsuzuki said pouting. "Are you alright?"

Hisoka wasn't sure if he meant his wound, the loss of his mother, or the fight he'd just had with his father. All he knew, was that Tsuzuki's unending concern was starting to become frighteningly comfortable. "I'm fine," he said shortly.

"No you aren't." Tsuzuki looked down at him gently, purple eyes warm.

"Whatever." Hisoka crossed his arms over his chest uneasily. His life was a mess, Tsuzuki was there to witness it, and he was only looking at him _that _way, with _those_ emotions. It didn't help that the dream from the fire was still fresh in his mind, vivid in its details. He could almost feel Tsuzuki's arms, the flames, and the desperate pleas for him to _stay,_ flying from his mouth. Those emotion still rang in his heart, dislocated from another place and set of events. They were still _his_, even if he couldn't fully comprehend where they came from.

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki was staring at him intently. He wanted to say something, Hisoka could feel it.

Hisoka looked at him grudgingly, biting his lip at the strange string of emotions bombarding him. "What?"

Vulnerability. Tsuzuki was nervous. "I want to ask you again, and please take me seriously. Have you _ever_ had any dreams about me?"

He analyzed the question for a full minute, trying to figure out what Tsuzuki could possibly mean… Had he seen… Hisoka thought about all the strange 'dreams' he'd had since he'd met the man, the connection that had been there from the very beginning and how it had grown deeper since then. He had nothing left. No one…except Tsuzuki. It couldn't last forever, but for now, it was enough.

"…I have…"

AN: An evil cliffy...I know. Next chapter is what you all have been waiting for.


	23. Chapter 22

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Waiting for them to finally get it? I was too.

**Chapter 22**

"…I have…" Hisoka looked up at him with dark, tentative eyes. "Tsuzuki, there is something I haven't told you…"

Tsuzuki had to suppress the urge to hold onto Hisoka regardless of his protests. He had been scared after the fire. The vision of Touda's flames (hot enough to burn clear through one's soul) had intermixed with reality, and when he'd come to (with the most horrendous headache he'd ever experienced) his first concern was if Hisoka had been injured. His bandaged arm was enough to incur Tsuzuki's guilt.

Now Hisoka looked pale, and Tsuzuki knew that his tough-guy act was just a disguise for what he must really be feeling. His mother had died, and his father had refused to listen to his own son.

Tsuzuki bestowed him with a kind smile. As anxious as he was to question him, Hisoka looked ready to fall over. "And I'll listen, but why don't we sit down first?"

Hisoka eased himself down onto the futon, and Tsuzuki sat besides him. Hisoka sat with his legs drawn up, arms around his knees, and chin resting on top. He looked small, and Tsuzuki wanted nothing more than to console him with a hand on the shoulder at the very least. Sadly, Hisoka didn't like to touch…unless he was too upset to _protest_, that is.

"What did you want to tell me?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I suppose it's like you said, you've dealt with all sorts of paranormal situations before…so nothing would surprise you, right?" Hisoka looked at him expectantly through the thick curtain of his bangs.

Tsuzuki's brow furrowed. He wasn't sure about _nothing_ surprising him, but he knew that wasn't the answer Hisoka wanted to hear. Something was making Hisoka apprehensive, and he was sure it was about whatever confession he was about to make. "That's right," he said finally.

"It's only with you…," came the soft whisper, "after I tried to wake you up on the first night you came here."

He could remember when he'd woken up in that dark room to see Hisoka shaking, how frightened he'd seemed, and at the time worrying that Hisoka was keeping something from him. He'd been right. "That night you were reading to Rui…?"

"Yeah." A pause. "I don't know why…but when I'm around you…I feel things." Hisoka closed his eyes. "Like what _you're_ feeling."

"You mean…emotions?" Tsuzuki wasn't very good at understanding these sorts of things, but he could vaguely recall a conversation with Watari on the subject. But…they had been talking about telepathy. Emotions would be… "Empathy?"

Hisoka nodded minutely. "It's never happened before. Only…when I'm around you."

He'd thought they were connected. He'd hoped Hisoka would be able to shed some light, and perhaps validate what he'd been feeling as of late. This, however, was a bit more than what he'd expected. Tsuzuki had never met someone with this particular ability. It was supposedly very rare, although he couldn't recall why. "What is it like?" he asked curiously.

An emerald gaze landed on him, contemplative for a moment. "I just feel them, your emotions…and they are different from mine. Most of the time they are really strong, especially when it first started happening. Now it's less…overwhelming." He was still talking in a low voice, sounding almost awkward.

Tsuzuki wondered on his statement before realization hit. "That was why you didn't want me to touch you in Rui's room or the bath! Does that make it worse? Touch I mean?"

An instant blush darkened Hisoka's cheeks, and Tsuzuki refrained from laughing. He looked so cute when he was embarrassed! The blush intensified, and Hisoka gave him a quick glare, reminding Tsuzuki that he was probably receiving everyone of his emotions. "It's stronger with proximity." Tsuzuki gave a nervous smile, unconsciously lifting some barriers into place. "When we touch…I see things."

That brought Tsuzuki to a halt. "See things? What kind of things?"

"I don't know," Hisoka said honestly. "It's mostly pictures, and it's hard for me to make sense of it. I thought it might be what you were dreaming of that night, but even when you are awake it happens."

Tsuzuki was just a little relieved to hear he hadn't seen anything incriminating. His mind wasn't always a safe place. "Dreaming? You saw something the first night?"

"I tried to wake you up." Hisoka gave the first sign of a smile he'd seen since this whole mess had begun. "You were sleeping like a log. I had to shake you." His features darkened. "The first time it happened, it hurt. I thought my head was going to split open. It was really confusing, and all I could see were pictures of this room."

Like every night, Tsuzuki knew he'd been dreaming of that hotel room--of his partner. He took a deep breath. "Did you recognize the room?"

"No. Why would I?" Hisoka looked at him oddly. "It was your dream wasn't it?"

Tsuzuki nodded ruefully. "You're right. I was dreaming about a particular place that night." Trying not to feel disappointed, Tsuzuki asked, "so the next time would have been in the bath, right? You looked like you were sick, and when I touched you, you started acting like you were having a seizure." Tsuzuki lit up in comprehension. "Now that I think about it, you didn't calm down until I shielded!"

"You can do that?" Hisoka asked surprised.

Tsuzuki shrugged. "Yeah. I don't do it all the time because it would waste energy, but it's relatively easy."

"That's why your emotions weren't so bad after that…You where shielding?"

Tsuzuki beamed. "Yup!" He then wilted slightly. "Was that why you were avoiding me? Because I was too painful to be around?"

Hisoka timidly looked him in the face. "I didn't like it, and your emotions were so strong…I thought it would be better if I didn't get too close. Besides, if my father found out…He is afraid of anything abnormal. I guess I can't blame him."

A little guilty, Tsuzuki wished he had known all this from the beginning. "You said that you've had dreams about me…Does that mean I was in the things you saw?" Tsuzuki was amused when Hisoka's blush took on a whole new dimension of red.

"When you were--uh, carrying me, I had a really strange dream. You were in it." The words were rushed, and Hisoka's eyes were solely trained on his feet. "It's why I stopped avoiding you…I was curious."

Tsuzuki didn't want to be caught so excited, but this was what he'd been looking for. "What was it about?" Hisoka glanced at him quickly. "It could be important," he added.

"I'm not sure…" He closed his eyes as if thinking back. "We were standing by a railing, and there were some large buildings in the distance. It was raining really hard." He blinked. "In the dream, I had the feeling that that didn't happen often."

"Anything else?" Tsuzuki hoped for something more substantial to go on.

"Ah…" The blond was fidgeting now. "You called me your partner. That's all."

He wasn't going to jump to conclusions but… "Can you remember what the buildings looked like?" A place that rarely rained…and he'd called him his partner, just like in Tsuzuki's own dreams…

"Why does it matter?" Hisoka asked suddenly.

"I just thought there might be a reason for them…You didn't think they were important? You said that you decided to get to know me because of it," Tsuzuki pointed out.

Hisoka scowled. "I don't really remember what they looked like. I couldn't see them very well. There were a lot of sakura trees in front of them."

Tsuzuki couldn't hold back the triumphant grin that spread over his face. He felt a lot more sure about himself now. Deciding to be bold, he asked bluntly, "you saw what I did, didn't you? Back there in the fire."

Hisoka's whole spine stiffened, snapping straight, and his eyes widened in shock. "You saw…?" he asked hushed.

Tsuzuki's grin diminished only slightly. It would be painful for Hisoka to think about the fire that had just claimed his mother's life. On top of that, the vision hadn't been a pleasant one. Tsuzuki knew exactly what it meant for him to have summoned Touda--to welcome his flames. He'd been at the door of death…but Hisoka had come to pull him back. Tsuzuki could still hear his words. _'I want you to exist even just for me! I don't want to be left alone!' _They pulled at somewhere deep inside him, and he had faith that they were real, even if that fire itself had never happened. _'This is the only place for me. Just here…in your heart…_'

"Black flames like that _only_ come from one of my shikigami. There was no way you could have dreamt that up." Tsuzuki's smile softened to an affectionate one. "Do you think your 'dreams' matter now?"

"But…," Hisoka spoke hesitantly, "that never happened. None of the things I've seen have."

"We've both seen them! That must mean something!" Amethyst eyes turned imploring. "Haven't you ever felt like something wasn't right? Like something was _missing_?"

"I…don't know." Hisoka eyed him nervously. "Even when I was little, night after night I'd have dreams…" He rubbed at his forehead, eyes closing. "_Nothing_ has _ever _felt right."

"I was unsure about it…and I didn't want you to think I was weird, but if you were seeing things about _me_, then me seeing things about _you_, can't be weird, can it?" Green eyes were trained on him again.

"You've been seeing things about me?"

Tsuzuki enthusiastically nodded. "I started having dreams before we came to Kamakura. I don't usually have dreams like these, so I thought they might be important."

"You dreamt about me, even _before _you came here?"

"Well…it's hard to explain. I didn't know it was you until this morning." Tsuzuki looked at his wristwatch absently. "Yesterday morning I mean."

Hisoka held up his hand, and rubbed at his temples this time, indicating that he probably had a headache. "Explain," he said shortly.

Tsuzuki thought about his dreams, and how he could phrase them without sounding like some sort of stalker or pervert. They seemed perfectly innocent to him, but he'd gotten into trouble before for saying the wrong things. "Well, we're both staying at a hotel, as is _usual _for cases. It's hard to explain, but I get this urge to check on my partner, but whenever I try to see the face of who it is, I wake up."

"Then why would you think it's me?"

"I can only see how they are sleeping, and the top of their head, but yesterday, when I came to talk to you…It's you. I know it is!" Tsuzuki was absolutely sure, but Hisoka seemed skeptical.

"I don't know…This all sounds rather coincidental. It's not like you saw me."

"It was you. Haven't you ever just felt sure about something? You didn't know why but you had no doubts?"

The blond picked at the bandage on his arm. "Like trusting your gut?"

"Exactly! Besides, haven't you felt it from the first time we met? Like we'd known each other before?" He was finally getting somewhere, and Hisoka was beginning to look convinced. He could see it in the dawning expression.

"So the dream I had of us in the rain, that fire, and the hotel room…you think we knew each other in a past life?"

"But I was a shinigami in all the dreams. It couldn't be a _past_ life. You were my partner, like Watari is now." All the happy feelings Tsuzuki had accumulated at the idea, crumbled when Hisoka pointed out a major flaw in his fantasy.

"That would mean _I_ was a shinigami. I'd have to be dead, right?"

Tsuzuki froze, a chill traveling up his arms. _Hisoka would have to be dead_. It was ridiculous that the thought hadn't occurred to him before. Here he was hoping that that other world could be real, that he could have a partner, but he had never taken into account what that hope would cost Hisoka.

It would have been wonderful to have a person like Hisoka in his life, but for many of the same reasons, Hisoka didn't deserve to die. Tsuzuki didn't want his own happiness to come at the price of such a precious life. The idea alone of Hisoka dying, with regrets enough to make him a shinigami, was horrifying.

"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka's eyes held compassion and a morbid sort of resolve. "It's not your fault that that is what we are seeing." Tsuzuki had the strange notion that Hisoka had managed to pick up on the turn of this thoughts, even with minor shields in place. "After all…death isn't very foreign to me. I'll die young as it is, without really living much of a life."

"I shouldn't have brought any of this up."

Hisoka's gaze turned severe. "It doesn't make it any less true. Stop feeling so guilty. You're right, I don't think they are just dreams. From the moment we met…I knew there was something there, and now that I'm beginning to see what it might be, I want to know the whole truth. Even if it's unsavory, my life isn't exactly going great now, is it?"

Tsuzuki shook his head. Hisoka couldn't know what he was talking about. No one would _choose_ a life as a shinigami over true life. "You shouldn't talk like that!"

"Just _talking _about it isn't going to do any harm." Verdant eyes narrowed calculatingly. "_Seeing_ it, isn't going to do any harm. If there _is _anything going on, then we should at least _know_ it right?" Steadily, without blinking, Hisoka extended his hand. It was the one that was bandaged, the fingers reddened.

Tsuzuki stared down at the hand offered to him, seeing again that call for salvation in the black flames. He was being given a chance at something he didn't deserve. It was temptation. He knew he couldn't peruse this errant fantasy any longer. Just because the thought of someone _actually _caring for him had filled him with longing…didn't mean it was his right. He shouldn't have pulled Hisoka into it at all. He had enough to deal with in his own life without Tsuzuki bringing up impossibilities…

"Trust me," Hisoka said coaxingly. "I heard what I said in the fire…I felt--I'm following my gut too, Tsuzuki." His fingers spread welcomingly. "Take my hand."

He wasn't hurting anyone, Tsuzuki assured himself. Hisoka was asking _him_ now. He couldn't deny him could he? Just to see… Steeling himself, Tsuzuki gently curled his larger one around that delicate hand. Their fingers intertwined, and Hisoka gasped.

Tsuzuki observed as Hisoka's spine curved in a pained sort of way, his eyes pinching shut. He tried to pull back, but Hisoka clenched his hand in a death grip. "I'm fine," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Focus…on that room…" Tsuzuki's eyes fogged as he felt that wispy invasion into his mind. His shields trembled, and then dropped as he surrendered to Hisoka's mental touch.

There was a second of broken consciousness, like the gap between dreams and waking, before he stood in the middle of a small hotel room. Hisoka stood by his side for a moment, unsure of his surroundings. The room had two queen-sized beds, separated by a small table. All the lights were off, the light outside indicating some time after dark. The curtains were drawn, moonlight spilling over a square table behind them. Over its top were stacks of papers and a manila folder.

Hisoka walked silently to the table, while Tsuzuki's eyes stayed on the beds. One was empty, as if its occupant had recently left it, blankets wadded uselessly at its end. The other, however, held someone. Tsuzuki's heartbeat quickened, eyes trained directly on the sight.

The figure lay partially on his side--for Tsuzuki was sure now it was a he--with the blankets drawn clear over his head. Ash blond strands poked over the top of the comforter. Carefully, afraid that the dream would dissolve at the crucial moment yet again, Tsuzuki took a step forward. The carpet was threadbare below his feet, making little sound as he reached the bedside of his partner.

His chest squeezed tighter and tighter as he looked down at the edge of those blankets, fingers trembling. "Please…," he begged. Finally, in one swift movement, he yanked them back. Exposed, was a sleeping blond, with a face only slightly younger than that he'd been recently acquainted with. "…Hisoka…"

"Tsuzuki?" He couldn't draw his eyes away even as the voice answered behind him. Everything was affirmed for him in that moment. Hisoka really was the partner he'd been hoping for. The one who had stayed, the one who cared, was sleeping soundly before him.

"It's you…," he breathed.

"I…," Hisoka trailed off, now seeing what had caught Tsuzuki's attention. "It's really me…"

"I can't believe…" Tsuzuki absentmindedly brushed some locks of wayward hair from his partners face, before realizing that the very same person was watching him from behind. Covering the warm surge of emotions at this revelation, Tsuzuki forced himself to turn away from the bed.

Hisoka stood by the table, expression unreadable. "You should come look at this."

Tsuzuki walked to the table, and shuffled through the papers that littered it. Hisoka had already opened the folder, and Tsuzuki immediately recognized it as a case file. "This is the case…A missing soul in the Momochi area." The date gave him some surprise. "This is from more than a month ago…"

Hisoka handed him a paper, scrawled notes listing victims and information. "That's my handwriting," Hisoka said in awe. "And look," he said, passing him more papers. "I wrote all these too. I was trying to find connections between the _people_ who'd died."

"But this case never--" He wanted to say, happened, but he knew that none of their visions had. Or, perhaps this was the true reality and…

"Tsuzuki." Hisoka pointed to a hospital address written on the hotel's stationary. He recognized his own penmanship, and the messy note on the bottom.

_First victim died in Fukuoka Emergency Medical Centre. Room A204. Resident nurse: Fuwa Nikiri._

"I don't understand," Tsuzuki said with a frown. This all seemed very real, but it had never happened. A month ago he'd been working a case in Nagasaki--a simple retrieval. Nothing was fitting. Why were they seeing this?

"All these people…" Hisoka was flipping through a list of names, eyes wide. Tsuzuki noticed that he was rather pale as well. Without thinking, he rested a palm on Hisoka's forehead; it was dewed with perspiration. Hisoka cringed.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern.

Leaning heavily against the table, Hisoka answered, "yes. Now look through as much of this as you can. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up."

Tsuzuki had forgotten how much of a strain he'd said his empathy caused. He must have been in pain. Peering through the list of victims, and as much other paperwork as possible, he was all too aware of Hisoka's increasingly ragged breathing.

"Tsuzuki--!"

It was all the warning he had before he was being slammed back into consciousness. It took him a few deep breaths before he could open his eyes. Wincing at the pulsating stab at his temples, he took in the sight of Hisoka's bedroom. Somehow, he'd ended up lying flat, sideways over the futon. Slumped to his left, was Hisoka.

"Nn…'Soka?"

A low moaning sounded from the teen's throat. Their hands were no longer latched together, and Hisoka's was instead covering his eyes. "Did…you get enough from the papers?" The voice was stressed, and Tsuzuki knew he must have used a lot of energy to allow them to see that.

"Doing that twice in one night must be exhausting. You should lay down properly." Dragging himself from the futon, he offered the full space to the other.

Weakly, Hisoka straightened himself. "It was real…We really worked together…"

"How many names do you think were on that list? One-hundred? More?" Tsuzuki thought on it solemnly before sighing. "Why…? Why are we seeing these things?"

"That case was supposed to have started more than a month ago…Do you think…," Hisoka trailed off before finally gathering his conviction. "Do you think it could have really happened?"

Tsuzuki wasn't sure. The here and now seemed very real, and yet the things he'd seen were also convincing. The details and emotions… He wasn't sure. It seemed too elaborate for this whole life to be a hoax. "I don't know. How would that even be possible?"

"You're asking me?" Hisoka scoffed. "Well, what could souls be used for? That's a lot to be missing right?"

"Yeah…I've never seen that many assigned on one case. Souls are essentially energy, so when they go missing because someone is taking them…it's usually for food or--"

"A spell?"

The wheels began to turn in Tsuzuki's head. "You don't think…?"

Hisoka moved his hand from his face, and gave Tsuzuki a look that told all. "It doesn't sound possible that we could be under a spell right now, but…"

"Your gut?" Hisoka nodded. "Me too."

"What does this mean?"

Tsuzuki was shocked by the question. Mean? What did it mean? They had just found out that there could be something influencing them and their reality. What should they do? Could he go to Watari with this? But everything that was going on…They still had to break Yatonokami's curse. He was on a case _now, _but if…somehow there was something amiss, then he had to fix that, didn't he?

Hisoka was a shinigami. He would be dead.

He wasn't sure if he did want to go into anything deeper. What was the harm with how things were now? It didn't seem like this was false. It felt so very real. Why couldn't…Hisoka would be _safer_ here.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," he tried to say casually.

"You're kidding right?" Incredulous eyes drilled into him. "We both know that something isn't right here. Even if…" Analyzing his wrapped arm, Hisoka spoke firmly, "I know I should be more concerned with the curse now…and Iwao, but…" Hisoka suddenly slammed his fist into the bed in anger. "I don't want to think about any of it! I don't want to be here! I don't want this to be reality!"

"Hisoka--"

"What if there is something more to this? I can't help but feel that this is all wrong and that those dreams…Could you really just forget it? Could you forget me? My mother was your summons right? We no longer need a physician now…You'll be leaving. We might never…" Hisoka broke off blushing. "We might not have another chance to fix things."

He didn't know what to do. Hisoka was right. The case would be over soon, and they would never see each other again. If those dreams even had a _chance _at being real, how could he not try to look into things. This could be their only opportunity. Could he forget those dreams…those feelings of deep-seated caring? Could he forget _Hisoka_?

"There might be something I could find in the files in Meifu. I'd have to go there to see."

"Take me with you." Hisoka struggled to sit up, energy still sapped.

"What?" Tsuzuki couldn't believe his ears.

"Take me with you. I can help. This concerns both of us, doesn't it?"

"Hisoka…we could get into big trouble for this--no, we _will_ get in trouble. Your father won't be happy if you disappear, and if we can't figure things out, you'll have to face everything when you come back. The situation as it is now…won't go away." Tsuzuki guiltily watched as his words resulted in an angered blush from the young Kurosaki.

"I know that! I don't care! I can't stay here anymore Tsuzuki! I don't want to be a Kurosaki or the next victim to my family's feud. I want to make my own decisions, and I'm deciding to go with you."

A warm swelling lifted Tsuzuki's spirits. The last words Hisoka had stated with such conviction, reminded him of what had been said in Touda's flames. He couldn't help but believe his heart. They were meant to be partners. This reality wasn't right, and there was little doubt left in him.

"Alright." He gave a sweet smile. "But it will be dangerous. Shinigami aren't supposed to just let mortals into Meifu without permission, but there is no way I'd be able to convince Watari about any of this. We are going to have to sneak in. As soon as Watari realizes we are both gone, he'll be sure to notify someone in Meifu. We can't be caught."

"What will happen if you're caught?" Hisoka asked seriously.

Tsuzuki noticed that he hadn't asked about any of the consequences to himself. "It certainly won't be good. We definitely wouldn't be able to finish our investigation, or try to fix whatever is going on."

"When will we go?" Tsuzuki noticed a slightly eager note in Hisoka's voice. There was a strong chance that Hisoka was just trying to escape the shambles his life had become, but Tsuzuki liked to think that at least part of him was doing it because he actually wanted to be with him.

They wouldn't have much time if they waited. The more Watari suspected, the harder it would be to sneak out undetected. It didn't help that Watari was a night owl, or that they didn't have many days left on this case. It would be an even shorter window of time if Nagare decided that their services were no longer needed. Then they would have to solve the case without their cover.

"Tonight." Watari would be tired enough to fall asleep right away. He could leave then, and he and Hisoka would have until morning to find what they needed. It was all they time they would be able to get.

"Tonight?" Hisoka tried to not show his surprise. "Alright. Should I pack?"

Tsuzuki marveled at his readiness to leave everything on a belief, but admired him at the same time. "Pack light. Do you have any normal clothes?"

"Idiot. You don't expect me to where yukata in the city, do you?" The old clipped tone reassured him. Everything would be fine. They could figure it out together.

"We don't have much time. I'll go back to my room and pretend to sleep. As soon as I can, I'll come back here, and we'll go. Understand?"

Hisoka nodded, and suddenly repossessing strength he'd been lacking only minutes before, he stood and quickly strode to his dresser. There he began to pack a couple days worth of casual clothes.

Tsuzuki didn't say another word before leaving. Secretly, his heart was hammering. He only hoped they wouldn't be caught before they could discover the truth. He was really putting a lot on the line for something he had no evidence to back-up.

Watari was already changed for bed and turning off his laptop by the time Tsuzuki arrived. It was close to two in the morning now, and he knew their time was only dwindling.

"I'm exhausted!" Tsuzuki exclaimed as he flopped onto his bed in his clothes.

"How is the kid taking things?" Watari asked through a yawn.

"I think he's too mad at Nagare right now for it to sink in that his mother just died," Tsuzuki said remorsefully.

"It's horrible isn't it? His own uncle doing all this?"

"Yeah…" Tsuzuki sighed into his pillow, wishing that he didn't feel as tired as he did. He wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight after all.

"I think I'll report in the morning. I'm too tired to do it tonight." Watari turned off the light and snuggled under his blankets, 003 nestled in his hair.

"Night," Tsuzuki mumbled.

"Night."

Watari didn't snore. Tsuzuki had listened to him fall asleep enough during their case to know that he didn't. Watari was however, a talker. He spoke enough during the day: cheerful conversations, muttered observations to himself, and long talks with 003, but he didn't seem to run out of words once he was asleep. It wasn't too bad actually. The words were so slurred and quiet, that one might not even notice.

As soon as Tsuzuki heard the tell-tale sounds, he got back to his feet. He was right in thinking that Watari would be tired tonight. It had taken less than ten minutes for him to fall asleep. Tsuzuki didn't bother to pack anything. He could get clothes from his apartment. The only task he did accomplish, before leaving in spirit form through the wall, was to take the budget card from Watari's coat pocket.

AN: Rule breaking, how fun! Stay tuned for next chapter and don't forget to review!


	24. Chapter 23

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: I really love Hisoka. He is so my favorite character after Watari. Also, some of you will be happy for some minor fluff moments in this chapter.

**Chapter 23**

Hisoka paced anxiously in his bedroom. He wasn't sure if he was making a rash decision or not. The longer he waited for Tsuzuki to return, the more nervous he became. In the last couple of years he had dreamed of what it would be like to run away. He'd imagine packing and going anywhere but Kamakura, but in those imaginings, he never thought he'd be running to Meifu. Another city, the country side perhaps, but never the land of the dead. It sounded insane.

_Sounded_, but it _felt_ right. Something told him that he could trust Tsuzuki. They could resolve things together. _Surely _that other reality _had _to be better than this one, even if he was already dead.

Dead couldn't be so bad. Tsuzuki was dead after all.

Wringing his hands, he took a deep breath. It would be fine. They wouldn't be caught. _If_ they were, then he wouldn't return home--not after running away. His father had abandoned his family, so he would leave _him_. Even if it didn't work with Tsuzuki, he wouldn't come back to the estate. Even if the curse passed on to him in the end…

But if there _was_ some sort of spell, then they _had_ to break it. Hisoka took a long look around his room. It didn't appear fake. How much of this reality was the spell's doing? Would his mother be alive in that other place? Would he have died instead of her? What about his father?

At this point, he had nothing to lose.

He'd already changed into a pair of jeans and an orange T-shirt. His father always hated the color, so most of this street clothes had orange in some fashion or another. It was natural teenage rebellion.

A flicker of emotions made Hisoka spin around. Walking through his bedroom wall was Tsuzuki. His image was blurry again, but it solidified once he was fully inside the room. This time Hisoka asked, "is that what you meant about a spirit form?"

Tsuzuki chuckled. "Yeah. Usually humans can't see us unless they are close to death or have higher spiritual awareness." Hisoka saw Tsuzuki's gaze sweep over him. "I've never seen you in something so casual before," he said offhandedly.

Hisoka shrugged. Picking up a small backpack, he squared his shoulders. "Are we going?"

"You're sure about this? This is your last chance to change your mind. I wouldn't blame you--"

"I already said I'd go." He gave the older man an annoyed glare.

"Alright. Come on then." Tsuzuki held out his hand. Still worn out from the last time they'd touched, Hisoka didn't take it. Tsuzuki smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry. I'll shield this time. We can only get there if we teleport."

Holding his bag tighter, Hisoka took his hand. Giving a muffled sound of surprise when Tsuzuki pulled him flush against his chest, Hisoka couldn't protest any further, because the oddest sensation of weightlessness consumed him. He was sucked through what felt like a tight funnel, and then suddenly, gravity was back into place.

The only thing that kept Hisoka from tumbling over at the abrupt presence of the ground under his feet, was Tsuzuki's firm grip. Once he regained his equilibrium, he was released.

Hisoka had seen antique shops before, with their old stained tables, tattered hardbacks, and ancient knickknacks. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought he was in one now. The room they'd just arrived in wasn't very large, but it contained a multitude of _things_. An overly stuffed, navy couch, was centered between two book shelves. Leather bound books that looked like they were published in the early 1900's, were stacked in disarray. One of the shelves held an old record player, apparently still in use, because there wasn't a single spec of dust on it.

Across from the couch was a small television, the kind that still had antenna, and he doubted it could even show color. The walls were covered in framed photos and other odds and ends like the pages of a scrapbook. Although slightly cluttered, the room gave a homey feel, and was rich in color and warmth.

Tsuzuki stepped away, and entered an adjacent room. Unsure of what he was supposed to be doing, and not wanting to be left alone in the unfamiliar surroundings, Hisoka hovered at the doorframe. This was clearly a bedroom, he observed. A traditional futon was situated in the center, with a simple dresser to it's right. Any other available space was taken up with stuffed animals and run-away clothing.

Unable to hold back a snicker, Hisoka's lips twitched. "Is this your apartment?" Curiously, he picked up a large stuffed cat. Its fur was matted with age, and one of its eyes was missing.

Tsuzuki's cheeks gained the lightest pink hue. "Yeah. I couldn't pack any of my stuff or Watari would notice, so I thought I could pick up some things before we go to the ministry." He opened the drawers on his dresser and began to put some clothes together. Most of the outfits were black, and there were duplicates of his usual suit.

Hisoka liked Tsuzuki's apartment. First of all, not a single room of the estate would ever be allowed to get this messy, but that also meant that every inch was cold and impersonal. Tsuzuki's place was comforting and full of things that reflected the older man's character. He wasn't sure how he'd pictured Shinigami, but he was being surprised every time he got closer to Tsuzuki. They ate like everyone else--slept, bathed, and even had homes. _And stuffed animals_, Hisoka thought with amusement.

Zipping up a compact duffle bag, Tsuzuki swung it over his shoulder. "That should be it. We better hurry."

"Right," Hisoka replied in mounting nerves. Dropping the plushie in his hands, he braced himself with a blush, and let Tsuzuki's arms slide around him.

No matter how many times he'd ended up in the position, caused by one reason or another, he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. His family had never been big on physical affection, and touch came awkward to him.

When Hisoka opened his eyes this time, he couldn't help but gasp. Surrounding him was an endless sea of sakura trees. They flanked a path and stopped at a large set of steps in front of a judicial looking building. It all felt strangely familiar, but he wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. He'd had a private tutor most of his life, and he knew his history and important landmarks. "Is that the Parliament building?" he asked skeptically.

"No, that is the Ministry building. Meifu is a reflection of the living world, so most of the buildings look the same." Tsuzuki didn't pause to give his answer, instead dragging him along up the staircase as he spoke.

"How are we going to get in? It's the middle of the night."

Opening the looming front door, Tsuzuki answered, "they never lock the main building. There is always someone here. Cleaning staff, some other night workers, and the Gushoshin." In a quieter tone he added, "we actually need to get close to the back of the library, so we'll have to be really quiet."

Before they could enter, Hisoka asked quickly, "Gushoshin?"

"The twin gods that tally the good and bad deeds of people. They keep files on everything. If we are looking for something, we'll be sure to find it there." Not giving him a chance to say anymore, Tsuzuki ushered him inside.

They walked silently through the dark hallways, fortunately not running into anyone. Hisoka's pulse was somewhere in his stomach, and his eyes kept darting to shadows, expecting someone to suddenly spring out at them. They continued for a while before arriving at a door which clearly stated that you needed some kind of authorization to enter. Tsuzuki pushed them inside. Submersed in total darkness, Hisoka was about to panic, when Tsuzuki flipped on a switch.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"And this is only one of them."

Hisoka had never seen so many file cabinets and file boxes in his life. Rows and rows of shelves and drawers taunted him. They extended into the darkness of the room, where the few lights that had flickered on couldn't reach. On the closest table was a computer.

"Luckily," Tsuzuki added, "a lot of the files are computerized now."

Suppressing a yawn and feeling like he'd been awake for days, Hisoka settled into a chair, and allowed Tsuzuki to seat himself in front of the computer. While waiting for it to boot-up, he asked with concern, "do we even know what we are looking for? What if we can't find anything before morning?"

"Then we'll go to Momochi." That really was the only lead they had. A city. It wasn't encouraging. Opening a search engine, Tsuzuki blinked in time with the cursor. "I suppose spells would be too broad a category."

Hisoka gave a sullen glare. "That won't get us anywhere." He tried to think over what they'd found in the hotel room. "The souls went missing from different locations, and they had nothing in common--not anything I indicated anyway." Notes written in _his_ handwriting, with _his_ voice, had stated the facts dryly. There were no similarities between victims, and the number had been increasing without regard to any outside factors. "You know…" The deaths had led up to as certain date. All their notes ended the day of that dream--the night before the full moon. "There could be a reason why that's the night we are able to see."

"You think that was the last day before the spell was cast?"

"The last date on my notes was a month ago to the day." Hisoka kept track of the lunar cycle because he knew the curse like other oddities around the Kurosaki estate, grew stronger around the full moon. That was the prime time for magic.

"You're right."

"You do know what this coming night is?" Hisoka questioned. Tsuzuki stared back vacantly, apparently not grasping his line of thought. "This night is the night before the full moon, so that means the night after the last of my notes _was_ the full moon, _coincidentally_ the same as this coming eve." It took a while for Tsuzuki to sort through what he'd said.

"Powerful spells work best if cast on the full moon." He finally caught on. "The souls could work as a catalyst."

Hisoka felt like they were working through smoke and mirrors. They were relying on evidence they'd only seen in some sort of dream, which they weren't sure to be real. This was blind faith, something Hisoka was never adept at having. "That still doesn't narrow it down. We have no place to start."

Tsuzuki rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "If we at least knew what _type_ of spell, what it was supposed to _accomplish_, or even the _place_ it was cast, then we'd be better off."

Hisoka froze. "What if we do know?"

"But we don't"

"_Now_ we don't, but we had to have figured it out if we're in this situation. Maybe we just have to remember it like the other dreams." Hisoka gave him a penetrating stare. "The information _has_ to be there."

"But we haven't dreamt about it, so how are we going to remember?" Tsuzuki always bit at the corner of his mouth, eyebrows drawn down, when he was trying to think through something.

"You didn't dream of any of the _paperwork._ My empathy worked when we were trying to remember _together_, supplying information we hadn't seen before when alone."

Tsuzuki immediately shook his head. "That exhausted you! You are injured, and you've already overused your empathy twice tonight. We don't know what might happen if you try again. I don't want to risk it." Hisoka didn't know if Tsuzuki had let down some of his shields, but he could feel the concern and worry crossing the small gap between them.

He knew it would take much more energy than he felt he had at the moment, but they needed something more concrete to go on! Even if his head would ache like it was being split open by crowbar, or if he passed out like some idiot, they would at least have the information they were seeking. What other option was there? Search blindly and hope they found something before sun break? This was a one shot deal.

"Everything else is at risk if we don't get more information. I'll be fine. I can tolerate a little headache." He tried to sound convincing, but internally he was wincing at the memory of that 'little headache.' His head was just beginning to feel back to normal.

"If you get hurt…" Hisoka shifted uncomfortably at the spike of fragile emotions. "I can't ask you to do that Hisoka. I don't _want_ you to have to do that."

"Tsuzuki," Hisoka said gently. Not sure what to do, but wanting to assure the other, he tentatively rested his hand over Tsuzuki's. "Trust me?" They locked eyes, and he had to work hard not to look away. "We can do this--fix things."

Searching him, Tsuzuki must have found some sort of reassurance, because he gave a small smile. "Alright. We can try. What…do you want me to do?"

"I think if we just focus on trying to recall that night, then maybe my empathy will be able to pick up on something." Afraid of the shinigami's reaction, he added on quickly as if to pass it of as a trivial matter, "if I do pass out, then carry on the rest of the research without me."

"You said you'd be fine!" Tsuzuki responded in a panic.

"I _will _be, but I might be a bit tired. _If_ I do pass out, then use whatever we pick up on to search on the computer. If I don't wake-up by the time you're done, then _make_ me wake-up." Hisoka sounded more confident than he felt. Tsuzuki's reluctance readied him for more of a fight, but it didn't come.

"Ok…" Turning his hand over under Hisoka's light fingertips, he twined their fingers together. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Just close your eyes and try to remember anything." Nervously, he served as an example.

Taking a deep breath, he could immediately feel the drop in Tsuzuki's shields. It was like a curtain being pulled aside, allowing the sun to sear his eyes. Tightening his grip, he swallowed convulsively. It hurt. He knew it was going to, but it still made his palms begin to sweat, and his eyes pinch in pain.

Emotions swelled beneath his eyelids in blurs of colors--pale blues and bright greens. They weren't discernable from one another, and he felt like he was slowly disconnecting from his body, lost in a sea of tie-dye.

"The case. Think." Hisoka spoke through his clenched jaw, trying to wade through the joined chasm of their minds.

The pain was so sharp that he bit into his lip, trying not to scream. Tsuzuki flinched back--he could feel the tug on their joined hands--but Hisoka held firm. He tasted blood in his mouth, but more prominently, the bitterness of the razor slicing through his consciousness.

The images were blurry, shifting in and out of focus. He was only a detached viewer. Them in the hotel room bickering. Sincere looks. Heavy sighs. Then--the hospital. A sterile room. A man…dying breath heaving closer and closer and--gone.

_A wave of nausea swept from under his ribcage, and from faraway he was aware of his body slumping forward. Cool hands caught and held him safe._

The soul…they were following…the…

_Oh god it hurt! He wondered if he might be crying, or even screaming, but the faint buzz he was hearing couldn't be associated with anything definite._

The soul…

The soul it…

A hot night, where the moon had lost its light…

_Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki…it burned._

The hill led there. Yes, the hill…and if they just went up…

_He couldn't let go of Tsuzuki's hand. He couldn't. No matter how it stabbed and tore, he couldn't stop. Not now. He held on frantically against the fingers trying to pry him loose._

And at the top of the hill…

The top…

Where the soul…

The soul_s_…

It burned with anger…anger…anger…_anger_…

_Stop! He c-couldn't! Couldn't…_

At the top of the hill…

"A woman."

So angry. Tortured soul…

And she was…was…IT WAS HER and IT WAS THAT.

The spell…The spell…

_He was going to die. His skull would crack wide, and his mind would spill out in millions of rancid colors. Surely his spine was on fire now with that disgusting popping in his ears. He was dying. This much pain could only come from death…_

There was Tsuzuki, and there was that thing…

"_Make your request."_

_No._

"_Make your request." _

_No he…_

"…_Accepted."_

_No he…It was his fault!_

Tsuzuki…Tsuzuki…come back…

"…_Tsuzuki…"_

qpqpqpqpqp

His lips were moving, and he was pretty sure he was spitting out every obscenity he'd ever learned in his life. He didn't open his eyes. He didn't move otherwise. Hell, he could hardly breathe. The pulsing hot pain between his eyes, behind his temples, and at the back of his skull, was all enough for him to feign death.

He could hear the faint clicking of what he assumed where keyboard keys. That or it was his brain cells committing suicide.

He was surprised at how warm and comfortable he felt despite his previous decapitation. His head was resting on something soft, and whatever it was, it smelled good.

"Tsuzuki?" he mumbled in a disoriented fashion.

The clicking paused in its rhythm, and he felt cool fingers brushing his hair back from his eyes--a small shift. It was strange that he could feel such slight motions as an entire sway under and around him.

"Hisoka?" It was whispered softly near his ear. A hand moved in soothing circles over his back, and he became slowly aware of the fact that he was _sitting_, rather than laying down. "Are you awake?"

"Mmnn." Grinding his teeth, he tried to gather enough energy to open his eyes. It was almost as if his lashes were glued together.

At last he squinted, the action doing very little to reveal the situation. He couldn't move his head, but sensation was gradually returning to his body. He was sitting sideways, in a lap, head lulled onto a shoulder. Tsuzuki's lap. Tsuzuki's shoulder.

If it wasn't for the fact that he couldn't move, he would have jumped clear from the comfortable position out of the shear realization alone. But he couldn't move, couldn't even shout his indignation, and it _was_ comfortable.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked again, into his hair.

"Tsu…zuki? Mnn. What…happened?"

The chest against his side rose and fell, and an arm supported his back. "You did it Hisoka. Just rest."

The idea was so very tempting. His head still hurt and he was more tired than he ever remembered being. But-- "Put me down," he protested weakly.

"No. The floor is too cold."

Hisoka sighed into the fabric of Tsuzuki's shirt, accidentally sniffing the scent of sugar and fire again. "How long…was I out?" It felt like an eternity and yet not long enough. He could have slept forever he was so tired.

"People will be coming into work soon. It's almost morning." The hand stroking his hair was working wonders on his headache. If he had been awake enough to protect his pride, he might have put a stop to it.

"I should…" He struggled to lift his head up, finding that he was woozy. The room spun, but he managed to sit up all the way eventually.

"Are you alright? How are you feeling?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly. Thankfully, his emotions were dulled and less painful.

"Like I got ran over," he replied in a dry voice. His throat felt raw, and still tasted of iron. Swallowing, he wished he had a glass of water.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault remember? I wanted to do it. Did it help…?" Another exertion of inexistent energy, and he stumbled to his feet, still seeking support from the computer desk.

"Yeah. I printed everything off. We should go. Are you up to moving?" Standing from the chair--he was sure Tsuzuki's legs must have been asleep by now--the brunet picked up the stack of papers in front of the printer beneath the desk. Sticking them in a folder, he offered an arm for Hisoka's support.

Before he could accept the help, footsteps could be heard approaching in the hallway. Freezing, he felt the acute jump in Tsuzuki's fear and anxiety. Recognition too, because the older man _knew_ the sound of that walk--

"Tatsumi," he whispered in horror. "Hurry!" Grabbing him by the arm, he steered Hisoka behind one of the nearest filing cabinets. Hastily he whispered, "watch the shadows. He can control them."

Not sure what that meant, and his heart pounding somewhere in his throat, he held his breath. Tsuzuki made it as far as closing the search window before the door opened. Barely daring to take a peek at the situation, Hisoka got one glance at the man named Tatsumi. He was tall with broader shoulders than Tsuzuki. He had a stern face, and wore glasses over what Hisoka thought were blue eyes. If he were to make any guess, he'd say that Tatsumi _was _authority.

"Tsuzuki-san." He didn't sound as surprised as he should be if Tsuzuki was supposed to be on a case. Hisoka tried to slow his breathing.

"Tatsumi!" The same cheerful voice Tsuzuki used most of the time rang in his aching head. "Good morning!"

Hisoka wanted to bang his head on the cabinet. There was no way the man would buy that. Good morning? Tsuzuki wasn't even supposed to be there! Distinctly afraid, Hisoka hoped they had a back up plan to get out of this.

"Good morning." A pause. The silence stretched, and he could taste the nervous flutter of Tsuzuki being scrutinized. "May I ask what you are doing here?"

"Doing?" More jumping nerves swept from Tsuzuki's stomach straight to his own. "Ah…just some research for my case."

"Really?" He knew. The tone made it so obvious that he was waiting for Tsuzuki to confess what he already knew. "Watari didn't mention that when he called this morning."

Caged in. Agitation growing. "Watari called?"

"Yes, and he seemed quite worried." Tatsumi took a couple of steps into the room, his dress shoes tapping on the floor.

A shiver traveled up Hisoka's back, a cold mist settling over the room with the man's entrance.

"There is nothing to be worried about…" Tsuzuki said, but his act was breaking.

"He said you'd gone missing." One more step. "He also said that a boy was missing." The temperature dropped dramatically. "If you are here, then…"

There was something about the _urgency_, the--_Hisoka watch out!_

He saw it in a flash, forewarned by only a second, the shadow from under the cabinet _reaching_ around his ankle. He gave a strangled yelp of surprise, scrambling back from his hiding spot. He almost tripped over his own feet in an undignified manner, both horrified and fascinated with how the shadows twisted restlessly.

"Tsuzuki?!" Unsure of what else to do--how to avoid something that was everywhere--he backed up until he was bumping into Tsuzuki's side. This however, also brought him much closer to the controller of the shadows. Tatsumi made no move, but the shadows didn't still either.

"Tsuzuki-san, what are you doing?" Tsuzuki held his blue-eyed gaze with surprising familiarity. "Why would you bring a mortal into Meifu without permission?"

A flash of regret. Tsuzuki shook his head. "I'm sorry Tatsumi." Before Hisoka could ready himself, Tsuzuki was grabbing him around the waist and the room was spinning away. It was messier than before, both the travel and the final arrival. He supposed that was why Tsuzuki didn't teleport directly somewhere unless he knew the destination well. What would happen if they were off and ended up appearing in the middle of a wall or something?

Luckily, they staggered into being in the middle of a vacant parking lot. Regaining their footing, they looked around their new location. Hisoka was more than nauseous now and wondered if he might throw-up whatever was in his stomach. He couldn't remember eating much that day--yesterday.

"So much for our stuff," he grumbled.

"Don't worry about it. We'll only be staying a day anyway. Tonight is the full moon. We have to break the spell by then." Tsuzuki studied him carefully. "You look pale, like you're about to faint. Do you feel alright? You _have_ been through a lot."

Hisoka shrugged. "I'll be fine. What do you mean we have to break the spell tonight?"

"Come on. Let's check into a hotel, and then we can go over what I found." Digging into his pocket, Tsuzuki pulled out what looked like a credit card. "And maybe some food? I could use some pie…"

He was hungry, but wasn't sure his stomach was in the mood to cooperate with food. "Where are we?" Hisoka asked as they walked onto a busy sidewalk.

"Momochi. We have to start here if we want to get to where the spell was cast. I figured it would be a good place to rest up. We haven't slept yet, so we could get some sleep before nightfall."

Sleep? That sounded like heaven right now. Dragging his feet along, Hisoka made sure to keep up. He didn't want to show how weak he felt, but he was close to passing out. They continued down the street for about a block before stopping at a rather small and cheap looking motel. Tsuzuki checked them into a room at the front desk. Meanwhile, Hisoka kept giving the lobby chairs hopeful furtive glances, just wanting to curl up _anywhere_ and take a nap. Taking notice, Tsuzuki hurried them upstairs to their room.

Hisoka stopped at the threshold. "This is…"

"I booked us the same room. I thought it might help bring back some memories." Tsuzuki stepped past him and dumped the folder of information on the table by the window--the same table he'd seen not too long ago, in Tsuzuki's memory. It was the most extreme case of déjà vu Hisoka had ever experienced.

He'd still held a hint of doubt in the back of his mind on whether the dream was real or not, but this hotel room was certainly real. It was exactly how he'd seen it. Eyeing the beds, he wasn't sure if he should tempt himself by lying down until he'd finished talking with Tsuzuki. Otherwise, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself awake. One night of bad sleep, one night without sleep, and now he'd used up the last of his reserves on psychic excursions. He was ready to drop.

Swaying on his feet, he made it over to the table, and asked bluntly, "what did you find."

Tsuzuki leaned against the wall. "I saw most of what you did, so I'm pretty sure I can get us to the ruins." Opening the folder, he spread some printouts before him. "Based on the spell, I think it might be this demon. It was the only one in the area that worked with ritualistic sacrifices and 'wishes.' According to the file, he can only be summoned about once ever couple hundred years, on the full moon."

"Then what do we do? Don't we need to summon him to reverse the spell?"

"They didn't give any information in that regard. However, I did find some general information on spells with the same base properties. Usually, there is a window of opportunity in which the spell can be reneged. It is supposed to be one cycle of whatever time frame is being used. If the spell is done according to a special hour, then you would have a twenty-four hour period of time. Since ours was according to the full moon, be have to break the spell before the end of tonight. Otherwise, we'd have to wait another two-hundred years to try again." Tsuzuki waited to make sure Hisoka understood.

He noticed the gap in information right away. "And how exactly are we supposed to break the spell tonight?"

A dejected sigh. "I don't know."

"Great." Hisoka failed at stifling a yawn.

"The spell was cast specifically on you. Returning to the location should help, but if you are worn out we won't get anywhere." Casting him an affectionate smile, Tsuzuki gestured towards one of the queen sized beds. "Go to sleep. You need to get some rest." Checking his wristwatch he added, "I'll get us some food. We have a full day to sleep and plan. That should give us enough time to get ready for tonight."

Hisoka didn't need telling twice. Floating more than walking, he toppled over on top of the covers, not even bothering to remove his shoes. His head had just touched the pillow before his consciousness snapped, leaving him to a heavy, dreamless sleep.

qpqpqpqp

He didn't realize he was awake at first, and wondered if this was just some odd dream. He could still feel the weight of his tired body, and the mattress beneath him. His feet were less heavy and he knew his shoes had been removed, even if he couldn't remember how. The blanket pressed over his shoulders was new but welcomed.

No, he was perfectly at peace. His exhaustion was like a warm clamp over his muscles. It had nothing to do with his body, the reason he was now becoming more aware of the room around him. It was this niggling sensation--

Protective bliss was melting over his skin with a hint of wonder and longing. If it weren't for those outside emotions, the blare of a gaze on his face, unblinking and intense, he wouldn't have been awake at all. Senses dulled with sleep, it was hard for him to judge proximity, but the warm humid breath ghosting over his cheek gave an indication. Curious, but in too much of a stupor to be alarmed, he focused his energy on opening his eyes.

He blinked at the same time fingers curled into the tips of his hair.

Tsuzuki was kneeling on the ground, body relaxed against the bed. His cheek rested on the mattress, eyes half-closed and cloudy. An arm was hooked over the coverlet, hand by Hisoka's cheek. Their faces coincidentally weren't very far apart, Hisoka lying on his side, near the edge.

It took a full minute of looking at each other before recognition began to clear those amethyst eyes. Hisoka shifted backwards more into the middle of the bed, and asked in a muffled moan, "what are you doing sleeping there?"

Tsuzuki took back his arm, and pulled up from the bed, wincing at the protest of his muscles at being in such a position for too long. "I didn't want to be too faraway…"

"There is another bed in this _very_ room. Sleep there." His tone was grumpy, but he was more annoyed, than angry at being woken up by Tsuzuki's confusing emotions.

"Too far…I don't want you to go away." Tsuzuki's eyes were wide and vulnerable, the words sounding desperate and needy.

"You can't sleep on the floor," he huffed firmly. What was this stupid idiot thinking? If they were in the same room, then there wasn't any other way to be _closer_. Surely the other bed was close enough to ensure his safety should anything happen. Tsuzuki didn't need to sleep by _his_ bed.

"It's ok. I'll feel better if I can be close." Tsuzuki gave him a small smile, barely a quirk of the lips, and it was much more affecting than any of the grander ones he'd ever given. Settling his cheek back against the bed, he watched him without reserve.

"Tsuzuki…" His face heated in an unavoidable blush. The man was being difficult. Why did he have to be so damn honest with things like this, but was closed as a clam with other matters. "Get off the floor. I don't want to hear you complaining later."

"Can I come up…?" Tsuzuki asked cautiously.

"What--I…" All his blood officially resided in his face.

"It's ok. _This_ is ok," Tsuzuki said rapidly at his reaction. To prove the point, he resumed his previous positioning against Hisoka's bed.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Hisoka warred with himself for a minute. _A long minute._ The bed _was_ a queen, easily big enough to fit himself (who was always rather skinny) and have plenty of room left over. They wouldn't even have to _touch_. In fact, he'd probably be asleep so fast that it wouldn't even bother him. He definitely wasn't going to get any sleep with Tsuzuki laying like that, _watching_ him.

"No, it's not ok. I can't sleep with you there." Tsuzuki had enough sense to look ashamed, but Hisoka charged on, very self-conscious of what he was saying. "Y-you need your sleep too." Moving jerkily, he didn't stop until he felt the opposite edge of the mattress pressing into his side. Directing his eyes anywhere but at Tsuzuki, he flipped back the covers.

There was an inept silence where Tsuzuki couldn't believe his good fortune, before--"Thank you 'Soka!" Quickly as if afraid he'd change his mind, Tsuzuki clamored into the bed. The happy gooey emotions rolling off him were enough to make Hisoka doubt the sanity of his decision.

"Just go to sleep," he chided.

Regretting his generosity, Hisoka was annoyed when Tsuzuki fell asleep well before he did. He couldn't get comfortable now. He was fully awake and aware of ever bit of awkwardness around him. He was teetering on the very side of the mattress, hard and uncomfortable. His back was cold because of the gap between the blankets and the bed. He had to rest his head on a new pillow now and it wasn't warmed up yet. Hands which fluttered nervously at the prospect of accidentally landing anywhere near his bedmate, were pinned tightly to his chest. His back was straight as a board, but it quivered when he began to shiver. This was not going to get him any closer to the sleep he longed for. Tsuzuki might feel better now, but _he _couldn't sleep this way.

Grumbling in his throat, he pushed an inch or two closer to the center of the bed. A little warmer, and the mattress a little softer, he was just a _little_ more comfortable. Noticing that he still had a good two-foot space worth of leeway left, he risked a few more inches.

That was it. Forcing his body to loosen up, he accepted the heat radiating his way, and sighed into his pillow. Better, much better. He'd always hated the fact that he naturally got cold when sleeping and needed extra blankets, because now there weren't any and he had to rely on the body heat of the person sharing the bed.

Yawning, Hisoka finally gave in, and fell back asleep.

AN: I wrote almost this whole chapter after three days without sleep, and it really lent itself to letting me feel what it would be like to be in Hisoka's situation. (Of course it also made for some really weird sentences to edit later…)


	25. Chapter 24

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: So close to the ending…gah, it's almost in sight.

**Chapter 24**

When Tsuzuki opened his eyes, it was to see the infirmary walls around him instead of charred rubble. In that first blink he thought that death looked a lot like a medical bed and a window framing cherry blossoms. It sounded like Watari talking from faraway and then--Hisoka's calm voice.

Death, his _final _death, had been so close. But Hisoka had been there…with him. He'd never thought that anyone would care if he was gone, and would sacrifice themselves to stay by his side. Hisoka had been willing to die _with_ him. Tsuzuki still couldn't believe that what happened in that fire could be real. That he could live…just for him? Yes, he had almost had his second death, but now he could start his second--real--life.

Hisoka had given him purpose.

Tsuzuki could remember clearly his first years as a shinigami. He'd still longed for his end. He never could accept life--not his own--when it caused so much suffering for others. Purpose was absent, regret taking its place. All these years, and the most he'd accomplished was to hide his inner discord. If only to spare others, he could pretend to be alright. But it never did get better. Never.

And then…here was this person and he couldn't pretend any longer. Still he tried. He could shield at the very least, but somehow his new partner _always_ knew.

He hadn't liked Hisoka at first. His attitude rubbed him the wrong way and he was blunt with no tact at all. Worse, Tsuzuki was afraid. It was dangerous to be close to someone who could call him on all his lies. He was ashamed to think like that after he found out about Hisoka's past--just why he acted so cold. Then he was afraid, _not_ of getting too close, but to _lose _him. They were partners, and Hisoka had been taken because of him, hurt because of _him_.

There must have been a definitive moment where he changed his mind, but he couldn't really recall now when he first began to care for Hisoka.

It meant enough that he had stayed. Tsuzuki had been anxious the first few months of there partnership, always waiting for the moment when he would do or say the wrong thing. For all the times Hisoka complained about working with him and got angry, he never once threatened to leave. Slowly…slowly Tsuzuki began to allow the hope that he _wouldn't_ leave.

His partnership with Hisoka was the longest he'd ever had. Funny how they started out hating each other but now--even if Hisoka tried to pretend otherwise--_cared_. What had their fortune said? 'Zero compatibility?' They had started at the bottom, and all there was left to do, was climb. Hisoka had said that…and Tsuzuki had believed him…

No, he worried about Hisoka's wellbeing more than his own. _That was how it always was though._ Tsuzuki couldn't help but _care_ for people. He'd do anything to preserve their happiness, but he never thought anyone would genuinely _care_ back…never…

Kyoto brought to light much more than his troubled past. He'd been forced to face his inner demons, or the fact that he _was _a demon. Self revulsion was all he could feel in those final moments. He was tired of hiding how broken he really was. After that night so long ago, he had never truly healed, and finally he'd asked for it to end.

But he had been wrong. _He was needed. _His partner who always scowled and acted aloof, was braving death for _him_. He was crying for _him_ to stay. Clinging and begging _him_.

It had been a mistake. Even though they had survived together, there was now a silence between them. He couldn't take back the fact that he'd almost left everyone in his moment of self-doubt and hatred. If he had thought that they would care…He didn't know how to fix what he'd _already_ done. But he couldn't regret everything…because now he knew how Hisoka felt, and he wouldn't trade that for anything.

Then they were healing, spending their days and nights in Meifu's infirmary, talking very little. Tsuzuki wondered if they would ever be ok, or heal entirely, but for the first time in his life he had purpose. _He had hope_. Together, they could conquer anything.

Tsuzuki didn't read like Hisoka. His hobby was eating. During the long days in the infirmary they would do some of the paperwork that Tatsumi brought for them, and then would lapse into the leisurely activates of the evening. Tsuzuki knew that Hisoka had healed faster than himself, but for some reason the blond continued to stay. He wondered if it was because Watari had yet to discharge him, or if it was Hisoka's choice. He liked to think it was the latter.

It would have been awfully lonely without Hisoka. True, he was almost always silent, but his presence was enough. Tsuzuki would eat the food that his friends brought as get-well presents, and Hisoka would read.

There was a small armchair that was pulled under the window, and Hisoka would curl his legs underneath himself, before taking out his current book of interest. Tsuzuki had another hobby: Hisoka watching. He liked to observe the relaxed countenance of his partner as he lost track of the outside world. Hisoka was a deep reader, and often overlooked hours of time as he plowed through pages of text, not so much as glancing up.

Tsuzuki didn't know if anything had changed for Hisoka. He still acted distant and yelled at him for every little thing. Sometimes he thought that the words he remembered from Kyoto must have been a figment of his imagination._ Sometimes _he feared that everything would fall apart again. Then occasionally their eyes would meet, Hisoka would blush, and he knew they could make it. Of course things had changed between them, perhaps not outwardly, but it was there all the same.

Internally, Tsuzuki knew that the change in himself was profound. How much of this the others could see, he wasn't sure. With the way they fussed over him, and gave those worried side-ways glances, he didn't think they could at all. He wished he was able to properly express how this new hope affected him. He wasn't perfect, or healed by a long shot, but there was a ray of light now for him to follow.

He didn't need _their _pity or worry, because Hisoka _needed_ him, and he _needed_ right back. He didn't know when--he had a suspicion that it had happened well before Kyoto without his notice--but one thing was now absolutely clear: he was in love with Hisoka.

Sticking half a cookie into his mouth and watching how the setting sun sent glinting oranges over Hisoka's bangs, Tsuzuki concealed the intensity of his emotions. Sure Hisoka was beautiful with his delicate chin and wide expressive eyes, and sure Tsuzuki admired this fact, but he could never let Hisoka know this. Things had changed between them, but Tsuzuki wasn't sure in _which_ way. He couldn't ask for more than what Hisoka wanted to give, not after how selfish he'd been.

He had to be content to watch…and love…

If Hisoka felt the same, then he'd let him know wouldn't he?

But as days followed their release from the infirmary, then weeks, which turned into months, he wondered if he'd hoped for too much.

Hisoka still treated him the same, with that softened edge since Kyoto, but gave no indication of harboring _those_ kinds of feelings towards him. It was getting harder for Tsuzuki _not_ to show how he felt. With every case, every time Hisoka said a comforting word to him, every look, he was confronted by how much he _loved_ this person. It was so strong to the point that it _hurt_.

Tsuzuki didn't want to count how many times he'd spent his nights like this. If he did, he would have to face the fact that his hobby of Hisoka watching had turned into a full blown obsession. He was addicted, truly, and he couldn't sleep without this _peace_ first. Only he didn't sleep sometimes…Some nights he couldn't tear his eyes away, and would end up sneaking back to his own bed only moments before the alarm was due to go off, then pretending that he was just waking up himself.

It was too strong. His chest would pound, and his throat constrict, until he was sure he would start crying if he wasn't assured that Hisoka was still _right _therethat very moment.

Hisoka hated to be treated like a child, and often mistook any sign of affection as belittlement. It was understandable though, because Hisoka didn't have any experience with people _loving_ him and wanting to _protect_ him.

They all had their past scars.

Tsuzuki knew this, but it took all his self control not to hold Hisoka in his arms and refuse to ever let go. His partner wouldn't appreciate it, and Tsuzuki wouldn't _force_ Hisoka to accept anything he didn't want. His happiness was all that mattered.

…So if he could live off just _watching_ him…

Hisoka never had good body temperature regulation. He knew this from the times Hisoka had fainted in the heat, or the thick down coats he wore in the winter. At night it must have been worse, because Tsuzuki knew that he always used one of the extra hotel blankets with the allotted sheets and comforter. More obvious was the way he curled in on himself, burrowing into his self-created pocket of warmth, completely burying his body under twists of fabric.

At the extreme risk of being caught, Tsuzuki would gently peal back the blankets until his partner's face showed, and he would swallow a sigh of relief. His heart would slow in its palpitations, and a content smile would spread over his face. Tsuzuki could then admire what he'd come to love so much.

But…it wasn't enough.

Watching _wasn't_ enough.

Guilt and longing plagued him relentlessly as he stared at Hisoka's sleeping form. He loved him so dearly, but there was nothing that ever hinted that Hisoka returned even part of his emotions. It was like standing on the edge of a cliff, rejection just a step away _all_ the time. What if something were to happen tomorrow? He couldn't stand the thought that Hisoka would _never_ know…that _someone_ had cared for him.

This case was the first big one they'd had since Kyoto, and it was proving just how incapable he was at controlling his life. It was a major hurdle in proving he could survive, if only for Hisoka's sake, and fate threatened him with failure.

If he…could at least wait until after they completed the case, then perhaps he could prove to Hisoka that he was worthy enough. If Tsuzuki could show that he was as strong--if not stronger--that before Kyoto, then maybe, just maybe, Hisoka would accept his feelings.

They had decided to attempt to track a spirit tomorrow, so maybe it would be over soon. Then he would gather his courage and…

…tell him…

There was silence, and Tsuzuki couldn't tell if it was in the room or all in his head for a moment, as his sleep tapered off.

Tsuzuki opened his eyes slowly, still feeling groggy and disoriented. His head was hot and muddled, half thoughts and the ghosts of memories shifting listlessly. Had he been remembering? In his dream, everything had made sense and had its place. Now awake, it was all vague, like a stream of thought he'd only had as his _other_ self. He didn't remember spending those long days in the infirmary or the weeks that came after. There were gaps, and thoughts that sprung from references that just weren't there.

While asleep it had been whole, but now the setting was out of place. But he knew it had all ended in his usual dream, standing at his partner's bedside, only now watching the _face_ of his adored partner.

If he had been remembering, it wasn't for times or places, and not for a way to break the spell. He was remembering the most important thing about that other life, something that his heart had known all along even without memories. He loved Hisoka. No, he was _in _love with Hisoka.

Blinking sleep from his eyes, he looked out over the other half of the bed. For a second his body jolted in fear, seeing the other pillow completely empty, but then he forced himself to relax, afraid he would wake Hisoka up. If he would have noticed the lump under the blankets besides him, then he would have known Hisoka was right where he was supposed to be. That is…if Hisoka was supposed to he clinging to his midsection like that.

As was his habit, Tsuzuki had slept on his stomach, arms cradling his head against his pillow. Hisoka, in perhaps a quest to seek more heat, was now balled up by his side, knees pressed against Tsuzuki's outer thigh. A slim arm was draped surprisingly tight over his lower back, ending in a fist around his shirt. Even without seeing, he could feel Hisoka's cheek resting on his back, small puffs of air warming the spot.

Tsuzuki wondered how Hisoka was able breathed under all the blankets like that. Careful not to move too much, Tsuzuki turned his head enough to read the time on his wrist watch. They had slept nearly twelve hours, and it was rounding past six now.

They should get up, eat, and try to assemble some sort of plan--all things they couldn't do with Hisoka using his back as a pillow. Smiling fondly, Tsuzuki felt happiness bloom in his chest. It was cute really, but Hisoka wouldn't be very pleased when he woke up in the position. Tsuzuki didn't need him mad for the rest of the night.

Not if he was going to confess the truth.

He'd made the mistake of waiting once and he wouldn't do it again. Their case hadn't ended, but instead they'd been caught in this spell. Now they had to try and break it. What if there was no later? They couldn't know if they would succeed or not. The case might never come to an end.

Tonight could be his last chance.

Hisoka shifted sleepily, inadvertently nuzzling into his back. Tsuzuki twitched, again trying to stay still.

He couldn't expect any sort of reply from Hisoka. It wasn't like that at all. He just had to make sure he knew. Once the words were said, then even if something went wrong, he wouldn't regret keeping the secret. From the selective moments he could remember now, he knew that he'd been unbearably scared to tell him, so it would be too hopeful to think Hisoka would return his feelings, even if they _did_ break the spell.

Just so Hisoka knew…That was all he wanted.

"Mm," Hisoka mumbled, moving again. Tsuzuki wondered if he was beginning to wake up. Deciding it was the best course of action, he closed his eyes, put his shields up higher, and pretended to still be asleep.

The hand in his shirt clenched and unclenched like a kitten kneading its mother, and then suddenly, the arm flung over his back tensed. The movement of Hisoka's chest against his side ceased, his breath no longer warming his spine.

It was surprisingly difficult not to change his breathing at all, even though he was severely paranoid that Hisoka would realize he was faking sleep, and get angry. Singing a tune in his head, he tried not to pay attention to how Hisoka gingerly retracted his limbs, the skin dragging over him with only his shirt's separation.

Hisoka lifted his cheek, gently rolling off of him, before unfurling himself. Tsuzuki could feel the blankets slide with the motion, and the depression of the pillow by his head as Hisoka emerged above them. Biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling, Tsuzuki could only imagine how red Hisoka's face must be by now.

Several minutes past by as Tsuzuki debated how long he should wait before pretending to wake up. The decision was made for him when he felt a cautious finger poke his shoulder.

"Tsuzuki," Hisoka hissed.

Tsuzuki twitched but didn't offer anymore. He knew he was usually harder to wake up than that, and didn't want to wake up too quickly. Sighing, he buried his face further into his folded arms so that Hisoka wouldn't be able to see the devious grin that had spread over his lips.

He could feel Hisoka sitting up as he pushed the blankets off his lap. "Tsuzuki," he said a little louder. The mattress dipped as the boy got out. Tsuzuki was ready to pull off a tired yawn, and open his eyes, when something heavy collided with his skull.

"OW!" he shouted, springing from the bed after the attack. The comforter wadded over his legs, and clothes in disarray, Tsuzuki rubbed at his head pitifully. "What did you do that for?"

Hisoka was standing by his side of the bed, the telephone receiver in his hand. "There weren't any books…," he uttered apathetically.

"You couldn't have just shaken me…gently…?"

"Idiot. Like _that_ would wake _you_ up." Hisoka turned away, and walked towards the bathroom.

"Meanie." Tsuzuki smiled anyway, enjoying the nostalgic feel of their interactions. Untangling from the bed, he stood up and stretched, his back popping in a few places. The table still held all of the information he'd found in Meifu, and he sat down there, pulling the papers towards himself.

When Hisoka returned from the bathroom, his appearance was cleaned up some, and he was sporting a frown. "Didn't you say something about getting some food before I went to sleep?"

"Ah…" Tsuzuki looked up sheepishly. "I was going to…but I didn't want to leave you behind…so…"

Hisoka folded his arms defensively. "I would have been fine." Dropping into a chair he huffed, "I'm hungry now."

Energetically, Tsuzuki bounced from his seat. "Then let's go get breakfast! We can take these with us!"

Hisoka corrected him. "It's dinner, not breakfast."

Tsuzuki nodded. "Food either way! I'm starving! Let's hurry!"

"Fine, but it has to be quiet enough for us to talk undisturbed. We still don't have a plan." Hisoka stood up and gave him a once over, glaring the whole time. "And I'm not being seen in public with you like that. At least fix your hair."

"Huh?" Tsuzuki asked innocently.

"You heard me. Go to the bathroom and look in a mirror for once." Hisoka was giving the floor a cold look like it had offended him somehow, but Tsuzuki still noticed the blush on the blond's cheeks. Was he embarrassed for how he'd been sleeping? Was that why he was acting so angry?

"Ok, 'Soka!" Entering the bathroom, he peered at his reflection. He did look worse for wear. His hair was sticking up oddly, and his shirt looked like it was made of crepe instead of cotton. Running his hands through the fly-away strands, he ended up having to use water before his hair decided to go the same direction at the very least. There was no help for his shirt, and he re-tucked it into his pants.

When he came out, Hisoka was looking through the file, his brow furrowed. "I don't see how this going to work…"

Tsuzuki ignored the pessimism, because he himself had no answer and was worried. "Come on. We can talk while we eat."

qpqpqpqpqp

"I'm not confident in this plan at all." Hisoka, despite saying he was hungry, was just picking at his food.

Tsuzuki had no such problems, and spoke through a mouth-full. "It will work."

"How can you be so sure?"

"That girl cast the spell to summon the demon. There wasn't a specific incantation for the wish itself, seeing as how you didn't do anything and the demon cast it on you instead. Even if the demon was strong, it's just raw power binding you to the spell."

They were sitting in a small diner down the street from their hotel, and although it was during the dinner rush, they'd managed to find a secluded corner in which to seat themselves. Around their plates of food (admittedly there was more than one in front of Tsuzuki), spread out, were the print-outs.

"You're under the spell too," Hisoka said, "or you wouldn't be able to remember with me, right?"

"Well…I don't know what the spell was for…so I don't know how it affected me." Tsuzuki frowned. "If you were my partner, you would have known Watari too, but he doesn't seem to remember anything like I do." Tsuzuki smiled internally. He knew there was a difference between Watari and himself. His feelings were too important to be tampered with by some spell. Magic could affect many things, but it couldn't touch one's soul. Through death and otherwise, a soul was unchangeable, like the Law of Conservation of Energy Watari was always babbling about.

"I still don't see how my empathy alone would be enough to break the magic behind the spell. That demon's 'raw power' is still stronger than anything I have." Hisoka shoved a bite of food between his lips and chewed at it gingerly as if it were a mouthful of glass.

"If you can concentrate on dissipating the energy at its source, your empathy being a good way of feeling it out, then you should be fine."

"But my empathy only works with _you_. I can't sense anything else." Angrily, Hisoka stabbed at a piece of chicken on his plate. "The most powerful spell I've ever cast is that weak protection charm on my mother's room. You saw how well _that _worked," he said bitterly.

Tsuzuki remorsefully reached for Hisoka's hand. "It isn't your fault Hisoka. You protected her from Kasane and the demon all those years. You can't help what a _human_ did."

Hisoka yanked back his hand. "Can we not talk about this?" he whispered harshly.

"Alright…" Taking a deep breath, he added, "I'm here though…if you…ever do want to talk about it."

"I'd rather figure out how we are going to break this spell." Green eyes met his for the first time since they'd woken up, and Tsuzuki understood that Hisoka wasn't completely blowing him off.

"Yeah…" He gave an assuring smile. "I can give my energy too. Together we should be able to overpower the spell."

"How would…you do that?"

"We are already tied through your empathy. Just like when you connect with me so we can remember, we should be able to synch our powers. That would fix our problem of being able to sense the spell as well. I have experience with that sort of thing." Tsuzuki cleared off the rest of his plate, and pulled a new one forward. This one had a slice of apple pie sitting on top of it.

"So we are going to go to the temple grounds, find where the spell was cast, combine our powers…and then we'll _wing _it?" His tone was dripping with skepticism.

"That's half of a shinigami's work. Trust me, it isn't as stupid as it sounds." Tsuzuki held out his fork to the youth. "Wanna bite? It's soooo good."

Hisoka shook his head, backing up in his seat. "I don't like sweets. Remember?"

"Come on! You've hardly had anything! You need to eat more." Tsuzuki pouted, hoping Hisoka would change his mind.

"Don't mother me! I'm _fine_."

He finished his pie, although he didn't stop sulking. "As soon as the sun sets, then we can start our attempts. We're are lucky we made it this far before the full moon, or who knows what would have happened."

"I'd probably be murdered under my father's nose," Hisoka answered unexpectedly.

"Ah…" Tsuzuki didn't know what to say to that.

"It is going to take a while isn't it? We might as well start out now." Hisoka pushed his plate away.

"Are you nervous?" Tsuzuki asked seriously. "You can still turn back if you want. I'm sure we could come up with some sort of excuse--"

"Will you shut up?" Hisoka spat testily. "Stop feeling so guilty! I want to break the spell just as much as you do. It's not like my life is going so great if you haven't noticed. If something goes wrong while we are trying--if it doesn't work--even if it does work! I don't care! I'd rather try and fail. I'll admit I am nervous…but it doesn't matter."

"Hisoka…"

"Let's just go." Hisoka stood up and looked him squarely in the eyes. Tsuzuki had never seen such conviction in anyone before. Hisoka was…very brave. He didn't hide his admiration, and smiled at a suddenly embarrassed Hisoka.

"Anything you say…_partner_."

"God you're so…cheesy," Hisoka said at his happy expression. Despite what he said, he was smiling back.

qpqpqpqp

Fukuoka Emergency Medical Centre was a large hospital, adjacent to the major university. Sneaking in was easy enough, because dinner was apparently a busy visiting hour. It must have been one of the last ones of the day.

Tsuzuki stopped at the nurses station on the first floor to make sure there was really a nurse Fuwa on staff. She was, but it wasn't her shift. Taking the stairs, they walked down the hall of the second floor, pausing at room 204. It was empty, the bed waiting for its next patient. After inspecting the area and finding nothing, Tsuzuki and Hisoka made a trip to the roof.

Tsuzuki wasn't used to investigating with someone who couldn't go into spirit form and become invisible. It was harder avoiding people with Hisoka there, but they managed to get to their destination without being caught.

Once on the roof, Tsuzuki could see that the sun was setting. Even in the summer, night couldn't hold off forever. This many floors off the ground, the air was colder, and he could see Hisoka was holding himself in an attempt to keep warm.

"So, are you ready for what we have to do next?" Tsuzuki asked almost teasingly.

Hisoka stepped to the edge of the roof, peeking down towards the ground. Eyes widening, he answered honestly, "I'm lucky that I've never been afraid of heights or I wouldn't be able to say yes."

"I would just teleport there, but in the memory we flew, and I don't want to get lost." Tsuzuki stepped up besides Hisoka, and looked over the ledge as well. He'd gotten so used to flying that heights like this didn't even affect him anymore.

"Right." Hisoka turned and looked at him. "How is this going to work…?" he asked, cheeks reddening predictably.

"I can't just hug you like when we teleport. You'd fall. Bridal style?" Tsuzuki didn't need the indignant scowl Hisoka gave him to know the teen wouldn't like the idea. "That or I could carry you like a sack of potatoes…"

"Fine." Hisoka threw an arm unceremoniously around Tsuzuki's neck, making it clear he'd decided how he'd be traveling. Noticing how light Hisoka was, Tsuzuki hoisted him up under the knees, his other hand wrapping around his back. "You'd better not drop me," Hisoka growled against his shoulder.

Not giving room for second thoughts, Tsuzuki took off into the now starlit sky. Hisoka's grip instantly tightened on around his neck, both arms holding on, and Hisoka turned his face down into his shirt. "Don't worry…I won't," Tsuzuki soothed him belatedly.

Tsuzuki held onto his cargo carefully, secretly pleased to have an excuse to carry Hisoka like this. Memory whole or not, his emotions were clear. He still couldn't forget his decision from earlier. He knew he'd have to confess once they arrived, or his chance--perhaps his last--would slip by.

_I just have to say it_, he thought. Hopefully Hisoka wouldn't change his mind about the whole thing after that. Wait…he hadn't thought about that. Tsuzuki tightened his mental barriers, and tried to calm his swirling mind. It wasn't like he was asking for anything in return…Hisoka wouldn't get that upset would he?

"Turn more towards the south," a voice said by his ear. Hisoka's face was no longer planted into his shoulder, but was instead taking in the scenery, and now helping with the navigation. The moon was round and full like a ripe fruit, lighting the tops of the trees and giving definition to the dark landscape below them.

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki strengthened his grip, and then continued. "Shinigami can't die…or at least easily. If we do break the spell, you'd be my partner again. I know things like eternity might not be within comprehension for you, but would you stay…?"

Hisoka was unmoving in his arms, and no one said anything for a while. Tsuzuki knew that Hisoka wasn't going to answer after fifteen minutes of quiet, and berated himself for asking something so personal.

"There!" Hisoka finally shouted. "Up ahead. That's where the ruins are."

Tsuzuki wasn't sure how long they had been flying, but his arms were getting tired, so he was happy to have finally reached their destination. Flying high, to the very top of the hill, he touched down in the middle of the remains. Shrubbery had over grown the area, trees springing up through cracks in the foundation. The stone looked old, boulders weather-beaten and smooth. Here the forest was denser, leaning in like a protective ring around the aged platform, blocking out most of the moonlight.

"This is it…" Tsuzuki set Hisoka down and looked around slowly. Nothing felt peculiar. In fact, even in the dark, the clearing looked relatively harmless. Hisoka's eyes were wide, blinking faster than what was normal. "What's wrong Hisoka?"

"Nothing…just…" Hisoka blinked out towards the forest. "I can't see anything…I don't have very good night vision…"

"I don't want you to trip as we walk around." Unsure of himself, but willing to risk it, he reached out and took Hisoka's hand. "I have good night vision."

Hisoka grunted, but didn't take his hand back. "I'm not some kid you know. I can take care of myself."

"I know you aren't a kid…" Oh, Tsuzuki knew… He just had to gather enough courage to admit it. But Hisoka hadn't answered his question from before…so would he be angry for bringing up his feelings again?

"Good. Let's start."

"Wait!" Tsuzuki blurted. "W-wait…I want to talk to you first."

Hisoka's irritation was palpable. "Tsuzuki, if you are going to ask me if I'm sure again, I'll hit you! I know what I want ok?! We don't have time for this."

Tsuzuki swallowed, and wetted his lips nervously. "No…I need to tell you something else, before we do anything."

Hisoka must have picked up on some of Tsuzuki's emotions because his voice softened dramatically. "Tsuzuki…?" He tried to shyly take his hand back.

"It's just…I can't remember everything, not how it was before, but I've seen enough. I can feel it too…Even before I came to Kamakura, I felt it in those dreams…" Tsuzuki braced himself, and finished as quickly as he could. "I know I was going to tell you after we completed that case, but then this spell happened and I never got the chance. I don't need any sort of answer from you, but I have to tell you in case this is the last chance I ever get. I _love_ you Hisoka."

Hisoka's hand was tensed in his, the palm sweaty. Or was that his own? "Tsuzuki I--" He sounded so startled.

"You don't have to say anything. I mean, we can't even remember each other from more than a month ago, so you don't have to answer. I just…thought you should know." Guiltily, Tsuzuki let go of Hisoka's hand. Hastily he added, "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Hisoka asked in that same disbelieving tone. "I can't…I don't know how I felt before. You're right, I can't answer you." Tsuzuki's heart sunk into his stomach. It was as much as he'd expected, but for some reason it still hurt. "But…I saw what happened in that fire. I know what that meant. I don't know about my feelings but…"

"'Soka…?"

A hand twined into his again, squeezing gently. "If my place was in…" Hisoka trailed off without saying the word. "Then I'll be your partner for as long…as _you_ feel that way. If you should ever tire of me before…eternity, then…"

"Hisoka," was all Tsuzuki said as he enveloped Hisoka in his arms. He never thought he'd hear anything like that. Ever. No one had ever wanted to stay with him. Emotions circled in his head, and he tried to keep back tears. After all, they still had to break the spell before they could ever think of 'eternity.'

"Tsuzuki…are you ready?" Hisoka asked into his shirt collar.

"Yeah…" He dropped his shields.

A shiver raced up Tsuzuki's spine as he felt that invisible hand, yet again, invade his mind. His eyes lost focus for a second, stone rubble wavering in his vision. Hisoka's hands clenched against him, a sign of his efforts.

"Do you sense anything?"

"No…I'll try harder." His breathing sped up, gasping, and Tsuzuki was beginning to feel the echoes of pain in his own mind. "It…I can feel it in a way, but I don't know what to do," he confessed.

"I can lend you my power, but it will be intense." Tsuzuki rubbed Hisoka's back soothingly to ease the impact his empathy was having on him. "Are you ready for that?"

"Nn…just…just do it, or we won't be able to break…it." Tsuzuki could feel it too, like a fist squeezing around them. The magic tingled in the back of his mind and along his arms.

"Tsuzuki!" Tsuzuki's head snapped in the direction of the yell, eyes widening as Watari ran into the clearing. Close following, was Tatsumi. They both stopped at the edge of the foundation, eyes trained on him. "Tsuzuki! What are you doing?!"

"Watari…h-how did you find us?" Tsuzuki was in a state of shock. He hadn't expected them to catch up with Hisoka and himself at this point. He'd thought they were finally close to the end. Everything could be fixed. He only needed a little more time.

"You know me. I was able to trace what files you were digging into when you were in Meifu. A bit more research on my own and I knew just where to look." Watari eyed him and Hisoka, who was clinging to his front.

"Tsuzuki," Tatsumi said in his concerned tone. It was rare, but when he used it, Tsuzuki knew he was truly worried. "What are you doing? Why did you run away with that boy?"

"What's going on? What didn't you tell me?" Watari added.

"Watari…Tatsumi…" Tsuzuki was panicking inside. "You don't understand. I-I didn't know how to tell you. How would I explain…"

Hisoka groaned pitifully. "Tsuzuki…please…"

Tsuzuki wanted to explain though. These were his friends. They _had _to understand. "It's a spell. We have to break a spell so things will go back to how they are supposed to be."

"What--" Tatsumi cut Watari off.

"What has that boy been telling you?! You are confused. Everything is how it _is _supposed to be. There isn't any spell. Whatever he's told you, it's a lie. Come back with us to Meifu."

"No Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki struggled for the right words so they could understand the importance of what he was doing, but he was stopped. Hisoka was beginning to tremor in his arms, knees beginning to buckle. Only his grip keeping the blond upright, Tsuzuki whispered urgently, "Hisoka, hold on."

"Tsuzuki…I can't…We have to do it now."

Tsuzuki nodded. "Tatsumi, Watari, I'm sorry. I hope you'll understand." Focusing on the shivering form in his arms, he let his mind free from his grasps. All barriers gone, he felt the falling sensation of being sucked into mud, before things came back into clarity. It was through Hisoka's eyes.

When the other shinigami looked ready to move in on them, Tsuzuki cast a fuda barrier using Hisoka's fingers. The world was still hazy to him, like watching it through a window that was fogged with condensation. He could feel twice fold however.

The air was a buzzing static that swirled around them, and suddenly he could not only feel the oppressiveness of the spell, but see it as well. It was like a heavy veil webbed over Hisoka's very skin.

"_There," _Tsuzuki spoke through their minds. _"Push it away." _The command in place, Tsuzuki forced every last drop of energy he could muster into helping Hisoka demolish the binds of the spell.

It was as if a spike was being driven into his head, Hisoka's pain being his own, and he could taste the blood welling in _their_ mouth as _their_ tongue was bitten. _"Tsuzuki!!" _Hisoka was flailing wildly in their minds, the black cloak tearing and splintering before their eyes. _"AHHHHHHH!"_

Something like a sledge hammer rammed into his stomach, and suddenly Tsuzuki was solely in his own body, crumpled on the cold stone. Besides him, Hisoka looked like he was seizing. His body was jerking with such force that Tsuzuki was afraid his spine might break.

"Hisoka?!" His vision was producing black spots and he knew he'd pass out any second.

Hisoka was shrieking a dreadful sound, and Tsuzuki knew what was happening. A bright light was searing the edges of his reality, devouring the sky, the stones, and even them. They were helpless to stop it, and Tsuzuki surrendered willingly. He knew…

…Hisoka was remembering…

**AN: **I hope the scene in bed wasn't too cliché. I totally picture Hisoka as a heat-seeker in bed due to all the clues that he has crap body temperature regulation. I tried not to make them wake-up in too cutesy of a cuddling position, but instead a more practically cute one. Either way, I was dying to add SOME sort of fluff in here.

I also hope that the dream/remembering part at the beginning of the chapter wasn't too confusing. Feel free to ask any questions if anything needs more clarification.

Lastly, next chapter is it folks. I know, I can't believe that I finally got there. It will consist of chapter 25 and an additional chapter, which is actually the teaser/prologue/bridge chapter for the sequel.

Please read the authors note that comes at the end of the next post. It will contain all my heartfelt thanks and details about the upcoming sequel.


	26. Chapter 25

**The Sun Will Rise**

Author: Trans

Pairing: TsuzukixHisoka

Warning: This will be a lot of angst, conflicting love, shounen-ai. All the usual good stuff. This will also contain SPOILERS for the Gensoukai arc

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei

AN: Last chapter. Big sigh of relief… Info about the sequel will be after the prologue/teaser for the sequel.

**Chapter 25**

Hisoka knew it had worked. Tsuzuki's power burned through him, making reality snap, like fine wires being plucked. Every lost memory was relived in excruciating detail, one after another. Years of abuse--_notmychildamonstermonstermonsterHATE_--and that night under the red moon--_soprettymydollmineminemineMINE_--then finally death--_release_.

The overwhelming horror was only shadowed by pain. It seared through raw nerves, devouring Hisoka's body and then his very soul, marking it with old scars resurfacing. He wanted to scream and beg for it to end, but he couldn't control his body, rigid like a bow string and lanced through the middle with _too much _power.

He had thought…he had _thought_ that nothing could have been worse than his false life. It was but a farce with the spell restraining him. Anything would have been better--he thought naively--only to be proven wrong. _He had been so wrong_.

Nothing could have hurt more. _Memories hurt. _He didn't want to remember every detail of the life he had hated. He didn't _want_ it, only now, it was too late to turn back. Such a fool he was to think he could have been happy in _any_ life.

They barreled down on him, a light like a blinding sun stopping time for one brief second. He regretted, but had no choice but to surrender, because denial didn't change the _truth_.

He was hated. His parents hadn't loved him, not even once. Those days of being loathed, of continual failure, of the basement…not once did he feel love. His family had despised him for merely existing. The pain and self-disgust had been trained into him day after day. His life had been a struggle, and now he could remember every second of those sixteen years of hell.

He could remember Muraki, that demon in white, and his vile touch...His excruciatingly long death, where he endured more pain than he'd ever experienced in all his years combined, throbbed under his skin with its memory. Not only had Muraki taken and destroyed his body, but he had marked his soul. Terror came with every memory, and Hisoka knew why he would wish it all away.

Then, when he thought his past would incinerate him, and he wouldn't survive his first few breaths with the spell broken, the last two years as a shinigami began to return. _Tsuzuki_. It was a calming balm to those other gruesome memories. Somehow he managed to surface from all his tormented fears.

Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, _Tsuzuki…_he repeated in his head, trying to retain the reason why he _had_ to remember. Because Tsuzuki was his home, and he would do_ anything_-- _suffer_ through anything…

Tsuzuki.

That was right…_Tsuzuki_.

Hisoka clung onto those memories above all, and clawed his way back into consciousness.

He could hear himself gasping for air, his shoulder blades drawn sharp against stone. His neck was cold and clammy, a throb starting at its base and radiating out through the back of his skull. Crumpled, and half wondering if he hadn't been ripped limb for limb, Hisoka deemed it useless to move. His world was still spinning in a brilliant whirl of sounds and smells. Dirt and dust were fresh in his nostrils, and his stomach turned sickeningly.

A groan issued from his lips, heard as more than the sound of the rushing sea currently residing in his head. From faraway he could vaguely hear what sounded like someone shouting down a well. The noise was barely detectable, distorted in sundered echoes, that bounced like needles. Wincing, Hisoka tried to draw his hands over his ears defensively.

His muscles didn't respond well, twitching sluggishly, and his attempt only made the sound louder as his mind came into awareness.

"Bon?!"

He knew he recognized that voice…from somewhere. His breath stopped in his throat as he blinked his eyes open. The sudden light that assaulted his sight made him cringe, instantly regretting it. Trying again, he squinted at the sky above him.

The night was slipping away into brighter pinks and oranges--the sun had risen.

"Bon?!" A face was hovering over him then, blocking out the morning light, only a blur at first. "Bon? Are you alright?" Ah…only one person called him that. Hisoka tried to focus on the image of Watari watching him anxiously, but it was distorted with dark spots entering his vision. _Why_ was Watari here again…?

"Tsuzuki!!" His hazy vision instantly became clear when he heard someone shout the name from across the ruins. It was Tatsumi. Tatsumi and Watari were _here_…

Some sagacity returning to him, Hisoka took in Watari's lab attire, and hoped that that meant he'd made it back to his real life. The sun was rising into the sky…and they must have managed to break the spell. "Tsuzuki…" he gasped, his lungs feeling like they'd caved in on themselves. Rolling onto his side, straining against his protesting muscles, Hisoka shuffled, or more precisely _dragged, _himself towards where he saw Tatsumi squatting.

Pieces of gravel dug into his palms and knees as he crawled forward. Large boulders were piled across the cracked foundation, making the trip even more arduous. He wasn't sure how much energy he had to draw on, or how long he could keep his eyesight from being consumed by darkness, but he was determined to get to Tsuzuki first. Even if he was on the verge of passing out, he had to be assured of one thing.

"Tsuzuki!" he hissed, drawing close enough to see that Tsuzuki was lying unconscious. Dust and stray pebbles littered his wrinkled suit, making his face appear slightly grimy in the morning light. He was so deathly pale…

Watari was following his struggled pace closely, saying something that he couldn't quite translate in his disoriented state, but guessed it was something akin to a plea to stop moving around. Blood was dripping into his eyes, and the burn somewhere on is forehead convinced him that a piece of falling rubble must have hit him.

Tatsumi was kneeling besides Tsuzuki's limp body, but his eyes were trained on Hisoka, who knew he looked pitiful at the moment. He couldn't bring himself to care about the critical stare, or feel embarrassed about the panic that must have been painted clearly on his face. All that mattered was that he get to Tsuzuki before he passed out cold. Tsuzuki was more important than some semblance of pride. Right now he was frantic, and there was no hiding that.

"Tsuzuki! Damn it!" Fisting Tsuzuki's suit, he pulled himself half on top of the brunette, so that their faces were level. It was getting difficult to move even his own weight, and he knew his energy was dwindling away by the second.

"Kurosaki--" Tatsumi's hand touched his shoulder, but Hisoka threw it off with a growl.

Weakly, he tried to shake Tsuzuki's shoulder, but it garnered no response. "Tsuzuki!" he cried again, his voice breaking slightly. He was scared. He was afraid that it could have all been an illusion, and Tsuzuki wouldn't remember a thing about Kamakura or his family. He didn't want to be alone with those memories! Even worse, Tsuzuki might have been hurt, something having gone terribly wrong and-- "WAKE UP!! D-damn, I don't have a book to throw at you--Idiot!" His fingers clenched in Tsuzuki's collar.

His eyes stung, and he was so ridiculously scared. Why wouldn't he wake up?! Why was he so still? "Tsuzuki…" he moaned, pressing his burning face into Tsuzuki's chest.

"…'Soka…?" Tsuzuki's body spasmed underneath him as he coughed, his name just discernable through the fit.

"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka opened his eyes and stared down at the violet ones blinking skyward. "Tsuzuki…" Hisoka swallowed, his mind spinning. He couldn't get enough energy together to move from his half-splayed position, and hoped that his weight wasn't making it difficult for Tsuzuki to breath. "It wasn't only a dream was it…?" he nearly begged in a whisper. "You remember…?" Tsuzuki's eyes couldn't seem to focus on him, and they gave very little recognition to what he was saying. Tsuzuki's hand lifted shakily and rested against his cheek. Hisoka didn't move away. "Please, Tsuzuki, tell me you remember."

"Wha…?"

Becoming more distressed by the second, Hisoka dropped his face so close that he could only see Tsuzuki's eyes staring back at him. His voice was a low whisper, so that even Tatsumi or Watari wouldn't know what he was saying. If he was the only one who could remember…If he would be forced to carry that burden alone… "The flowers…What were the flowers that grew on my sister's grave?"

Tsuzuki didn't answer, and Hisoka squeezed his eyes shut, his heart sinking deep into his stomach. Somehow it hurt more than having his returned memories. He needed Tsuzuki and…he couldn't remember…anything? Hisoka _wouldn't_ cry--he _wouldn't_. Hisoka refused to be upset…They were back, that was all that mattered, right? It was enough. Having Tsuzuki was enough.

He would just forget everything from that horrible _dream_…

"…Forget-me-nots…"

"W-what, what did you say?" Hisoka could barely support his head, Tsuzuki's palm helping him to keep it up. Their noses were touching, voices faint gasps of air that fanned over each other's cheeks.

"The flowers…were forget-me-nots…"

"O-oh." Hisoka felt relief bloom in his chest, making his mouth shift into a small smile. It was so blessedly warm and he accepted it readily. "And the maid…You remember the maid's name?"

"Maya."

"Tsuzuki." It hadn't been some dream. Tsuzuki remembered too, and he hadn't been alone. Tsuzuki had been there all along, by his side, as he'd promised. He could have cried he was so relieved. Or maybe he was, because Tsuzuki's thumb was making a sweeping motion over his cheek, and those purple eyes were shimmering under him. "Tsuzuki…" He didn't know why he was compelled to say his partner's name over and over, as if by doing so everything would be ok. It just felt right.

"Hisoka…" Tsuzuki was pulling his hand down, Hisoka's face falling with it. Their breath mingled precariously for a moment, moist and quick, and Hisoka's racing thoughts froze. For a second he knew what was going to happen, and knew that the pause was for his sake--Tsuzuki was waiting for him. He stared into Tsuzuki's meaningful gaze, and leaned into the hand sliding down to hold his chin. In a breath, his lips were pressed gently to Tsuzuki's.

The thought that they were being watched didn't enter into his mind. Hisoka was lost in the surreal sensation of the chaste mouth against his, skin smooth and warm. It was perhaps one of the most comforting feelings he'd ever experienced, and his muscles relaxed reflexively, making his body melt into the one below his. Tsuzuki was a solid weight beneath him, full of heat and life, his hand like an anchor. He was home. The kiss was so delightfully like home.

Unable to find any energy to respond, he sighed into the contact. Briefly, he wondered why he couldn't sense any emotions from the person he was kissing, or from the two men standing besides them, but he let the thought go easily. He was just too tired to think any more. Tilting his head to the side, he let his face slide into the crook of Tsuzuki's neck, his lips still tingling. He could no longer open his eyes, and his hearing was cutting out like a broken radio signal. Safely in Tsuzuki's arms, he let himself go.

qpqpqpqpqp

He could hear the ticking of a clock first, insanely slow, and of the same deep ringing of a gong. It pounded in his head evenly spaced, and causing a throb each time. He felt exhausted and stiff, unable to even feel or move his own limbs. He couldn't think clearly anyway, the noise so loud, that it drowned out all thought.

Hisoka wasn't sure how long he tolerated the sound, not aware enough to keep track, but after a while he did notice the succession speeding up and raising an octave or two. By the time the _tick tock _had receded into a faint rhythm, Hisoka was becoming aware of his surroundings.

Hisoka had been in the infirmary enough times to know that that was where he was at. Even without seeing, he knew that the low-grade cotton sheets under his arms would be bleach white, and tucked tightly under the hospital bed mattress. He could feel the thin pillow supporting his neck, and a warm hand resting over his. The room smelled of antiseptic and the kind of burnt coffee that was frequently brewed in the office--only good for keeping you awake, not for taste.

So even before he could open his eyes, or even recall his reason for being there, he knew he was in the infirmary.

He heard the creak of one of the fold-out visitor chairs, and the hand over his shifted a little. It instantly came to his attention that he couldn't feel anything more than the touch of those fingers. There weren't any emotions behind them, or any residual traces he could pick up from the room. It was truly silent in his head, empty but for his own thoughts. It was strange and disconcerting, making it seem more imperative that he open his eyes.

However, just like the room, he didn't need to see, to know who the hand belonged to. Only one person would stay at his bedside. He'd only ever known _one_ person who'd shown any sort of caring towards him. Besides, the fingers were smooth, as they should be from a man who's main weapon were slips of paper. There weren't even calluses from their abundant paperwork (mostly because he never did lift his pen much).

He swallowed, trying to get his dry throat to create the words he wanted to say, but all that came was a choked sputtering sound. His eyes were even less responsive, and he wasn't sure how to articulate that he was indeed awake. It wasn't hopeless however, because Tsuzuki having apparently heard the noise he'd made, leaned forward over his bed. The chair creaked, and his hand tightened.

"Hisoka…? Can you hear me?" frustrated at his body's utter lack of consideration for the situation, he tried to speak again. It resulted in a rather dry and painful cough. He could have really used some water, and Hisoka wondered just how long he'd gone without drinking. Sure a shikigami couldn't die from lack of food or dehydration, but it didn't keep them from getting hungry or thirsty. "Could you try squeezing my hand…?"

Irritated, Hisoka thought that it should have been obvious that if he didn't have the energy to open his eyes or talk, then he wouldn't be able to move his hand. Another minute of silence passed, and then he felt Tsuzuki's fingers (presumably his free hand) brushing his bangs from his eyes. The touch was light and ticklish, and Hisoka's muscled involuntarily twitched against the action. The result was favorable however, because it gave him back some of his baser facial functions, such as blinking.

If his throat was dry and unpleasant, it was nothing compared to the state of his eyes. Not only were they blurred and slightly filmy, but his eyelashes were gummed together in such a fashion that he wondered if that might not have been what had kept them from opening in the first place. On the list of quickly noticed discomforts, he recognized how dirty he felt instantly, and then followed the thought up with the revelation that he was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns that he despised.

After about thirty seconds of blinking profusely, his eyes cleared up, and he could make out Tsuzuki's face, smiling down at him in relief. It would have been assuring if it weren't for the fact that he wanted to shower for about three hours, and not come out until he was clean and had somehow forgotten everything about the last month--which hadn't existed.

"Hisoka…are you there?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly. He realized that he hadn't responded for over a minute.

He opened his mouth and tried once more to form some sort of reply from his vocal cords. Hisoka coughed harder this time, turning his head into his pillow, and clutching at his sheets. His throat felt raw, and he closed his eyes against the sting. He heard movement, and then a hand was sliding under his hair, and tipping his head up off the pillow. Opening his eyes again, and much more easily this time, he saw Tsuzuki offering a glass of water to his lips.

Hisoka didn't like not being able to take the glass himself, but he knew that he would just end up making a fool of himself by dropping it or something, and really he was just too thirsty to put up much of a fight. Sulkily, he parted his lips and drank all the water in one long greedy swallow.

"Is that better?" Tsuzuki asked hopefully.

"Thanks," Hisoka croaked. His throat seemed pacified for the time being, and his head was beginning to clear. "What happened? How long have I been out…?"

Tsuzuki pulled his chair closer to the side of the bed, and sat back down. Casually, he wrapped his hand back around Hisoka's, not noticing how the teen's eyes darted down to the conjoined appendages. "Almost ten days now. We…were really starting to worry if you'd ever wake up. Of course Watari said that everything was alright, but…"

Hisoka could see the weariness in Tsuzuki's face now. He knew his partner had probably worried over him needlessly the whole time. Tsuzuki had a way of neglecting himself in the name of others, no matter how much it wasn't his problem or fault. But Hisoka could only _see_ those tired lines, not feel them like he usually did. There wasn't one hint of Tsuzuki's emotions. Tsuzuki's hand was touching his but... "Why…can't I sense anything?"

"Just a little backlash. It should be temporary." Hisoka was startled by the sudden voice, just now entering through the open door. Watari walked in holding a clipboard and sporting a smile. "It's good to see that you're awake. I thought I was going to have to drug Tsuzuki's cupcakes again just to detach him from your bedside."

Hisoka ignored the attempt at humor, although it confirmed his suspicions about Tsuzuki's health. "Backlash?"

"You overexerted your empathy. You burnt out all your reserves. Tsuzuki told me how you broke the spell, and it will a take while to recover from something like that." Watari stood on the other side of his bed, checking his IV and the pulse at his wrist.

"How long…?" Hisoka tried to discreetly take his hand back from Tsuzuki's, but it didn't work. The grip was held firmly, and Hisoka refused the sideways glance needed to see Tsuzuki's expression. Instead, he focused on Watari's lab coat.

"A week or two at most. You're lucky. You could have done some real damage forcing yourself like that, especially under the circumstances."

The circumstances…The _spell_. Hisoka had idiotically gotten himself into the spell, _wishing_ that Muraki never existed and that he hadn't been born with his empathy, because _then_ his parents would _love_ him. He cringed internally at how horrifically stupid he'd been.

"I didn't have much of a choice…," he muttered defensively.

"Of course," Watari readily agreed in his same cheerful tone. "If it weren't for your empathy, I doubt you would have been able to break it at all. So we'll take a little recklessness as a good thing, shall we?"

Did that make him lucky? He'd never liked his empathy, doing no more training on the ability than what was needed to get it under his control. But it had made the difference…It was the only reason they'd even been aware of the spell.

A spell which was supposed to take away his empathy…

"How was I still able to use my empathy? Under the spell I wasn't supposed…to have it." Hisoka wasn't sure how much Tsuzuki had told Watari, but he knew that Tsuzuki had seen what had happened after the demon had been summoned--just what he'd wished for.

That other reality had been so believable…He would have never known a thing was wrong if it hadn't been for his empathetic ability returning after he'd met Tsuzuki. But why was he able to defy the spell like that? It had been an accidental touch. He hadn't even been trying…

Watari hoisted himself onto the foot of the bed, leaning back on his hands. "You should read up on your own gifts Bon," Watari said animatedly. "It's a really rare ability just like being a Kagetsukai. I mean there are ways to emulate it, but people are very rarely born with the real thing." Watari made it sound like he was so special, but it wasn't like his empathy was a blessing. On the contrary, he'd always hated being born a…freak. "Someone naturally born with say, an empathetic or telepathic ability usually has a strong amount of latent psychic power. It's easier for them to pick up other abilities, whereas a normal person would have to work years to get to the most basic of levels."

"So the spell didn't work because his empathy was too strong…?" Tsuzuki asked when it seemed Watari was straying from the original question.

"Not quite," the scientist responded. "The reason gifts like these are so rare, is because they are bonded to a soul. Only a certain number of souls contain these abilities, and they are reborn with them as they are reincarnated. Consequently, while magic can work on the person, it can only affect a soul to a certain extent without destroying it. Your soul is pure energy, conserved as it is moved from one form to another. It is like a record of all your experiences from all your lives combined. Information can be added, but it is near impossible to take away." Watari continued, ignoring the silence of the other two. "Besides trying to suppress your empathy with the strong energy of the spell, there wasn't much that could be have done to actually get rid of it."

Hisoka recalled when he'd been locked in the basement, his mother crying shrilly that he wasn't her child. She would accuse him of being a demon over and over, an imposter that had killed her baby, and he could remember the feelings of hatred and fear that would smother him each night. Would it have been any different if they had known? Would they have accepted him if they'd known that he was born that way, and not a demon? Would they…have been as kind as they were under that spell…?

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked concerned. He watched his own fists clench in the bed sheets, and tried not to let his thoughts show.

"What about the souls?" he asked, thinking of all the names on that list. "Were they…destroyed?"

Watari let out a sigh and Hisoka could feel a guilty tremble across Tsuzuki's palm. If he'd had his empathy he was sure he'd be drowning in his partner's guilt and despair. "There weren't any traces of them left. It was only you two when we arrived. If the demon consumed them, then there isn't anything we can do."

A weighty feeling settled into Hisoka's limbs as he thought of the bright glow that had been in that basin. It had been their job to save those people. All those names, and not one had survived. They had failed--no, he had failed. It was their first big case since Kyoto, and it was his mistake that had cost them those souls. He hadn't been strong enough to prevent the summons, or to protect them. It had been his stupid thoughts that had made a mess of things in the end, and now all those people were gone.

Trying to keep himself from getting lost in his own darkening thoughts, he asked quietly, "What about the girl? Did she at least survive?"

Tsuzuki and Watari exchanged looks. "Like I said Bon, it was only you two when Tatsumi and I got there. Whoever committed the summoning ritual was long gone." There was a pause, where Watari seemed to debate on whether or not to continue. "Since the souls are no longer considered 'missing,' there isn't a case to pursue. It has been ordered closed."

"What?" Hisoka finally looked directly at Tsuzuki's face. It didn't show any surprise, so he figured that he must have already been told beforehand.

"That is the way it works. Since the souls no longer exist…then there no longer is a case," Tsuzuki said slowly in a pained manner.

"But what about the Demon? Or the girl?"

"We don't know who the girl is, but she is still alive, and is meant to be for a long while. Her 'contract' with the demon is complete, so there is no reason for us to get involved. It doesn't fall under a shinigami's jurisdiction," Watari said.

"The demon then?" Hisoka asked impatiently.

"Wananokami," Watari informed him. "From what I could dig up, he's been around for a while. Since the first great war in fact. He is probably a deserter of Ashitarote's army. Of course, it has never been made official just who is no longer under _his _graces. That means that Wananokami is protected by treaty between Meifu and Makai."

"There is a treaty?"

"Yeah," Tsuzuki said. "But it doesn't do a lot to protect humans."

"If it did, do you think we would have so many cases involving demons?" Watari waved his hand. "It was the only way to end the war between the four realms. It left a lot to be desired, but overall it leaves things less bloody."

"But Wananokami ate those souls. How can that not be a problem?" Hisoka couldn't understand why the case was over just like that.

"Not that it isn't a problem…It is just that it was part of the contract the girl made when she cast the spell to summon him. Since all the terms of this inherent contract were met, there weren't any laws that were broken."

"But…"

"When Saagatanasu tried to kill Hijiri for example, that was a breech in contract. If you'll recall, the real case was to retrieve the cursed violin. The only reason we were allowed to get involved with Hijiri is because Saagatanasu was trying to kill him. If it hadn't been for that, we probably would have hit a road block just like now." Watari gave him a sympathetic look. "It happens sometimes."

It happens? No big deal? So after everything that had happened, all those people gone, that life that he would forever be haunted with…he was supposed to just let it go? Since when had innocent people become pawns that could be written off under some neglectful laws? Hisoka couldn't just say it was ok. It wasn't. He had been…toyed with and now--now he couldn't even get justice.

"So that's it?" he asked emotionlessly.

"I'm afraid so." Watari observed his cold silence for minute before hopping off the bed. "Why don't I leave you two kids alone. There are a few things in the lab that shouldn't be left unattended for too long…"

It was an excuse, and a poorly executed one, not that Hisoka cared.

Tsuzuki's hand tightened on his to the point that it was starting to hurt a little, but Hisoka again refused to look at him. He was ashamed of everything that had happened--that Tsuzuki had been there to witness it all. Now he just wished he could forget everything, but it seemed an impossible task. The last place he wanted to be at the moment was alone in a room with Tsuzuki.

"I'm sorry." Tsuzuki broke the silence when it became apparent that he was being ignored.

"What are you sorry for?" Hisoka asked with only a hint of bitterness.

"If I had been quicker…attacked the demon before he'd consumed the souls…" Tsuzuki continued with a dejected note, "I should have done something, but instead you had to go through all that…"

"It wasn't your fault." It was so like Tsuzuki to blame himself. As if the whole world's problems were because of his existence…Hisoka couldn't understand how one person could take on so much guilt.

"But I was there, and I allowed the spell to happen. You could have been hurt, or worse…I--" His hand was shaking.

"It was my fault Tsuzuki. You didn't do anything wrong." Hisoka closed his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault! I knew that I was the only one who could stop the summons…but I hesitated and I let you--"

"It was _me_. I should have been able to take care of myself at the very least. I was too _weak_ to do anything about the girl, and then that _wish_. Damn it! And now we can't even do anything, and that girl is still out there, and so is that demon!"

"'Soka…" Maybe it was a good thing that he couldn't feel any emotions other than his own, because those were strong enough to make his eyes sting and his fists clench. He wasn't sure he would have been able to handle the emotions Tsuzuki's voice was promising. "You were tricked…The spell--"

"I WAS WEAK!" Hisoka couldn't contain the boiling anger that was building under his skin. His eyes snapped open in a glare. "None of it should have happened! I was _right_ there when the demon ate those souls and I did nothing! And it was because of me that we got stuck in that _nightmare_--"

"--It wasn't--"

"_Real_!" Hisoka spat.

No, all he had were lies.

As distinct as they were, like the lives of two entirely different people, every detail and memory belonged to him. Neither faded as a dream would, becoming blurred and the emotions dulled. Both were sharp and much too real in his memory.

The last month--which in reality hadn't happened--wasn't properly discernable in his mind. He remembered everything in grave detail. Not just from the moment Tsuzuki had arrived at the Kurosaki estate…He could remember bedtimes stories his mother read to him, and birthdays he'd never celebrated.

His mother had never smiled that sweet one he'd been fooled with. No, only that cruel look, cheeks red, and eyes hard--that was real. That demon hadn't granted all that he'd desired. No, this was hell that he'd been given. To see what he could have had, to actually remember such things…and now know the truth about it all.

Conflicted. Devotion like no other seemed like a joke now that he could remember his mothers real 'love.' He hated them. Yes, all he could ever feel in his heart was his loathing for his sorry excuse for parents, but now it was even more sickening with the knowledge of how much he had cared under the spell.

It was all a disgusting lie.

Even the wish couldn't disguise what his parents really were, what his life was meant to be. He wasn't meant to be happy. He wasn't meant to be loved. It was all a joke at his expense, and now he couldn't get those taunting memories to fade. He had lived that life, as much as he'd like to deny it, and the spell broken or not, he would be cursed with it much as he was with his real one.

His anger seemed at the bursting point, the injustice so strong and repulsive. As always he'd been given the worst of it. He was never given the smallest reprieve. One blow after another, and he was expected to hold it together--because he was supposed to be strong.

He wasn't so sure half the time. What he wanted to be, and what he actually was, were two different things.

And he made mistakes, suffered, broke, just like the fragile doll Muraki always claimed him to be. He wasn't above it all; he wasn't even capable of forgetting. Half the time his past haunted him and tore him down. He wasn't powerful, not like he wanted to be, and he couldn't say what he felt half the time. He couldn't protect what was important to him, or even respond like a normal person when he was confronted the most basic of social interactions. He was a mess.

He couldn't fight like a proper shinigami could, and he always got himself into dangerous situations that Tsuzuki had to rescue him from. The spell had been his fault--his weakness.

None of that would have happened if hadn't been for him and…now he was stuck here remembering.

"I let that demon get into my head--_you_ shouldn't have been there!"

Tsuzuki stiffened. "I'm sorry."

"STOP saying you are sorry!" Hisoka shook his head, trying to think straight. "_You_ didn't do anything!" He couldn't stop shouting, even though his throat was already raw, and his voice was cracking.

"Exactly! I should have been there for you!" When Hisoka made the misjudgment of looking at him, Tsuzuki's eyes were shining with regret.

Hisoka choked, not liking the feelings that arose after seeing those eyes. "You can't always protect me."

"But you are my partner and I should have been able to do something. Instead I…I f-forgot." Tsuzuki pressed his face into their joined hands, trembling slightly. "I can't believe I forgot…Without you I don't know what…"

"Tsuzuki, stop." Hisoka didn't want to hear the rest of that sentence. He didn't deserve nor was he ready for what Tsuzuki wanted to say. "It wasn't real, so none of that matters."

Tsuzuki looked at him with wet eyes. "I know it shouldn't be possible. Even Watari told me that demons don't have the power to change time. Everything was only an illusion…but--" Another tear escaped from his lashes, sliding down the curve of his cheek. "It felt so real. I didn't know any better." Another tear. "You're the only one who has ever stayed. Without you--under the spell--there was no one. I was alone."

"Tsuzuki…," Hisoka said thickly. His throat felt clogged, like a pillow was being pressed over his chest, and his eyes were beginning to blur against his own volition. He didn't want to cry. He really didn't want to, but it was so hard when he could see the pain in Tsuzuki's face. His words made his heart race, and his sight undeniably watery.

"I'm sorry," Tsuzuki said while sniffling against their hands. "I should be comforting you. I mean, it was worse for you wasn't it? You had to see…your mom die, and I'm the one crying…"

Hisoka flinched, drawing Tsuzuki's gaze again. It was remorseful and full of the sort of soft affection that Hisoka could never get used to. "At least we know it wasn't real. I asked Watari to check. I made sure. You're mother is still alive, so--"

"And that is supposed to be a good thing?" Hisoka's voice wavered, and finally he couldn't keep the moisture in his eyes from falling. Embarrassed to be seen so vulnerable, he yanked his hand away from Tsuzuki and used it to cover his eyes. He didn't want to see Tsuzuki's pitying look, or perhaps it would be one of shock because he wished his own mother dead.

"I know the wish was different from reality, but she is your mother…"

"She isn't!" Hisoka's shoulders shook, and the palm of his hand became wet where it pressed over his closed eyes. "That _woman_ was never my mother. A mother wouldn't--" He swallowed, unable to word all the memories that were clamoring in his head.

It was all so confusing. He hated her, he knew he did, but that same devoted love that he'd felt under the spell still tried to trick him. Emotions jumbled together, making the ache in his chest stronger.

Tsuzuki's hand squeezed over his shoulder. "I shouldn't have assumed--I'm sorry."

Why did Tsuzuki have to be so kind when his own parents had never showed him one once of love? Why were they never there to comfort him when he cried? How could this man apologize for everything, when he was the one person who was always there for him?

"Stop apologizing," he told him once again.

"I can't, not when I know you are still hurting." Hisoka couldn't contain his next sob, Tsuzuki's sincerity, even without his emotions to back it up, much too strong for him. He'd never had someone talk to him like that…like his feelings mattered. That Tsuzuki would be crying over him…

"You can't change it. I-I couldn't change it. It's all in the past. It has already happened…It's only memories now."

"Memories hurt the most." There was something about the way Tsuzuki said those words, and Hisoka knew that he understood him perfectly. Some might give empty comfort, but Hisoka knew that if anyone could, then Tsuzuki would understand the suffering of one's past.

Tsuzuki moved over him protectively, draping his arm across Hisoka's chest and hooking it over his shoulder. A teary face pressed into where his hospital gown met his clavicle, breath stammering. "I wish I could have saved you from all of it."

Hisoka cried harder, in earnest this time, just like after the Queen Camella had sunk or when he was pulling Tsuzuki back from the brink of death. Part of him felt cornered and he wanted so badly to be able to just throw away his feelings. He didn't want to be conflicted or upset. He wanted to forget.

Only…he had, and look what that had cost him.

Hisoka pulled his hand from his eyes and placed it over Tsuzuki's back, instead turning his face into Tsuzuki's hair, trying to return the gesture. He had almost lost Tsuzuki in that wish. That was why he was here. That was why he chose to remember. The pain of the past would always be there, but the only person who had ever made it worth it was Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki who was clinging to him and crying. Tsuzuki who would sacrifice anything for him in return. Tsuzuki who was the most powerful person he had ever met and yet the most vulnerable at heart. Tsuzuki who he…

Tsuzuki sobbed harder as his embrace was accepted, and whispered, "I love you."

Hisoka held on tighter.

**Antumbra**

**Prologue/Teaser**

Tsuzuki resisted the urge to flip through the report in his right hand. That would be snooping. That would make him nosy. So no matter how much his hand itched to just open it, he knew it would have to be firmly ignored. It wasn't like the contents could be all that different from the one he'd written (in his left hand), but he was curious none the less.

It took a day after breaking the spell before he'd woken up, and fully aware, asked for Hisoka. His body had ached and his brain had been foggy, but he had still dazedly tried to sit up. Watari had smiled in a placating manner while pushing him gently to lay back down, and opened the curtain that acted as a divider so he could see Hisoka, still sleeping soundly in his own bed.

Hisoka had slept for nine more days after that. Tsuzuki refused to leave his side, and no one dared to persuade him from the notion. He knew it was his own shortcomings that had resulted in Hisoka getting hurt so badly. He guiltily sat at his bedside for days, refusing to do anything else. Tatsumi eventually brought paperwork, 'as a distraction,' but they remained in the same stacks they had arrived in. He didn't want to write his final report. To Tsuzuki, the case wouldn't be over until Hisoka woke up, and he was safe. Watari would join him sometimes, asking the questions Tsuzuki was willing to answer. And so slowly but surely, he painted a picture of what had occurred.

That was all Tsuzuki could really do. He wasn't sure what would be saying too much, and betray Hisoka's confidences. Everything had been so…personal. Tsuzuki understood that he had been allowed to see things that Hisoka hadn't, and most likely never would, share with anyone.

So Tsuzuki put off writing his report. What he told Watari was enough to hold any pestering at bay, and Hisoka was more than enough of an excuse not to write a single word.

The day that Hisoka finally woke up, it became even more clear how significant the events that had transpired were. Hisoka had been exposed and he was scared and hurt and…angry. And…Tsuzuki just wasn't adequate enough. How could he be enough to take away any of that?

How could he ever be worth what Hisoka had sacrificed for him?

That question had been plaguing him since his partner had been released from the hospital ward and he still couldn't come up with an answer.

Somehow he had ended up with his empty report before him, and he finally had no way to back out of writing down _something_. There were no more excuses, and yet he still had no clue how much he should divulge, and what he should discretely leave out.

Everything that led up to the spell being cast came out relatively easy. It wasn't too hard to write about following the soul to the clearing, or finding the girl who was casting the summoning spell. The part afterwards, when Hisoka had charged ahead when he himself had hesitated, that was more difficult. He faltered when he described how the souls had been consumed and the spell cast, but he managed to get it out all the same.

Tsuzuki briefly went over the case he and Watari had been given for Rui, and had no problems until he got to the part where they arrived at the Kurosaki estate. He floundered when describing what he had first felt when he Hisoka under the spell. The report would after all be public record and…again it seemed too personal.

He settled on, 'instinctively drawn towards.'

He left out a lot after that, only centering on the facts he had gleamed from his meetings with Nagare and Hisoka. He didn't say a word about the boy who brought his mother flowers, or devoted his time tending to her.

Weaving in his and Hisoka's progressive dreams was difficult. They had all been emotional, and he didn't want to admit private things like the fact that he loved Hisoka above all else, or that even in his dreams he would watch Hisoka so possessively… He left as much as he could get away with vague, and instead gave details on the state of Rui and Nagare.

He wrote the tale of the Kurosaki curse word for word, all the while wondering if any of it was founded in fact, or if the Demon had created it to add to the illusion of the spell. He couldn't begin to think about any of it being real. He didn't want to imagine what Hisoka could have been subjected to if it were true.

Tsuzuki depicted the ghastly story, start to finish, hoping that he was telling enough without hurting Hisoka in any way. He knew that he eluded to some things without really touching on them, but knew that Tatsumi would understand.

The only problem was that if his report deviated too much from what Hisoka had written, then it might cause problems. Had he said too much? Too little?

Tsuzuki's fingers clenched around the manila folder in agitation. He only had one last chance to take a look before it was all final. Hisoka had left him in charge of bringing the reports to Tatsumi's office, but if he took a detour to grab a donut…then perhaps he could take a peek…

Shaking himself, Tsuzuki tucked both resolutely under one arm, and marched up to Tatsumi's office door. It took only one knock before he was called inside.

Tatsumi's office was the epitome of order and efficiency. The windows were always clean (using daylight was better than wasting electricity), paperwork was filed neatly by chronological order in drawers (for easy access), and his desk only held the bare essentials (reduced clutter was more conducive to work). It was the exact opposite of how Tsuzuki kept his work space, but it represented the secretary's personality perfectly.

When Tsuzuki entered the office, Tatsumi was already waiting expectantly in his ergonomically friendly chair. "Thank you for knocking. It's a nice change from your usual barging."

Tsuzuki wondered if Tatsumi had known he was coming. There wasn't any papers out in front of him, and his pen was set to the side. He smiled anyway and held up his occupied hand. "I was just bringing in our finished case reports."

"I see that." Tatsumi gave him an appraising look before he continued, "could you please have a seat, Tsuzuki-san? I have something I would like to discuss with you." Tatsumi motioned towards the empty chair on the opposite side of his desk.

Tsuzuki swallowed. It wasn't possible that he'd done something wrong already. It hadn't even been a week since they'd left the infirmary. He'd spent so much time worrying over Hisoka, that he hadn't restocked his supply of sweets, or had any run-ins with Terazuma that resulted in property damage. Still, Tsuzuki sat down nervously, and squeaked, "I didn't do it!"

"Is there something you would like to tell me?" Tatsumi asked with raised eyebrows.

"Uh…no…?"

Tatsumi gave him the softest quirk of the lips. "You aren't in trouble Tsuzuki-san."

"Oh." Tsuzuki sighed and relaxed into his chair. "Ok then." He smiled sheepishly. Tatsumi extended his hand and Tsuzuki gave him the two folders. A wave of both relief and anxiety washed over him. His last chance to read Hisoka's report and revise his own was now gone, but at least it was finally over. The case was now officially done with.

Tatsumi was silent for a minute as he flipped through the files, an unreadable expression on his face. "These seem to be in order." Satisfied, he set them down and looked at Tsuzuki gently. "How have you been handling things?"

Tsuzuki hoped that his feelings weren't obvious. He didn't like worrying anyone, most especially those he cared about. "I'm doing fine. I'm just glad the case is over," he said noncommittally.

"From what I understand, you two went through quite the ordeal."

"It was…" Tsuzuki didn't know how he could explain the confusion and emotional turmoil that the spell had caused. "…Complicated."

"It was a difficult case." Tatsumi's gaze became more sincere. "I regret how things turned out. Such a hard case so soon after--"

Tsuzuki held up his hand. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. We are shinigami. It's our job…" He didn't want to hear Tatsumi apologize like he did after Kyoto. The man liked to protect him, he knew, but it was another thing to let him feel guilty for something he had no control over.

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses. "Shinigami are often faced with difficult cases," he agreed. "But I'm glad to finally see you and Kurosaki-kun out of the infirmary."

"No more glad than I am." Tsuzuki's smile turned passive.

"I've been assured by Watari-san that there are no lasting affects from the spell."

Tsuzuki thought that that was a blatant lie. Although they were healed physically, it would be a long time before everything got back to being 'alright.' The memories of what had happened would haunt them, and the look that had taken to Hisoka's eyes when he thought no one was watching… No, they would be affected for a long time, perhaps never forgetting completely.

"He wouldn't let us leave until he was done poking and prodding us."

Tatsumi folded his hands together and posed his next question in a delicate fashion. "How has Kurosaki-kun been since returning to work?"

Tsuzuki sank a little in his chair. He didn't really know what to say. Distant? Distracted? Almost cold? Would he really want to voice how awkward things had become?

It wasn't as if Hisoka was deliberately cruel or even as standoffish as he was when they'd first become partners, but it was like there was now a barrier between them. It was difficult to hold a conversation, not that Hisoka had talked much before, but the blond had recently taken to clipped tone. It was even harder for him to make eye-contact with his partner, no matter how much he tried to lighten the mood or resort to his usual antics. Everything felt stilted, like they were both trying too hard to act like nothing was wrong, and failing miserably.

Even after confessing his feelings…Even after Hisoka had cried in his arms…

Tsuzuki twisted his hands together. "I don't know." Tatsumi waited silently, apparently expecting Tsuzuki to continue. "It's Hisoka. He's not very good at talking about how he feels."

"You know him better than anyone," Tatsumi pushed. "How do _you_ think he is doing?"

"I'm worried about him." The words were out of his mouth before he could think about them. It was true. It was a near constant since the spell had been broken, his worry, only he hadn't voiced it before now. "He hasn't been the same since we got back."

Tatsumi sighed, leaning back in his chair, where he removed his glasses to clean them. There was a length of silence before they were replaced, and Tatsumi finally spoke. "I was afraid that you would tell me something to that affect." Opening one of the drawers on his desk, Tatsumi withdrew a folder. "This is a summons we received last night."

Tsuzuki glanced at the folder apprehensively, before accepting it. Confused, and just a little nervous, he opened it. "But this is…" Tsuzuki swallowed, rereading the page in front of him. "I thought this was just part of the spell…Watari said that all of it had only been an illusion…"

"None the less, shinigami are required to go to Kamikura and investigate Kurosaki Rui."

Tsuzuki froze, realization hitting him. His eyes narrowed slightly. "You can't possibly mean that you want to send me and Hisoka on this case."

Tatsumi frowned. "Ideally the case would go to the pair whose area it falls under, but they are currently involved in a case. In fact, you two seem to be the only shinigami that are available. I thought that your knowledge on Kurosaki Rui might be advantageous to the investigation."

Tsuzuki glanced at the file in his hands, and then promptly shut it. Setting it firmly on the desk, he said, "find someone else."

"I understand that you just completed a hard case, and if you want more time for recuperation, then a few days could be afforded."

"No." Tsuzuki gave him a straight look. "I don't want Hisoka anywhere near this case."

Tatsumi paused, and then in a softer manner asked, "considering that the investigation will be taking place on _his_ family, would he not wish to be involved?"

Tsuzuki knew Hisoka. Regardless of what he felt, or any other emotions he had towards his family, Hisoka would think it was his _responsibility _to accept the case. Even if it would probably only traumatize him more, Hisoka would go to Kamakura out of obligation. Well, Tsuzuki wouldn't let him. If no one else could see that it would be a terrible idea to send him there, then he would put a stop to it.

"Tatsumi, Hisoka's family was horrible to him," Tsuzuki said emphatically. "He has already been through enough, and that spell only made things worse. The last thing he needs is to go back _there_. I don't care how, but find someone else."

"Well…" Tatsumi took back the folder. "Watari-san was here in the office when the invoice was faxed. He shared very much the same views on the subject that you do, and he volunteered for the job. Still, he would need a partner. If you are willing to travel to Kamakura with him--"

"I'm not leaving Hisoka."

"It would only be temporary."

"It doesn't matter. Hisoka needs me right now. I can't leave him alone after everything he just went through. His empathy hasn't even returned yet." Tsuzuki was determined to get Tatsumi to see things his way.

"You're concerned, but if you don't want Hisoka to be on the case, then I'm not sure what you expect me to do--"

"You go!"

Silence. Then, "excuse me?"

Tsuzuki smiled, realizing that not only would this solve their problem, but Watari would be quite pleased with the arrangement as well. "You said that Watari would go, but that he needed a partner. You go. You have field experience."

"That was decades ago!" Tatsumi seemed flustered. "I haven't worked a case since we were partners!"

"It's just like riding a bike! Besides, I'm sure you'll do a much better job keeping Watari in budget than I did…," Tsuzuki said, thinking about all the great food they had bought when they'd been sent on the case under the influence of the spell. Now that he thought about everything that had happened, he knew it was for the best that they stayed out of it. Tatsumi and Watari would be fresh, objective eyes. He already knew too much--had seen too much.

"You would be much more of an asset than myself. You know more about the family situation, and could help the case be solved much quicker if you were there."

"And since I will be unavailable," Tsuzuki said smoothly, "then you two can read what I wrote in my report, and use that to solve the case!"

"Tsuzuki--"

"I'm not going Tatsumi, and neither is Hisoka." Tsuzuki couldn't remember the last time that he'd been so firm with his ex-partner, but he knew that this was important.

A deep, disgruntled sigh. "Alright, I'll take the case with Watari-san."

"Thank you."

Tatsumi studied him for a moment, and his gaze turned sympathetic. "You are a good partner. I'm sure he'll be alright."

"I hope so." Tsuzuki lowered his eyes and prayed that Tatsumi was right.

Tatsumi gave a rueful smile. "That is all then. You are excused. I'm sure your partner is wondering what is taking you so long."

Tsuzuki stood up and walked to the door. He stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder. "Tatsumi…" The secretary looked up. "Whatever happens, please try to save her. Even if Hisoka claims not to care, I don't want him to be hurt if anything happens to his family…"

"I'll do what I can," Tatsumi said, and Tsuzuki knew that he, like Hisoka, didn't like to make promises he wasn't sure he could keep.

Tsuzuki left Tatsumi's office with a heavy heart. He knew that this turn of events would only exacerbate Hisoka's troubles. There was even a chance that Hisoka would be angry if he found out that Tsuzuki had kept them off the case. He hoped that the conversation he'd just held wouldn't ever come up.

Deep in thought, Tsuzuki wandered into the break room. Nearly all the donuts were gone. All the chocolate covered or cream-filled ones had been eaten, and there were no maple bars. The only ones left were two old fashioned donuts with no glaze. He took one from the plate, but then the last one looked lonely without its partner, so he took it as well. Biting from each in turn, he wondered how things would ever get better. He'd thought that Kyoto was the worst things could get, but now he wasn't so sure.

Hisoka was being forced to cope with everything that had happened, and there was nothing Tsuzuki could do to help. If asked, the blond denied that anything was wrong at all.

Finishing his donuts, Tsuzuki returned to their shared office space. As usual, it was silent as he entered. Hisoka had long since finished any paperwork, backlogged or otherwise, and he was tidying up his desk.

Tsuzuki gave him a brief glance before sitting down in his own chair. It squeaked as he leaned back, old, and always threatening to finally give out. He still had some work he could be doing, but he was much to preoccupied worrying over Hisoka to focus on any of it.

Instead, he watched Hisoka as subtly as he could, which wasn't discreet at all. Hisoka gave him a harassed look, huffing as if annoyed, before shoving his face in a book he'd begun reading in the infirmary.

That was how things usually went, but Tsuzuki didn't mind. He hoped that silence was something that wouldn't always be between them. He hoped that everything would slowly begin to repair itself.

But…

What if it hadn't all be lies? Did the demon somehow know the fate of the Kurosaki's? Was there more to what had happened then everyone believed? Tsuzuki wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to any of those questions.

He'd be there for Hisoka no matter what. If things got worse, he'd make sure that Hisoka had someone to turn to. He'd never let Hisoka forget that he was loved. Even if it took one hundred years, he would wait for the day that Hisoka was ready to accept him. He'd wait for, "I love you."

"What are you smiling about?" Hisoka asked as he looked up from his book, a testy frown on his face.

"Nothing." His smile broadened with hope. "Nothing at all."

**AN: **So finally it is over… Actually, if it weren't for school being so hectic this semester, I bet this would have finished up a lot sooner. Anyway, as all of you know by now, this is obviously NOT the end. I never intended for this story to be a stand alone, but in fact started it as the first of a trilogy. That means that I am indeed already working on a sequel.

Now that you have read the teaser/prologue for Antumbra (the name of the sequel), I hope that that entices you to want to read more.

Any questions that you still have and wondered why I didn't answer them…take them as foreshadowing or something I'll answer in the sequel. If you are really impatient, you can ask in a review, but I might just tell you to wait anyway.

Also, I will confess that the next story will include some more 'adult' subject matter, so the rating is being bumped up to mature. (There will be Tatari as well!)

That is all folks… I hope to 'see' you all again soon. There might be a delay before I post the first chapter of Antumbra, but keep an eye out.

Lastly, I would like to say thanks to all my reviewers, new and old, because you really encouraged me throughout this process, and helped me improve my writing immensely. Any future reviewers, thanks as well.

Love to:

Tinker-Bell-Greenleaf (My fabulous beta who really stuck it out with me) 

QueenOfHearts3 

Sailorlight22

barnacle-mermaid 

laustic

YamiHaruko

Mimi

Dakotarox14

jennamarie

The Drowess Nione Ithiliel 

Chubby-King-Chocobo

Eria

C

Smexy Kitten

DarkHeart16

Kenshin's Soul

BigFatWitch

thirdgirl

AiNiDaiSuki

Twinfetish

offshore hope

Syrenka

EternalEnds

Xylia Luna Orion

Maya

Rae and Arakni


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